Kids Are Chaos! I Can't Even Get Food Down.

1) ALL laundry goes in washer ~ don't use a laundry basket, just dump right into washer ~ no time to sort either. let all the kids sort their clothes and throw them in their own drawers......at this point who cares if it gets folded.

2) can you find a neighbor kid that is 8, 9, 10, 11, 12 etc to come over for $3 an hour to play with your kids, make them a PBJ sandwich for lunch, help kids put their laundry away, pick up toys, etc etc

3) You can stop breastfeeding if its that chaotic

4) let your 5 yr old give your 2 yr old a bath, they can sit in tub together.....let 4 yr old take bath alone.......but once a week is gross

5) You may only be able to eat snacks for a while, that's just how it goes with a lot of young kids under foot

6) TV is your friend, utilize it as much as needed

7) all kids need quiet time alone in their own space

8) if you have to get frozen meals, do it, go to costco/sams club and stock up

9) set a bed time & stick to it....my kids go to bed around 7-7:30

10) just use paper plates ......give each kid 1 cup everyday and they can refill it with water when needed

11) Screaming kids, that's a hard one, i still have yet to figure out

I understand how you feel. I had 3 kids in 3 years. My house is always clean, laundry is always done, and kids get a bath everyday. My husband works 60 miles one way & works 12 hour days & I have no family to help. For my sanity & health I had to figure out ways to cut corners, I hope I have helped in some way. Best wishes

I am so sorry for you! I feel the same way, and my husband is the stay at home dad, but the kids love me, so I can't get anything done either, and neither can he, but he does more than me. And, we only have 2! I don't even know what I would do if I were you! But, here are some ideas...

1. You need YOU time that is not while you should be sleeping, that doesn't count. So, find a babysitter, neighbor, friend, family member, etc to come in one day a week for 2 hours for you to LEAVE or for them to all LEAVE and let you have a break. This doesn't have to be expensive, maybe $20 or $30 if you have to pay. Family doesn't usually charge.

2. Close the kitchen! Put out a buffet of snacks they can munch on throughout the day, cheap healthy stuff, and no other foods until meal times. (fruit, pretzels, biscuits, breads, etc.) Obviously you'll have to help the younger ones, or, have the older ones do it. 4 and 5 and make a pb&j if you let them.

3. How strongly do you feel about breastfeeding after 12 months? If you can, and are ok with it, switch to formula or to milk, which is what is recommend for all other kids who are not bf. Weaning may be a good idea for your sanity and your body at this point. Making food for a baby takes a lot of work and energy and calories. No wonder you are worn out.

4. Make a list of what you HAVE to do that day, and then skip the rest. The difference here is that you are skipping it intentionally instead of because you can't get to it and that is very mentally freeing! Daily: dishes, meals, pick up toys, vaccuum. Have one day a week to do the rest of the cleaning with kids and hubby' help: bathrooms, dusting, floor washing.

5. Laundry: fold and sort as it comes out of the dryer. I have a hamper for each person outside the dryer and it goes in. Well, the kid's clothes I just throw in because they are small enough that I have to unfold them to see what they are to put them in the right drawer, so I only fold them once now. This cut out a lot of time! I was amazed.

6. Downsize, downsize, downsize! If you have too much you can't keep up, but if you don't its so much easier. I am saying this, but its so much harder to do than say; I know!

7. Tell your husband that you need help. I know that he works hard all day, but his job is not as hard as yours, and it doesn't matter what he does! It is easier to go to work than to stay home.

8. A little TV will not hurt the kids, and if you need to turn on a half hour show to eat, then DO it! I have to do this. Thomas comes on so that they will pay attention to it and I can have food. If they like different shows, then use 2 tvs. Even turning it on so that you can cook and then all sit down to eat is ok too. I know many M.'s on here wont' agree with me, but really, they won't die from watching 1.5 hours a day while you cook lunch and dinner. I personally think educational Tv is a tool that parents can use to get what they need, and the kids think they get a treat. Win-win.
Good luck mama, I know you will get a lot of other ideas on here and they will be good, so take what you can and do what you can and remember you can't take care of your kids if you dont' take care of you first!

Yeah that sounds about right. :)

Then they go to school and summers are like this.

Then there is this one summer where you realize it is over and you had fun, you don't actually need them to go back to school for your sanity.

Please for the love of god, at that point, don't be like me, don't have more!!! :p

To this day I can tell you I am a two kid M., who happens to have four. :)

get some playdough GIrl!!!

Put them all in seats at the kitchen table and if their butts stay there they get to play with it, butts get down, playdough goes away.

Even the ltitle ones can poke dry spagetti noodles in the playdough.

after 10 mins if it' seems like it's losing it's magic, pull out some cookie cutters.

a bubble machine is your friend too!!!

I read your 2nd question about your hectic day today before this one, so my first suggestion is that you are overscheduling your kids' extracurriculars. They really don't NEED all these extras if the hassle of getting them to all the extras is driving you bonkers. My parents had 5 kids and we didn't do ANY extracurriculars until we were in grade school, and even then, they were all school related so that we could just do them right after school, while my parents were still at work. I never felt deprived of any opportunities. I had a great childhood, although by today's obscene standards I'd probably be seen as a disadvantaged inner city child.

Kids meals can be VERY simple, and the 4 and 5 year olds can help you out. My older kids (3 & 5) make their own sandwichess. Of course the PB isn't spread as uniformly on the bread as I'd do it, or the turkey hangs over the edges of the bread much more, but they eat it, proudly, because they made it. Give them some paper plates and plastic knives, bread, PB & J, or PB & banana, whatever, and let them build them.

Older kids can also wash their own dishes. My 5 yr old LOVES to wash his dishes. I just make sure there are no breakables or knives in the sink. He is so proud to do it, and he washes his little brothers' dishes too. He splashes the floor quite a bit, and might soak his clothes, but that's ok. I use the wet floor as a nice opportunity to clean that part of the floor, which is a high traffic area--I just wipe it with a paper towel and it quickly becomes the cleanest part of the kitchen.

It is great that you're breastfeeding, but since you have passed the 1 yr mark, you can feel free to ween whenever you are comfortable doing so. At some point the trade off between extended breastfeeding and your mental health might be out of balance.

Honestly though, I am very jealous of your 10 hrs of sleep, but you might consider giving up 1-2 hrs of it so that you can focus on doing things without the interruptions of the kids. My house would look like a warzone if I went to sleep when I was tired, and not when I was done with what I needed to have done to not feel overwhelmed the next morning. My house is rarely spotless, but it is MUCH easier for me to run the household when I have put in the extra time the night before to at least make it orderly and start with a relatively clean slate.

I second the notion of trying to find a neighborhood mother's helper. You'd be surprised what you can get done if your kids are just occupied for a while without you having to intervene for an hour or so.

ETA: Forgot to suggest putting the kids' dishes in a lower cabinet so that THEY can set the table themselves. This has helped a lot. Do the same with their snacks - celery and carrot sticks, etc at their eye-level in the fridge. They can grab for themselves after they ask for it.

Great first question! Welcome to MP!!!

Sounds like you have your hands full. You talk like there is something wrong with using the TV to entertain them for a little while to catch your breath or get something done is wrong. There is nothing wrong with letting them watching age appropriate shows once in a while. Other wise you will never get a break.

Looking at both posts today, I think you've got too many things scheduled for your kids......

I had 3 kids 4 and under, so I was pretty close to that situation.... they were born August 1982, April 1984, and August 1986.....

Anyway, we sat down at scheduled meals...... That may help keep more sanity at mealtime, and allow you to eat, also. Endless eating isn't good for you or the kids..... I'm not meaning you have to cook elaborate meals every time... we did cereal in the mornings, sandwiches for lunch (or mac and cheese, stuff like that), and a family sit-down meal in the evening.

As far as laundry, I probably did 1-2 loads every day.. and for the oldest two, I also did cloth diapers! I washed them myself (in the machine, of course)... no diaper services out in the tiny town we lived in..... By the time #3 came along, I switched to disposable diapers.....

Yes, I had to take all 3 kids when I went grocery shopping, or go to the post office for our mail (no street delivery... PO Boxes only), or anything.....

My hubby wasn't gone as late as yours.. he usually left around 7:30 and was home by 5:30... and my goal every day was to have dinner ready within about 10 minutes of him arriving home.

Baths? No, I didn't bathe them every day, but they need baths more often than once a week....

Your 4 and 5 year old are old enough to do small things around the house.. they can pick up clothes and help you sort things and fold them... my 4 yr old grandson loves to help unload the dishwasher (he unloads the silverware after I take out the sharp knives), and also has helped fold towels and such.

Yes, my kids did fight... and their room was always a mess! There were times we took a big snow shovel to the floor and just shoved it all aside......really! I never did master the knack of keeping the house clean, (I still haven't), but I tried to have the living room clean before hubby came home.

As far as extracurricular activities? We didn't do much when they were that young... I did have the older two in dance one year when they were probably 4 and 6, and gymnastics one year, but not multiple activities... when they hit school age, they had brownies after school (and I was the leader)..... They had t-ball in the spring and summer, but it wasn't like it was multiple things every day.....

There were occasional other activities, but it sounds like you are overbooked if you can't take care of other things.....

You HAVE to get control of your children and house! There truly is no excuse for everything you have described. Laundry is simple with today's technology. So are dishes if you own a dishwasher. This IS your responsibility and it sounds like you're failing. The kids get bathed once a week? In the middle of summer? That's a bit crazy. You need to take a good hard look at your daily routine to figure out where all your time is going. And then get yourself and the kiddos on a schedule. And make your family an actual meal! I'm sorry if I come off as rude. It just seems apparent that you need a reality check, not coddling.

ETA: it isn't about how many kids you have. A schedule truly helps a lot. And I personally think 10 hours of sleep for an adult is way too much. I sleep an average of 6. Why? Because after everyone goes to bed I have schoolwork to do. Everyone is different on how they handle children and household chores. I know a woman who has 4 kids, only one is schoolage. She's at home with 3 all day then works a full time job at night. Plus she's in college. And she's always taking her kids places and never complains about day to Day duties. I envy her. But another woman I know only has 2 kids and has less to clean because everyone is away from the house all day. And she can't even keep up with the laundry. It's a personal choice of motivation. Do you want a clean house and well-behaved kids? If you do then you will have to put forth the effort to make it that way. Honestly, i can understand your post about your husband now after reading this one. He is seeing this chaotic mess and it's stressing him out. Why should he clean up the house or make meals if you're not? Parenting and marriage are both dual efforts. Neither one of you should be expected to do it all. That being said, it sounds like you're focusing on the wrong things here. A clean house and well-behaved, well-fed, clean children should be your top priority. As well as a well-fed, clean, and happy you.

You have to many kids under 6 syndrome. LOL I feel for ya - I really do. That's why people come up to you in the store and ask how you do it. Cuz they really want to know how the hell you do it.

Mine are 3 - 5 - 8 and I feel frazzeled everyday. I can't imagine your day. I would be unhappy too - sorry.

Let the people who babysit use the TV - you need a break!!!

Whew! I am sure a lot of it has to do with the ages of your children. However, I am sure you can turn it around. At this point you are probably so work out that you just keep plugging along without making any changes, but it sounds like if you are going to ever come out on top, you need to change it up.
Can you afford a mother's helper for a few hours a day? I have been feeling overwhelmed and in fact recently posted on here looking for suggestions, and was actually very surprised at how many people hire out help. Even SAHM's. I am actually just thrilled because I hired a young teenaged girl today to come in 2 hours a day, 5 days a week, just to PLAY WITH MY KIDS. It is going to be wonderful, I just know it. Now I can finally get something done each day without feeling guilty every second that the kids are not getting my attention. I think it will be worth every penny. You could hire someone to do laundry, clean house, or just babysit while you get some "me" time.
Your kids are young and I think it is time you also start setting some boundaries. I wish I would have earlier. For instance: Mealtimes: Why on earth should you have to shovel bites in your mouth over the sink? Teach your kids that you are a person, too. Sit down at mealtime. Get all the food out and sit down together. It is a great way for the kids to learn table manners. During mealtime, I do not get up unless I absolutely have to. Pull the highchair over by you, but for God's sake, sit down. You are not the kids' servant. And if they goof off and won't sit still and let you eat in relative peace, pick them up and set them in the play pen or in their room. They will learn quickly and you will have one problem tackled in no time.

Buy a few more sets of inexpensive dishes. The Corelle ones are great; they are $25.00 for a huge pack at Walmart and they do not break. If you have more dishes in the cupboard, you won't need to worry so much about running out and you will not have to run the dishwasher as much. Buy a huge pack of paper plates. I use them only at lunch, and I felt bad at first for "ruining the environment" but I decided my sanity needed less dishes to do, at least till school starts again.

For laundry: Can you get it all caught up this weekend and then just have a few scheduled laundry days per week? That has actually helped me a lot, as before I was just washing everything that was dirty, every day. Then all the clean stuff would be thrown in a heap and would often get mixed in with dirty stuff and it was just a nightmare. The kids used to also use a new towel every day and throw it on the ground, so we have instituted a 1-towel-a- week rule and they have to hang it up or no allowance (plus then they have to use a wet mildewy towel the rest of the week, yuk). Laundry used to be my worst nightmare, now it is going fine.

Do you have a husband or partner living with you? They need to probably take on more. Can you talk to them this week about re-dividing up the household chores?

And, part of it is letting go of expectations....most of us do not have perfect houses. I am a clean freak and my house is still not perfectly clean all the time (or any of the time!) It's fine. Your kids are young, you are breastfeeding and potty training. It's gonna stay a little hectic and a little messy for a few years. Then one day, you will look back, realize that life is running smoother, and wonder how ya did it!! Best of luck

I have three kids ages 5, 3, and 1. Life is busy but I rarely feel completely frazzled, tired at the end of the day yes. I also work 15 hrs a week taking the kids with me or they are in preschool and my oldest will be starting kindergarten. Anyways I think you really need to get on a schedule. You need a little organization. Our day starts at 7 and I usually turn the t.v. on for 30 min(longer on the weekends) they will sit there while I get ready real quick and start getting breakfast and packing lunches. Sometimes I also throw things into the crockpot for dinner. We all eat, get dressed, brush teeth. We usually have to be out the door to school, work, etc. We try to get out everyday playdates, the park, mall, zoo, children's museum, right now we are going to the water park a lot. We come home and the baby goes down for a nap. This is quiet time in our house if my older two can't be quiet then they have to go outside(which they like anyways) I might let them watch a movie sometimes, or I'll do crafts, practice our workbooks, stickers, during the colder months we'll bake something etc for a little while.This is the time I straighten the house up, unload the dishwasher, laundry, wash dogs, clean bathrooms, prep for dinner etc. Baby naps for about 2 hrs then I get her up and we play outside, or often go on bike rides(the only workout I get) then we eat dinner, they watch a show while I clean up from dinner, then baths, stories which we all enjoy so it can last up to 30 min, and bed by 8 no later than 8:30. Then I usually finish cleaning the kitchen, lay out the kids cloths, I pack things we'll need for the next day like lunches, pool bags, birthday presents etc. I take my showers at night. Feed the dogs and cat. Then I can sit in front of the t.v. and relax. I'll fold laundry if I have to. I am usually in bed by 10:30. My husband is helpfull but he works long hours. Oh and on Sunday night I also try to plan my grocery trips out. I always keep some healthy frozen meals on hand. We also eat at the same time everyday. My kids can have a snack (out of the "healthy bin") If they want but otherwise we are not eating all the time and if they don't eat what I give them then they'll just be hungry till the next meal. I find if we don't have stuff to do we'll all drive each other crazy, but again I am also not entertaining them all day long. Little kids are hard so cut yourself some slack too! Sorry this was long but I hope it helps!

Yes it's hard work. Look at it as a job in a daycare, make a schedule and stick to it. The kids are probably bored and need a routine, craft time, outside time, snack time, play time, lunch time, quiet play or nap, playground time,Three meals and two set snack a day. Everyone must sit down at the table at these times and NO snacks will be served at other times. They will adapt to this quickly if you are consistent. You are not a short order cook, all kids eat what is served or nothing. Healthy snacks will make up for the times they choose to not eat, but kids need to experience a little hunger so they know when to eat for hunger and not to eat out of boredom or habit. The schedule will include picking up toys before dinner every night! Pack up most of they toys so there is less to have all over the house and less for them to put away. Make cleaning up a game, sing a clean up song and give stickers to the helpers! Even the one yr old can put a toy away, your job will be helping the youngest clean! If you rotate the toys every few months they will be more interested in them and play nicer. Is your husband out of the picture? Can you get someone to help? Even if only for a few days while you catch up on laundry and pack away excess toys.
If hubby is around insist he help with the children he brought into the world, he needs his family as much as his family needs him and make sure you allow him to do some things his own way! My MIL had 7 kids in 9 yrs. Older kids were expected to help. Children were expected to sit at the table like civilized people, not savages. They couldnt afford too many toys, or a very big house, so less to clean. Children were expected to behave while M. did laundry and cooked dinner. You can do it!!

So my question is:
What the heck, does your HUSBAND do to help?
My philosophy is: even if a woman is a SAHM and the Husband works.... HE IS STILL RESPONSIBLE for doing things at home and chores and with the kids too. It is not a hotel, and those are his kids too and his Wife and his house. So, he has to be, ALSO a PARTICIPANT in it, all.

Men/Husbands may not do as much as a woman, once home. BUT, they should be doing SOMETHING at home/chores/helping with the kids too.
Working and the wife being a SAHM, does not exempt them... from being free of responsibilities at home, or in tending to the kids.

AND, any M./Wife... deserves to have a life too. Not just being a SAHM "slave" 24/7 all day and night, and not ever having time to herself.
So, the Husband also has to realize that.

Any M., with one kid or more... will feel like that. Everyday being a rush of activities and demands.

I run a daycare and I know how hard it can be! I've managed to watch 5-8 kids all at one time by myself! Agh! You should come up with a set daily schedule for everyone. With those ages you can work around everything. Have ALL the kids sit down for breakfast. I'm sure the 4 yr old, 5 yr old and possibly the 2 yr old can feed themselves. If not; start making food they can pick-up with their hands. While three of your oldest children are eating or at least tempting too; put the 1 yr old in a high chair. You'll get everyone's breakfast, lunch and dinner done all at one time. It might take some time to get use to. Make sure before you sit down to feed your youngest that the other 3 have EVERYTHING they need (ie milk, spoon/fork, napkin, etc). Try also putting the 2 yr old and 1 yr old down for a nap once a day. Then you can spend time by yourself. Maybe put on the TV for the 4 yr old and 5 yr old while the other two are napping. Then; you can sit down for lunch and have a lunch all by yourself. :)

When you have that many kids, the key is to have everyone on a schedule. I don't know if you have your children sitting down at the table to eat or not, but I would do that. All the kids sit down at the table to eat. Have meals as a family. Your children also have to learn that sometimes they may have to wait a minute or two before mommy can help me. Take time to breastfeed while the kids are playing or watching TV. I don't surround kids by a TV all day; but if you have to get things done, it never hurts. Some times even putting on a CD and just letting the kids dance around is fun. Don't forget to be firm when needed! Also; have the kids help you with chores. Make it fun! Have the 4 or 5 yr old help clearing the table or sticking things in the sink/dishwasher. Kids love to help out!!!

As I said; having a schedule can help a lot! Maybe hire a maid to come once a month or twice a month even if you can. If not; have the kids help! They can always wipe down the bathroom sink or help put laundry in the dryer.

If you need anything PM!

Good luck!

Well I'll try to give you my shortest answer, It sounds like you need a schedule and get organized!
I have 3 kids 5, 3, 1 and a baby on the way. But I feel that things run pretty smoothly around the house. I start by waking up about 1/2 an hour before my 1 year old gets up. So i can jump in the shower. once I'm out I take all the kids down stairs for breakfast. I usually just get some fruit while feeding the baby her oatmeal or whatever. Then all the kids play while I finish getting ready. Once I'm done all the kids get ready. Then we do whatever, play dates etc. Then lunch. I make all the kids their food then sit down with them and eat lunch too. After lunch it's nap time for my 3 year old and 1 year old. while they are napping I do laundry, clean up the kitchen and then take a little down time for my self. My 5 year old just plays, watches a movie etc. After nap time it's more playtime, go for a walk etc. Have dinner. After dinner hubby is home and watches the kids while i clean up the kitchen. Then we have family time etc. Then it's snack at 7:00, in the bath by 7:15 or 7:30 (every night) and all the kids in bed by 8. Then I have the rest of night for me time, time with hubby and usually fold a load of laundry or 2. This is our routine every day! If your kids are on a schedule they won't fight you on things. They will know that this is how every day goes. And you will find you have more time to keep up on house work, play time with the kiddos and you time!

Are you single? You should find a man, or a woman if thats your thing to help you out.
Good Luck

I'm sorry - that sounds terrible and really hard!

One thing that has helped out at my house - Sticker Chart!

I have a two year old and a four year old. Each has a sticker chart with @ four - five things on it and about 10-12 columns. My four year old has 1)Feed the dog 2)Get dressed 3)Share/play with sister 4)Eat Dinner 5)Brush Teeth. These things may stay the same, or they may change, each chart - I put whatever I want him to work on.

At the dinner table, I have a picture chart showing what you need to get your Eat Dinner sticker (stay at the table 10 minutes, try everything on your plate, take your plate to the sink when done). In his bedroom - a picture chart showing what he needs to do to get his Get Dressed sticker (Check weather (look out window), pick clothes, put dirty clothes in hamper, put new clothes on).

The things I put on their sticker charts are the things that are driving me CRAZY. I HATED that I was always harrassing my son to stay at the dinner table and eat instead of sitting and enjoying my own dinner - so I put it on the chart. My husband was miserable every morning trying to get the kids dressed - so it went on the sticker chart. My kids were always fighting over toys - so they now get a sticker for sharing.

So far - its working REALLY well. After getting about 10 stickers, my son now has that as normal behavior. He sits at dinner now and gets dressed, sticker or not.

Oh - and when they fill up the sticker chart - they get some sort of reward - a trip for ice cream, chance to pick dinner (McDonalds! Pizza!), etc.

Edit to add: My two year old has "Laundry Helper" on her chart. When I am folding laundry - she helps put it away. I fold and then tell her where to put it. She puts the kids jammies in their jammy drawer and the towels in the bathroom, and other clothes on the right person's bed. I still need to put the towels in the linen closet and the clothes in the right dresser, and the folding sometimes gets lost in transport, but its still a help - and better than having her rolling around in my clean laundry.

Is there a reason you're not getting help at the end of the day?

But you'd better start lining up structured patterns now. Or you can bet this is not only going to continue, you'll have taught your kids to pass on the same chaos when they grow up and have families.

Stop the all day eating. Especially whatever. Plan meal times. Get some back bone and start disciplining these kids, because there is no reason for them to get away with screaming and fighting and messing up everything. Start teaching them now to clean up their toys. Give a time limit and hand out time outs if it isn't done. Make a chart showing good behavior and have rewards for a week of good behavior.

You've gotta take the reins here. It's doing no one any good the way it is now. Hubby needs to effectively jump in and help.

OK, you seriously need a break on a regular basis...and you need to allow yourself to have that break.

I don't know if you have a hubby/boyfriend/SO/partner working outside the home as the "breadwinner", but if you do, he/she needs to seriously step up and help out at home a little. Hopefully he/she is not working 14 to 16 hours a day, 7 days a week, and would be able and willing to wash a load of dishes, run some laundry, play with kids some and help get them ready for bed. Sometimes just that one little thing makes a huge difference. And days off they can do even more.

It's okay to let them watch TV if it gives you a bit of sanity. If nobody else can watch them without resorting to TV, how do you expect yourself to manage? 1 to 2 hours a day of some Nick Jr. or kid-friendly video won't hurt them. No really, it won't.

If they are able to watch some TV or get engaged in some activity (coloring, playdoh, etc.), that's the time to get something to eat for yourself. Any interruptions are met with, "Sorry, but I am eating right now, you will have to wait." Unless someone is bleeding or has a broken arm or is on fire, they can wait.

You will probably have to do 2 to 3 loads of laundry a day to keep up. You won't have it all done at once, but it won't be out of control either. Paper plates and cups are your friends.

For the older kids, you need a zero-tolerance policy for the problem behaviors. Screaming, fighting, crying (except when really hurt), whining, hitting and smacking earns them time-out in their rooms, separated from each other and everyone else.

Get some bins and other items for organizing toys and making clean-up easier. Then they can help you gather up blocks, Legos, books, etc. and put them where they are supposed to go. Start introducing a schedule and some structure to their day. Make a chart if it helps. Bathe 1 or 2 kids every night so they are getting a bath more than once a week.

Hopefully the 5 yo is going to kindergarten in the fall and the 4 yo can go to preschool. See if the younger ones can go to a Mother's Day Out program 1 or 2 days a week for a few hours and then you could really catch a break. See if there is a teenager in your neighborhood that can do some babysitting or act as a Mother's Helper.

See if you can get a cleaning person to come in every 1 to 2 weeks to get some deep cleaning done.

Your house may never be "perfect" but it should be "good enough" where it doesn't feel so crazy and chaotic.

Once the youngest one is in school full-time, see about going back to work, even if it is just part-time.

Most importantly, don't feel like you have to be Super M. or some kind of martyr to be a good M. to her kids. You don't have to enjoy every single moment with them but not liking any of the time spent with him will begin to make you resentful and they will pick up on that. If Mama's not happy, ain't NOBODY happy. Having some breaks here and there, and making sure they happen no matter what, will help recharge your batteries so you can enjoy your time with them more.

ETA: Read your other post about your husband - while I think he needs to improve his attitude, I would agree with others that have said you don't need your kids in all these activities at this age. If you had 1 or 2 kids, maybe some would be ok, but not when you have 4 kids ages 5 and under. Maybe you need to think about if all these activities are really benefiting them if their house is in chaos and Mommy doesn't enjoy spending time with them and Daddy is too stressed at the end of the day to have much to do with them either. They need happy parents and a happy home more than enrichment classes right now.

I responded to the post about "is my husband a jerk..." first so I am just reading this one. You need some help. Being this busy during the day only to have a grumpy non-helping husband come home is not helping - ANYONE!! Please consider all of the advice provided before mine (I don't have anything else to add and feel you have a ton of great advice) as I feel it will greatly help you. I hope things get a little easier and you can get some time for yourself - at least once a week for an hour or so (and not just while sleeping).
You have support here - just wanted to let you know!

I feel ya!!! I have 3 kids who are 3,5 and 6. I'm a stay at home M. for the last 6 years. Don't get me wrong i love it but it does get stressful at times. I love how people tell me "oh you have such a easy job and bet you just sit on your butt all day." Seriously??? Not the half of it. Since school been out for the summer I have all 3 home, and its been crazy!!! Right now while i'm typing i have all 3 running around the house yelling. "SIGH". I always have my children on a schedule since they were babies. Breakfast at certain time every morning,lunch,maybe nap time,snack,dinner,baths,cleaning the house when they are going to bed and my time to chill out after everything is done. It works for me! I kinda miss being around "adults". I love my kids more than anything in this world but some people don't understand you til they walk in your shoes. Luckly i'm starting college next month so it will be a big break for me! Just gotta take a break for yourself at least everyday even when the kids are sleeping. Just get yourself and your kids on a schedule. It should help out a little better.