Kids That Hit

I taught my daughter to never strike the first blow, but that if anyone else put their hands on her, to fight back and fight dirty.

Hitting at that age is NORMAL. If you don't agree with the other parents parenting style, then I suggest you find a different play group. In my group of friends, repeat offenders are taking home and socially isolated.

But 2-5 year olds HIT, PUNCH, BITE and PINCH. They are still learning how to control their emotions and use their words.

I'm sure the other mother's are trying to teach their kids to be respectful. My daughter is usually super sweet and kind. However, in some situations, she will pinch, as will her super sweet and respectful best friend. It's NORMAL,

Oy.

Sure, it's normal and okay when it's YOUR kid doing the hitting, punching, biting, kicking....

What are moms of the kids that get hurt supposed to say?
"Sorry, honey, but it's normal for kids to punch you in the face because they haven't learned to use their words yet."
(?)

Normal?
"Normal" implies that it's usual, typical, or to be expected.
The fact is, hurting other people on purpose is not acceptable. Period.

I understand that kids need to know it's a dog-eat-dog world on the playground or whatever, but I've seen too many parents just lah-dee-dah the situation because it's "normal". They don't even make their kids apologize.

We had my grandson's 1st birthday party at a park and I couldn't believe how many kids we didn't even know were hovering around and wanting to play with his presents or take them out of the packages. One kid hit my grandson, A ONE YEAR OLD, because he wanted the toy he had and my grandson didn't let go. Parents nowhere in sight. I told the boy he needed to go find his mom and he said, "She told me I could come over here".
I said, "We're having lunch and a party. It's not play time here. P.S. - You don't hit babies. Go find your mom".

I half expected his mother to come and chew me out, but she didn't. She hadn't been paying attention in the first place.

In my opinion, if you see another kid hitting or hurting your child, you have every right to speak up, especially if the other parents treat it like it's no big deal.
How will the other child learn it's not okay and how will your child learn it IS okay to say, "Knock it off!" if no one says anything.?

Again, just my opinion, but it's "normal" for kids to learn they can't hit or hurt other people. When you think about it, it's far more normal than teaching kids that getting hurt by someone else just comes with the territory.

I don't think the problem is the cornering, taking snacks, punching as much as why aren't the parents of those kids taking care of it and telling them they need to go home if they are bullies. I would not put up with that. Of course kids hit and do things like that but not in the face at that age and it should be stopped immediately. If they aren't doing that then find a nicer group of kids to play with. Your kids have a lifetime to learn how to deal with bullies and now is the time to play nicely and have fun and learn how to be kind, not have to defend themselves every play time. Find a new group to interact with. One where parents are disciplining kids that are mean.

You are brining them to teach them these values/traits.. but this is normal for these kids to do these thing.

They are kids who learn through experience, not programed robots that do exactly as you say.

Do you know everything there is in life? Not likely. Some people kids have longer or shorter learning curves. Some kids potty train at 18 months, others are 4 yrs old.. Everyone is differnt we have differnet life experiecense, each kid is different.

My kids. I can tell my 18 mo NO and she stops what she is doing.. I could not do that for my son at that age.. Difference, we are the same parents with two different kids. who learn in two different ways.

Good luck

Its a good learning situation for your children (and you, I say that because boy, did I have to learn) because it is normal and they need to learn to stick up for themselves. *And I would suggest not overreacting* Give your kids the words to use, role play the situation, with both of them. If that doesn't stop the behavior, then intervene. (its not going to stop it, but its very good practice for them) I've corrected other kids' behavior when it comes to my daughter, but she needs to practice setting her own boundaries. I don't talk to the parent about it until it is a real problem. But I'm the adult, the role model and kids learn from everyone around them. I'm not a push over, but I know little eyes are watching and hauling off and misbehaving myself doesn't warrant respect.

Well, I personally will say something to the other child, quietly and politely - "we don't hit", etc., and I will get the children out of the way. I do pay attention to make sure my son isn't partly at fault cause he can get VERY excited when he plays (he's 5.5 and BIG) and can get too rough, or can annoy the other kids cause he looks like he's 7, but he's SO not. They assume he should act differently. If I am in a place like a McDonalds play area and kids get too rough, regardless of if they are mine, I will shout out a blanket "not too rough" like it was at MY kid, but just a general heads up.

And if a child hauls off and hits my kid for no good reason - even if my kid is being a minor pest - I will shout "you do NOT hit!" I did this over the weekend when an 8 year old slapped my child so hard every adult in the place looked up - it left a red mark. The mom, bless her, jumped all over her son for it and took him right home.

One thing I will not tolerate is VIOLENT reactions - kids being annoyed is one thing, but when it escalates to over the top physical, that's not ok, and I don't care if a mom gets mad at me for telling her child to lay off, I will do it. And I'll do it to protect any other mother's child as well. I won't touch another child, or scream at them, but I will use that stern, commanding mama-voice we all have.

I would speak to the mother of the boy that's bullying your daughter. To me, that's bullying and he needs to stop it now!

As for the boy who hit your son in the face, that's not bullying. That's just a kid hitting another kid. Most moms on here don't agree with spanking and most do just "talk" to their kids when they discover that they've hit/bit another child. Personally, I believe in spanking. So I would like to know what you would suggest that the mother of the hitting child do? I think most of this forum would have only done what the mother did - talk to their child.

The one thing you don't mention is how old the child is who is cornering your daughter. Taking food w/o asking is pretty common up un til 5. You also don't mention how old the boy is who punched your son in the face. If he's 4 as well, then yes, this is common behavior. For many years kids have a hard time articulating their wants, needs & feelings so instead of talking, like we parents would prefer, they resort to hitting. So, yes it is common. At this age, none of the things those kids are doing to your children is bullying. They're just being kids who do not know how to express themselves. Absolutely step in & mediate the situation. Tell the food stealer all he has to do is ask for some snack & he can have some. Tell the face puncher firmly that hitting is absolutely unacceptable. If it continues, then talk to the parents of those kids. If the 'offenders' are older than your kids, they need to be told to play w/kids their own ages or maybe you need to find a playgroup of kids closer in age to your kids. As others have said, you need to teach your kids to stand up for themselves. The 20 month old can say, 'no' to the food stealer & the 4 yr old can tell the other kid to stop hitting.