Kindergarten and I'm a Nervous Wreck...

Relax.
If you are freaked, she will be freaked.
Be positive.
Put one foot in front of the other and get through this stage. I can only imagine what you'll be like when she goes off to college... :-)
LBC

She'll be just fine. Schools know how to get the kids from point A to point B and how to deal with sensitive kids.
You'll do what we all do--send her off and sit and worry the entire day until she gets home. ha ha

My daughters are going into 1st and 3rd grade this year...they absolutely flourished in K. When my older daughter started full day K I was similar to you, saying "full day isn't mandatory...if she's not doing ok, or I think it's too much, I'll start signing her out at lunchtime 2-3x/wk"! Everyone told me to calm down and that she'll adjust. Sure enough, about 3 wks into it she took off,'adjusted to the schedule and LOVED it! She totally came into her own, learned that she could make her own decisions without me, loved being able to buy a lunch a couple times a week (started trying new foods because of it!!) and learned who makes a good friend and who doesn't.

My second daughter disliked preschool, never wanted to go, always asked to stay home with me even though she only went 3 moorings a week. She never went to any daycare because my mil retired when she was born and came to my house the 2 days a wk I work (my older daughter went to a daycare those 2 days for 20months til sister was born). I thought being away 6+hrs a day, 5 days might be too much for her. It's a long day for such a little person. However, she LOVED it!! What a relief!

I bet your daughter learns to conquer some of her fears, she'll see the other kids are ok with it and she'll figure it must be ok, too. A little peer pressure at this point is good! Just make sure you give her a few wks to adjust before thinking it's too much for her. They get really REALLY cranky/whiny afterschool the first few wks. It's like they're SO good for the teacher all day then have nothing left for you at the end if the day! She knows you're safe to have a meltdown with. :)

Good luck! You'll both be fine!

She (and you) are going to be FINE! My daughter started kinder last week and she did great. They are always so different when we aren't around. She is going to make some great friends and mature so much, you won't believe it. The only suggestion I have is maybe you could just take her to and from school and not have her ride the bus? I thought about letting my daughter ride the bus home, but then I had a panic attack thinking what would happen if I was late getting to the bus stop for some reason. So, I am picking her up at school because at least if I was late, there would be an adult there to keep an eye on her (even if I had to pay a fee or got a slap on the wrist for it...she would be safe). My husband drives her in the morning. That is their special time and it's great because I don't have to have my son and I dressed to run out of the house that early. Riding the bus TO school might be okay for her too because there would be someone there to help her find her way to class. Just some things to think about. I know it's hard to let them go, but they have to at some point and she really will adjust to it. She will be EXHAUSTED the first week though, so be prepared for that. My daughter also comes home starving every day, even though they have lunch and snack time (since their lunch is so early in the day), so have a snack ready when she gets home. Get excited about it, Mom! If you are full of fear and trepidation, then she will pick up on that, so you have to get genuinely excited for her and know that she is going to grow up a lot this year and you'll be there to help her through the rough points. Good luck!

I think all moms feel this way--I know I did. I don't think you need therapy.
Just don't her see your anxiety. This is maybe the first time, but you've gotta squash down your fears (til she's on the bus) and put on a happy face! It's very important that she knows you believe in her and welcome new opportunities for her.
Hang in there!

Every transition is difficult but it will be better for both of you if you can get a handle on your emotions and anxiety. Bus drivers are used to the first day of school - just go out to the bus stop with your camera and take pictures! The younger kids follow the example of the older kids - they get on the bus and sit down. I'm sure there is a plan in place at the school to greet the bus and get the kids to the right classroom. Schools do this every year and kids make it through!

Your daughter is growing up, and the fears she had in preschool won't necessarily play out in kindergarten. I don't believe in "only child syndrome" - I have a single child but I don't consider him an "only" - this is the size family we wanted and the word "only" implies that something is missing or he is deprived. On the contrary, he has become a confident and self-sufficient kid because he a) spent a lot of time with adults so he knows how to talk to them and b) he had to make friends everywhere he went. It's important to let your child grow up and, more importantly, ENCOURAGE her to take on new challenges and experiences. The more you can raise your expectations, the better she will do. That doesn't mean not to listen to her fears, but make sure they are HER fears and not your own.

Figure out what you are going to do during the day so you aren't worrying and obsessing about what's going on with her. She will be fine. If the school doesn't call you, she is fine. Also try to figure out exactly what you are scared of - and then you can address those fears. Feel free to seek out some short-term counseling to help you over the hump and give voice to your fears. Your daughter will grow to be a confident young woman if her mom shows her how to embrace changes and transitions with enthusiasm and excitement for her new milestones.

My kids are in KInder and 1st and I don't know a single mom that was not nervous about their kids starting school. Her personality is similar to many kids her age, so not to worry so much. I know easier said than done. I usually drive to school and walk my kids to the playground and wait till the teacher picks them up before I head out. Well, I recently started working and have dropped them off at the parent drop-off the last couple of days and I was paranoid that they would get lost the 20ft from the car to the playground. Kindof irrational, but it will just take time to get use to it. For me is is giving up the control I have had for the last five years. It is an odd feeling to be with them everyday, then all of the sudden they are off. Good Luck and deep breaths. Remember millions of kids go to school. I had to remind myself of that same thing when I was dropping them off becuase I was feeling guilty for really no reason at all.

I agree to just send her, she's plenty old enough and she needs the opportunity to gain some confidence and conquer some of her fears - keeping her home another year is not going to accomplish this. Sometimes some kids need to be gently pushed just a bit to grow past their comfort zone, and then they realize it's not so bad. She doesn't need to be turning 7 years old at the end of kindergarten and 19 when she graduates high school. I don't think it's about her being an only child, she has the personality she has but if she's been good for the people in preschool, but gives you a hard time about ending a play date, that tells me she knows the situations in which she needs to behave and with you she feels safer being less than perfect. I really do think you are feeling way more anxiety about this than is necessary - she'll be fine. Kids her age have been starting kindergarten for many many years and they have all been fine - if there's any hiccups, you'll deal with them. Start thinking of her and treating her as the capable girl that she is - if she knows you have confidence in her, she'll have confidence in herself. Take a deep breath and RELAX. Don't let her see you getting too worried and upset or she will start to think there must really be something to get worried about. There are going to be many more milestones down the road.

Kindergartens also get kids that have never been to preschool. The teachers know to ease into the school year. The Kindergarten year is to learn class room routines, not academics In my daughter's class they even had a "quiet time" after lunch where there would be soft music and lights off where the kids could do an activity or lay down on a mat and half the class would fall asleep for a short while. Midway through the year they stopped the room darkening but still kept the quiet time.
If you think she is truly sensitive there is a great book titled "The highly sensitive child - how to make our children thrive in a world that overwhelms them" by Elaine Aaron http://www.amazon.com/Highly-Sensitive-Child-Children-Ove...
It was my bible when my oldest was growing up since it has chapter by age group on how to adjust the world to them until they can adjust the world.
For her I had to rehearse certain phrases so that she would not give away all her toys - she had so much empathy but then forgets about herself and after all the stickers are given away she is sad that she does not have any left.
Take a deep breath and let her go, she and the teachers will let you know if she needs help.

I think your own fears may be perpetuating your child's many fears. Personally I don't like the idea of a five year old riding the bus alone either unless she has a few buddies and they know all about the stranger rules. Can you drive her and/or arrange a car pool with some other parents?

I suggest that you encourage your child about starting school, take some pre-trips to and from her school. If you can find out the bus route that would be a good exercise.

You may want to consider some counselling alone and with your family.

Blessings....

I too have an only daughter, now 16. She was SO excited to start K and I was SO nervous about it.

From experience, she thrived, loved it and has soared.

The only "only child syndrome" is the one you create in your head.

Try to relax, don't let your daughter sense your fears. It is hard to let go but we must. She is most likely very excited and afraid to show it because she does not want to hurt mommy's feelings.

We are shopping colleges right now and in 2 short yrs, my daughter is off to college and out of the nest. Trust that you have done a great job so far and you willl continue to be a great mom.

Kindergarten will not help with fears/anxiety. Sometimes school even makes it worse unless it's a small school. The bus shouldn't be a problem. I remember worrying about the bus as well, because I had such bad experiences on the school bus that I my mom had to drive me. (The kids really were bullies.) My son's class had a very sensitive child and the kids used to tease her. I even caught one of the parents complaining about her at a party. I snapped back and told them that it is natural for a child to cry when they fall on a hard floor. They imformed me that the little girl was always crying about everything including grades. I told them you don't know how much stress that child might have home, so she doesn't need it here or at school. The main thing is that you are the one that will have to step in and defend your child when she needs it. Keep the teacher close and get to know her. Make sure the teacher knows your child is sensitive and you both are working on it at home. Always ask your daughter how her day went. Never push a child into facing their fears. It is best to let the child take the lead or do things slowly. Extreme fears can become dangerous. How? Animals can sense fear and will play on it. Kids can run out in front of cars due to an extreme fear. (Trust me, that is what happened to my son and I had to quick yank him out of the way of the car.) He had a fear of dogs. Just about all his friends have dogs and the parent would lock the dog up in another room, but what if that dog accidently got out? I took action on it, but very slowly. First, I had to dispel all the horror stories MIL and hubby would tell and the stories in the news. This meant I had to explain why that pit bull attacked that baby, and how it could have been prevented. Then I had him visit the SPCA, because those dogs are in cages. First couple of times we just drove up to the parking lot, next couple of times we just got out of the car and walked around breathing in the smells, then we finally got to the lobby, later we would peak in the kennel windows, then we'd open the kennel doors, later we actually walked through the kennel past the dogs in the cages and I'd explain why each dog acted the way they did, finally we bought a small older dog that is very laid back and doesn't bite. (Almost no energy in the dog, but he's a lovable fluff ball.) It took 2-3 years, but he got over the fear so we could buy the dog. Now my son has no more fear of dogs. Take everything in baby steps and explain, explain, explain. There is no "NO" or "because I said so!"

This is whAt u worked so hArd for. She is reAdy. Let her spread her wings n fly. Be happy for her. She will take her cues from u. Take a breath n smile.

Updated

This is what you have worked for. Step back and let her spread her wings
and fly. She will take her cues from you so catch your breath and put a
big smile on your face and be happy for her.

I remember when my first baby went to Kindergarten! (My last started today!) I was so nervous. I had sent her to full day pre K so she would be used to a full day. She did fantastic so she was ready. But, was I? It was like it was all official once she started kindergarten!
I think the only way for your daughter to be less scared of unfamiliar things is to experience them, so they are no longer unfamiliar. She may be scared the first time, but she will learn from the experience anyway. Her teachers won't force her into anything if she is too scared. Eventually, she will learn to be less scared of new situations. Most kids learn to love school in the early years. I remember when my daughter started pre k, her teacher told me it takes 8-9 weeks for kids to fully get comfortable in the class. She was an excellent teacher and I don't think it took even the most scared little boy more than a few weeks. I looked at it as they had to learn to adjust sometime, and they have to go to school, so it may as well be now! Just relay your concerns to the teacher. Kindergarten is a big step for all kids and K teachers know that. It's the first full day experience for lots of kids.For her, try the book The Kissing Hand. It's a cute story and will give you and your daughter a bond during the day while away from each other. I would say, try not to cry until after you leave her. That way she won't feel anxious from seeing you cry. The first day will be the hardest, but she may do better than you think. Then you can relax and soon enough you will love the time you have while she is in school. I hope it goes well and you both have a great first day! :)

The anxiety you are experiencing does not seem like a typical response to a child starting kindergarten. If you are very anxious, it makes sense that your child may be also. Would you consider seeing a medical doctor and or therapist to take a closer look at your stress level?

Please don't let your own anxiety influence your daughter, especially if she already has anxiety issues. Stay in touch with her teacher, and if she has anxiety issues in school, ask the social worker or psychologist there for assistance. But if you're in such a state over your child, who has already been to "school" starting kindy, you may need some outside assistance and I don't mean that in an unkind way. Good luck

You won't know if she's ready until the first several weeks of school. Gotta let your baby bird fly for the first time, you know? My oldest started kinder this week too, but it was nice to let him go and be curious and make new friends.