Kindergarten, Homework and Working Mom

In my opinion, it is always more important to advance your family rather than your career. There is no such thing as "having it all" no matter what the self pronounced Super Moms say. You should check out I Don't Know How She Does It by Allison Pearson and Parenting By Proxy by Dr. Laura (I know, I know).

Ask your son and daughter what they would want; I guarantee they'd miss you a lot more than the money. You have one shot to see your children through to adulthood. How do you want to spend it?

I work and get off in time to pick up my kids. They are going into 1st and 4th grades this fall. To this point I have never spent more than an hour helping with their homework (combined). Last year my daughter was in Kindergarten, and the only homework she had was to read every night at least 10 minutes. I choose to make this a bedtime ritual. I read to both children "The Chronicles of Narnia" all but the last book (that is where we left off) a chapter a night, and if I was at Bible study...my hubby would read something different to them.

My hubby and I do not either one make really good money. I work at a coffee house and my hubby is a manager for Champion Windows. Things are tight around our house, but I would not trade being able to pick my own children up from school for a bigger paycheck. I think each mother has to make a decision as to what is better for her. For me, I really want my hubby to make more so that I can stay home. We are getting close to that point! YEAH, but in the mean time I will not go back to a 9-5 job.

Whatever works best for you and your children is what you should do. Good luck to you.

I am so glad to hear someone else say what I think every day!!! Why don't men feel this crunch??? That and that alone is precisely why I am a SAHM. If I were you I would cut back at work and not make yourself miserable! The biggest problem is that as your responsibilities increase at work, they also do at home typically. Kids get involved in activities and school work for kids these days seem to be geared more towards the parents and less toward the kids (ENDLESS projects!!!). Your career will be there in a couple of years, your son will only be in Kindergarten once. Cut out the unimportant things and don't drive yourself crazy!

Kindergartners don't have that much homework. It may be to finish coloring a picture or to write a specific letter so many times.

My husband is on the other end of the spectrum. He prefers me to stay at home, and so we live on a tighter budget and are quite happy that way.

T.,

This is coming from and older and hopefully experienced mom - I have a 19, 17, 3 and 22 month. I am now a SAHM with my younger two and I MISSED SO MUCH because I was a primary breadwinner and didn't think I had a choice. Through experience I have learned that I wish I didn't work so many hours and spent more time with my kids - I can't go back - but my babies are getting all my attention - and even when they start school - they'll have me whenever they need me - afterschool, games, activities, etc. I think it's so important - I was a SR Network Engineer with all Microsoft initials behind my name - but my kids lost out...I won't let that happen again. I adore all 4 children - but really feel that the time you spend with them learning is SOOOOO important - and if you can't - your daycare provider must be willing to!!!

Teri

T.,

Very tough choices that we have to make as moms. I also have a son turing 5 this month starting kinder in the fall and a daughter starting middle school. I will be working 830 to 230 to be able to take and pick up my kids. It is the best thing for my family. But, that doesn't mean it is easy. I don't know what your job is, but mine can be stressful at times and I have lots to do. Sometimes it is stressful to try to rush and get all my work done so I can get out of there in time. Then if something comes up, I can't do it because I HAVE to leave. It is easier to have your kids in aftercare because you don't have to worry about leaving so early. But, then you work late and have to rush to get dinner going, etc,. So, after all that rambling, I definately think that if you can reduce your hours without going into debt, you should do it. You will probably have more time to cook dinner and save on going out to eat. Shop around to make sure you have the cheapest phone plan, internet, cable, etc. It will be worth it and it will make your husband's life easier because you will be able to manage the household easier. This is just my two cents. If your husband is really against it, then you might need to talk to come to a decision you will both be happy with.
good luck

Tracie,

I completely understand your dilemma. I've read some of the responses that suggest being a sahm, cutting back hours, and so forth. However, this is not always an option. I know it is possible to get by with less money available at the end of the month but is also very, very stressful. I was a sahm and was also in charge of my household finances so getting by with less money was a stress factor for me. On the other hand, I very much enjoyed spending time with my children. I think it was beneficial our relationship. Now, I have started working and have the same dilema as you. Either choice will be stressful, you will just have to way your pros and cons. good luck!

My daughter was in kindergarten last year and I had the same problem. I didn't know what to do. Well, my choice was actually made for me because there was no way we could afford for me to quit working or work less with less money. Thankfully, Denton ISD now has Extended School Days. My daughter was in this last year and she loved it. First of all, there was never homework in Kindergarten. Second of all, if there is they work on it at extended day (that's what they did with the older kids there that had homework). It is $125 per month which isn't bad at all compared to a sitter or day care. She doesn't have to get on a bus or van and go anywhere which is good. I don't know what school district you are in, but if they have extended school days, you should really look into it.

Good Luck,
S.

Go with the kids, and budget- you've probably got more $$ coming in than you think & more going out than needs to. I alway recommend www.DaveRamsey.com & his book The Total Money Make Over. Both you & hubby have to be on board to make this work, but it creates a much stronger family & much more security, as money goes.

D

Only you know your own comfort zone when it comes to finances. Sometimes the stress of budgeting is much worse than having the extra time with your kids, as horrible as that sounds. Other people are more stressed about getting home only in time to eat, do homewoark, bathe and get the kids to bed. They feel they aren't able to spend enough quality time with the child once they are home and that stresses them even more.

Know this, a lot of women work 8-5+ and they have great relationships with their kids and spend quality time with them and are very happy. Sometimes your house won't get clean or you'll have to have take out or do a lot of frozen meals to save on cooking time, but there are shortcuts to things that would take away time from your kids. The more organized you are, the better that all works out usually. Also, you could use some of the extra income to hire a housekeeper to come in twice a month so you wouldn't have to worry about the deep cleaning if you decided to work more.

My mom worked two jobs as a single parent when I was a child until I was 9 years old. I don't remember ever feeling neglected or unhappy because she had a great caregiver for me and when we were together, we had a lot of wonderful quality time and she always made things fun. I'm sure she was worn out but I can't remember a single time where she made me feel like hanging out with me was a burden or that she'd rather be doing something else. Not only that, but she was an immaculate housekeeper and a gourmet cook. I to this day don't know how she did it. I'm certainly not my mother's daughter when it comes to stuff like that. ;-)

You asked specifically about homework and I can say kindergarten homework is not usually all that time consuming. In fact, homework wasn't time consuming for my daughter until 2nd grade, and even then, you're talking like 30-40 minutes. I know as they get older, it takes more time, but if you plan well, you usually have time to help with homework and play with your other kids. In our house, bath time is fun-time so even though that's a chore, we count that as quality time cause the kids love it and we try to make it fun.

Being home with your kids is definitely a blessing if you can do it in my opinion. If I didn't get to work out of my house, I can't say that I wouldn't quit to be home more with my kids 'cause I don't think I could handle the commute or working in an office since I've been working at home for so long. But you have to ask yourself which would stress you out more. Not having the extra money and putting a temporary hold on any career advancement to be at home more with your kids? Or having more money, possibly advancing your career, but spending less time at home?

Only you know what your comfort levels are and what will truly make you happy. Good luck on making the right call! :-)

I would go with the kids if you can however, I have to say that if your child is in the HEB school district at least at our school there was homework EVERY night in Kindergarten. I don't regret it nor would I change a thing but it was time consuming at times. Just thought I would share...