Kindergarten Readiness - Maineville,OH

Updated on May 06, 2010
H.S. asks from Kings Mills, OH
38 answers

While recently at a preschool field trip with my daughter, I was at a table eating while discussing kindergarten with other moms, and was shocked at how many of the mothers there were discussing not sending their child this fall, but waiting a year because they're "not sure" they're ready for it.... As a child, if someone had a September birthday, it would be a consideration to hold off a year. It seems like times are changing drastically, and people are not sending 5 year olds to kindergarten? These children I know have EARLY birthdays. March, April... including my daughter who turned 5, six days ago. I can see if there was a speech delay, or other development issues, however, why not get started in school? I was never considering not sending her, and now I wonder if she'll be in school with mostly 6 year olds? I certainly don't like that idea, but she's 5, and that means kindergarten to me. These children who aren't being sent appear to be levels ahead of my daughter yet they're going to stay at home with mom and do preschool for another year. Any advise? Am I the one missing something? We're already registered..

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K.S.

answers from Cincinnati on

It is my opinion and been my experience (I have three boys, all in school, all were ready and started when they were supposed to. Their birthdays are May, December and October.) that if a child is ready - emotionally, socially and academically - to go to school at the time the school outlines (cut off date for five yrs. old), then that child should go. Holding a child back because a parent wants them to be the oldest, biggest, best is not in the child's best interest, but is done to comfort the parents. Don't forget, often holding a child back from starting kindergarten results in a 19 yr. old senior in HS, which brings on other issues at that time.

However, if there is a reason - a delay, social/emoitonal issues, etc. - that make starting late a good idea, by all means, it should be considered. Often, you can have the kiddos evaluated by the school district (teachers, school counselors/psychologists) to get some input to the decision making process.

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L.A.

answers from Austin on

Ugh! Parents are so funny.

They are so afraid their children will not do well in kindergarten? What on earth do they think is going to happen there? They learn to sit, listen, keep their hands to their sides, walk in a line, and recognize letters, learn a little reading and a little basic math.. Good Grief.

Most of these kids can use any remote control, work on and or play on the computer, electronic games, and cell phones,

I cannot always do all of that..without a kindergartners help.

If YOUR child is ready send her. I cannot imagine holding our child back and she was also one of the youngest all the way through school.

By 3rd grade it all evens out.

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B.W.

answers from Minneapolis on

I hate this trend, I don't think it helps kids out at all. My oldest son turned 5 in June and went to Kindergarten in September. He's now at the end of 2nd grade and thriving. He has some kids in his class who were held back by their parents who have already turned 9! In 2nd grade! And not even the end of 2nd grade, some kids were 9 by Christmas.

If your daughter is ready, send her. There is no reason to hold her back, and I really do hate this trend. She won't be with mostly 6yr old, there will be brand new 5yr olds, and almost 6yr olds, and likely quite a few 7yr olds whose parents held them back. It won't affect her, she will do great!

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M.R.

answers from Columbus on

No you are not missing anything, except that holding back a child who has a delay is even more damaging than it is to a typical kid. The data is so clear. Retention and holding back do not help kids an can cause a mulititude of issues down the road. Not the least of which is older high school kids are more likely to use drugs, drop out, or have contact with the juvinile justice system. This trend is truly hurting kids, I meet them all the time as an educational advocate. Children held back because they are "not ready" who are permenantly delayed in reading because they ran out of time for intervention before the window of opportunity closed (between 8-9) because they got started way too late.

Read about it at www.wrightslaw.com- look under Retention along the left side of the page.

M.

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D.T.

answers from Indianapolis on

I think many people are nuts these days. They want their kid to be the oldest for some reason (better in sports since they're taller, first to drive among friends, be older when going to college, etc). All silly reasons, IMO, to hold a child back a year. Going to college when 17 is no big deal - in many countries, and even certain cultures here in the US, you get married at 17 so certainly a 17 year old about to turn 18 can handle living in a dorm and getting himself to class on time!

All my kids have summer birthdays - July and August. The cutoff date in IN is Sept 1 so that is why Sept birthday kids wait a year. My son's birthday is mid-July. It was NUTS his kindergarten year. He started on time, right after he turned 5. However, he was in class with 7 YEAR OLDS by the end of the kindergarten year (kids with April/May/June birthdays)! NUTS. I hated it. His TEACHER hated it. I'm sorry, but 7 year olds are in 2ND GRADE, not kindergarten! My son is now 7 and in 2nd grade. His teacher told me it's been getting worse and worse... after 20 years of teaching kindergarten she was about to quit and get a job at a preschool. She teaches kindergarten because she likes 5-6 year olds - not 6-7 year olds. I just don't understand why so many people can't follow the rules. If more people stopped holding their kids back, the teachers wouldn't have to deal with a 1-2 age range in the classroom -- that is disruptive to them and hard to teach because of the difference in maturity at those ages.

In many states, the cut-off date is Oct, Nov or even the end of Dec (following calendar year) so it's very common for 4 year olds to be in kindergarten and turn 5 during the school year. These kids do fine. Heck, most kids are in a full-day preschool program due to working parents before starting kindergarten so surely they can handle a full day at kindergarten. (we have full day K here). We all know that young kids learn best - so make your kid wait until he's older to start school? I just don't understand that at all.

Anyways... send your daughter. She's 5. She's ready. The kindergarten teacher will expect her to act like, well, a 5 year old! That means working on issues like standing in line, sharing, sitting still and getting alone well with others. Kindergarten teachers dont' expect those things to be mastered before starting school - that is what kindergarten is for.

When my son went to kindergarten, I was expecting the worse. He was the youngest (by far) and had soem developmental delays. We later found out he had ADHD, anxiety issues and Asperger's... guess what? He thrived in kindergarten! He did very well, and continues to do very well. He often complains that his classmates are so much older than him but we just explained the reasoning - we sent him on time and didn't hold him back like other parents did with their children.

My oldest daughter will turn 5 at the end of July. She's signed up for kindergarten and is really excited about it. She's ticked that one of her best friends at preschool won't be at kindergarten, though, because he mom is holding her back a year (a May birthday!!). Our youngest has a mid-August birthday and will go to kindergarten on-time, too.

ADDED: I just read through some comments... a few people have said "no one ever regretted delaying their child but some regret sending early". What a crock!! I know several people who totally regret holding their kids back a year once their kids were in school a few years. I know many teens who HATE being so much older than their classmates. I haven't talked with a single parent, though, who regretted sending their kids on time! Don't make generalizations.

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J.F.

answers from Columbus on

So - this might be a side note, but I see a few people posting this...... full day kindergarten.... so - most kids are in pre-school for a full day -yes? so why would you want to switch them to a half day in K then back to full day once 1st grade starts???? They are already use to full days somewhere, wouldn't this just confuse them? Now to answer your question. I believe some kids are not ready, but I also believe that some parents are just scared.... it never hurt a child to have to try (life doesn't hand you anything, you have to work for it) .. putting them in a year late, yes, they might pick up on things quicker, but that's because they are suppose to be in 1st... not just starting. I think most kids are ready.. the parents aren't.. just my 2 cents

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L.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Seems to me like these mom's have an unnatural fear that their kids won't be successful, or at the "top" of their kindergarten class?

I know that preschool has become the new kindergarten, and there is some pressure on kids and parents to be "prepared" for kindergarten. But I agree with you, except for some obvious developmental issue or a particularly late birthday, why would you not send a 5 year old to kindergarten?

I wouldn't want my son to be 5 and in the minority with a kindergarten class full of 6 year olds... that's weird and concerning to me. My son is 4 and will be in preschool next year, but I imagine we'll be dealing with this next year?

Interested in your responses.

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V.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

My son is 4 and turns 5 at the end of September after school begins. He is speech delayed (does speech therapy) and SUPER SHY & cautious! I'm sending him to a Jr. Kindergarten program this Fall. He will start Kindergarten at 5, and turn 6 a month later. If he wasn’t in speech therapy and socially & emotionally immature compared to his peers, I would be sending him this year. My daughter started Kindergarten at age 4 and turned 5 in October and we’ve NEVER had a problem!

I've never really put much thought into what other parents are doing with their kids and I don’t go around telling people why I’m starting my son next Fall. I guess all I'm concerned about is my own. Each parent knows what is best for their child and you know what is best for yours. If you had every intention of sending her this Fall then you should. Don't get caught up in what decisions others are making with their children. I'm sure there is truth to what everyone has responded with but in the end the decision YOU make will be the right one. Anyway that is why I'm waiting =-)

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T.P.

answers from Cleveland on

Speaking from experience, my son's birthday is in May. His preschool teacher and my husband and I agreed that he was not ready due to maturity. He was most definitely prepared academically and socially. It was a difficult decision for me as my best friend's son whose birthday is a day after went to kindergarten.
My point is that each child is different. Everyone needs to do what is best for them and their family. No one has ever regretted waiting to send their child, but some have regretted not delaying their entry to kindergarten. Only you know what is best for your daughter.

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B.L.

answers from Jacksonville on

Oh, honey. I often think there's something wrong with the mothers who talk like that. Perhaps they are co-dependent on their little children. Don't second guess yourself. If you think your child is ready, by all means, send her to kindergarten. She will be with plenty of five-year olds.

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C.C.

answers from Fresno on

I don't know either. It completely baffles me. I think it became popular when people (dads?) wanted to hold their sons back a year for sports reasons - i.e. they could be bigger and stronger and make the varsity team as freshman. I think that is a crazy reason to hold your kid back academically, but somehow it caught on. In my humble opinion, I think it's just selling your child short, plain and simple. I can understand holding a child back who is clearly not ready and has a learning disability or some other problem that would make them struggle, but holding back a normal kid is just weird in my book.

That said, my daughter will be turning 5 in June and actually was skipped ahead a year academically. She was home schooled for a while by my mom, a retired teacher, so when it was time to go to pre-K, she was reading by herself and doing her big sister's 2nd grade math. The pre-K teacher moved her into Kinder and she has done fine. The biggest challenge was that it's a full-day Kinder and my daughter was still taking naps. Most days she comes home and takes a quick nap before starting her homework, but other than that she has been fine. She's doing well academically (straight A's last quarter), and has made plenty of friends. The teacher says she's good to go for 1st grade next year. So... we're sending her. Of course people are horrified (horrified!) that we started her in Kinder at age 4, and furthermore are not holding her back next year - but honestly, if a kid's ready, they're ready, and who am I to sell my little girl short because of what other parents think should be popular?

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S.B.

answers from Canton on

I find this fascinating. Had same issue with my 5 year old last year, born in July. He is in Kindergarten and doing fantastic. Now I am faced with something similar with my second son. Well he will be 5 in October, cut off is September 30. The kid is absolutely smart and loves to work. He has some social/emotional issues that is to say he doesnt like to play around the "big kids", although as soon as he gets to know them he is fine. I am seriously thinking of having him tested for early entrance, for a 3 day kindergarten program. He will have the extra 2 days with mommy. Then next year do the all day everyday program. He will be in preschool all day everyday anyway so why not let him get ahead with his reading etc. I guess the point I am making is that your daughter will do just fine. Schools should be epuipped to handle young 5s and older 5s. K is for 5 year olds not 7s. It is unfair to the young kids when parents hold them back to make them "smarter and wiser or mature" They will mature in K, that is what K is for . It is a precursor to 1st grade. Each parent knows their child but please do not allow yourself to be second guessed by apprehensive parents. Sometimes even the extra year does nothing for the kid. If he is shy he is just shy. period!

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J.C.

answers from Fort Wayne on

No, I completely agree with sending 5 year olds. I can see if they turn 5 late in the summer, but my daughter turned 5 August 8th and started kindergarten a couple of weeks later and has done great!

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C.T.

answers from Dallas on

My son is in K this year and his birthday is in March. He went to preschool when he was 4 which helped him in most every way prepare for K, especially socially. My youngest has a July birthday and while I have considered the idea of him waiting a year, I really don't want to. I don't want him being 6 before he begins K. However, if his birthday were in August and I thought that he just didn't seem ready, I would wait a year. I guess what I'm saying is do what is best for your child. Most of the other kids in her class will be around her age.

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B.H.

answers from Detroit on

I have a onerelative and a friend who are teachers. And from what I hear Kindergartin is now like 1st grade in many schools in relation to academics. I noticed that my son's kindergartin class does not have any toys like the preschool classroom.

I believe that with more families that have both parents holding down full-time jobs many kids are in a daycare and preschool program and they are considered pros by the time they get to kindergartin in the ways of how to behave in a classroom setting and many are functioning according to age levels. Even if your child has a developmental delay I don't think it's a good idea to keep him or her at home. They have got to get prepared.

I would not keep my child at home even if I believed he was behind kindergartin classwork unless I was prepared to spend the day bringing him up to speed. How are they going to catch up if they stay home?

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S.K.

answers from San Diego on

It Depends on the CHILD
I have an older son who is in a crapy headstart/HOLDING TANK! He started at 5 didnt do well and I took him out in october because he was having such a hard time. (couldnt stay awake the whole day) Couldnt consentrate and had a few behavior problems. I guess he was not mature enough. I Kept him home and did Hooked on Phonics with him. At 6 he was ready for kinder.

My second child also a Boy was still 4 (for a few days) when he started . l Hes thriving! And was very ready for Kinder.

Please do what is best for the individual child.

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M.G.

answers from Chicago on

I think there's some worry that a child won't be ready, and once they've started there's no turning back. My uncle waited until his son was 6 to start because he felt he wasn't ready to go. It was a great decision.

If you feel your child is ready to start, and he's of age, then don't think twice about it. The age is set a five because that's when MOST kids are developmentally ready. Not all kids are.

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S.D.

answers from Indianapolis on

I have a little inside info on this because my mom has an early-ed degree, and her masters thesis was about this very thing, she also taught early-el for 30 years and just retired. All the science says that it can be detrimental to start a child in school and then hold them back later on, while waiting a year is never detrimental and if they are too advanced for the class, skipping a year can be a major ego boost. Since this wouldn't be "early" for your child, if you and your child's preschool teacher say she's ready, then go for it. But I would trust any parent's gut that says their child isn't ready yet. So many kids are started too soon - especially boys - and they do ok, but could have been really great if held back a year. But many never fit in as well as they would have if they had waited another year before starting.

None of the preschools around me are full-day unless they are day-care programs. Daycare programs don't teach any more in a full-day than a half-day program, there is just more play time and open-learning time. So, it's not really comparable to a full-day kindergarten where kids are expected to learn all day with a couple breaks.

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M.H.

answers from Detroit on

Hi H.
I come from England where children start school at age 4, my niece turned four at the end of June and went to kindergarten that September and she thrived, so I was astounded and very concerned to learn that my eldest son would be almost 6 when he started kindergarten because of when his birthday fell (early january).
My youngest will be 5 in August and will be going to kindergarten in September, and he is more than ready academically and socially/emotionally. I think you really don't know how well your child will do in kindergarten unless you actually send them there and give them that chance. I really don't see the sense in holding a child back just because of their age, all children develop differently and the kindergarten teachers are used to a huge spectrum of abilities within the class. I truly don't understand why anyone would hold their child back a year unless they have been advised to do so by a professional.
I'm sure your daughter will still have mostly five year olds in her class and it sounds like you had wanted to send her but you're second-guessing yourself because of the other moms. Go with what you think is right, don't be influenced by others.

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A.M.

answers from Cleveland on

I heard the same thing from a mom friend, when I told her I was thinking of sending my daughter (who turns 5 in early August). She told me that in our school system they prefer more mature kindergartners. She said everyone is holding their kids back a year and most of the children will be turning six in kindergarten. She proceeded to tell me that my daughter would lag behind in academics and in sports because she would be a year younger. My daughter has had two years of preschool, very bright, social, and tall for her age. I felt that both we and preschool have prepared her fully for kindergarten, so we decided to let the school decide whether she was ready for kindergarten. She did have to apply for early entry because she misses cut off by a day, and we are awaiting the decision of the school system. I think most school systems have kindergarten readiness testing in the spring, so if you feel she's ready I would register her, and see what the say. I do think with full day kindergarten required, and with the increased amount of school work these days, that may be why people would opt to hold their child. I would go with your mommy instinct and if you feel confident she's ready, then send her.

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K.M.

answers from Fort Wayne on

I think this is becoming more common in my area due to the new full day kindergarten ruling. We no longer have a choice of 1/2 or full day so many of the parents are postponing kindergarten the extra year. My daughter turned 5 in April and will be attending K this year as she is ready and needs to have the challenge. I do worry about the older kids being in her class as she is small and has a few social issues. However, after speaking with her teachers at the preschool I have decided that going on to K is in her best interest.

It comes down to how you feel your child will do in the situation. I wouldn't base my decision on any one else and I would absolutely (and did) bring concerns to the K teacher about this situation. The teacher will be able to set your mind at ease and offer real suggestions on the transition.

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K.B.

answers from Cincinnati on

For us, we did Kindergarten at 5 y/o. He had a horrible time adjusting. He could have still needed naps, he couldn't keep up with the work and we had to do a lot of stuff at home to help keep him up in class. He lacked in emotional maturity and had some fine motor skills. He was already reading before entering kindergarten, which gave us time to work on writing (they wanted him writing 3-5 sentences about a picture that he drew). He has fine motor skill deficit so this took some work, and we also found out that he had a very hard time of getting his thoughts out of his head--by the end of the year he could do it verbally and then copy the written sentence. It was a LONG year for both of us. Maturity has helped ALOT this year. I love first grade and he is right with his peers on most things!

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L.B.

answers from St. Joseph on

If your child knows their basic abc's, can count to 10, know their shapes and colors and write their name they are ready for Kindergarten. Our preschool also taught my daughter her telephone number, address, how to tie her shoes, in addition to basic nursery rhymes, songs, and stories. Frankly, I think the mom's holding their kids back is a twofold problem. 1) they are unwilling to let go of their child and admit they are ready for school (because they themselves are not ready to let their child go to school), and 2) the school systems are getting so bad that any kid that lags behind literally gets left behind...if they are a year older it makes it harder to do that. Frankly, I would get her ready and if she's not, there are always after school programs to help kids catch up. You can get the fun workbooks and work on simple things over the summer and make a fun reward program for her (take her to the park or swimming for every 5 or 10 pages) she does in the workbook. Most of the workbooks are simple, colorful and fun. Make your learning with her a fun game and she will relish it and ask for more...my kids always do.

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J.H.

answers from Elkhart on

It just depends on the parents. Maybe the moms aren't ready to let go just yet. We waited for my son because his birthday was the end of June & the cutoff was Aug 1st. The preschool also recommended to wait because of his social skills. I am surprised at how many send the kids who just turn five. Most of my son's classmates have birthdays at the end of July and early August. In our area people are sending them early because it's essentially free child care all day.
In the end it comes down to your choice and I wouldn't worry too much about what the other parents are doing.

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A.R.

answers from Cincinnati on

My daughter turns 5 on Aug 31 and we were preparing to send her to kindergarten in September. Our school district recently accounced that they have changed the starting date to from Aug 1 to Sept 30th because they think that the kids need to be older and will not be mature enough to start kindergarten. My daughter has been in preschool and she is very ready for kindergarten. I can't believe the school is keeping her out while I was preparing to send her!!! I am now sending her to private school so that she can go to kindergarten at age 5. Unfortunately most of the mom's at my daughters preschool are talking about holding their kids back until they are age 6 to start. I can understand hold kids back if they are truly not ready but if they are then why not send them?

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C.V.

answers from Kansas City on

I think you are just fine sending her.My Son (now almost 13) turned 5 in June and started school in July,and he is advanced!Now I will say there are some that are not as mature.We are struggling with that right now,I have a son turning 5 in July and seems very socially immature and is extremely shy!However he is not delayed,so the school suggested sending him to summer school and seeing how that goes.Now I could also see it beneficial to a child that was delayed to go ahead and start kindergarten because early intervention is important and the schools have special programs,teachers,and classes to help them!A child has to be 5 by July 31st to go to Kindergarten that year in the state of MO.I am not sure what state people live in talking about kids turning 5 after school starts and "was" going to send them!And I am sure that if the school finds a reason why they shouldn't start they would tell the parent(s)!I don't know about your district but ours does a kindergarten screening when you go for enrollment.And I am sorry to say,but frankly a lot of people saying that their child is not ready has nothing to do with the child and more to do with the parent!It's the Mother that's not ready!How do they know if the child is "ready?!"In fact I have a cousin that didn't send her Son to Kindergarten last year because "he" (she wasn't ready,he's the baby!) and she regretted it!Now I am not saying that there aren't kids that aren't ready,but I am saying Parents need to let the schools help them to decide that and quit being selfish!If I was to think of myself only,there's no way I'd send my son (who is the baby!) who is immature this year!

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B.P.

answers from Cleveland on

Wow! Some of these answers are pretty harsh and honestly seem pretty uninformed. Every child and situation is different. Characterizing parents who decide to keep their child back a year as "scared" or "unable to let go" is a little unfair.

Your gut will tell you what's right, but I think that if I were in the same position I would probably be leaning towards keeping her back.

My daughter is only 14 mos., so I haven't really hit this roadblock yet, but I can say from experience teaching kindergarten that full day kinder can be really difficult for some kids to adapt to. I really depends on your child's attention span and your school district's program. I have to say that I have a bias against full day. The school district that I was in had a very rigorous kindergarten curriculum that was reading and math intensive with little time for art, music, P.E., or even learning centers. It required a long attention span and excellent listening skills to keep up. It was (in my opinion) not a realistic expectation for a five year old. The other teachers and I really worked to pull in as many engaging activities as we could, but most days the two hours after lunch time were lost time because the kids were burned out and falling asleep. That said, we did have students who ate up all the activities and were ready for more challenge, but they were pretty rare.

I also agree with Sarah D's statement that full day preschool is not the same as full day kinder. Unless they are affiliated with a day care center most preschools (at least here in the U.S.) are 2 to 4 hour programs. So it would not usually be a transition from full day preschool to half day kindergarten then back to full day in first grade.

The point I am making is that, right or wrong, some kindergarten programs are really more appropriate for 6 year olds. I think that characterizing parents who want to keep their child back an extra year as "scared" is a little unfair.

I was always a little bothered that the parents pushed so hard for full day kindergarten. It always seemed like they wanted the longer day more for the scheduling convenience and less because they felt their kids were ready.

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M.G.

answers from Philadelphia on

If you feel your daughter is ready then you should send her. If you have any questions I would talk to the principal, teacher or parents of other kids in the school she will be going to. A lot of people hold their kids back now because many states have revised the K standards and the things we used to learn in Kindergarten are now the things they expect the kids to know going in. I have also read studies that it is hard for kids (especially boys) to catch up once they have fallen behind in such things are reading and that the young 5s are now at a disadvantage in Kindergarten. It's really a personal decision and if you think she's ready then go for it. Really, the worst that can happen is that she would be held back a year and that's much easier to bear at 5 or 6 than it is later on.

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J.B.

answers from Indianapolis on

You already have a ton of responses but here's my 2 cents anyway. My 6 year old son (to be 7 this June) is repeating kindergarten right now. In hindsight, we shouldn't have sent him last year when he was 5. This decision should be made based on the child and his or her readiness. However, I highly recommend that you find out, if you can, the ages of the other kids that will be entering the class. I think our son would have had an easier time last year if he hadn't been the youngest boy in his class. We didn't realize when we enrolled him that most parents in our son's school had a tendency to keep their kids at home longer. His preschool teacher thought he was ready and so did we. He probably would have done fine in a class with other 5 year olds but some in his class turned 7 during that school year. There's a big difference between 5 year olds and 7 year olds. And this year he is thriving and is a leader in his class. Much better than struggling along after his older classmates for the next 12 years if we hadn't repeated.

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S.H.

answers from Detroit on

This has been a very difficult decision for me as well. My daughter will turn 5 on Nov. 30, and in Michigan, the cutoff is Dec. 1, which is one of the few states that are so late. In most states, there would not be a decision to be made (and that would make this so much easier! haha). She has had a half year of pre-school when she was 3 and she is finishing another 1/2 year of pre-school now, at 4. She absolutely loves school, is very social and bright and would qualify for regular Kindergarten... however, our district offers a young 5's Kindergarten program, and then a regular Kindergarten program and they try very hard to get all of the Sep-Oct-Nov (and some July/Aug) kids in this young 5's... which also makes the regular Kindergarten classes overall older. If I decide to put her a regular Kindergarten class... she will be up to a year and a half younger than the older kids... which is a big age difference at this point in their life! I have read different research about this issue, and the most useful information I have gotten was... the most important factor (outside of are they ready for Kindergarten)... is the age gap in the class. And this will vary from class to class, district to district. The older kids generally fair better... especially seen when they get to 4th and 5th grade and beyond. I think we will give young 5's a try... and switch her half way through if I don't think it is the right fit. Or, I will just put her right in to first grade the year after... so, even though the school will say that you can't do this... you can. I just want my daughter to love going and being in school... the learning will come as long as she enjoys being there :-) Good luck to all you mom's with this difficult decision!! I'm sure whatever decision you decide will be the right one for you and your child :-)

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L.M.

answers from New York on

My daughter started kindergarten at age 4. And yes she was 100% ready. In 1st and 2nd grade she did have some trouble with reading, but we helped her through it, and by 5th grade she was one of the top 5 readers in a class of over 60. All children have difficulty with certain concepts at one point or another and need some additional help.

I kept hearing more and more about how the school systems want children to be able to read and write before entering kindergarten. I think this is ridiculous. We pay a lot of taxes, the schools should be educating our children (yes we need to help, we all want our children to suceed).

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C.W.

answers from Cincinnati on

I never considered holding my oldest son back. His was a September birthday too. I was told in the first grade he was more than ready to be in first grade. The K school he went to wanted to hold him back. In thinking back it was because all they did was cut and paste which he was already doing math and some reading so he was bored. Since your child is in preschool I would say they are more than ready. He never went to preschool. I taught him. I have workd with children who were held back and some who did and didn't attend preschool I never noticed a big difference in holding back., They didn't seem any brighter or more mature for holding back. I will say the only think about starting that young Iis it makes it difficult to get a job full time at 17. They cannot be on insurance at a company. My son had to wait until he did turn 18 to find work full time which made it hard since he already had started a family. Baby was born in July. But that's another issue entirely.

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H.A.

answers from Dallas on

My son is a June birthday. He's in Kindergarten this year - but I ran into this some too -- Moms pushing holding them back, or having them take Kindergarten twice. I just ignored it. You know your child and what they are ready for. And I certainly am not the type to do it just because it's the current fad. Doesn't sound like you are either. ;) My son has done great - one of the first to be reading all of his sight words, high marks in everything. Nearing the end of Kindergarten and he's reading full sentences, full stories, no issues.

I will say - we were AMAZED and intimidated by how much kindergarten has changed since we went to school. Day one orientation the teachers told us, what they teach as kindergarten now was first grade 10 years ago. Not "close to" or "a lot like" -- it was. Since my son didn't go to pre-school I panicked worrying if he would be able to keep up with kids that came preped for this. He hasn't had an issue.

I had heard, like another Mom mentioned, people holding younger boys back -- so they won't be the smallest, or last to hit puberty or for sports advantages. Maybe in your circle of Moms the truth is not that the little girls aren't ready for school -- but that Mom isn't ready for them to go.

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A.H.

answers from Toledo on

I see others have made mention of the new "all day everyday" program being a culprit for this thinking. If there is a half day or part time option for a Kindergarten program I think that is wonderful! Some children are able to handle the all day school transition, while others still need a little extra time.
I believe that the parents should have the choice to send or not send their children to a full day program. Why do we expect 5 year olds to hold a full time "job"........??? Then we still expect them to behave appropriately outside of their "job" time. They are tired! Many 4 & 5 year olds still need a nap. I think we push too hard for them to be more, do more and to adapt quickly.
I have a newly turned five year old son who will begin preschool in the Fall on a part time schedule. If you have questions about your options contact your superintendent of schools. The half time option is not always publicized, however, if there is no state mandate in effect for your state then you do have choices. You can also contact the state dept for your state to find out the hourly requirements for a kindergarten student. In many states kindergarten is still optional.
It really comes down to the fact that as parents we know our children. We should do what is in their best interest! And hopefully we are given choices along the way. I agree that to delay a school start for things like athletics, and age advantages is absurd. Parents need to do what is BEST for their children so that these children grow up age appropriately and well-adjusted!
Sounds like you are on the right path to starting kindergarten for your daughter. Good Luck, and enjoy her being five ~ as well as all the changes that this age brings!

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N.B.

answers from Toledo on

Do they test kids in your district for kindergarten readiness? My granddaughter was tested and found to be not ready in several categories. We were shocked to hear it, since she had spent 2 years in preschool, but they expect so much of them in school now. There was a difference of opinion among certain family members who shall remain nameless, but the end result was she spent another year in a different preschool, and went to kindergarten this year. She's doing great, and is more than ready to move on and be successful. I would contact the school, and ask for some guidelines. They can help you decide what to do.

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S.L.

answers from Boca Raton on

My son missed the cutoff by 5 weeks (born at the end of July). I AM considering holding him for another year. He is currently the YOUNGEST in his preschool. He knows what he needs to know, but I might keep him and let him enjoy another year of being a kid. Why push him? I don't want him always to be the youngest in his class. I think I prefer to let him have the extra confidence that comes from being the oldest and already knowing everything. My pediatrician said that most parents of BOYS keep them home the extra year to mature - she said most boys who are born in May and June and taking the extra year now. That means he will have the extra year at home before college too.

M.M.

answers from Boston on

I don't think you're missing anything--in fact, you sound like you're right on target! If you are comfortable with her starting school, trust your instincts. You know your girl, and if she's ready, she's ready. The calendar means little--if a child is ready for the challenge of school, age doesn't matter.

"Red Shirting" may help a few kids, but for the most part, it's not going to turn Johnny into a genius or a super-jock. Johnny's still going to be Johnny. Johnny's parents should be sure to pay attention to the developmental gains Johnny makes in comparison to *Johnny*, not the other kids in the class, anyway.

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S.M.

answers from Fort Wayne on

I personally kept my daughter out of Kindergarden until she was 6 yrs. old. I have a cousin that is a teacher and a friend that is a teacher. They both recommend that almost all kids could benefit from staying home the extra year. I am very happy that I kept her out the extra year. She loves school. Not one behavior problem ever. Also she is learning much faster and with more ease than the younger kids. One of my friends put her daughter in at 5 and has some behavior problems, and she is not learning as easy. I say though if you think your child and you are ready for school at 5 then send her. You know her better than anyone else. So do what you think is best for your child! By the way my daughters birthday was only 6 days before the cut off. So she would have been one of the younger kids in her class.

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