Kindergarten Sooner or Later?

He can't start kindergarten until he is 5, so it wouldn't be until next year anyway. Then they question would be whether or not to hold him back a year. I'd say wait until closer to then to decide if he is ready.

I would wait! My sister is wishing she had done so - her little boy had a frustrating year of Kindergarten because he wasn't ready to sit still. Now the teacher is telling her that her little boy should repeat kindergarten. It'd be a much better experience to have him start later, I think!

Ask his teachers to see what they think. Also its not uncommon for kids to start a year later (somewhere between 5 and 6 is normal).

I'm assuming you are talking about Kindergarten for next year because he is only 3 now. As a director of a local school I am a firm believer in meeting each child where they are at and not rushing them on to the next step because it's time or because of comparison of a sibling. There's really no need to worry about his pacing with your older child. In fact, the distance might be better because he won't compare himself as much. There are no hard and fast dogmas for this situation, but I usually suggest giving a summer b-day boy the gift of another year of preschool before K. They gain confidence and wisdom as they are allowed to blossom in preschool. Good luck!

Let me first start my saying I am so happy to hear you are comfortable saying that your son is not a child genius. It seems that more often than not, I read on moms posting how so far ahead their child is in the learning curve. It sounds like your child is having fun being a 'child.'

Only you (and maybe your preschool teacher) will know exactly if your child is ready to start kindergarten right away, or if an additional year of preschool would be beneficial. I would not be too concerned about the distance between him and his older brother. I think it is wise to recognize that your son can't sit still for long periods of time. If he starts kindergarten early and is always being told by the teacher to sit still or pay attention, he might start to a negative association with school at an early age.

Best to you .

I am in a similiar situation. My son turns 4 on September 2nd, and next year I could test him in early to start when he has just turned 5 or wait another year. I figure I am going to see how he progresses until the spring and see if I think he is ready then. I was an August baby and started school when I had just turned 5 and actually liked being younger (except when it came time to drive) and did very well in school. I think you will just have to see what the next few months brings. My son is also the same size so I understand that concern as well.

Hi S., P

Please wait two more years until you put him in!

I totally agree with the other moms that have seen the younger boys struggle. I have two boys (July 14, May 17 birthdays) and we waited until both were 6 before starting kindergarten (we did start our oldest in kindergarten when he turned 5 that summer, but we repeated it the next year since it was such a struggle for him). It was absolutely the best thing we did!!!

I, too, questioned every mom, teacher, school staff I could whether or not to put them in at age 5. Every single one (even the elementary school principle who had taught kindergarten for 12 years) said we should wait if we were at all unsure. Think about it at the other end too, do you want your just turned 17 year old boy heading off to college? Or, would you rather have him 18?

It may be hard to wait to put him in now, but a lot more tough (for him!) to have to potentially stay back in the next year or two because he is struggling. Wait and let him be the best he can be. Best of luck to you! B.

That is a really hard decision. Have you spoken with the teachers at his school? What about his pediatrician? I used to teach Kindergarten and sometimes the younger boys start out fairly immature for the group, but then catch up in the end. There are honestly pros and cons to doing both things. If I were in your shoes, I would place him into Kindergarten the year he is supposed to go into Kindergarten unless you see some extremely slow developmental, social, physical delays. Oh...and NO Kindergarten boys are interested in sitting still. I teach 3rd grade now and 3rd grade boys don't sit still either! :o) Hope this helps.

Hi, S.!

I was born on September 27 and was put into Kindergarten when I was 4. Academically, I was ready to go, but socially was another story. I never fit in with my peers and was painfully shy throughout my entire school career. I loved school, teachers, learning, and everything else related to school, but never figured out how to deal with other children well. Part of this was from my shy personality, but part of it was from not being ready for school socially.

As a teacher, I see children who are 4 or just turning 5 at the beginning of Kindergarten all the time who struggle and often end up being put into special education to help them with their social and/or academic skills. I have seen this happen to boys more than girls over my years of teaching. Many times, they are just not ready for school and would have benefitted by staying home for another year.

My own son turns 4 on September 7 this year, and I am planning on having him go to two years of preschool or 1 year of preschool and 1 year of pre-K just to make sure he is more ready for school.

I know that you need to do what is best for your family. It sounds like since your son is small for his age and not too interested in sitting still, it would not hurt him to go to another year of preschool. Every child is different, so what works for your older son may not work for your younger son. Whatever you decide, I wish you the best of luck!

Most people that I know that have children with summer birthdays have chosen to wait a year, and are so glad they did. Boys have a tendency to mature slower than girls, but yea it does depend alot on the child. My niece was put in kindergarten the same year she turned 5 and she really struggled in school for a long time. My son has a September birthday and was 2 wks past cutoff, he had to wait. He is a very smart child an thrives in school. I can see that he would of struggled a little if he were able to get in Kindergarten the year he turned 5.
I think its a great idea to have your boy in preschool. This is what I did with my son. 4 is to early for kindergarten. I know the idea of having the kids close in grade is comforting, but its not always the best idea.

my son is an 8/11 baby and he is small for his age. I put him in a pre-k program 5 days a week for 2.5 hours a day. When it came time to sign up for kindergarten, he was just displaying his lack of interest in doing the work and learning what he could. I decided to hold him back for another year. It did mean that him and his brother are 5 years in school apart. We did another year of half day school in a class that had kinders and jr. kinders at a pre-school. He was learning what all the kinders were but without the extra push to have it down to go into 1st grade. At the end of the year I saw that he was not ready for 1st grade and enrolled him in the elementary school as an all day kinder. he was the oldest in his class since he turned 6 on the 11th before school started. Size wise he was in the upper middle and learing he was in the upper level for his class. I saw my son act more as a leader this year and fitting in really well. he really was ready to learn and wanted to be there. he can be a bit shy at times, but he really did not show much of that this year. I am really glad that I did this for him.

to be totally honest, I think you should not focus on the issue of grade distance between your two boys. You really have to focus on what is going to help your son excel in school and be a stronger learner. If you wait until your son is 6 to go to K, he will be one of the older kids in class but not much older than the kids who are born after the cut off dates for the school district. he will be more equal in size with his peers, and he will be more mentally ready for learning. He could have less issues of not understanding or not getting it when it comes to what he needs to know in school. Depending on how your son learns he could be one of the stronger learners in class. As he gets older, giving that learning is not a huge challenge for him, he could have less issues with getting his homework done and getting bad grades resulting in not feeling stupid and not wanting to drop out in high school. okay so that could be worst case but still a point to make.

I guess I am not sure what your drive is to have your boys close together in grades? It is nice to have a break for kids for long periods during the day, That I can understand, believe me. I am just not sure those reasons are enough. Is ther other reasons that I am not understanding?

A few things I asked myself were: If i started him when he was 5 it would give him and his brother 2 years in the same school together rather than one. This would be the only time they would be in school together unless they go to the same college and my oldest is there to become a dr. and has to be in school for 8 years, blah, blah, blah. How will this matter to my kids. They do not have recess or lunches together so other than the occational passing in the hall way to go to specials, does it make that much diffence? Also, if i start my son before he is ready, and I see he is struggling in the first few years, am i willing and ready to fight the school to hold my son back a year to help him be a better learner? That may seem like a crazy thought, but after working with kids all these years, I have seen way to many kids pushed through the system and they are just struggling to learn. 4th grades that cant do things like make change for a dollar (something learned by 2nd grade) trying to learn multiply and divide.

I hope this helps, and good luck.

I thought Kindergarten is for 5 years of age. It's four years now?

Benjamin is way too young for kindergarten. The vast majority of school districts want a child to be 5 yrs old by the 1st of September before they attend kindergarten and they're pretty firm about this date. Other schools may have an cutoff date as late as October 15th, but 5 is the magic age for kindergarter and they need to be 5 before school starts, ie September 1st deadline. Reading and writing starts in kindergarten and reading in earnest comes in the 1st grade. Send Benjamin to preschool. There's a lot of emotional maturity that happens during the 4th year. And the distancing happened when they were born 4 yrs apart. Each boy has their own time, say wit Benjamin and his stister Elisa, they will be 3-4 yrs apart in school as well. It's okay, believe me. My oldest two were 2 yrs apart in school and the youngest was 3 yrs later. They will help each other, watch out for each other. They won't and can't be responsible for each other though. That's on each child. Enjoy the time you have with each of them before they start school fulltime. Life goes by so fast and you don't get more time, once it's gone, it's gone.

At 5, my son was the youngest child in his Kindergarten class. Quite literally everyone else was 6 turning 7 (save one, who turned 6 in september).

So that's one thing to consider (sounds like you are), that the trend is to start school later. So too, he was one of only 4 kids (in a class of 21) who already knew how to read and write (most were working on letter recognition, colors, and following simple instructions..and the 4 who already knew it worked right along side them doing the same work). Most of the kids (by the end of the year) were able to read simple words (cat, bat, sat)...but those were DEFINITELY skills that were not expected. In retrospect, it would have been better to keep him in his Montessori preschool for another year and then jump him into the 1st grade...which if you've already gotten letter recog, might be something to consider if he starts reading this year in preschool.

Another thing, is that regardless of age (as long as they're not in the same grades), none of your children will have much to do with each other in school. There are separate recesses, lunches, & obviously classes. They will have seperate groups of friends. They will also find different things "funny"...which seems to be the key for kids hanging out together on purpose...finding the same things funny.

If he starts K next year then your oldest will be in 3rd. And then if your youngest starts school when she is 5...then it will work out that 8th, 5th, & K. But if you start when he's six then it simply goes 8th, 4th, K (if I'm doing my math right)....with 4 grades difference. Not until your boys are in HS, will it actually make a *possible* difference in their interactions. Freshman-Senior, or Freshman-Junior. So why worry 10 years down the road? The difference between K and third and K and fourth are HUGE...no matter which way you look at it. My sister and I were only a grade level apart, and I *NEVER* saw her in school.

As to not sitting still...that's very very age appropriate. :) Esp. for boys, but for either gender...they're wee ones yet. In a K class of 20 six year olds and 1 five year old ALL of them had problems siting still. That's just part of being young, and teachers compensate for that. Heck. Third graders have issues sitting still. Not usually as much as a 4 year old, or 5 year, or 6 year...but they're 8-9 for goodness sakes. Kids wiggle, bounce, climb, crash, squirm, slide, <grinning> pick an adverb and they do it! Young ones are still learning how their bodies work...older ones just enjoy it.

Even if you register him for K this January (why DO they make us do that???), you can change your mind over the summer. Same token (they won't like it...and it could mean getting placed really far away)...but you can also register him for K over the summer if you change your mind then. Probably safer to register this winter, and then open up a spot for someone on the waitlist if you decide to wait a year.

Hi S.,

Just to say something a little different than everyone else here, I think it really depends on the child. My oldest son will be 5 on August 25th, and I had the same thoughts and concerns a year or more ago that you have now. Two things that I did to help me decide were to look at the "requirements" for kindergarten (including social and emotional levels, as well as motor skills and eagerness to learn, etc.), and assessed my son myself to see if I felt that he met or exceeded the recommended levels. (You can do many searches online to find specific markers to help you in this process.) The other thing I did was talked to his preschool teacher throughout the last school year and listened to what she thought. For us, we both came to the conclusion that my son was ready for kindergarten this year. (Not that it always makes the difference, but my son has also been in preschool for 3 years already.)

It is more common these days for people to wait, especially with boys, but to give a straight "yes" or "no" answer seems a bit silly if you’re not considering the child himself. I suggest that you pay attention to the key markers this school year and make your own assessment towards the end of the year. (And try not to let your want for your sons to be closer in grades sway your opinion.) ;o) I also suggest keeping the communication open with his preschool teacher this year about what your concerns are so she/he can be paying attention and looking for the same markers. I think that will give you your answer. Obviously you don't want to put your son into a situation where he will struggle, or make him have ill feelings towards school right off the bat (and I definitely agree that there's nothing wrong with keeping him out of school for one more year if that’s the case); but at the same time, if he's truly ready, there's no reason to hold him back either.

I hope this information helps. Good luck!

wait another year -- I'm a mid/high school teacher and the I believe on the of the most important things you can do for your kids is to have a great first few years of school. If he is not ready, he's not.

My son's birthday is in Oct, so he'll turn 6 a month into K. He will have the advantage over the younger kids simply by age and having a bit more maturity and experience. Plus, I teach 1/2 time and it's more time for us to have more family time before he enters school and is out of the house almost 8 hours a day for 190 days (ok, 4 for K but you get my point) -- for the next 12 years!

By thinking about the distance from his brother -you know, whatever it is, it is. I have seen WAY too many kids that struggle in school and most of us (teachers I work with) think a lot of it is how the kids did when they were young. Make this year a year to read 1/2 hour a day with him - don't try to get him to read, you simply read, and play as many games (not just sitting games) with him. Go to the thrift store and get board games and let him make up rules/games fro that. Any activity you do can be a game - find blue, find something that starts with b-- you know what mean.
Have fun with him this year...they grow up way to fast!
by the way, what school does your family go to?

I encourage you to to give your son the extra year to mature. I was faced with the same decision when my son,born in July, was in preschool. Academically, he was more than ready, but his social and emotional development were not there yet. His preschool teachers brought up something that I don't think others have mentioned.

Socially, as a younger child, he tended to be a follower, not a leader. That's usually okay in elementary school. His preschool director pointed out that by middle school, being a follower could easily lead to trouble. By giving him the extra year to mature, we would also be giving him the opportunity to be a leader. And, if he wasn't a leader, he would be more likely to have the maturity to avoid following someone who was making bad choices. We didn't regret waiting the extra year. Our son just graduated college this year. He was president of his fraternity, and captain of his sports team.

You will never be sorry if you wait a year!! My son's birthday is August 23rd...I sent him to preschool for one more year (luckily our preschool had a kindergarten enrichment program - which offered a bit more "challenge" than preschool) - So then he started kindergarten just after turning 6. He is going into 3rd grade next year - he is confident, doing extremely well in reading and math ....likes school. My vote would be to wait if you can!

Your sons will have distances as they grow anyway. When your older son turns about 12ish he probually will be more into his own friends for a while but will connect later. Brotherhood is stronger than being close in school together. It sounds like you already know it wouldn't be in your younger sons best interest to start school when he's not ready.

I have taught kindergarten and can tell you that many children with late birthdays do struggle...especially boys. If you feel he is immature for kindergarten you are probably right. You should wait until you think he is ready so you set him up for academic (and social)success throughout his school career. (However you mention that he is turning 4 this year...you can't accurately gauge how mature he is for kinder yet because kinder starts at age 5 so wait and next year you can decide whether or not to start him or wait another year.)

wait, oh please wait.

children born in the summer (and yours is late late late summer), and especially boys, have been shown to be--on average--significantly and permanently damaged in their development and success in school and emotionally/socially as people if they are started in kindergarten when they turn five (certainly 4 is out of the picture entirely) ... and this is true *even for kids who are "gifted"* ...

although I've read several articles on this at this point (I'm sorry I can't point you to any, I tend to retain info/ideas but not attributions), the most intense article was one that presented five(?) separate small-scale studies and showed that not only were there performance and happiness/life satisfaction gaps between summer birthday and winter birthday kids (who were 5 years old by Sept 1 or some similar cutoff date, which varied for each study), in high school the summer birthday kids were significantly more likely to have suicidal thoughts, attempt suicide, or commit suicide(!)

I was an academically gifted summer birthday girl who started kindergarten 'on time' ... and after I read this article I looked back at my high school career and indeed, for the kids who I knew were at least sometimes suicidal (myself included), if I knew their birthday, it was May-August ... (I'd also say more were boys, but from me that means nothing because I mostly hung out with boys).

It has something to do with us putting kids into a learning situation that (1) emphasizes certain kinds of learning over natural social adjustments and (2) makes what social learning is happening generally incorrectly geared for the younger children, if it's not just altogether incorrectly geared for all kids-too-young-for-the-grades

(which of course a lot of academically-oriented kindergartens are now: expecting kids to sit still when they haven't really finished, developmentally, figuring out where their bodies are in space. Nor do they normally have complete basic control of their bodies: a lot of kids who regularly run into other kids or swing their arms and hit other kids, it's because they don't realize their body is about to impact something (in this case another person)!! And that's not even getting into them needing enough time and the right kids of hands-on experiences to properly cross-wire the hemispheres of the brain and things like that ... )

Anyhow, your little guy could totally be the exception to all of this stuff I've read, and your Momma instincts will tell you in the end ... but on average, the way we've written the rules (cutoff date of Sept 1 in Oregon, for instance) is simply unhealthy (June 1 would be better), and the research started coming out in like the 1960s, telling us this. (In Oregon, at least a couple of years ago, a family couldn't be charged for truancy until their child was seven ... so there is (or was) a written-in-law recognition of the research that denies the common cultural trend ... . I've found a school that actually assesses each kindergartener and holds them back if they are not ready to succeed in the grades, which I think is fabulous ... it makes sure they've had a chance to integrate all the childhood developmental milestones, to provide an entirely firm foundation for the different, abstracted learning of the grades.)

I hope this gives you some concrete ideas to consider. If you are worried about social isolation, on average you'd do better in the long run to hold him back and let him be entirely of an age for entering big-kid school.

But again, in the end, you (and presumably your husband) know your little boy better than I do or any teacher or doctor does ... and all of this may simply not apply. Trust your judgement!

God bless
--K.

I would keep him out an extra year. My niece started early and ended up going to pre first grade. She is starting 8th grade this year and is doing fabulous in school. Holding him back one year will make all the difference in the world. My son was born on Aug 21 and we are going to wait until he is 6 to start kindergarten.

I don't have any personal experience since my daughter just turned 2. However, I've been working with Jr and Sr. high students for the past 10 years through my church. One family in particular has a girl that they held back because they weren't sure she was ready. Turns out, she was ready and ended up skipping 3rd grade! If you decide to wait a year, that doesn't mean you won't have different options at a later time.

Later is better, my middle son turned 5 in Oct so we had to wait, but it was the best thing for him. Our last child is a summer baby and will turn 5 next July and we may wait for her as well. You have such a short time for them to be at home and so long to be in school. Why not let them wait a little longer. My husband and I were both born in the summer and were 17 when we graduated, most of our friends were older. It never hurts to be on the older side.

Good luck!

What is the age requirement in your district for kindergarten? I'd first check on that and then weigh the options. In our area, the child should turn 5 by September 1st to qualify for that school year. Our daughter will be 4 in October and we aren't thinking about putting her in kindergarten until she's 5 almost 6, so not for 2 more years. If she seems to be getting bored with preschool by next fall we will look into pre-K. Is that an option for your son? My sister in law is a kindergarten teacher and she has told me that it's not about what the child knows, but whether or not they can sit still, pay attention to the activities that are going on in the classroom and be willing to participate. My daughter knows the alphabet and can recognize some words, counts to 20 and knows most shapes and colors. However, she doesn't have the attention span to sit through instruction and often ignores instructors if she doesn't feel like doing what they want her to do. In other words, she's not mature enough yet to be in kindergarten.

Hi, my birthday is August 22nd as well! I am not sure if my parents struggled with starting me in school when I was just 5 but I do know that it was an issue during my junior high and early high school years (and in to college really). I, too, was academically ready but I did struggle socially in those mid years. Starting college so young was also difficult and I almost didn't make it through that first year. My husband was an Oct. 1 baby and also was young (the cut off in California is Nov. or Dec.), His voice didn't change until his junior year of high school and he struggled socially as well. These are just our anecdotes. Our son is an October baby and will be starting K this year at almost 6. I love the maturity he has going in to school. You know which way I lean. You are the best parent for your child. I know you will decide what is best for him and your family. Good luck!

My youngest DD was born early Sept. Intellectually she was ready for Kindergarten when the rest of the kids born the same year as her were slotted to start but emotionally she needed the extra time. Yes it makes her older than 99% of the others in her class but she is doing much better now than if I would have started her when she should have. I am glad that we waited the extra year. And she did do 2 years of preschool as well.

S.,

I asked this same question last year. My son has an October birthday and missed the cut-off for kindergarten by 6 weeks. He will start kindergarten in the fall and a month later turn 6. I'm glad I waited.

The answer I got from adults that were put in early, parents that put their kids in early, teachers of those kids put in early and early childhood educators: WAIT!

Teacher would rather have older kids that are socially ready. In March/April of this year I was talking with a 4th grade teacher and her class was full of May/June/July birthdays and she was telling me how immature her whole class was because of that.

Our children are little, young and innocent for so short a time, let them stay that way for as long as possible.

Here is the link to the 124 replies I got on this subject: http://www.mamasource.com/request/8379759359009226753

Hope this helps,
Melissa

As I have a daughter who will be 6yrs old 9/25 and just starting kindergarten I struggled with this last year. Three things stood in my way.

1st -- Because she was turning 5 within 30 days of 9/1 she was eligable to start but she would have had to be "tested" in July.

2nd -- She has never been in a school setting. (only taking a few short community center classes) and our district is a all day kindergarten.

3rd -- As much as the other 2 things told me to wait (which we did) The only really compelling reason that made me want to proceed was my daughter turning 18yrs old at the begining of her senior year. I know it's hard to tell what your child will be like as a teen, but I have 4 people close to me that have struggled with their teens to stay on track because of attitude changes after turning 18yrs old. It seems that they thrive independance and when they legally become "adults" a whole different attitude emerges. None of these kids were ever bad, but just wanted to make a few of their own rules up about staying out late and such.

Ultimately, we decided to hold her out until she would naturally be eligable. We are also cautiously, enrolling her into our public school and will wait and see how it goes. We may decide to enroll her into a private school based on education. All this hopefully leading to a great education which may even include her to be in college prep courses and allow her to graduate early.

HTH
E.

I did it when my boys turned 5 in the summer and regret doing it they was the young ones all their school life. The older they are in Highschool the better off you are. I started them at 5 being a single parent could not afford daycare anylonger. My youngest one was that way too didn't really read or write and he really struggled and still is. He will have to be a double senior which means he will have to redo his senior yr becuase he struggled so much when he got to highschool he pretty much gave up. I felt the guilt because of starting him to early. Once they start school and hit middle school into Highschool you will wish they was back in elementry school again life was easier then.

I agree with other posters keep him going to preschool still. My eldest who is starting this fall will be one of the oldest in her class. I was heartbroken I couldn't send her last year but thankful I waited because now she can read entire books, spell, do basic math, follow written directions and so on. If you son isn't quite up to par academically or socially it is definitely the best thing to keep him in preschool and perhaps take him to the library for reading time or do as I did and play school at home. Get him accustomed to at least the basics of what school will be like for him. I am pretty sure in preschool they don't have too much structured "sit down, be quiet and listen" time.

In hindsight I wish I would have waited for my boys to start kindergarten. My kids both went through 2 years of preschool but I still don't think they were ready. Kids are expected to know much more going into kindergarten then I could have imagined. Many parents wait until their kids are closer to six and it really gave the 5 year olds a disadvantage. Every child is different but I think my kids would have fared better had I waited.

Hi S., I am responding as a teacher and as a mom who had a daughter with a Sep bday and a son with a May bday but who was big for his age. I have to say that while everything worked out by time they were adults, we made a mistake starting our daughter in Kindergarten at age 5 when her bday was past the cutoff. The problems occurred in the 5th grade, 8th grade and 10th grade. She didn't adjust to the increase in academic rigger very well and later it was that one year of social maturity that mattered. Even my son who was within the time limit would have benefited from another year to develop physically. He was a late bloomer and just didn't have the discipline for school sports until it was too late. I learned that there is no rush for them to grow up and being a little older is a definite advantage academically as well as sports wise. I would not rush it because it is difficult to correct for that mistake later. No one wants to hold their kid back once they are already in school and past the first grade, the it is socially hard on the kids as well. Blessings, D.

My step-sons b-day is Sept 30 and the fact that he is older than most kids has been a real benefit to him. He was also a little immature. now as he goes into 6th grade is ahead of his class but when he gets to junior high he can take more advanced classes. I am so glad we waited!

I know and understand your debate so well. My son's birthday is August 2nd. When evaluated for Kindergarten, academically he was more then ready so I went ahead and started him. But during kindertarten and first grade we had some real problem with his maturity. He was not ready for full-time all-day school. Yes academically he was ready but his muturity he wasn't. I really wish I would have waited one more year before I started him. He is now going into 2nd grade and so now it's really to late to hold him back and let him grow up a little more because he would be so board in school and I think would cause even more problems. If you think he is small and his maturity isn't ready, hold him back and wait that extra year. I wish I would have. If you would like to discuss this with me further, please email me.

Hi S., I had this issue right before summer. My oldest turned 5 in June and one was of the youngest in his class and had many parents and the teacher tell me to keep him in preschool for another year, however he's your typical little boy,but very smart and I felt like if I had kept him in preschool he would've been bored and felt inadequate since all his "friends" were moving on. The advice that I've recieved from most parents are to keep them in preschool until they're 6, however we're a military family and moved from Connecticut to Washington and I feel that children out here are at a huge disadvantage to the East Coast kids and maybe it's our area, but all the kids in Nic's previous pre-school were all in a pre-k program by the time they're 4 and in full-day kindergarten at 5, where I've seen kids here are lucky to be in a preschool program at all by the time they're 4. As I mom and knowing my son better than anyone else I had to put him in Kindergarten.

A.

Later is better you don't want him to be the slowest smallest kid.If they hold him back later it will be even worse.

Hi S.,

since you're a SAHM and this won't cause you any hardship -- I'd keep him home and going to Pre-school. Maybe increase the preschool a little, if you and he like it.

He'll have a much better start in school being one of the older boys (especially if he's small for his age), and another year of preschool will help academically.

I agree with Judy - they push really hard here in the Bellevue School District to get kids reading/writing in Kindergarten, and if he's not ready for it, you're setting him up for struggling for the next year or two with "extra specialists" etc... A lot of stress for nothing!!!

My boys are born in Oct & Dec., so they're among the oldest in their class, which worked out very well. No need to rush it - he'll be going to school for a looong time!

Best,
S.

From what you've said: birthday, size, gender, not writing or reading or sitting still too long... WAIT, WAIT, WAIT!!! One more year of preschool and maturing will do him so much good. He and his big brother will still be close. Good luck!

I would wait. All the research shows that when kids start kindergarten on the older side they're more successful in school all the way to college. It gives a child an advantage to start a little older with more information. Plus, you have to be turning 5 to start kindergarten, not 4. Your son is still too young. :)

FIrst of all, you should not be considering when your son starts school based on anything to do with your older son. Each child is different and has different needs. As far as his size is concerned, i wouldn't worry about that. He will catch up with everyone else at some point. And, if he's small for his age it probably won't make a difference later on. I'm a little confused if you are considering starting him this year or next year. if you are thinking this year when he is four I would highly advice against that. if you are thinking next year when he is five, then you have a year to decide and a lot can change in a year. Talk to his teachers and listen to what they have to say. They are professionals and know what he needs to be successful in school. What i have been told is that it's their emotional maturity that matters most. If he is emotionally ready then he will be successful. if he isn't than he could struggle all the way through high school. you don't want to throw him into something he isn't ready for. It could impact the rest of his educational life.

Personally, I would keep him home the extra year. It just seems like that extra year really gives the kids, especially boys, an extra leg up. My daughter was born at the beginning of June... If she would have been born just a month or two later I would start her in school an entire year later. I just think you'll give him a better chance at being successful. In my experience the young ones seem to struggle, especially socially, even by the time they get to me in the third grade. Good luck with your decision!

I think there is absolutely nothing wrong with waiting. I think kids are in school to early and it leads to problems later in their education life. Allow your child to mature under your guidance and he will do much better.

Another year of pre-school won't hurt him. Err on the side of caution, that way he will be well prepared for kindergarten and have the tools he needs to move forward successfully.

Hi S.,

I'm in total agreement with the moms who say to wait. My youngest son, who just turned 6 this month, did two years of pre-K and will be starting Kindergarten this Fall. While he was academically ready for Kindergarten last year, I didn't think he was socially ready because of his shyness. I had absolutely no qualms about giving him another year, and I'm glad I did. That extra year has made ALL the difference in the world and I'm confident that he'll excel in Kindergarten.

Also, my older son will be going into 2nd grade this year and he has a classmate who was in his Kindergarten class. I personally feel this classmate's parents should have given him an extra year before starting Kindergarten because he was too immature in comparison with his peers. Even in 1st grade I could see him struggling socially.

I hope my experiences of the last two years has helped you in making your decision. Good luck. I know making these choices aren't always easy.

send him later. for his age, later. for his size, later. for his maturity/readiness level, later. even for being a boy, later.

kids rarely suffer from being sent later, but frequently fail to excell in many areas, physically, socially and certainly not least of all, academically, from being sent too soon.

a couple decades ago people often pushed their kids forward at the youngest age possible, but there is a trend now toward waiting, and for good reason. even kids who just make 5 by the cutoff don't always go. this would likely make your son even younger when you consider the average age in the classroom.
additionally, distance in grades can actually be a good thing for brothers- sometimes having separate peer/sports groups can help cut down sibling rivalry. also, since your son is already the 'little brother' and 'behind' his brother, he may really enjoy being on the older side of a group of kids where he is more likely to be 'first'.

Ask the principal of the school your son will be attending, they will be able to do a readiness evaluation. My dad was an elementary school principal and he was always in favor of holding off on kindergarten for younger boys, they just aren't as ready as girls, they develop differently, more physically less socially. Also there is one little physical test you can do to help decide: have him reach his right arm over his head to touch his left ear if he can't reach his ear he isn't ready. Something about the development of being ready for kindergarten and this measurement is parallel.

I think that it is always better for them to be ahead than behind, and in this day and age holding kids back for a year is almost the norm. I understand wanting your two kids to be close, but I really feel that it will be better for your younger one in the long run to wait a year if you don't think he is ready. Another option could always be to start him in a half-day kindergarten and see how he does. He could always do an extra year if he needed to, and the second year you may want to have him try an all-day kindergarten. Kindergarten teachers are usually really good at picking out the kids who are ready to move on and those that should wait another year.

Great question, S.-- as a preschool teacher who sent children off to Kindergarden programs for the last 20 years I can promise you that Kindergarden is really, really tough on boys who are young --- very academic- very structured-- high demands for compliance and self control and being quiet. It just does NOT fit 95% of boys who are under 5 and a half--- I promise--- a year of 4-day a week preschool will set him up MUCH better to be in K----

Guaranteed

Blessings,
J. --- aka- Old Mom

I agree, he is too young to start kindergarten, physically and emotionally. I'm not sure where you live, but maybe a change in preschool is in order. My son has been attending preschool for a year and he recognizes and can write all of his letters, is starting to write words like Mommy,he has learned lots of numbers, and even more. If you live anywhere near the Garden Home area check into Funny Farm Early Learning Ceter. They have a new facebook page that will also bring you to their website. It's the best preschool anyone could bring their child to.

Ex kindergarten teacher here. My mother started me in kindergarten too early. So I have some experience here.

Boys need to move more at that age.

Kindergarten has become very academic for boys unless they are very, very mature. That means able to sit for 30 minutes or more, very interested in reading, and writing, knowing their numbers, and having the ability to do some computations.

They should be at least 5 1/2 to start kindergarten to have a successful year. This year starts their school experience out, either success or not. It took me up to 6th grade to catch up, but that is my own personal experience. Others will differ.

From your description of your son I would take another year before sending him to kindergarten. Can you find a prekindergarten in the area? It would give him a lot of experience and maturity to have that extra year before he starts kindergarten.

I say "if in doubt, keep him out"! A child that goes to school too early runs the risk of falling behind and being held back, which is not only disappointing but embarrassing for the child who doesn't get to stay in class with his friends. Another year gives him the chance to excel in school. I've heard this is especially true for boys. And if he gets to school and is acing every class and test you can always move him up a grade, which is far better than setting him up to possibly being held back. Good luck!