Lack of a Sex Drive

I'm in the same boat. I feel so guilty because my husband is very affectionate and loving and he wants to have sex, but i just don't. I would rather go the the grocery store with two screaming kids than have sex. It's just too much effort to exert after taking care of kids all day. I'm s SAHM so I definitely don't feel sexy anymore, running around in sweats/jeans and ratty shirts all day! I keep thinking if I focus on myself a L. more and exercise a L. I'll feel better about myself and it would help with my sex drive. I too have wondered about supplements. You're not alone! I'll be watching this post to see what others have said.

mine disappered from the time my daughter was born til 2, i think it has to do with being drained and not liking yourself physically...unless it's a medical issue

Mine disappeared when my kids were born and came back when they were all in school. Go figure. :)

You need to wait now but after baby will be born (when you stop nursing and have a little more time), go to the gym, eat well and get massages. The endorphines exercise releases+really liking your body will help you a lot.

I had my daughter at 33. I nursed her for just the first couple of months. Once I stopped nursing her, my sex drive came back immediately - and my daughter didn't sleep more than 4 hours in a row until she was 2 years old so we were TIRED. Even with no sleep, we still made time for each other. We're now both 45 and we enjoy a very healthy sex life. I don't get what others are talking about when they say that you're past your prime when you hit your 40s. We feel like we're IN our prime now. The fact that my husband had a vasectomy a number of years ago has also helped. We're looking forward to a little date night this weekend while my daughter is away - hee, hee.

I have no sex drive and im 34. my hubby is almost 49, so he is long past his peak. but i have never really had a big drive as it is......sex has never been that great for me.

LMAO cause you are NOT alone. I've asked a similar question in the past-used to be little rabbiets, now ugh really do I have to?! But my baby is now 2 and I am actually starting to feel more frisky. It gets better

Intereting to see what others have to say...

I'm 31 and recently had issues with the sex drive thing. It pretty much went away when I was pregnant with my dd, who is now 5. Then I had issues with my vagina that were surgically corrected when she was a year old, so it didnt hurt to have sex anymore, but I still didn't really want to. I was on the pill, and it made me very angry and not want to be touched, and it's been over a year since I went on it. I decided finally that I was just going to have sex when my husband suggested it (not all the time, but most of it) and see if that would help. He's very nice in bed, always wants to make sure I get my cookies, too, so it's not like it was a hardship, but I did have to fake it a few times. It's always a hurdle for me to get from being comfy doing my thing, to going all the way to the bedroom, getting undressed, having sex, then going back to doing what I wanted in the first place.

It seems like in the last couple of months, my sex drive has REALLY taken back off, to the point where it seems like we're having sex all the time. (well, to me it seems like a lot, to him it seems like just the right amount, LOL) I haven't enjoyed it this much since we first got together, and I think it's just because I made up my mind that I was going to start liking it again and just did it. Maybe it's because we're doing it more in the dark so I'm not as self-conscious, or because it's more after we've gone to bed so I'm already there, or because I'm letting him go more "downtown" so to speak, I don't know. But for a few years, I thought I was just broken and would never really want to have sex again.

I don't know if any of that was helpful, but I hope that something will work for you! I can't imagine that 2 1/2 children are really making you feel sexy, and being tired is probably another issue. Good luck!

Pregnancy and nursing, and now that I think about, any BC pill I've tried totally took away any 'desire' I had to have sex.

I was just telling my hubby that it really really stinks, because right around 18 months when I weaned my 2nd I felt it coming back and with a vengeance. then we started talking about number 3, I was fine with two and ready to be done, but he was not.

I made sure he understood this then means, my all of a sudden 'desire' and 'eagerness' to have sex is probably going totally disappear for another 2 yrs. I was pretty clear, you can get 'fixed' we can move on with the next step in our family, and I can finally 'enjoy' our time together etc etc. nope he really wanted a third etc. etc. Guess what 2 months ago and pretty much 4 months of no intercourse or at least me initiating it, he told me 'I forgot how hard this was'.....Uh ya I so wanted to shove the "I told you so' in his face, instead I just said I know and it'll probably be just as hard until I'm done nursing---Oh snap, right?

I just assured him its obviously a hormone thing for me, once I get back to my 'normal' self, get him fixed, so I don't have to worry about having another, hopefully we'll recapture our honeymoon phase---I'm hoping even better than the honeymoon stage :)

So yes very common and I have not taken any medication I was just about to talk to my OB when things kicked in on their own. After baby #3 comes along I'd just talk to your OB about it, and see if there is anything she can recommend, chance are though things will pick once your out of the baby stage and not pregnant!

Hmm? All I rember is that when I was pregnant with our first, second, and third I didn't want to have anything to do with sex! I was always tired and uncomfortable. Now i'm not saying that we weren't intimate because we were and he didn't complain but he also understood that I was pregger's and tired. Wait until after the baby come's and see how you feel, i'm sure it'll all change. Look at the bright side of it, after you have the baby that'll be your work out! I personally think that it's just stressful for us mom's (dad's too i'm sure!) but we deal with everything at home, kid's, house work etc. So at the end of the day we just want to get ahalf hour in the shower and then a good nights sleep. I hope it'll all work out! Congrat's to the both of you on baby #3!

when i was about your age i did the same thing. it took everything i had just to have sex with my husband. i love him dearly, but for him to touch me was horrible. i got pregnant with my 3rd child when i was 37 and after she was born, everything changed. it was like my hormones went waco for a few years. now i am almost 45 and we do it almost every day. forties are so much better. good luck,