Ladies Help!!! How Did You Know That You Were Done Having Children (Tubes Tied)?

I'm having a c section on the 9th and getting my tubes tied with it. I have a 5 year old boy and will have a girl. My perfect family. And I always knew I only wanted 2 kids so for my husband and me I KNOW we are done and won't have any regreats.

CONGRATS!!

I knew when I lost two babies in one year. That was enough for me... I couldn't handle the stress of possibly loosing another baby. Alexis was 22 weeks and the next one was 14. Done. Absolutely and completely done.

I hate the idea of making such a decision when your hormones are so unreliable. I have 7 and frankly, most were not planned. Although we practice NFP, that is only when we are serious about conceiving or postponing since if practiced correctly, is almost 100% reliable. It is a mob of glorious stress here at our house!! I don't regret one of the little critters. Please, Please, I beg of you to wait until you are out of the woods to make such a decision. I hope your husband can do the same.
Blessing,
M.
PS. From one very fertile woman to another, it must be for a reason:)

When I was 35 and my children were between 10 and 15 years of age I said goodbye to the other soul who was waiting and asked him to come as my grandchild. He did. And I have not had any urge to procreate since my daughter was pregnant with him. But that took lots of years.
I knew it was my career time and so though the another soul kept pulling at me I would not do it. There is more to life than continually rearing children. I wanted to educate my children and to give them the best chances for a fulfilling future. To do so I had to be a good role model.

Congratulations on baby #3!!! I knew I was done with one and I didn't even give birth to her, she is my biological niece. I have spent my entire life making sure she was the only.

I never envisioned myself with children before I got my daughter - I was married and had a great career and certainly didn't want a bunch. Heck, I still thought I had plenty of time for that (way down the road).

For us one is perfect and she is doing great in college. I hope you come to the decision that is best for you.

If you're being wishy washy then you're totally not ready to make such a permanent decision!! Think of all the other big decisions you've made in your life. The ones that were easy were because you knew in your heart it was the right thing to do. You need to feel this way before having a tubal ligation.

If you are in doubt at all, you probably shouldn't do it. I understand about the convenience of having it done since you will be having a c-section anyway, but there are other methods of birth control that are just as effective.

One of my friends had her tubes tied after her c-section. She had suffered several losses and suffered from high blood pressure when she was pregnant. Sh was was pregnant with her second child and was absolutely sure that she was done having kids. Less than two years later, she was devastated that she made that decision because she wanted another baby. She and her husband couldn't afford to try to have the tubal ligation reversed or do in-vitro. She is definitely done having kids, but she is not happy about it.

You can always have an IUD put in. I think it will last you 5-10 years, and it is reversible. No, it is not 100% effective, but neither is a tubal ligation. There is a very small chance that you could still get pregnant with a tubal ligation, but it would almost certainly be an ectopic pregnancy which you would have to terminate.

Good luck to you. This is a very difficult decision to make while you are pregnant. You should be putting your emotional energy into "enjoying" the rest of your pregnancy and welcoming your new wee one.

After 2 boys we thought we were done...then we wanted a girl. We went for it & we had our daughter. Once we found out it was a girl I knew we were done & I originally wanted him to do it but I ended up tying my tubes. I delivered vaginally so it was super painful since the surgery was the day after I had given birth but It was the best decision for us. I dont regret it & I healed just fine. I would advise you to be 100% sure if not then dont do it. Wait until you are ready! Good luck with your delivery :)

I knew I was done before #1 (and only) was born. I had signed the paper work for a tubal ligation at my doctor's office at my first check up - so if I needed a C-section I would be all set to go. A copy was in my folder and a copy was in my wallet.

If you decide you are certain about it make sure to take care of this before you receive any medications/sedation/etc. Apparently the hospital here would accept informed consent for a c-section from a possibly medicated woman (makes no sense to me that an epidural should in any way impair one's ability to give consent) but not for a tubal ligation.

Although I know they do not recommend having over three children via C-section (which is why I am shooting for a VBAC - and if I don't make it, I will shoot for it again), there are some women who have had more than three.

I personally wouldn't do anything permanent unless I am 100% sure I didn't want to have more children. There are other options - I am not a big fan of birth control, but that's a viable option. There are also natural methods of charting your cycles so that you can avoid having sex during fertile times. Vasectomies are also a viable option.

Your Fertility Signals: Using Them to Achieve or Avoid Pregnancy Naturally by Merryl Winstein is a great resource for using more natural methods.

At one point, after we had #4, hubby and I started talking about doing something permanent... we both felt that it was time to not have to worry about birth control...

He volunteered to have it done, since it was less of a surgery than me getting my tubes tied.....

Well, he didn't make the appointment, despite me reminding him to do it...

At one point, my period was late (like 6 weeks instead of 4-5 weeks) and I was panicking at the thought of being pregnant again....

I think that was what REALLY told me I was done having kids. I spoke with him about it, and he hemmed and hawed.... so I said... if you are uncomfortable with having it done, I'll do it.....

The next week I got an appointment with the doctor, and a couple weeks later had it taken care of. I don't remember how old I was....I was probably 38 or 39?

Before that, I didn't want to do anything permanent, also.... but this was the right time.

We thought about how old we wanted to be when the last one graduated from high school. I will be 49, dh will be 48 (only 8 more years!). Neither of us wanted to be any older than that, as we became parents young (early 20s) and want time for just us before we started getting too old lol.

I have four, that's plenty for me. I had a tubal because that was the best decision for us at the time.

I never wanted more than two kids, so I know after my second that we needed to have something permanent done. My husband had a vasectomy. IF I had a c-section with the second, I would have had my tubes tied, but if your husband is the one who is adamant about no more kids -maybe he should be the one to do it? Although it is easy when you have a c-section just to do it then.

Look at what you want to do with and for your family. Look at your finances. Think about your time and how stretched or not it is and what a third will do to all of that -positively or negatively and then think about a fourth or a fifth. Put factual terms down on paper where you can look at them without hormones pulling you in a bunch of different directions! You also have to realize that if your husband is absolutely done at three -then you really don't need to have any more.

Just think -by the time you're dealing with the first two and the new baby has kept you up for days on end -you'll be delighted ;-)

I'm sorry I don't have an answer for you because I have asked myself this question a million times...how do you know? When my hubby & I started dating I already had a baby/son from a previous relationship he was 2 yrs old at the time 10 yrs later I got pregnant w/my daughter then 4 yrs to the day I had another baby boy. My first baby is now 18 yrs old, my second my daughter is 7 yrs old and my third baby is 3 yrs old. So ideally I guess we're balanced I have my girl & my boy(s) now when I think about it I get a little sad & a little weepy because next year my youngest will be in preschool. They just grow up way too fast. :\ I'm beginning to get the baby itch again I miss the "baby" stages the oh so tiny sweet baby smell and I loved being pregnant even though I was sick as a dog through both my pregnancies. LOL! But, I don't think physically I could handle another pregnancy. When people ask us if were having anymore we always say no but then joke if hubby can get preggers than yes. Anyway, sorry for the ramble. You have to do what is best for you is the only thing I have to offer. Good luck to you & CONGRATS on Baby #3.

Oh my goodness, I just typed a whole thing out for you then my oldest (4 1/2yr old) pushed something on the computer and now its gone - that's how I know I'm done! LOL! Seriously though, I had an uncomplicated 1st pregnancy, 2 miscarraiges, then a complicated 4th pregnancy. During the last pregnancy we decided we were done. I had my tubal a day after he was born and have not regretted it at all. Yes, I have those fleeting thoughts of "maybe another would have been nice", but then I look at my boys (the baby is 11mo) and am glad we decided we were done. I have no urge to go through pregnancy, labor/delivery, newborn phase again. I love my boys, but look forward to them growing. But to answer your question a little more, when I was pregnant, I was like 99% sure we were done so I had my tubal - once we realized we had a "high maintenance" baby (he had silent reflux, always wanted to be held or around others-and still does-not reflux, but likes attention) I knew we were done. Plus my whiney, non-listening 4yr old has helped with that too ;) LOL. If your NOT completely sure (or atleast 99% sure), maybe wait and do essure or a non-hormonal IUD, but I KNOW we're done! Good luck and congrats!

I am 39 years old. I had my son a year ago (at age 38). I also have a four year old and an eight year old. I have had 3 c-sections and had my tubes tied after the birth of my son. I have not regretted it. I am SO done. Three is great. They are all beautiful, intelligent and healthy. However, I only wanted three. I am probably older than you. And these little people are expensive! They eat a ton now, so I shudder to think how it will be when they are teenagers. If it does not feel right to you, don't do it. You can always do it later. Or your husband can have a vasectomy. Much less invasive than a tubal, I have heard.

My advice: you will know your answer once you realize tubal ligation is permanent. It is very possible a successful reversal could not happen.

A copper IUD has the same failure rate as a tubal ligation.

No surgery. Good for 10 years. Can be taken out at any time. Works on antibiotics, day of insertion, no hormonal side effects.

I have 2 kids and that is the family we planned. I don't plan on any more (we are both over 40)...but that doesn't mean the thought doesn't pass through my mind occasionally. I think it is hard to make that decision for something so permanent (even if you don't plan on more kids). Maybe you can try a different kind of birth control like an IUD for a year or 2 and think about it. Then you can decide without all the pregnancy/new baby hormones.

If you are struggling with the decision or your feelings about it you could get a notebook and try journaling. Write about both sides until you get a better sense of what you want to do. It can be basic pro/con lists or more about your feelings--whatever you want.