Last Names!

If she's the main caregiver, etc. than her last name will be easier for her and the child. If dad wants to make it official, then the last name changes. If they don't think it'll happen marriage wise, maybe the baby can have his last name as the middle name in some way.

Question 1 sounds to me that she is using the kid's last name as a pawn to get him to marry her. Maybe it's the wording of the question or something gets lost in delivery since it's typed and not spoken, but to only give the kid his last name when he decides to marry her is wrong.

I think that at the very least, if they are both going to be active participants in the kid's life, than it should be at least a hypenated name.

It's his baby too, how does he feel? He should have some say in what name his child has.

Give father's last name unless she hates the guy, but either way child will need to know about his/her dad
I had a different last name than my mother when she remarried , I did not take my step dads last name and we didn't have any problems.

I REGRET giving my son my husband's last name (we weren't married at the time, although we are now, and have been together for over 10 years).

It in NO way reflects how I feel about my marriage/husband/or then boyfriend.

It DOES reflect 2 years of having to deal with my son having a different last name than myself. I will NEVER do that again (I say this, because after 10 years, I reeeeally want a divorce).

In hindsight I WISH I'd given him MY last name, and then we could have changed both our names when my husband and I married.

If/when I get divorced I will keep my married name (:P) because I'm not doing that again.

I chose to give my daughter my last name because I had full custody of her. If dad is on the birth certificate then he is excepting all legal responisibilities of the child. He would be responsible for child support no matter what. My daughter's bio dad was not on her birth certificate so he had to do a DNA test before having to pay child support. In my opinion her having my last name caused less confusion when she was older. The only issue I ever had was after I married my husband. My name was now different from hers which was fine, but she did not understand why. Luckily her bio dad let my husband adopt her so we all have the same last name now!

I think if I was in this dilemma either way I would hyphenate my last name and the baby's fathers last name.

Speaking from experience, give the baby HER last name.

Right now, my daughters have their dad's last name, and I just got married... their dad is being a butt head about letting me change the girls last name, and the girls feel REALLY left out that their last name is different from the rest of the family's.

Keep her name.
Period.

And NEVER, use the last name to bribe the guy into marrying her.
That is superficial. If a guy doesn't want to get married, he doesn't want to get married. And using a baby's name to manipulate him into it, is really, useless.

Again I would give baby her name because: they are not married, their relationship does not sound too stable, the guy may not even stick around once the baby is here or might but not be consistent, or they may just break up, or who knows what else.
The point is: they are not together. Therefore, I would give baby my... name. Only. And not both names. And not hyphenate.

Well, my 1st daughter's father wasn't in the picture, so I gave her my maiden name. It made things lots easier when my husband adopted her.
Now, if I had been with him and knew that it would be a "forever" thing, I'd give the baby his last name.

When my husband and I had our son we were not married, but since we were together I gave our son his last name only. We planned on getting married in the future so it worked out for us.

If the dad plans on being in the babies life wether the mom and dad are together or not... the baby should have his last name.

Even with or with out his last name if he was to support the baby ( child support or get state help) they will require a DNA test.

I think it's a really personal decision. Personally, I chose to keep my last name the same as it's always been. My daughter has her dad's name, and my niece has her bio-dad's name. So we have 3 last names in our house of 4. It's never caused a problem for us.

I was single when I got pregnant. Since I knew marrying my son's father was not option (not one I wanted) I decided that my son would have my last name. I did not want the confusion of being a single mom with a son having a different last name than my name.

If they get married later one, they can have the child' last name changed to his - very easy, and cheap to do. But, the father's name should be on the birth certificate to help with court support if needed later.

She doesn't even have to put the boyfriend on the birth certificate.
I gave my son my last name.
If it were my daughter I would say our last name.
Unless he's military, then his last name. This only makes the red tape easier to deal with.

Honestly, if they are not married but plan to both raise the child, I would hyphenate and give the child both names.

My best advice is unless they are married at the time she delivers the baby to give the baby her last name.

I gave my firstborn his father's last name even though we were not together. When my son was 5 his father kidnapped him, and I didn't see him for 10 years, 9 months ~ 6 weeks before he turned 16.

The authorities told me that because he had his father's last name it was simple for him to get all the necessary documents, passport, etc., to take him out of the country. I still can't forgive myself and don't know if i ever will for how my son suffered, even though my son has.

My little brother and his live in girlfriend of 5 years have a baby coming in November. Both of them are "scared" of marriage because both came from homes where the parents got divorced. They "think" they are going to be together forever but apparently they just arent sure. They have agreed to hyphenate their sons last name with the moms maiden name first and my brothers last name second.

I don't know what you mean by "together". My opinion is the baby should have only HER last name unless they are MARRIED. Have her ask an attorney what kind of problems this can cause her and she will know immediately what she should do. Good luck.

i think she should feel comfortable with the name. i believe that its easier if they were to split and she wanted child support then its best to have the dads last name and have him sign the birth certificate. that way he is taking the role of dad in caring for the baby. she could also hyphen the name also.

I believe in giving the child the father's name. My son has his father's name, we are not yet wed. I would have given it to him either way. My daughter, whom I miscarried would not have gotten her father's name, he was not a good man.

No way! Unless they are legally married those kids need her name. My sil went against what we told her and gave her son the dads last name. She got in trouble and now he took the boy and wont let my mil see him and there is nothing they can do about it. Until he puts a ring on it, no!!!

She can do whatever they feel is best for their situation.
Legally, I think she can name him Rumplestiltskin if she chooses!

I would suggest that she give the baby her last name, unless he plans to marry her soon. If they aren't going to marry, then when the baby starts school, most people will assume because they have the same last name she is married. At any rate, they won't stand out. Should she one day move on to another significant other and they have a baby, then she will have way too many last names in her family.

I have many friends and family members that even after getting divorced have kepted their married names just to keep down confusion.

Blackmail is never a good start for marriage so she should not tellhim marry me and child will change last name to his.Both my girls gave the child fathers last name--they have since left the picture but they did not have much to do with them. I am raising a grandchild from my husbands kids the child has fathers last name and now they are fighting who has custody of this child (mom married and lives in different state) she needs to have legal and physical custody just in case something happens.