Learning for a 3.5 - 4 Yr Old.

Updated on February 11, 2010
P.K. asks from Boston, MA
16 answers

I am having difficulty with my daughter writing her name--she is great at alphabet and numbers and she is trying to write--is she a slow learning not able to write her first name yet? We do workbooks 2-3 times a week but I'm worried.

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B.B.

answers from Augusta on

OMG! A 3.5- 4 yr. old, developmentally, should NOT be able to write her name. The "Bright From the Start" standards that GA preschools and daycares have to follow are developmentally, insanely, inappropriate. She should be learning by playing at this age. Throw away the workbooks and let her play. If you feel guilty, spend that time reading books to her, keeping in mind that her attention span, developmentally, is 3-4 minutes at this age.

Don't stress and just have fun!

1 mom found this helpful
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S.B.

answers from Savannah on

She is not slow or behind at all. I have a 4yr old but she will not start pre-k til next year. We had her at a private school to meet with the pre-k teacher about a month ago and she seemed suprised that she knew her numbers and letters...let alone knew how to write them. She has trouble writing her name unless I write it first and she then copies underneath. But according to everyone I know...unless their child is in pre-k they don't really know this yet. And the private school teacher told me that not all children know how to write their name by the end of pre-k. Keep woring with her...but she's not behind at all.

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V.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

Your daughter is already ahead of the game. When my daughter started kindergarten at age 4, she was writing her name and her teacher made the comment that most kids start kindergarten not knowing how to write their name yet. I didn’t know that at the time. Basically from what I’ve learned most kids know how to write their name between 4-5. What I did was teach my kids initially with sidewalk chalk, crayons, finger paint, markers, etc to make it fun. We had tracing paper so I would write their names in color and have them trace over mine by choosing their own colors, but I would have them close their eyes and pick a maker so each color would be a surprise. It was just fun. We also had an easel. Plus I always keep paper and writing utensils out all the time so they can write whenever they want. If they see their art box/supplies, they’re more likely to use it. Also a magna doodle was a big hit with my kids. Good luck & have fun!

1 mom found this helpful
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A.L.

answers from Atlanta on

Hi P., As most of the other mothers said, I wouldn't worry. The main thing is to do activities with her that she enjoys. I think that anything she does which uses her hands and allows her to experiment is good. Unless she really likes the workbook, I wouldn't bother with that--she'll be doing academic work soon enough (just a year!). If she's interested in writing, let her draw letters in wet sand or mud, cookie batter, with chalk on the sidewalk, or whatever. She'll learn to write her name when she's ready. Have fun with it! A.

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P.M.

answers from Portland on

Development of academic and motor skills is different for every child. All the latest research shows that focusing on academic development so early in childhood can actually be detrimental, and any advantages gained before six or so level out by the time the child is in 4th grade or so.

What children need at this age is play, free play, imaginative play, make-believe play, and more play. Google "the need for play in early childhood" to find out what many developmental specialists understand.

Please work on reading and writing only to the extent that your daughter actually enjoys. Too much focus could make her lose the natural excitement and delight of learning. Stressing that she gain motor skills that haven't yet developed will be discouraging.

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G.D.

answers from Savannah on

We turned our daughter's name into a short tune. We sang it around the house, in the car etc. After a few days, she & I sat down with paper & pencl, & she wrote it while singing it. Maybe it'll work for you? Hood luck :)

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T.F.

answers from Eugene on

My son just turned 4 and he doesn't know how to write any letters except O because it's a circle. I didn't know that kids are suppose to know how to write their name at this age?

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A.M.

answers from Columbus on

Hi P., I don't think she is a slow learner.To help her out make a game or games writing her name.First,last,and your home phone.These are things she will need to know.Start with some finger paints,my son and his daughter loved to play in the paint,make pretty paintings with her name.Keep a scrabble pad handy any time she wants to wright or draw let her with suppervision or the writing will be every were.My sister and I used to let our kids help making sugar cookies,instead of using sugar you meke a paint using egg yolk and food color and paint the cookies before you bake them.Make faces,numbers,and of course letters.The kids were two and three at the time,this was there favorite game naturally they had the cookies to eat later. Be Paitent!!

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D.W.

answers from Indianapolis on

She's perfectly fine!!!

Our son will be 4 in June, and he's just started writing his name this past week. We were under the impression he was a little early in the game according to the teachers at his day care.

If you're really concerned, I'd ask the pediatrician what the developmental milestones are at her age.
Or, here's a link to a new website the American Academy of Pediatrics just released for parenting advice:
http://www.healthychildren.org/English/Pages/default.aspx...

Here's their statement on what the cognitive milestones at this age should be as well:
http://www.healthychildren.org/English/ages-stages/presch...

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A.S.

answers from Denver on

Beading with cheerios on a string, playing with playdoh, playing with sand, those things will help more with finger strength and dexterity and are excellent pre-writing activities. There is no reason for your DD to write her name. Work on finger strength, writing will come in time. GL!

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J.G.

answers from Cleveland on

My 4 yr old boy has been going to headstart (pre-k) for 1 1/2 yrs now. They worked with him last year & again this year... he still has issues with writing his name. My daughter is in kindergarden & the teacher was suprised she could write her name so early in the year... some of the kids in the class are still having issues with writing their names.

I wouldn't worry about it... she still has a little while before kindergarden & a whole year of kindergarden to work on writing her name. Once she does start kindergarden, teachers have different ways to teach kids - ways we don't think of to help them to do it. So, just be patient & understanding... it doesn't hurt to work with her, but she will get it in time.

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B.

answers from Augusta on

Most 4 yr olds that haven't been to Pre-k Can't write their name. Or anything else for that matter. So no she's not slow you're ahead of the norm.

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S.G.

answers from Savannah on

No, she's not slow. She is just fine for her age. In fact, pushing her can make things worse not only now but later when she is in school. I used to do workbooks with my son (will be 4 in May) and he stopped listening to me, wouldn't follow instruction, etc. He was bored with me. He was already home with me all day telling him what to do-pick up your toys, eat your lunch, time for a nap, etc that he didn't want me telling him what the directions were in the books. I signed him up for a part day program (3 hrs a day 5 days a week) and he is learning so much so fast that it makes my head spin!! He wants to learn there because it's with other kids his age and 2 teachers he doesn't have to look at all day like he does mommy!!

Save the writing for Pre K/ kindergarten. Work on recognizing shapes, colors, number, letters, etc. Make it fun and follow her lead in it all. If she really wants to write letters. Try dashing them out on paper and letting her trace them first. She could see and E the opposite way that it really is right now because their brains are still trying to learn it all.

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P.S.

answers from Macon on

A child that has ADD or ADHD has no interest in writing the alphabet. I know this because my daughter had no interest in writing the alphabet when she was in Pre-K and she has ADD. I was so thankful when she graduated from highschool. I wanted her to go to a trade school but she had no interest in any further education. She is married and has a 5 year old daughter.
P. S

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L.Z.

answers from Atlanta on

Why on earth are you doing workbooks? Is she starting college next year? :) She's a toddler. She's not supposed to be able to write her name yet. Back off with the academics and do some developmentally-appropriate art projects. If you keep pushing her, you'll make her feel stupid and doubting of her abilities, and she'll likely have even more trouble. Attempting to teach things that are not developmentally appropriate causes more harm than good, and causes a lot of frustration for the child.

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S.T.

answers from Kansas City on

I would get that notebook that has the dotted lines for writing and write her name out and have her practice tracing it over and over that should help her out!

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