Leaving Child Home Alone

I think the first time I left my son home alone was when he was in 4th grade. I needed to go to the grocery and he really didn't want to come with me. Since it was 1/4 mile down the road I let him stay home - but then wound up talking on the phone to him the entire time I was gone.

Now, at 15, he comes home from school before me and is home alone for about each afternoon - unless I leave work early etc. He still does not like to be home alone at night though.

I also have neighbors that we know well and he knows that he can go to if he needs anything.

There is an actual law. It is age 12.

EDIT: My mistake, I didn't know it was just a guideline. I would say age 10 is reasonable for a child of good character. Age 7 is just too young, in my opinion...

In Maryland it's 7. I am too chicken though. I trust my kids. I don't trust other people. I want to try leaving my 8.5 year old daughter at home, but I think I'd freak out the entire 10 minutes I'd be gone!!

I believe it is a total question that can be answered by the parent. I think kids need to be able to stay home alone by age 11-12. They can legally babysit other children at that time, the Red Cross teachers babysitter classes for kids that have turned 12. So...if they can take care of someone else at this age it follows that they should know how to take care of themselves by that age.

Learning to do home alone time is a big deal. It takes planning and practice. Letting them stay inside alone while you are outside mowing, or gardening, walking around the neighborhood within sight of the front door, etc...are all good ways of teaching a child to get the feel of being the only one in the house, what it feels like, how it sounds, how to listen for sounds that are different and what to do.

I think by 8 a child is old enough to be home alone if they know how to microwave popcorn and have done so for some time, if they know how to use a phone and have one avail., are able to get to a neighbors home if they see smoke inside the home, know how to take care in the case of an earthquake, tornado siren, fire trucks going down the streets, etc...each and every thing must be addressed in case something happens to you while you are out.

If you are confident he is ready then no one can tell you otherwise. I would have some simple rules in place and posted somewhere so they can be referred to if needed. Such as only microwave snacks, no actual cooking. No answering the house phone, no answering the door to anyone even a police officer, go to XXX's house if there is an emergency, if they are not home go to XXX's house. Give him a direct list so if he breaks a rule you can look at it together.

As he gets a bit older I think you could let him do more. It happens in stages and practice is needed.

We just paid our "last" babysitter last week ...and we felt very generous opening our wallet. It was a celebratory moment. Our son is now 12 and we feel he can stay home officially for a few hours when we go out on our dates.

We have been leaving him with the other two for about a year... ages 9 and 5 for an hour or so at a time to test it out. They all do great!! I will even leave my 9 and 5 year old together if I am running somewhere for up to 20-30 minutes. Our 5 year old even knows my cell number,daddy's cell and our home phone number and address. They know they can go to a neighbor if they need help or how to call 911 and what to say.

We just had a police officer come to our school and talk to us about safety issues for kids. They did not mention a legal age for babysitting. It is kind of a grey area for parents..we have to decide the maturity level and if the kids will be responsible or if they going to form alliances and knock off one of their siblings.

Sometimes you can gauge by how they are acting toward each other whether it is a good time to leave them or not.

We are so excited for our date night next week...and so are the kids. They love the freedom and knowing that we trust them to have fun, play, follow the major rules and keep an eye on each other. We will get them some yummy food and a movie and tell them not to call us unless someone or the house is on fire or someone is bleeding.

It is such a liberating feeling now that I can do little errands and not have to schlep them along everywhere. Oh...it gets sooo much easier as they get older...I love it. They feel some sense of freedom...and so do I. And...it is even strange that now I can do this...I kinda miss them when I am running errands.

Sometimes I even will ask, "Does anyone want to come to Safeway or Target with me?" Then it turns into a little date with one of them and is so relaxing. Gone are the days of a carseat in the cart and kids bickering, a crying baby all while trying to get groceries. Those were the good 'ol days and I wouldn't trade them...but these days are even better!!

Good luck and best wishes!!!

I used to be a sub-contractor to the dept. of children and family services and asked that very question. Six is still too young; I was told teens and some pre-teens was the accepted age for leaving alone at home and only for 3-4 hours. Your six year old maybe mature and therefore you have the security to leave for that short time, but in a true emergency or catastrophe he does not have the reaction instinct for safety. It only takes a minute for some knock on the door or sound for your son to think you're back and can wander off looking for you. If you have a neighbor maybe they can watch him for you for those six minutes or just take the extra time to take him with you. When something goes wrong, everyone always says hindsight is everything and "if only I'd..." Hope you reconsider and wait for him to get older before leaving him alone.

IMO, 7 is too young to be alone for any amount of time. I have 4 kids and I would not leave my 7 year old home alone. 6 minutes can seem like an eternity in a state of emergency. What if there were an earthquake and there was major damage to your home, even 5 minutes alone after that would be terrifying. Just a few weeks ago a dear friend of mine lost her house to a fire. The enitre kitchen burned down in less than 15 minutes. The odds are that nothing will ever happen but if something did would you feel confident that your child would be okay even for a short period of time. My oldest is 12 and I once left my kids alone for one short errand. During this time there was a power outage and so they had no way of calling me and they were very scared. He now has a cell phone so he has a backup way of contacting me. I think you are capable of deciding what is best for your child, you know them better than anyone. My opinion is to always choose safety over convenience.

My husband's ex left their kids at home alone starting when they were 9 and 10, and she was just running up the street for groceries and was gone a total of 30 minutes. She instructed them not to answer or open the door for anyone, and to just let her open the door when she came home, instead of opening it for her assuming it was her. They were also mature and trustworthy enough that they were not going to do anything dangerous or stupid, like messing around with the stove or matches.

I have a 3 1/2 year old so I don't feel experienced enough to answer this, but it made me think of how different times are now. I remember in 2nd grade, walking home from school (pretty far) by myself and being a latch key kid back then - that's 7 years old!!! I wouldn't do it now with my kid - the latch key thing, the walking by himself, etc. Just seems so young and scary to be out in the world alone at that age. And, I was babysitting other people's kids by the time I was 10 - alone at their house, taking care of their toddlers - just nuts.

As for a mature 8 year old, alone for 6 minutes, I can't say yes or no. I imagine, most kids by this time have been left 'alone' in the house while the parents are doing something somewhere else in the house for 6 minutes, unsupervised so it's an interesting topic of conversation for sure.

My 11 year old is very mature and I would consider leaving him for a few hours alone HOWEVER, my 10 year old I wouldn't trust for 5 minutes-he's my wild man. I think it TOTALLY depends on the child.

I have an almost 8 year old. She is the most rule-orietned brightest child I know, and we have educated her on every safety strategy imaginable from strangers or fire or water, etc. However, I still catch her doing stupid things like dancing around with scissors in her hands or hopping down the stairs with dressup shoes on. Even though she knows better.

I by no means think you are a bad mom and I totally get why this feels okay to you. But I simply don't feel 8 year olds make good choices. It's the split second where I might have prevented an accident or gotten aid a minute sooner that makes me not leave her home alone for anything.

I believe our state has a law of age 11. I have training in cognitive psych and I know age 11 is the point in development when many (not all) children are able to reason and predict consequences with some certaintly. I think 8 is too young.

I have one friend who leaves her 10-year-old at home, only occasionally, and only for about 20 minutes at the most while she picks up his brother. Another friend leaves her 12-year-old at home from the time his bus picks him up until parents get home after 6:00 -- but he is in middle school. I would not leave my daughter, who is 10 and "extremely mature and responsible" home alone at all. First, she would be stressed and worried by it, since it's not something we do; and second, as someone else posted, I'm not sure -- despite her maturity -- that she would not go to the door if someone rang the bell. She wouldn't open it but would probably go to look out, which would alert the person to the fact she was there and possibly alone.

I think seven is too young to leave a child alone in the house even if he's smart and mature. If there's a fire and he finds the door hard to open, how will he react -- panic or thinking through other ways out? There are other scenarios one can conjure. We want our kids to learn some independence (and I'm sure some moms will post how they themselves were left alone from some earlier age onward) but I just wouldn't leave a child much younger than maybe 12 home alone.

7 sounds pretty young to me, even for a responsible child and for only a short time. I think I would wait until 9 or 10 to leave a child alone for any amount of time and, at that age, wouldn't do it for more than an hour. Of course, it would depend on the kid. But I can't imagine doing it at 7 or 8. I worry that a child that young wouldn't know what to do in an emergency or might say he's home alone to someone at the door/phone.

I started leaving my son home alone for no more than 1/2 hour at a time when he was 10. Now that he's 14, he stays home alone a lot more and a lot longer. I've, just this year, started leaving my daughters home alone, too. They're almost 11 and just turned 9. But again, for no more than about 1/2 hr to 45 minutes.

If all 3 of them were together at home, I would be comfortable leaving them for a couple of hours at a time, although I haven't actually done that yet. My husband and I keep talking about having an actual DINNER date and going out without the kids to a local restaurant. But whenever 7pm rolls around, we kinda look at each other and decide "Nah, too tired...we could just eat something from the fridge...don't feel like changing out of our sweats to go out..." some other excuse. Yeah...we're kinda lame like that...But that's a whole other post, isn't it?

I have a responsible mature common sense 9 year old daughter
And a typical 5 year old son.
I would not, leave her or him or her and him, home alone.

Probably 7-8th grade and not alone, with each other. I wouldn't leave my 7 year old alone. With an older sibling yes, but not alone.

7 is to young, alot can happen in 6 minutes.I do raise my kids to be very independent, but 6 minutes maybe for a 9 or 10 year old,never ever left them in the car !
Illinois has strict lwas about that ,too.

I started leaving our daughter alone at 9. She was fine with it. She also is better about following rules than I am, so I was not worried. She had a phone and all of our numbers and she knows all of the neighbors around us.

Our grocery store is only 3 minutes away by car so if anything happened I could have gotten here super quick.

I quit paying daycare and my daughter because a "latch key kid" when she was nine. I used to say I had better control of my daughter by phone than most parents had in person with their kids. She never got into any trouble and it was never a problem. I think kids rise to the occasion! It does, of course, depend on the maturity of the child and whether or not the child feels okay about it. I am now raising my granddaughter who is nine. I have left her at home with her auntie who is sleeping (she works nights) and she's fine with that, but I haven't left her alone yet. Since there are no other children that live with us, and since auntie (who does live with us) is usually home but asleep, she feels like she's a big girl kind of staying alone, but I have the comfort of knowing auntie is there if she's needed! Best of both worlds!

And Tess, you must be having a bad day. Lighten up and try to find some humor in things!

I think it might depend on how your child feels about it. I left my son alone for a few minutes. My hubby was in route home (5 mins out) and I had to get my daughter to an appt that my son really didn't want to come along to. So he sat in the house while on the phone with me until Dad got home. He was a little nervous so I think we might wait until he is 10 or so to start leaving him home longer...

I think Tess must be a troll. She just left the stupidest answer on my question too. Anyway, it really does depend on the kid. If you think your son is okay for that long, then good for him! If it's only six minutes, then no big deal. He's learning responsibility.

Here is what I found as a resource. Many states do not have actual laws, just recommendations. As a home daycare provider this is something we often address, and thru my childcare associations, etc when parents are looking for info. This is one source we look to.

http://www.latchkey-kids.com/latchkey-kids-age-limits.htm

I've left both my boys, not together (12 and 10) home alone for up to an hour each. I never go far, they have their cell phone and know not to answer the house phone or door ect. there is no actual age in Ohio either, but I can't imagine leaving my 8 year old DD home alone, even though she may very well be more responsible than either of my boys. 8 is just to little IMO.

I think it depends on the maturity level of the child. When I was that age I was a latch key kid. My parents were divorced and my mom had to work so I would go right home after school. I have left my daughter (at 5) to talk to the neighbors across the street and came back to find she hadn't moved from in front of the TV. I don't think I would leave her for too long though, but I worry constantly.

UPDATE:
I googled this and copied the page. I think it varies by state.

http://www.childwelfare.gov/pubs/factsheets/homealone.cfm

It really does depend on the kid.

When growing up I was a 'latch-key-kid' and walked home all by myself at that age and stayed alone until my older sister got home.

Now that I have kids of my own, my kids seem to be IMO, mature enough to stay alone (no siblings to watch) for a few minutes around 9y/o? With younger siblings to watch, it has been around 12, I think?

It does depend on the child, but I always ask myself this.

If something WERE to happen (and of course you never know what might happen) and it ends up on the 6 o'clock news, will I feel like I made the right choices?

If you left your 7-year old home alone and (God forbid) a fire happened, what would the story sound like on the news?

Woman left a 7-year old home alone and house caught on fire. Luckily everyone is okay.

OR

Woman left 14-year old home alone, the house caught fire. Thankfully everyone is okay.

To me, common sense is a general agreement with society that you are making the best choice you could. Not many people would question the fact that you left your 14-year old home alone. Many people would question leaving a 7-year old home alone, even if he/she was "mature." I don't personally think that's good sense.

For me, I could NEVER live with myself if I left my 7-year old home alone and something happened. I KNOW that 7-year olds, no matter how good or "mature" they seem, are just not equipped to handle emergencies as well as an older child. There are many kids who are very well-behaved in my class, they are the ones I can depend on to behave even if I'm not right there with them. BUT, they also still go running and crying to their mommies when they fall down and I've seen them get frustrated or angry when things don't go their way and then they seem like any other 7-year old. To be honest kids really don't start acting more mature about things until about age 12. We had a girl break her arm in front of everyone and the only kids that kept their cool and could actually help me in that emergency situation were the 12 and 13 year olds. I had 10 year olds crying that they saw it, and one was in shock at what she saw and I had to get one of the older kids to help HER out.

I'm not saying to run your life by what "everyone else" thinks by any means. I just think the 6 o'clock news is a good way of determining if you're taking an unreasonable risk. Your child's life is not worth the risk of 6 minutes down the block. I know bad things can happen anywhere at any time, but I'd be more at peace with myself if I was sure I did everything I could.

I think it depends a lot on the maturity of the child or children involved.

When I was 8 or so, my mom had my baby brother. My sister (6) and I had gone to the caregiver's house a couple of times for summer care and Hated It. She was fine for an infant, but terrible for us. After some conversations, my mom asked if we would like to stay home for the day (she worked part-time in the summer, about 25 hours a week). We did fine: she called "in code" so we never answered the phone otherwise. We never answered the door, either. We weren't allowed out the front door, but the fenced-in backyard was okay. We did this throughout the summer (we even had our 'quiet time' each day and I made sandwiches for us for lunch-- we were really good kids) and it was fine.

I'm not recommending this, personally. I'm just explaining that in some situations, kids can handle the responsibility. Plus, we really knew that if we screwed up, it was back to the babysitter for us.

Nowadays, I'd say that I'd want to see that my son can think well for himself, make good decisions regarding safety and following house rules and have some back-up, like the neighbors you describe. He's not even old enough to read right now, let alone learn about basics of fire safety (even simple things like toasters can catch fire). I think kids all have their own schedule at which they mature; I know 13 year olds I wouldn't want to leave home alone for too long, too, because they tend to make poor choices. Just saying...

Depends on the situation. Do you have a sprinkler system in case of fire? A burglar alarm? Can you really trust he will not open the door to some one who says "Mommy just said it was OK for me to bring you candy? When I'm in the shower, my son is kinda on his own, no supervision, for ten minutes

There is probably not a state law anywhere about this. Most of these type of laws are local, either city or county.

It all depends on the kid.

Hey Tess, your rude! LOL I have left my kids in the car with it running and the doors locked many times when they were younger, starting when they knew how to unlock the door for just Mommy. =P

No, I would not leave a 7 year old home alone while I drove away. When my daughter was 9 1/2 or so, I started leaving her home alone for those short periods, up to a half hour. Once my kids were 10, they were coming home from school for 30-45 minutes alone til I got home from work. At 11, they were staying home on half days by themselves.

I second the troll comment about Tess...and if you look on her page she just makes BS answers on everyone's posts. Have you no life?

Where I live, this the law:

Ages 0 to 8: May not be left unsupervised
9 to 11: No more than 1.5 hours alone- days only
12 to 15: May be let alone all day
16 to 17: May be left alone all night or over the weekend

Babysitting Guidelines Ages
12 to 13: May babysit children up to 4 hours
14 to 15: May babysit over 4 hours- not overnight or weekends
16 to 17: May babysit children overnight or over the weekend

Just FYI. And are you SURE there are no laws? I'd ask his school, they'd know for sure.

Testy is our weekend troll. About 90% of his/her answers get pulled.
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I started last year when my son was 8.
5-10 minutes.
It's practice for both of us.

I've told him just recently that I'll let him stay home alone for apx 30-60 minutes (aka trip to the grocery store) when he's 10. He'd be fine now, I'm sure. And probably would have been a year ago. It's a pretty arbitary number that correlates with I KNOW he'll be fine, but I want just a little more time (6mo) to accustom myself to the idea.

MYSELF... I was babysitting (evenings until midnight) when I was 11.