Leaving Toddler Son with Grandparents for the First Time

Because of my job, I have to travel periodically for a week at a time. My husband does a wonderful job taking care of our 2 year old son. One thing I do, that makes me feel better is that I buy him a small trinket (dollar store) or treat (candy) for each day I will be gone. I write him a note for each day, telling him where I am, when I am coming back and how much I miss and love him. I put them in individual bags marked for each day. My husband sends one of the bags to daycare each day and my son gets to open his present and have his teachers read him the note. They say he loves it and feels really special. It makes me feel better, since I can't be with him.

YEAH...Mommy and Daddy alone time.

I left my kids a while back with my parents. and Yes, they missed us . BUT I think a good idea is..Have the in laws call YOU! Or have a set time when you call. If you keep calling all the time, it will disrupt your vacation and it could upset your son. Like he is doing good and playing and not thinking about missing you guys...then boom you call and disrupt that. So, if they know when you are going to call they can tell your son about it, if he is sad or missing you. They can call you or say, Mom will be calling before you go to bed, don't worry..stuff like that...Your son will be fine...TRY AND RELAX AND ENJOY YOUR TRIP!

Send his favorite toy and blanket that you have held him in, so that it has your scent on it. I have left my 5 month old overnight with her grandparents on two seperate occasions. She did just fine. I am sure that his grandparents will take great care of him. I would not suggest making contact via webcam everyday due to this could leave your son wondering when he will see you and husband again. If he call and talk to him on the phone that is one thing. If he does not understand how the computer works talking by webcam may be difficult for hime because he can see but can't hug you or kiss you. These are just my thoughts, I am certainly not an expert though.

With my boys...I found the more I talked to them...the more they remembered I wasn't with them. Make sure that you make a copy of yours & your husband's drivers license & front & back of your insurance card - with a signed note giving the grandparents authorization to for medical treatment....just in case! :) They rarely need it - but it gives everyone a peace of mind.

oh....and not to be a "downer" - make sure you have an updated & signed will for who you want to raise your son...just in case.

My husband and I just left our kids for 2 weeks...taking our youngest to a hospital out of state...realized our will didn't have our middle or youngest son on it....and I just don't like to take chances! Can't rely on the legal system to do what's "right" - gotta have it in writing!

I would not recommend calling him daily or communicating via webcam with him. He needs to get into a routine with his grandparents, and hearing your voice/ seeing you on webcam is likely to disrupt their routine and cause more problems,ie crying when it's time to hang up or turn off the webcam,(as well as pull at your heartstrings). Children are incredibly resilient and he will do well once he gets used to you NOT being around. Communicating daily will more than likely upset him rather than help him get used to you not being there. I have gone away and left my girls with sitters for a week at a time and it's actually harder on you than it is on them! He will have a ball and the inlaw's will enjoy having uninterupted time to get to know and bond with him. Don't worry; it'll be fine. Go and enjoy your time away with your hubby. If you want to write him a letter and send it now, so he gets it while you are gone, that would be great. Maybe include a little calendar so he can count the days until you get back.("This is how many sleeps you have until mommy and daddy get home).

It will probably be harder on you than him. I would call and talk to your in-laws as often as you need too-- but let him ask to talk to you. They tend to do better without constant reminders that you are not there. We left my son for 4 days last Feb with my parents. He sees them all the time though and was very exited. My parents told him they were on their own vaction adventure and planned lots of fun outings with him. When we called he didn't even want to talk to us, he was too busying playing!

Hi MC, just a suggestion when you leave your son with his grandparents, you may want to leave a piece of clothing of yours and your husbands with your scents on them. Also children have no conception of time so if you can give him a sort of calendar or "puzzle" and each day he has to find something that you have left there for him and let him know that when he finds the final (whatever) then mom and dad will be home.

We leave our daughter with my husband's parents so I know how you feel. The longest period I've had her spend the night with them was for two nights/three days. So, I could only image for a week.

I am sure your in-laws wouldn't have agreed to it if they didn't think they could handle it.

Give your son a family picture with you, your husband and your son so he can see you when ever he wants.

Make sure you pack a lot of his favorite toys and books. And I would add some of his personal things to make it feel more like home. Like his pillow and blanket or maybe favorite cup.

It will be good for you and your husband to have some personal time together. Have fun and relax!

I would re-think the calling and webcamming every day. Kids are pretty resilient and so long as they are engaged in daily routines or fun things, they , at that age, are not going to miss you like you miss them. The calls would be confusing to him, not comforting. If they started him crying, what are you going to do? Cancel your trip and come home or fret worse than you already are?
I might try a trial overnighter or two as well. Or all of you stay there the night before the trip. Stay there or go out to eat or go to a motel for the night. Test it and also, whether you do that or not, be casual about it. Don't make a big deal about Mommy leaving her little boy. Big , brave face, kiss and casual happy jaunt out the door. You can cry in the car.
J.

We left our daughter with Grandparents for a week and we stepped up the visiting times before we went. Also, we had the grandparents stay at our house. (not sure if that's ok with your situation) but by her being in her own surroundings and in her own bed I think did wonders. (although she was a bit younger 21 months)If you can't have them stay at your place then maybe stay a night or two with him at Grandma's that way he's used to being there before you go. And of course bring all his favorite toys, blankets and whatever else might make him feel comfy. Trust your folks to do the right thing after all they brought you up. He'll be fine!

Something I have done is made a small poster with the number of days that you will be gone. I made this with my son so that he really got into it. This is something that he can do every day when he wakes up or at night. Generally, I think the hardest time for them is at night when they go to bed. I always try to call and say goodnight. He feels better when my husband and I do that. I definitely agree with taking some of your son's toys with him and anything inparticular he likes having in his bed at night. This helps.

One thing my neighbor has done is she will go to the dollar store and buy a small treat for each day that she is gone. Every morning her son has to hunt around to find the treat for the day. He seems to really enjoy it. I think she also puts a note in each bag.

Also, you could always set up a special time for the phone call so he can look forward to that as well.

Enjoy your vacation!!

First relax and try to have a good time. Time away for Mommy and Daddy makes happy parents and a happy home.

To help comfort your son I suggest that you leave a video or a recording of you or your husband reading his favorite story. Maybe a video of the regualr bedtime rituals even including him interacting with the two of you. If he has a favorite toy or blanket of course they go with him. If he naps or sleeps in your bed send one of your pillows (unwashed, the smell of Mommy will comfort him).

If the constant calls and web visits make it hard for the grandparents after it is over maybe....just a call once a day.

I am a mother of 4, trust me he will still love you when you get make.

M.

You could make a Large Calender with how many days you're going to be gone and every day he could either cross the days off or put a sticker on them. Another good idea is to get some small toys/books that he would like and give them to your inlaws to give him one every day. You could send him a letter or postcard from wherever you're going so he feels included too!

Your little one will sence your stress - I'm sure his grandparents can handle things for one week afterall they did raise your husband. Your son will respond to the family based on your reactions to leaving him so relax and have a good time. I'm sure you and your husband can use some alone time after 2 1/2 years.