Long Plane Trip with Very Difficult Toddler

Updated on April 26, 2008
X.W. asks from Pocatello, ID
30 answers

We are planning a trip to South America to visit family. I have a 3 year old daughter that is a screamer and tantrum thrower when she doesn't get her way. She used to pass out starting at 9 mths old because she would get so upset. I am so afraid that she will do badly on the plane. She hates being strapped in her carseat for even a 20 min. car ride. This will be about a day and a half on and off a plane. My husband doesn't even want to go because of this. Any advice?? Oh and benadryl does not work on her. Is that the only other choice?

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C.R.

answers from Denver on

I know how you feel. I always need to go to Europe to visit my family and I have a four year old son...

These are the things I did:
Go to the Library for some books are buy some
-Travels with Baby (The Ulitmate Guide for Planning Trips with Babies, Toddlers, and Preschool-Age Children by Shelly Rivoli
-Kid's Travel Fun Book by Loris and Marlin Bree
and there are lot more books at there on traveling with your kids

I also bought a cute card game (52 fun things to don the plane by Lynn Gordon)

And don't forget to take any activity bag with you. Put in: crayons, color book, reading books, DVD and movies, soft blanket, stuff toy, and whatever you can think of to keep your little sweetheart busy.....

I also back up a pharmacy kit: Ear Drops, Children's Tynelol, Children's calming drops that are hemopathic (you can find this at vitamin cottage), and whatever you think your little sweetheart might need on the trip. It's better to have it, then not to have it.

Also be sure that have your little sweetheart drinking or eating an apple or carrot or sucking on something when taking off or landing. This should prevent ease on the ear pain.

I also had a pair of extra clothes and his pjs. I tried to keep up with the routine. Like brushig teeth, putting on pjs (only if you can). Quiet time etc. (Also order a head of time the children meal for your little one)

Try to make it as fun as possible and start taking to your little one about the trip. This helps them prepare for it and they don't get scared of it.

I wish you a wonderful trip.

Hope this info helped.

Sending Happy Greetings from Mead

I wish you a fun trip......

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K.W.

answers from Provo on

I actually asked this same question a couple months ago and got some great responses. This is what worked for us...

My kids did VERY well on this trip. They both had their blankets for the whole trip which was a life saver. I kept my 18 month old in her car seat a lot of the time. She is used to the 6 hour drive to grandma's and so we decided to treat this trip a little bit the same way. When she needed a break we would get her out and she would either walk a little or sit with Dad and Brother. I had their normal snacks but then gift wrapped small packages of M&M's which they thought was really cool. I had a sticker book (from Costco) which I thought would be a great hit for my 3 year old but my 18 month old loved it too. She was entertained for at least 30 minutes at a time. I also found foam letters and numbers at Walmart for only $.88 and they work like a puzzle where the letters come out of their own square and the squares fit together in a block or rows or however you would like. These where a HUGE hit! My husband said they won the "best toy" prize. My 18 month old got to play with the numbers (1-10) and my son got the letters and they played for probably an hour and wanted more but we needed to get ready for landing. We also had our DVD player but we didn't use it as much as a I thought we would. It was great to have though.

Good luck!

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A.P.

answers from Denver on

Portable DVD player and lots of movies. Backpack of activities... coloring, toys, etc. Maybe give her a treat/reward for every hour that she behaves. Once on the plane, and once the sign says it's ok, let her get out of her seat an explore the plane --- with you, course. Play it up as an adventure. She can pretend to be Dora the Explorer. But, really, the issue isn't the plane ride --- it's her behavior. That behavior is unacceptable no matter where you are. You need to start correcting the behavior now. Time outs. Take toys/privileges away. She's a big girl now... she needs to learn appropriate behavior. Good luck.

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R.S.

answers from Provo on

That's a tough one. We're taking our two and a half year old to Greece in a month so I know what you're facing. Laptop with tons of movies, snacks, new toys and books (bring one out every two hours or something like that), etc. They make tons of cool traveling toys for kids. Colorwonder markers and fingerpaints, magnetic Princess dolls with clothes and such (I even saw a magnetic house with all the furnishings and stuff), sticker books, crayons and coloring books, etc. Good luck!

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C.C.

answers from Salt Lake City on

Does she have any favorite movies? you could take a portable DVD player and headphones for her. Also a coloring pad and some crayons--on one flight with my DD we bought a book that has special markers, the markers have no color to them but instead when they go over the page which is mostly black with white where the coloring would be, the colors showed up. It kept her entertained for a while. We also take tons of snacks she likes and books and we treat her to a small toy or candy of choice in a goft shop if we have a layover. I also plan at least 2 hours for my layovers so we can walk and run and stretch.
I hope some of it can help.

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K.P.

answers from Colorado Springs on

Bring lots of her favorite snacks in her own special backpack and purchase several new toys and activities to bring out as needed. Make sure she doesn't get to play with them until they are on trip. Vanilla wafers saved a long trip. Good luck!!

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S.S.

answers from Provo on

Make sure you get her her own seat! That is very important. More money, yes...but worth it! Bring her carseat on the airplane with you. You can carry it up to the gate and bring it on---shouldn't count as extra luggage.
When you take off, it sometimes takes a while. Make sure that as you are lifting off, she has a bottle, drink, gum to chew, candy to suck on...something in her mouth. That will help with the clogged ears.
Bring LOTS of little things that she has never seen before. New toys, books, crayons, coloring book. Have your bag full of new little "surprises" that you can pull out here and there. Make sure you have snacks and candy. I know that sounds bad...but lifesavors really ARE life savors! Healthy foods she is used to are great too...grapes, granola bars, little things she likes. String Cheese! Juice boxes! If she takes a sippy cup, ask the stewardesses to fill it up for you instead of giving you a cup of theirs. Maybe even keep a spare one for a different type of drink?
We have gone back and forth to the British Isles, so I have some experience in this.
She may fall asleep....to your surprise, and be just fine. (She may do the opposite and cry a lot, but think positive!) Don't worry about this...people understand around you. It is worth going....don't NOT go because of your fears of your daughters behavior on the airplane. Everything will most likely be just fine. Have Fun and Don't worry!!

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H.R.

answers from Colorado Springs on

I have had to travel across country when my kids were little. Others are right. Plan the flight for as late as you can, and bring lots of snacks and activities. Color wonders are great on a plane. I also found sugar free dum dums that my kids could suck on durring take off and landing to help ease the pressure in their ears and it worked great and they werent bouncing off the walls later. We also used a DVD player and "special" ear phones so that others around us werent forced to put up with Snow White for hours on end. You mentioned that she will be in her car seat, and I wanted to point out that you need to make sure that your car seat is FAA approved before you leave otherwise the flight crew will force you to check it and you will be forced to have an unstrapped child. I think there is a sticker on the bottom somewhere that says if it is or not, but this is something I found out the hard way.

Good Luck!

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M.G.

answers from Salt Lake City on

I took my three year old and 7 month old baby to England with me. I just had to bring all the entertainment I could think of including my laptop with kids computer games and dvd player. I also brought lots of snacks.
One thing that I think helped is that I talked with him about our long plane ride alot, well before we left. I explained many times that we would be in a little seat for a long time but spoke positively about it with him.
I was surprized how well he did.
good luck

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W.C.

answers from Colorado Springs on

Hi X.!

Have you thought about getting a portable DVD player and maybe an extra battery to go with. Also the Leapster is a great toy and there is a variety of game/activity cartriges. ( I think they have some for your daughter's age range). I know this can be pricey...but both are great investments for future trips.

Or how about getting her a backpack, take her to the store to buys some things to play with on the plane specifically, ie: coloring books/crayons, a Barbie or two, Littlest Pet Shop animals etc....and dont let her play with any of it until she's on the plane.

This has worked for me. Good luck and hope you have a great time on your trip!

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J.N.

answers from Billings on

I've done a 4 hour plane ride with our 3 kids and we couldn't really plan one for late night b/c it was an emergency to get home (father died). But I do know that the later you can get a flight the better. Benedryl doesn't work, but maybe melatonin will. Its something the body produces naturally and some people don't make enough of it, but it helps you get too sleep. My peds dr prescribed it for my then 1 yo with night terrors.
For the awake period. Fill his carryon with activities. Have him bring a small pillow or blanket so he has something of his that might comfort him. I always have the cheap notebooks and colored pencils (they are harder to write on the car with) and $1 store coloring books. They each have leapsters and share the games ( I love these, they are educational and they love playing with them - the handheld ones).Snacks up the wazoo. Ones that they are always begging for- 1 b/c they are sealed and 2 people dont mind hearing happy kids, just unhappy (aw mom not that again)
Have a special reward (maybe a bite size candy?) and reward him for 10,20,30 min of good behavior, whichever works for you.
Oh and bring a sippy cup. The tupperware kind (they have a fake tuperware version at walmart for like a buck). "Treat" him to sprite or the other non cafeine ones.

Okay thats all I can think of thats worked for me, or I know works!I hope you have an uneventful plane ride down and then a great stay there!!

J. in Terry MT

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A.L.

answers from Pueblo on

As one other person mentioned, try the Rescue Remedy. I've heard mamas and grandmas swear by it. Another thought is Velerian Root tincture if you can find it in a child's formula. It is a relaxing herb.
Good luck and have a wonderful trip.
A.

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M.R.

answers from Salt Lake City on

Dear X.,

I too have to take long travels with our 4 young kids to Singapore. I also have a 3yr old that is full of life. It has been my experience that if I plan and prepare a lot it works out. Maybe you can try the following: Talk to your child about going on the airplane and how we have to be on airplanes. Also bring a bag of new and exciting toys or activities (games). Special treats are helpful too. If your child likes to be read to that is great too. I also try distracting my 3 yr. old, by saying look can you see any birds, or clouds..... anything that can get there minds off being straped in a seat for a long time. Also not that I recommend it, but you can go to the doctor and they can give a mild sleeping medicine. I too know that benadryl can really make some kids hyper so that is why I say you can go talk to your pediatrician and see what they recommend that way. Last I am not sure where they will put you on the plane, but for us they always put us by the roaring engines and it vibrates the seat a bit and really makes kids sleep. I hope this helps. Best of luck. I am sure you will do fine though.

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M.L.

answers from Denver on

I just did it too Australia with a 10 month old and 2 1/2 y/o
by myself.And back.
Try for a night flight to start the journey if not with your 1st stop over brush teeth and put on pj's just before you get back on the plane.That might help her to know whats coming next.
No drugs helped me either.
Also try wrpping a few presents,($1 store is great),make a big deal out of them,bribery usually works.Give them as a last resort.I also had a portable dvd player.
Let her run around as much as possible on stop overs.
Good luck.
M.

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D.K.

answers from Denver on

Make sure she is tired, but not overly tired. See if you can rent a DVD player with the airlines and bring some of her favorite movies. Do a reward system with her, for every hour she sits still and is good then pull out some cute little toy for her (Go to the dollar store or target dollar area) and load up on toys that are inexpensive and small. Bring color wonders for her.
Even bringing a few little pieces of candy to reward her with being still and quiet. Explain ahead of time about flying, why she cannot bother the other passengers, that you know what a big girl she is and it is very important that she behaves and not bother the other people.
Bring her favorite snuggly so if she wants to sleep/rest she is more at home.
Hugs, I am sure she may do better then you think. Just lay down the rules, explain why there are the rules, give her a mini reward system for motivation and GOOD LUCK! HAVE FUN!

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M.B.

answers from Salt Lake City on

I too am planning a long plane ride soon with my 18mo old. I have talked with others who have flown with children overseas alot and some talked about using a cough medicine to help make them a little drowsy and want to sleep. Whatever you do, I'd check with your doctor or pharmacist first to make sure it's ok. If you're curious, try it out before you go. I talked with my doctor about it and with my daughter he suggested that we not use any medication, but that we plan for lots of activities and distractions during the plane ride. Get some suprises for her to play with (new coloring book, stickers, new movie, etc.) so she's more engaged. You could also try a reward if she can get through the plane ride, or several rewards for different points during the ride--give her something to work towards.

Best of luck! My heart goes out to you!
M.

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J.D.

answers from Denver on

I too am flying this year to Europe with my 18 month old. We've flown on many cross-country flights, but this is a big one! I'm going to get a DVD player and if she really acts up, play some "baby" dvds to get her attention (something slow like baby einstein, wallace & gromet). I've also used new books with flip-up pages & new toys that have really worked. I found on previous flights that my daughter loves to sit on my lap and put things in other things, so I have a little zippered bag and have a variety of bowls & cups & things to put in them (i use a bag that some squeaky "Parent Magazine" blocks came in--it's a perfect size for an airline pocket). There are many stories online about it. I also found she loved playing with my empty water bottle. If anyone else has a child under two, PLEASE do not use cough syrup--the government recently banned it for children under two years old and don't recommend. Whatever works! Best of luck and happy travels.

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S.C.

answers from Denver on

I have always used Dimeatapp for my son while traveling. My mom used to give it to us on her doctor's advice when we were kids and it was still a prescription medication. Because it is a decongestant it helps with head pressure and ear-popping on the plane. One to one and a half teaspoons should do the trick. Best of luck to you, my son is a ball of energy and we have had no problems with him as long as he stays entertained, or asleep ; )

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K.S.

answers from Boise on

Double check with your Dr., but alot of my friends use the chewable Dramamine for their children. Knocks them out. I was able to take it while I was pregnant, so I will be comfortable trying it on our daughter before our trip back East in August. If the Dr says it should be ok, make sure you try BEFORE your trip. Like Benadryl, it has the opposite effect on some children. Good luck!

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L.G.

answers from Fort Collins on

DVD player and lots of new videos, new workbooks and yummy healthy snacks. Ask for help from the flight staff to tell her the rules before take off regarding the selt belt signs etc (if she responds better to other adults). They would rather be part of the prevention team than the peace keeping team after the melt down. Maybe get seperate seats from your husband and take turns 'on duty' with her. Ask your pediatrian about other meds that might help if all else fails. Good luck

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M.P.

answers from Denver on

On plane trips I take many precautions:
1. Go to book store and get flip books, look and find books, coloring books, etc. I have the store wrap them up in colorful wrapping paper and the kids get to open them up on the plane.

2. I rent or buy a couple of new kids dvds and bring a DVD player. My three year old just liked playing with the machine.

3. If you want to spend the money I have bought little cheap toys at the airport...puts them in a good mood.

4. Lots of snacks! I bring snacks that they like and don't normally get...cookies, chips, etc.

Good Luck!

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M.M.

answers from Salt Lake City on

I have heard that Catnip is good for calming young children. I haven't tried it yet, but I will when I find some. Benadryl just makes my kids wild, so I've been trying to find something else. Good luck, some kids are just more, MORE than others. Hang in there!

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A.T.

answers from Denver on

Maybe postponing the trip until she's older is an option.

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C.W.

answers from Provo on

I think it would not be worth it to take this child on a trip. Having struggled with 2 hyper kids in the air myself, I would say wait until she is in better control of herself. In the meantime, it might be worth consulting a professional to try and get to the root of her problem. My son had ADDH and needed medication for a time.
On the humorous side, I will never forget when we were flying and my two year old daughter got away from me and crawled under the seat in front of us. She had a very fuzzy head of hair at the time and I guess she brushed up against the legs of the lady in front of us. Suddenly there was a loud shriek from the lady and I felt mortified as she asked the stewardess to move her to another seat.

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D.C.

answers from Salt Lake City on

My sister has this exact same problem and she is going to make a mock airplane in her home and practice making it a game.

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J.S.

answers from Provo on

I have hyper children. A friend of mine said "a full mouth is a quite mouth". But if you fill your kid full of sugar treats, you will only make the whole thing WORSE! So bring lots of things to eat, but don't give your kid sugar. Let her know that if she is good on the plane, at the next layer over she gets a prize. And stick to your word, don't give in.

Honestly if she is acting this way, you may want to practice before you go. I also have a daughter who passed out when she got mad. Don't give in. When say no, it is no, and sure they push the buttons, but over all it goes away. Your the boss, so don't let your 3 year old take over!

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J.K.

answers from Denver on

We took my son down under when he was 22 mos. The flight left at midnight, so the plan was to keep him up as long as possible so he would sleep most of the flight. It worked. He fell asleep right before we boarded and he woke up 8 hours later. I think you will be surprised how kind the flight attendants and even the passengers are toward little ones. We packed lots of snacks (never know when there will be an unexpected layover). We also had coloring books, DVD's, his favorite music, books and one of his favorite things was the kit you get when you board that had an eye cover for sleeping, a toothbrush, comb and ours even had socks. We also had a book on things he would see while we were there and he loved looking at the hop hops (kangaroos). Maybe you could have a picture book of all the people she will see while on vacation. Good Luck! It really is quite an adventure traveling with children.

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T.J.

answers from Missoula on

A long trip can be trying, even under the best of circumstances. What always works for me (I've been living as an expatriate for the past 7 years, and I know how trying long plane rides home can be with little ones) is a product (homeopathic) called "Bach Rescue Remedy" This is a completely natural product. Safe for everyone from babies, to expectant mothers. You can find it almost anywhere. Try an on-line search. Good Luck.

T.

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T.H.

answers from Denver on

I would definately talk with your doctor and see if there is anything he or she could give your daughter. Secondly, ditch the carseat on the plane. She doesn't really need it. Check it in so it is out of site out of mind. Try to get the seat in the front so she has room to move and pack lots of small toys and snacks for her. Good Luck.

PS. Don't let her be boss. You are the parent

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M.W.

answers from Fort Collins on

Talk to your doctor, he should be able to suggest something for the long trip.
It is too bad that at three she has not been taught to behave.
I had a screamer, and he would pass out and I ignored him when he did.
So don't fret, just ask your pediatrician and explain the problem.
I am sure your fellow passengers wouldn't appreciate a screamer.
Good luck hon.
Just ask the doctor.

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