Looking for Counseling/Phsychiatrist

Updated on August 09, 2008
L.W. asks from San Jose, CA
6 answers

My daughter was diagnosed with ADHD last fall. She was having major difficulties focusing at school and not doing her work. She was in Kindergarten and both the teacher and myself were concerned because she is very bright. I took her to her pediatrician and we started her on meds. Her report card looked like a different child started the year and ended the year! She did great! I have done lots of reasearch on ADHD as well as Asperger's Syndrome because she may be on the spectrum there also. My question is does anyone know of a good counselor or psychiatrist that specializes in ADHD, AS? The other thing is that I am a single parent. We have this MAJOR power struggle going on between us. For some reason she does not see me as an athority in her life. She will do what other people tell her to do but when it comes to me, she does not listen at all. My sitter, who she has been with for almost 3 years now, sees it and is baffled by it. I don't give in to her, I have taken things away and given her consequenses but she is still disresptful to me. Anyone have any suggestions???

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T.M.

answers from San Francisco on

I feel what you are going through! I too have been through this with my children. There is a light at the end of the tunnel!!! You will get through this! I moved here a year ago from Texas so most of our help came from there. However, we have been to the Center for Developing Minds located in Los Gatos. We went for general counseling for our son who had such a hard time adjusting to our move. The center focuses on children with learning and behavorial differences. You may want to check it out. One of the Doctors is Dr. Korb. I have heard wonderful things about him.
the web site is www.devminds.com Also, check out www.additudemag.com. I received their magazine and use their on-line site all the time. It's a great place to find some real advice from people and doctors who know about ADHD. Best of luck to you!!

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S.W.

answers from San Francisco on

Hi L.,
I am not sure where you are located, but I have worked with Dr. Korb in Los Gatos and he is great. His office has a variety of different support staff, speech, ot, etc. and they have experience with children on the AS. I work at a school and we refer families to Dr. Korb's office with great success.
S.

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S.U.

answers from San Francisco on

I would try the Children's Health Council in Palo Alto.

S.

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J.T.

answers from San Francisco on

Hi L. --

I'm a neurodiversity counselor in Palo Alto -- please contact me by email at ____@____.com and I'll give you the names of a couple of very good psychs who work with neurodiverse kids (I only work with older adolescents and adults). You're very smart to seek this help early...it will make a HUGE difference in how your daughter will fare later on. I know because my son, who has Asperger's, got early intervention, and he is a very happy, well-adjusted 15-year-old now. Kudos to you!

Also, definitely check out www.php.com -- a wonderful resource for all parents of neurodiverse kids!

J.

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T.V.

answers from San Francisco on

I am baffled as well, something does not add up. Your child is 6 years old and the two of you are having a POWER struggle? Because you are a full time student there must be a lot of homework in addition to your part time job. Your daughter probably spends more time with the sitter then she does with you. Therefore thinks of the sitter as the mommy (the authority figure).

I would consider two things:

· (If possible)cut back your schedule and spend more (one on one)time with your daughter.

· Change to another daycare, and then you will become the more familiar person in her life.

I would have your daughter re-evaluated by another pediatrician, regarding the ADHD. (A pediatrician could refer you to a child/family counselor. You can also contact Pediatrics at Valley Medical).

I am not in favor of medicating a bright and active child. I am in favor of motivating and channeling a child’s energy into positive activities in a structured environment.

Above all, YOU are in charge. There are certain things in which one does NOT negotiate with a child. (Allowing her to be disrespectful in a big one! She’s six now, if you allow it to continue what will she be like at six-teen)?

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M.H.

answers from San Francisco on

Hi L.,

When I saw your note, I thought I was reading about my own daughter from 8-9 years ago. I have a suggestion for you but will tell you it is very tough to find anyone good in this field--we are still looking. My now 14 yr. old daughter was diagnosed with ADHD at age 5 but is also suspected bipolar. She has high anxiety and has been very oppositional lifelong---we have dealt with the authority issue for most of her life--try reading The Defiant Child--a very good behavior management book with lots of practical tips you can implement today. Our daughter is on mood disorder medication in addition to ADHD meds and has been since age 7 as she had uncontrollable rages. We started taking her to a pyschologist and then psychiatrist when she was 7. Luckily we had good insurance then but most insurance companies do not pay even half of these doctors rates and they all charge $250 or more per hour. We went through 4-5 different psychologists and psychiatrists and they were all terrible! We finally just left our psychiatrist that we used for 5 years as she kept raising rates, giving our daughter more drugs and she isn't doing any better. So I would not recommend anyone we used in the past. We just started going to Stanford Child Psychiatry which is on most insurance and while they are somewhat disorganized they do have some of the leading experts in these childhood disorders and at least we only have to pay a co-pay instead of $300+ per hour. I don't know if you are close to Palo Alto or if your insurance has this coverage but that might be a good option. Good luck!

M. H

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