T.M.
I feel what you are going through! I too have been through this with my children. There is a light at the end of the tunnel!!! You will get through this! I moved here a year ago from Texas so most of our help came from there. However, we have been to the Center for Developing Minds located in Los Gatos. We went for general counseling for our son who had such a hard time adjusting to our move. The center focuses on children with learning and behavorial differences. You may want to check it out. One of the Doctors is Dr. Korb. I have heard wonderful things about him.
the web site is www.devminds.com Also, check out www.additudemag.com. I received their magazine and use their on-line site all the time. It's a great place to find some real advice from people and doctors who know about ADHD. Best of luck to you!!