Looking for Friendship

A.,
I would love to meet you and pamper you (NO COST NO OBLIGATION, just some good girl time) as a reward for all of the hard work that you have already done! Although this seems like an impossible time, congratulations to you for making the tough decisions and asking for help! I am an Independent Beauty Consultant with Mary Kay. Please contact me so that we may meet and so that you realize that you are NOT alone! My name is S. ###-###-#### or ____@____.com).

I'm sorry to hear of that. I would suggest finding a playgroup. Try www.Meetup.com and find a group in your area, I joined one in Surprise and have found invaluable friendships!

Hi A.
Don't get down on yourself, you have lread doe amazing things by raising yur childen.
moved to the west valley just two years ago not knowing anyone so I started a two business and what a pick up that has been for my life. One is a home business called Silpada Designs, it has been fabulous and definitly a great way to branch out and meet women not to mention the income. Go to my website and check it out www.mysilpada.com/traceywright-owen I would love to introduce this line of amazing sterling siver jewelry to you.
Lets meet!
The other business I started was a maid business - now this has been amazing all in its self. T.'s Maid Business.
Two totally different business to keep my life going. You see we are stuggeling in our marriage as well. It definitly helps to have other positive things happening. I know that if doesn't work out I can support myself and my daughter and we will be happy.

Would love to meet with you
Have a great Day

T. Owen
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I'd vote on joining an exercise class so you'll feel good and meet people.
Book clubs at the library or local bookstore is also a good way to meet people.

Hi A. I saw ur note about needing some friends. Friends are such a gift from God! I know ur going through a tough time and I'm praying for ya. Feel free to call me we can chat. I have 3 girls, 2 year old twins and a 9 year old.

God bless!
C.
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I work from home and LOVE it!

A.,
One of the best ways I have ever known for making friends, and I have used it whenever I move to a new location, is to get out and volunteer. There are so many needs within our communities. A few suggestions, a local food pantry, volunteer as a mentor, tutor at your local school, the Senior center in your community, the Child Crisis center, and even your local government as they hare having to reduce staff may have some volunteer spots. These are just a few. I have seen lots of ideas in the newspapers, especially your community newspapers.
Volunteering is a great wasy to raise your self image, get out and meet people and do wonderful things for those who could use help in meeting daya to day crises.
I wish you the best as you and your husband sort out your issues. I think you could find becoming a community volunteer very gratifying no matter what happens with you marriage.

Hey A., I'm also in Buckeye. Sounds like you have some interests and there are others who are always looking for new friends (like me!) so I guess my advice is to get out there and take the risk of making friends. It is hard for me to make/keep friends too.

Regarding your marriage - I'd like to suggest reading this book called "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands" (funny title, but it really is all about making YOU happier by making sure your husband is cared for so that he can then care for you, if that makes sense) I am hoping that by beginning to take charge of your own happiness and develop yourself more fully, you will again become interesting and attractive to your husband and life will become sweeter for all of you. Divorce is not always the answer. Working together (if possible) is the best thing.

You mention you like crafts, I am having an open house (Close To My Heart scrapbooking & stamping projects) this Saturday, if you're interested in coming. Send me a message for more details and the address.

Also Buckeye Clean Up day is this Saturday morning, maybe you could get out there with your family and do something worthwhile "not about yourself"

My suggestion would be to work on saving your marriage. Your children need both of you.

A.
I am so proud of you for realizing what you have to do for yourself so you can take care of your children.

1) If interested here is one of the best Marriage helps lines I have ever seen. Website called MarriageMax.com. His name is Mort Fertel and way better than a counselor if you are truly interested in saving your Marriage. Love can conquer all along with God and prayer in your life. It is amazing what can happen. Go to his website and view some of his stuff, maybe even sign up for his free emails. The 7 week program is amazing if his reality appeals to you. I've never heard anyone say it better about saving a marriage.

2) What area of town are you in? If anywhere near the North side of phoenix, email back would love to meet you. I too have a 3,4 and 8 year old and it's always great to meet new friends.

Take care and hope to hear from you soon.

M.

Where do you live? There are MOPS groups in Tucson. One is at El Camino Baptist Church on Pantano and Speedway. That is the one I go to there next meeting is May 13th at 9am. Come for food and fun. A great place to meet other moms of all walks in life.

Getting involved with your childs activities will kind of force you to meet with some of the other parents, use that to build relationships, but don't be pushy. If they are not currently into anything, it would be a great change for you both.
Frequent the same parks and play spots. If you have a dog, find a dog park in your area...then it's not ALL about kids.
Good Luck!

Good morning,

I am a 35 year old woman who works full time out of the home and who has a 14 year old son and a 2 year old daughter! I was a single mom for the first 7 years of my son's life. I enrolled my son in gymnastics class at 2 years old and now that he has been doing it for the past 12 years, I found my closest girlfriend of 6 years through gymnastics, as we could relate as mothers, "gym moms", being married, working full time while raising our families. My point, your childrens' activities are some of the best ways to find common ground with other people as it is a starting point. I would walk outside while my son was at practice, an hour 3x a week, to clear my head and stay in shape, giving me self-confidence physically and allowing "me time" so that when my son was out of practice I was ready to give him all of me and the best of me. My points are, there are always ways to take care of yourself while taking care of your children. You just have to find it in each situation! If you ever need a caring, listening ear, I would enjoy getting to know you as we already have our age, our son and daughter in common, not to mention the love of movies and chocolate.

R.
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Hey A.-

Maybe you can look for a moms group. THere is MOPS (Mothers of preschoolers) which is spiritually based. I met some great people in MOPS. If you aren't into the spiritual side try going to www.momsclub.org and looking for a Moms Club in your area. THis is just a club for social and educational outings for you and your children (proably just your 3 year old now). Good Luck , and I agree that you are very brave to take the step to ask for help/advice.

First off, I'm so sorry to hear about your marriage.

I am not sure exactly where you live, but there are several MOMs Club Chapters in the valley. http://www.momsclub.org/links.html#Anchor--Arizo-8787 I found several of my friends in my chapter and so did my sons.

If you've ever joined a sorority, you should look up the alumnae chapter. If you have never been initiated into a NPC sorority, you can become an alumnae initiate. Sorority alumnae chapters hold monthly social events, meetings, and philanthropic events for alumnae who range in age from recent college grads to 50+ year members. They also provide support to local collegiate chapters. I am Alpha Phi's Alumnae Membership Coordinator for the SW Region. http://alphaphi.org/index.html

Please let me know if you have any questions.

Someone else suggested www.meetup.com for mom's groups, but you can also find other groups on there as well-- pretty much anything that you are interested in is on there. I would suggest you find something else besides just mom-oriented stuff-- something just for you that you are interested in, maybe scrapbooking, exercise club (like a walking group or boot camp), a book club or whatever! You will be amazed at what taking some time for yourself can do for you and your relationship. I also had trouble in my marriage and I figured out it was me making myself miserable, not him. :-)

Hello A.,
I am truly sorry we are meeting on these temrs. Seperations are ruff no matter the situation. I am a mother of 1 amazing 5 year old girl. We get together with other moms for play dates once a week mostly on saturdays becuase of work.
Please feel free to email me so maybe we can get together for coffee or arrange a play date.

P.~

Where do you live? I'm always looking for friends.

I'm sorry to hear about your situation. I'm 33, and after a 12 year marriage, I got divorced just last year.
I know there are social events here in Rancho Sahuarita. You're in Rancho, right? Just go into the clubhouse, and check them out. You can always just go to the pool or the gym. I met lots of people that way. Another funny way I met most of my current friends (I had none when I was married, kinda like you :)) was on myspace. Now there's Twitter, Facebook, etc. I met my boyfriend on myspace. We've been together for about a year and a half! Try that. You can email me if you'd like also. My name's R.. I'd love to talk with you sometime, if you want.

first of all, I think you are very brave to reach out on here. It is very isolating being a stay at home mom. I need ways to make more friends too, so all of the suggestions on here are really good for me too.

I don't know if you are the praying type, but I was praying for answers to the very question you raised, and yesterday I was out walking and met a lady in my neighborhood who I had never seen before who had 2 younglings, and out of the blue suggested we should have a mom's group. So pray. You never know what will come to you.

The safest and most helpful option might be to find a nearby church with a support group for mothers..and if necessary later, single mothers. Almost all churchs have such support groups, under the guidance of a pastor or staff member, that help people make friends and deal with issues such as you describe for yourself. Even if you have no history with any church, you will be welcomed. Good luck for you and your children.

A.,

How about a date night with your husband. I know you said you might separate, however, our church is having a date night on Friday May 8th at 6:30 we are showing the Fireproof movie and there is child care available($5.00) If you are in the east valley or even if your not this might be a great place to meet friends and other couples going through the same things. If your husband does not want to attend you still should. I have not seen the movie myself, however, I hear it is amazing. I hope to see you there. Below are some additional details from the website of our church...................
Central Christian Church of the East Valley
GILBERT 965 E. GERMANN RD. ###-###-####
www.cccev.com

Fireproof Movie Night
Gilbert Campus Worship Center
Friday, May 8
6:30-9:30 p.m.
Free

FIREPROOF is the latest feature-length movie from the creators of Facing the Giants. The action-packed love story about a firefighter, his wife, and a marriage worth rescuing will have you on the edge of your seat as the main character explores God's design for relationships and marriage.

Central has partnered with the distributors of this film to bring a focus on marriages in our church and community. When was your last date night? Have you taken the time lately to make your marriage a priority or is your marriage in need of some encouragement? Commit the night of May 8 to you and your spouse and don't miss this event! It is more than the movie.

Register online(preferred) or in the courtyard between services April 25-26 and May 2-3. Movie is free. Childcare is available for ages 1-10, $5 per child.

Date/Time: 5/8/2009 6:30 PM - 9:30 PM
Contact: Leslie Wolek
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____@____.com

Hi A.-
My name is K. I am 30yr. mom to a 2.5yr little girl. I have a great moms group that would love to keep your mind busy. My email is ____@____.com We have all kinds of outings and it is a great place to meet some lovly and sweet women.
K.

Sounds familiar. Me and my husband just celebrated out 6th year anniversary but we have been a couple for about 8 years. Beleive me sepeartion is not easy. Me and my husband have had our share of problems and we have seperated in the past and I didn't know what to do with my self as the same happened with me. I isolated myself and became mom and wife and didn't really keep in touch with my friends or family. If i had something to do it was with my husband or for my kids. I quit playing sports with is something that i love to do and sort of lost myself. So when me and my husband decided to get back together and work things out I let him know that I was my own person and was tired of trying to be who he or everyone else thought I should be. And that he was either going to be a part of my life and vice versa or is was not going to work. I was not going to lose own self worth again just to please him or the kids. So now that i have taken control of my life again and getting back out there it has helped the marriage because I am a happier person and in turn makes the household happy. So I comend you for realizing that you are a wonderful person and you need to find yourself ONce you find yourself it will not only help your relationship but it will open up doors for you that you thought were closed. Good luck.

It's hard b/c we spend all our time on our families and then one day, you realize you didn't take much time for yourself. I have found a lot of solice in the ladies I have gotten to know over the last four years at my work. It is a part time position but I have made awesome friends. Church is another place to meet people of similar interests. There are many fun women's group activities. Finally, I have a friend who goes to a divorce group. Although you are not necessarily going down the divorce road, perhaps you can look into a separation group. I wish you all the best! Keep your chin up!