R.C.
"...but girls nowadays don't care."
What in the world? I'm sorry, but that really upset me. I was the 15yo pregnant girl with the 19yo boy. We met when we were 14 and 18 so I understand completely where they are coming from. I'm not 14 or 15 anymore, but I still get so angry at this kind of prejudice. Everyone thinks that a teenage mom is a bad mom and that just isn't true all the time. Yes there are bad moms that are teenagers, but there are also bad moms that are in their 20s, 30s, 40s, etc. Stop judging a mother by her age. I still get the dirty looks when someone does the math on my age and my son's age and realize I was 16 when I had him. BUT guess what, he was reading at age 4, and not just little books, but full out reading, and he is in the Talented and Gifted program at his school. He is well adjusted, smart, thoughtful, kind, and a great kid and I would like to think that I had something to do with that. I also have a beautiful, smart, sweet, caring 5yo daughter.
Ok, off my soapbox. The only advice I can give you being from the other side of the story is start small. Apologize for coming across as harassing, even if you didn't or don't feel you didn't. That girl is terrified. She is terrified of being a mom, of being alone because statistically the dad doesn't stick around long at that age. Mine did, been together 11 years next month, married 6 years in May. But so many girls I went to school with (finished high school) didn't stick with the baby's father. Oh, and not a single one of the girls I went to school with had the baby to keep the father or to have someone love them unconditionally!
Ideally no one wants to be a single parent. It just works out that way sometimes and with many friends who are single parents I applaude all single moms and dads. If it is hard to be a parent as a couple, then it is hard to be a parent by yourself.
Again, apologize. Enjoy making blankets or little booties or whatever for your grandbaby. Ask if you could have a copy of the ultrasound pics and then show them to EVERYONE. Ask if there is anything she needs. Does she need advice for morning sickness. Does she need help getting some baby clothes. Take her shopping for baby clothes. Let them know that your aren't there to be a parent, but a grandparent. Enjoy that. If they know the sex of the baby and have a name picked out or when that happens, make something with that name on it. A onesie with the name or a blanket, or a little wooden sign to hang. Be supportive. Swallow all frustrations that you have and vent to your support groups, your friends, your husband, this board.
If you want to talk more, email me ____@____.com
CONGRATULATIONS GRAMMA!
Becca