Looking for Info on Mastectomy

Updated on October 15, 2010
T. asks from Scottsdale, AZ
9 answers

Hi, My best friend has breast cancer and will be having a mastectomy in a couple of weeks. Does anyone know what the recovery is like? I've had a breast enlargement and told her how that was, but I have a feeling a mastectomy would be more painful since they are cutting muscle?? (I have no idea what a mastectomy involves.) Also, she lives across the country. She has declined my offer to come stay with her. (She wants us to have a girls trip instead) Any advice on how I can support her without being there??

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A.J.

answers from Phoenix on

My friend went through it before I knew her. We have talked about it and she tells me it was ruff, painful, emotional, stressful, and more. I will not pretend to feel her pain because simply I have know idea what it was like. reast are part of being and feeling women it is very emotional to loose them. Offer your friend support through just being there. You don't have to be with her to give her support. Maybe she will just need an ear to talk to and you can do that for her. Just being a friend is more than others might have. You'll do just fine! I am sending a prayer her way. God Bless

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J.J.

answers from Lawton on

When all else fails, and your friend has a great sense of humor.....

http://sweetlife4me-jp.blogspot.com/2009/09/bye-bye-boobi...

It was a great memory making evening. It lightened the moment and best of all everyone released some stress through laughter.

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C.Z.

answers from Phoenix on

If you get the chance to talk about it and if she has children of her own and even if she doesn't, encourage her to TALK, TALK, TALK about what is going on and what is going to happen. Having been a kid when my mom had her mastectomy, we didn't talk about "the cancer" and what was happening. This made everything much more trumatic when she got really sick then eventually died. She was "always getting better" then BOOM she died. This was so trumatic for me and made me very wary of doctors and especially hospitals as a kid. Tell her to be honest. Kids can handle more than you think. Treat it like the topic of sex...answer their questions and be truthful, but don't give them more information than what they ask for and let them know that they can ask about it anytime. Be hopeful, but above all be truthful. Prepare them for all possibilities as you would for anything in life.

I was 7. I could have handled it...if she could have handled telling me. But lying didn't help me. She did trust me with asking if I wanted to see her mastectomy...and although I know I looked scared and didn't know how to act at that moment I saw my mom's bare chest...to this day, I remember what her chest looked like and the scar where her breast had been and I am so thankful that she shared that "hurt" (of so many things) with me.

This may not be the advice you were looking for, but maybe in the end I guess I'm saying: Don't be afraid to ask the questions...and encourage her to not be afraid to tell the answers...You both may be able to handle more than you think.

With so much, -C.

P.S. Ask HER what a mastectomy involves...she may and want to tell you...or may not...but, don't be afraid to ask HER.

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J.J.

answers from Phoenix on

my Mom has breast cancer. she opted for a lumpectomy much to my dismay. I'm a nurse so I know what the repercussions can be. she did really well, hardly any pain, more like a soreness. luckily her cancer was found early so she just required radiation. to this point her pet scans have been good, except that the radiation got into her lung and she has had pneumonia 3 times. so last month a friend of mine had a mammogram. they did a biopsy right then and there and hand delivered the sample to pathology. she had a mastectomy three days afterwards. this lady runs 5 miles a day and rides herr motorcycle daily. she is very hard headed and extrememly active. she had stage 2 cancer and after the mastectomy she stayed in the hospital overnight and insisted on being sent home the following morning. the doctor installed a morphine nfusion pump straight into the surgical site and she had absolutely no pain. that was one of the reasons she felt so good. she went home and had oral pain medications for breakthrough pain but she only used it at night. she had the pump removed one week later and the hardest hting has been trying to keep her down. she says she feel like she is on house arrest. her husband has learned to do the shopping, lundry and houslwork in general which is something he never did. i guess the most important thing is to make sur she does what she is supposed to do and not supposed to do. but if she requests the pain infusion pump, i dont think she should have a problem. the best thing you can do is not be pushy. respect her wishes and always remind her that h\yo are thee to LISTEN. not give advice. dotn treat her like a child. she is an adult and she will make whatever chosices she wants. she ahs a lot of things to think about right now dont give her any more. just be there for her and listen and love her.

G.M.

answers from Phoenix on

Hi T.,
I'm so sorry to hear your friend is going thru that. What you can do to find out more about Mastectomy, is you can go to WebMD.com and look that up. There you should be able to find out what it all entails. How to support your friend from a distance is to remind her that you're there for her when she needs you. And of course make good on the girl trip! :-) Other than that girl, that's about all you can do and most of the time, that's plenty, knowing that she has a friend like you who is so concerned about her. More people need to be like you. Best wishes to you both. G.

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D.R.

answers from Charlotte on

My mom had a mastectomy years ago and she said it was the worst pain she's ever been through. Recovery was really rough for her not just physically, but emotionally as well. I hope your friend has someone around for her after surgery...she'll really need all the help and support she can get. I remember some of my aunts (who did not live in the area) sent her some inspirational gifts and it really seemed to help her out and lift her spirits. One of my aunts made her a cd with songs to inspire her and a book. Another aunt sent her stand up comic videos. Not sure if I advise that though...I remember her having to turn them off after a while because it hurt to laugh! Then again they say that "laughter is the best medicine". In my opinion the smallest things matter in that type of situation. Weather it a card or a phone call, just to let her know you're thinking of her can make a world of difference! Good luck to you and your girlfriend, I will say a prayer for her!

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C.L.

answers from Albuquerque on

My mom had breast cancer. She was diagnosed in Nov. 1995 or 1996. After several years, she had a mastectomy because the lump was so big it was taking over the entire breast and spread to her lymphnodes. She stayed in the hospital for a few days to make sure there weren't any complications. She was in a lot of pain and wasn't able to fully use her left arm for a long time. When it came to shots, IVs, taking blood pressure, etc., the doctors weren't allowed to use her left arm. She was still going through radiation and tried chemo once. My advice would be to see if she has someone to help her with chores, cooking, errands, etc. Call her to check up on her on a reg. basis. My mom was in bed for a while so it helped to have someone to talk to.

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H.Q.

answers from Great Falls on

I had an aunt who had a mastectomy. It's been a long time. But I remember there were exercises she had to do several times a day. It was to help heal or rebuild the muscle. The things I saw weren't hard. She had to stand with her side to the wall and walk her fingers up and down. And, that's all I remember about that.

When I was 14, I had a friend who was diagnosed with cancer and they had to remove her leg at the hip. I'll tell you what she told me. She said that people avoided her. They seemed afraid to come close to her. And, the friends she had that would come over to her avoided talking about the cancer. I guess they were afraid to ask questions. Maybe they were afraid it would make her sad - I don't know. I do know that I wrote letters to her all the time. I told her I was going to ask questions, but if she didn't want to answer them to let me know. She was glad that I was willing to ask and let her talk about her experiences and what was going on.

I know others have said to encourage your friend to talk. But, you have to be willing to ask questions. Ask anything you might wonder about. It will be a great learning experience for you (I'm SO not trying to make this sound like fun - but thru my friends experience, I learned a lot about chemo and ratiation that I didn't before know). But, aside from that, it will help her. It will make her understand that you care.

I wish you and your friend both, so much luck. If you can just be there as a sounding board, from what I understand, that is the best thing.

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