Looking for More Opinions: Private School Vs. Public

Updated on November 01, 2010
K.U. asks from Detroit, MI
14 answers

I posted a similar question a while back about private school vs. public school for my DD, mostly wondering about Catholic school, but have since decided that Catholic school is not for us. Where we live is a decent school district - some of the individual schools within in are better than others, of the 2 high schools DD would go to the one that is thought of as more desirable, but we also have the choice of taking her to any school we choose within the district if they have space. The high school does have a fantastic music program and a huge number of AP classes. But there are also private schools (Cranbrook, Detroit Country Day, Roeper, etc.) in the area with stellar reputations, but also very expensive. Because of money we've inherited after my dad, then my mom, passed away, paying the tuition would not really be an issue - and we would still have funds for college and retirement. I would like my daughter to get the best education possible, especially if it means challenging her more. But I can't be sure the money for the private schools would be worth it - my husband is not convinced. Many people have told me that where a child goes to school almost does not matter as much as how involved the parents are, and as long as parents make education a priority, their child can do fine wherever they are at. A friend of mine said that all public schools in Michigan are going to suffer as a result of the economy now, but she isn't sure she would want her kids going to school with kids from families that would probably be way more wealthy than theirs. My husband thought she had a valid point - he would want our DD to be able to fit in with other kids. We are not "rich" by any means, but we are comfortable, and the only reason private school is even an option is because of the inheritance we have received. But I also know my parents would be very pleased to know it was being used toward their only grandchild's education. I just want DD to also be happy, to feel like she fits in, and not constantly feel envious or like she is "missing out" because of all the other things her peers might be doing that we just can't afford.

My DD is 3 by the way - I don't mean to be overthinking this this early but it's been on my mind. I am also wondering about doing Montessori preschool for next year when she is 4 (she is in preschool through the school district this year twice a week) and maybe also kindergarten, then debating about public vs. private for grades 1 to 12 (or K to 12 if we don't do Montessori for K). Montessori is also still an option up through 5th grade but I don't know how easy it would be to transition to another school after that. Thanks in advance!

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K.B.

answers from St. Louis on

I went to Public and Private school growing up. I can tell you from my own experience that I actually enjoyed the Public school more when I got up into high school and probably would've done fine at the public middle school as opposed to the private middle school. I also did public school for my early years. I was still able to get into every college I applied to, had great AP opportunities and extra curriculars. Personally, I think that unless your in an area where you know the public schools are terrible, I would find another way to use that money (also keep in mind that college costs are increasing in alarming amounts every year. The 4 years I was in undergrad, my tuition increased 130% by the time I graduated in 2008. This is not even talking about if she ends up wanting to go to a more prestigious private university, where tuition is already close to 30,000 a year, or grad school which can add another 2-3 years depending on what she wants to do. I don't know how much you have, but it may be better to save as much of that as you can, since you don't know what costs will be like 15 years from now). If the public schools are good, I would stick with them. You are right that the most important part is you and your spouses role in her education. If you focus on education, support her, advocate for what she may or may not be receiving, etc., then you should be alright. The smaller class sizes can be beneficial, but I found when I switched around (as well as my mom found), that there really wasn't THAT much of a difference in class sizes with the private and public schools in my area.

Also, I would take this information on private school kids testing better then public school kids with a grain of salt. Private schools select which kids they want to have come to their school, usually through initial testing and an interview. Public schools do not have this option and have to enroll anyone who lives in the district. Private schools can also dismiss kids who do not seem to be taking their education seriously, where as public schools can't do that unless there is behavior problems (and even then the kids just enroll into another public school). So the comparison groups are really not similar to start with because private schools will admit the "higher achieving" kids and reject the "lower achieving" kids where as public schools have to take BOTH. (This is not to say though that there are not problem kids in private schools. There are plenty. It's just they usually will test better in general because that is how they got into the school in the first place, so that can't be compared fairly).

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L.S.

answers from San Francisco on

I am a public school teacher as is my husband (community college) and I send my two sons to a Catholic elementary school and junior high school. I teach adults who have graduated from all over the county, which gives me a pretty good sense of the quality of the schools. Some are excellent, but we do not live in the wealthier districts (two teacher salaries). We could do an inter-district transfer, but I do not really feel comfortable with having my children live in one community and then going to school in another. With this choice, I do feel that class and wealth could be an issue. We also have a nationally ranked (second place) charter school in our county, but I have a real problem with a lottery determining the future of child...great if my kids get in, but what about the rest....? It just feels wrong.

We are Catholic and wanted the spiritual side of our kid's development to be a part of their daily education. I agree with the woman who posted about being in an environment with families who share this value. It does not mean that we are all Catholic or all are of a particular political party...but it does mean that we value creating a peaceful, loving and faith-centered environment for our children. There are other schools that might challenge our children more academically and we briefly considered sending our kids to an accelerated elementary school because the are both academically advanced, but in the end we realized that education is not just about academics. I went to public elementary school and then private high school. One of the main reasons I became a teacher is because of the lessons I learned in high school about vocation and the need to give back to our communities. Our school is very diverse and reflects the community we live in. Not all the families are wealthy, but some are. Many of the parents are teachers, fire fighters, police officers, and nurses...in other words, a lot of people who have chosen professions that serve their communities. The students, even those in kindergarten, learn these lessons about service in very tangible ways. I am not at all saying that this is not part of a public or non-Christian school environment, but at our school it is woven into all aspects of a child's day and this idea of service is something that, as a family, we really value.

I know this is long, but I wanted to add that this choice is going to be determined most about who your child is. Honor who she is and you will make the right choice. There are extraordinary teachers and schools of all kinds and I am sure you will find the best place for YOUR child.

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B.M.

answers from Detroit on

Good Morning Kirsten!

Your DD is so blessed to have parents who love her so much to already be planning for her education! It is a difficult decision to make, and I pray that you get the information that you need to make the right one for your family.

I was a public school teacher in the Troy School district and my family lives in the Walled Lake School district, and we have chosen to homeschool. (Actually we would have liked to consider private school, but financially that was not an option for us!)

The main reason we felt we needed to take this measure is because since the passage and implementation of the "No Child Left Behind" legislation in 2001.. the focus of public schools is being forced away from educating our children to making them good test takers. Funding is tied to how many children are in your district, and when parents see things like "high meap scores" that's where they want their kids to go... so there is a lot of pressure on schools and teachers to look good to parents. And as long as your child is a good test taker, they do not worry about challenging the higher or more advanced student. The focus seems to be more on the average to low performing student to do better, while the higher performing students are left bored and unchallenged. (My son attended 6th grade middle school and was in the Advanced English Class... they read ONE book in 100 days of school!!!!!!) Also I have noticed that starting in about 3 grade (coincidence that this is when the MEAP starts?) that my kids are not being taught HOW to study, or HOW to do good quality work.

(A friend of mine took her son out of public school at 6th grade. In public school he was an A-B student. When he went to private school he was 2 years behind in Language Arts and 1 year behind in math.)

Another thing that I find disturbing in Michigan's public education right now is that our State government has cut the 20J funding that primarily went to the high performing schools of Michigan (Walled Lake, Troy, Royal Oak, West Bloomfield, Bloomfield Hills, Novi are some in Oakland County). The history of the 20J funding goes back to Prop A in the 90's (and I won't go into detail about it's history) but what it means for Walled Lake is that the state government has basically stole 18-22 Million dollars from the Walled Lake district over the next 2 years. (I am not sure what the exact dollar amounts are in the other districts, but it is not good!) They also have been decreasing the per pupil amount to all the school districts gradually over the last 10 years. We have already seen class sizes go up this year, lost our custodians and the bus drivers had to take cuts to keep their jobs, the district has gone "paperless" to save money... and they are doing everything they can to do things faster/cheaper. (The state government also had a brilliant idea to save money by encouraging the good mature teachers to retire, but that is a whole different frustration I have!) My fear is we are seeing our public education system getting worse before it gets better.

Over the past 10 years we have had politicians who know little about educating our children telling the districts how to do it, but giving them less and less money and resources in which to do it. We didn't want our kids' education to be compromised while the government is continuing to interfere with the educating of our children.

Sorry this is so long! And it is only one families experience and opinion from Oakland County. I hope that you find this helpful, one way or another!
Blessings!
B.

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M.H.

answers from Raleigh on

Personally, I believe that if your public schools are even half decent, there is no reason for private. If mom and dad are doing their job, then there should be no reason for your daughter not to succeed. While I'm sure there are wonderful private schools out there, I would never want my child in one. He will do just fine in the school system because I will help him to do fine (well actually better than fine, but you get the idea). I say use that money for something else, because to be honest, I don't think it's worth it.

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A.S.

answers from Denver on

What is your goal for your child's education?

The two things I wanted for my children was 1. Travel so they can see how small the world really is and 2. a second language

From there I went shopping for a school. Private was out for us because I'd rather spend any money we have taking them to other countries and experience other cultures. I also went to a private, secular school from preschool - 8th grade. The education was fine, the kids were not.

I looked for a language immersion program and found one in our public school system. The classes are structured similar to private schools and the language instruction has been tremendous for her verbal acuity. The math leaves a bit to be desired, but it's something we can work on at home.

There are kids from all walks of life, but being in the immersion program requires the parents to put in some effort. So even if the kids are from a disadvantaged background, the parents push their kids and want the best for them, just like all of us do.

In short, figure out what you want your child to know when it's all said and done and go with the school which will provide those things. And provide the things you can't. GL!!

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J.C.

answers from San Francisco on

Also you have to remember that in ten or so years the public and even the private high schools may be very different than what they are now. I don't know if I would get your heart set this far in advance, but planning is always good.

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A.M.

answers from Detroit on

FYI: Many of the kids at private schools are there on financial aid; the stats at some are one of every two kids at the high school level , although I am sure it varies. Interestingly, some of the wealthier schools have kids that pay less attention to money "stuff", whereas some of the middle class schools in desirable communities, even if they are public have an "attitude". I have experience with two children; make sure you visit and ask lots of questions, including those questions that reflect you and your husband's nonacademic concerns.

P.G.

answers from Portland on

Hi DVMMOM,

I have had my children in public school, private school, and home school. I definitely agree that parents are the most important part of framing their child's character.

That said, statistics show that children in private schools score much higher academically than children in public schools. Here's a link to a wiki answer to that question:
http://wiki.answers.com/Q/How_much_lower_are_public_schoo...

Your daughter will be attending preschool and you will make friends with parents who have older children. Believe me, they will all be eager to share their opinions about different schools with you. You have 2 more years to figure it out. One of the things I love about living in this country is that we can choose the education system that we feel is best for our children. And if one type of education system isn't working for your child, you can make a change.

Best wishes to you as you figure out the best choice for your family.

~P. G.
Owner, Portland Preschool Directory
Author, Mrs. G.'s Kindergarten
http://www.PortlandPreschoolDirectory.com
http://www.MrsGowing.com

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M.I.

answers from Miami on

You aren't worrying too early. Time has a way of sneaking up on you. Before you know it, DD will be ready for school.

Does your school system have magnet schools? charter schools? That might be worth looking into. For example, in my area there are 2 Montessori magnet schools. One of them just opened this year. My son transferred from a school with 1600 children to the new school where there are approximately 70 children in the entire middle school. He loves it!
However, there isn't too much difference in the curriculum in middle school. The lower grades tend to be more "Montessori".

S.D.

answers from Phoenix on

As for me, the private school is the choice because we wanted a Christ Centered education. It is not always because of class size and parent influence that stands..........it is also a huge willingness to be around a majority of Religious Families that are pretty much all supporting eachother to a Christ Centered Education. Having the less class sizes and such is just a bonus. We as families can get a better say in how things are run with the teacher and education when it comes to your child....however some private schools don't do well with resources for certain learning disabilities which is very very sad.

There is a lot to consider. We are very happy with our choice, but it is not perfect and I don't mean to make it be. We still have the pre-preasure, the families that don't attend church even though they say they do, the influences of mean kids ect.... It is there..........but we handle it . Good luck.

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C.S.

answers from Las Vegas on

I think it is the perfect time to think of education. That is about the time I began considering school for my own DD. I tried to talk to the schools, but they did tell me it was way too early, however not in my opinion.

For my own DD, I have decided on Catholic School. In Vegas, we are at the bottom of the education spectrum and many still think of this town as transient and only for the purpose of gambling. People still to the day ask, do you go to school there. I am native here, as well as my older daughter and 3 out of 4 siblings.

Our economy here, is and was one of the hardest hit. The effects of this fall h*** o* our school district and that worries me a great deal. Our classes are now over pact and it is not getting any better. The schools in my neighborhood are very good and have great reputations, however I still worry about her getting the education she needs. I was in public school as well as everyone else in the family and we all graduated, but this child is our las hurrah and we are a little older, so I want to be sure she is ready to go into this big world on her own when the time comes. As well, I figure if the tuition gets out of hand for us, I can always change her from private to public, but the reciprocal of that would be very difficult.

So for my October born five year old, I have begun the process to place her in what is most affordable for us, which is Catholic School. I am not concerned about keeping up with the Jones'. I have never been one to base my status on income. I am a government employee and my husband is a car sales manager. You have to like us for who we are =]

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A.S.

answers from Boca Raton on

All I can answer is that I, too, agonized over this type of decision. And still didn't make the right one!

The biggest lesson I learned (my sons are 16 & 13) is DO NOT be afraid to make a change if you see that your choice is not working well for your child (for whatever reason).

Because I moved schools as a kid, I desperately wanted to keep my children in the same environment without change. Well, this did not work so well! I ended up making changes with both of them, probably a couple of years after I should have.

You sound like a very capable, caring parent and whatever choice you make will likely be well thought out. Kudos to you for trying. My only point is that you may agonize and still go wrong - it happens. Just be ready to make adjustments if need be (and hopefully that will not be the case).

Good luck.

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H.L.

answers from Cleveland on

Statistically, kids have done better in private over public but attending in their elementary years is considered more beneficial than later years. What you may really want to look at is class size. If one has 25 students and another has 20, your child will learn more in a smaller classroom as they will be able to get more attention.

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S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

Private schools are not only full of 'rich' kids. MANY of those kids, are on scholarships or financial aide or the other family members helping fund it, too. Private schools, have kids from ALL walks of life and financial status.

Public schools... because of the economy and people losing their jobs... are also currently.... comprised of kids who USED TO go to private schools. They are now at 'public' schools, because parents can no longer afford private and their increasing annual tuition....

I know, because I see this at my daughter's school, which is public, and I talk to the parents. I also have friends' who's children go to private schools.... and many of them are on scholarships etc. NOT from 'rich' families.

There are also some GOOD public schools, "Blue Ribbon" schools... too. My daughter's public school, is one. In my area.
Or, parents often get a "Geographic exception" for their child, to go to a public school in another different district.... because they don't have a good public school in their own district....
So, that is another option, that parents do.

There is no one conclusive correct decision... except what you think is best for your child and financial consideration. AND parents always need to be involved in their child's education... public or private school.

I know many kids/peers, who went to private school. And then they are not necessarily "better" than those people who went to public schools.... nor smarter.

Whether a child 'fits in' or not.... depends on the child... and the parents role in raising a child with awareness and discernment and social skills and values.... and whether they want "religion" in their child's upbringing or not....

In any school, private or public... there WILL be 'bad' kids and 'good' kids... and rich kids or poor kids.... no school venue, is exempt from that. Nor the social problems kids encounter in school.

all the best,
Susan

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