Looking for Solutions and Suggestions...

Hi, I am also a first time mom with a baby on the way. My friend gave me this great book called Parenting with Love and Logic. She says it has done wonders for her relationship with her young son. Although you might want to get something more specific for 1 year olds and younger, I think the philosophy applies to any age.

Good luck,

C.

How wise of you to search for a way to bring some order to your baby's life at this age. Too bad becoming a mom didn't come with job training. We have 4 boys and have used a parenting series that has made a wonderfully huge impact in our lives. Everywhere we go we get compliments on how good our kids are, not because we are such great people, but because someone has figured out what really works to raise kids into productive members of society and has made that info. available to us! It is called On Becoming Babywise, also On Becoming Childwise and is available through Amazon. There are about 9 books in the series birth through young adult with the "On Becoming" titles written by Ezzo and Bucknam.

Theres a good chance he is testing you, which is so normal, I usually give a firm "No, no" when my kids do something I don't like or want them to learn. I also use my growly mom face too so they get the visual as well as hear it. Remove them from whatever they're doing and show him something else to do instead of pulling the kitties tail, squirting jam on the table or using mommies makeup.
If it's throwing tantrums & screaming, I'd put him somewhere like a playpen when he does this so you can walk away and not respond to his fits, and he's safe to throw his tantrum safely. But as soon as he's done I would go straight in and tell him something like "Now you can come out since you're not yelling anymore" and give him a big hug.
For some people this wouldn't work, but this is what I do with my kids. Take it with a grain of salt :)

This is just a quick response before I have to run out the door. First, I have a masters in educational psychology and working on my doctorate. My background is in early childhood development/psychology. Nine months is way too early for any kind of discipline except for redirecting. For example, if you don't want him to play with the stuffed doggie, show him some bubbles.
Have you taken him to a dr? Maybe something is going on medically. I would take him to his pediatrician before reading up on discipline (which is perfectly fine in due time).
Regards, ~AG~

B.,

Is he eating anything new or different? Sometimes fussiness like you describe can be food intolerances.

9 months is awfully young for any "real" discipline but I would recommend that you read the book "Positive Discipline for Toddlers." You could find it from amazon or ebay used or maybe even check it out at the library. It is a really good book with really practical advice.

Good luck!
T.

I was just reading about this very issue on Babycenter.com here is the link http://parentcenter.babycenter.com/0_the-discipline-tool-...

There are no discipline that you can give a 9 month old. His frustration is wanting to do more, not being able to communicate with you. Never are 9 mos old bad or trying to be difficult. He isn't testing you, that comes at 3 and he has NO concept of that right now at all. You need to find out if he is having tummy issues, if it is teething try the natural teething tablets, they settled my daughter right down and are all natural. My son was one that wanted to be held a lot and seemed "harder" then my daughter was but I can say something is going on if a 9 mos old is having fits for no apparent reason. Talk to his Dr too. Find soothers for him, sometimes it is a growth spurt or teething (which for some kids is really painful), right now just loving him, giving him the attention he needs is the best remedy!! There are several teething tricks, a cold rag (or one you have put in the freezer for a while) and let him chew on that, the teething tablets (they were life savers for me), small doses with permission of your Dr of Tylenol, even Oragel.
Hang in there....it is when they hit toddler hood the testing will begin! :)

At 9 months my daughter starting throwing fits, which is really early according to my Dr. She also started biting shortly thereafter. First, ignore the screaming so long as you know it's not pain or hunger related. After a few times he will know you won't give him attention for bad behavior. Second, is he teething??? Maybe try giving him some frozen fruit in the mesh food pods or try natural teething drops. I would also recommend you contact his Dr. and talk with them about what changes have taken place...they are the best place to turn for advice.
Signing Times videos have been great. At 10.5 months my daughter started signing and she is not starting to put things together. Signing reduces their frustration.
I would also check out 2 books. The Happiest Toddler On The Block and Toddler Whisperer. Both are great, I am reading them now.
Hope this helps.

I agree with the redirection. It works with my 17 month old and has worked with my 3 year old too. Keep him busy. Good luck.

B.,

I know exactly what you mean. I have 4 small boys. They say that distraction is best at that age but do not be afraid to tell him NO. Repeatedly. It is why that is one of the first words they learn but it also teaches them not to touch/do/get into/etc. Also, give him some boundries. Block off an area just for him to be mobile in with his toys and play things that doesn't have stuff for him to get into. It is a progression and continues from here. He needs to know where his boundaries are.

Redirection! Quickly redirect him to something else. My husband has always used this with our kids. They are now almost 6 and 3.5 and it still works. Im sure you can find tons of information about this online. This is just one tool I can suggest.
L.

How are his sleep patterns? Our son was much happier on a schedule than off. In fact, he still is that way even at 2 1/2. Also, if you work on putting him down awake rather than asleep he can self soothe which may help in his wakeful times. He might just be sleepy and these tips could help. Good luck!

babies do this normally. they go from sleeping a lot which is "sweet " to su to being more active and requiring less sleep. the most important thing is to make sure he gets a lot of attention, and that he is always albe to see someone when put down for an cativity. they have a lot of changes going on right now. teething introduction to foods and are more aware of their surroundings. they jsut need toknow that they are comfortable and loved. i think that they pretty much put us on their schedule but it is up to you to decide if it is a convenient schedule for you. and work around that. he may just have dicovered that if he screams , you will come and now you are trained to his demands. i think that if you prevent the situatons that make him scream and distract him with something else that maybe it will work. and not to scare you but it doesnt get anybetter. no matter what this age is way better than the teen years.

Don't get discouraged. I am currently experiencing the same exact thing & have been for the last month or so with my 10 month old daughter.I spoke to my pediatrician & he said it's stranger & seperation anxiety & they get over it between 12 to 18 months!!! I KNOW!!!! H-E-L-P!!! Some of things I do with my daughter that will sometimes calm her down is

1. I'll throw some toys on the floor & I'll sit on the floor with her on my lap & let her play

2. I'll take her outside or a walk while carring her

3. I'll sing songs or be silly with her

I hope that helps. Good luck!!!

B.,

hi! you should try sign language to help him express his thoughts...we are using it for my now 20-month-old son and it works like a champ. we rarely have fits and we never have tantrums. he is able to tell me what he wants! he now knows over 50 signs and he is a very happy baby. we started with more, eat, water as a few early signs and then went from there!

good luck!
-B.