Looking for Ways to Get My Picky Toddler to Eat.

you know I have a daughter that just started 1st grade also and my son will be 2 Oct. 10th and I also was thinking he is drinking too much milk he will only eat good on occasion, how ever have you been having a problem with him dumping food. My son will dump soup, cereal juice everything he gets his hand on he dumps it. It is so frustrating to me. I have found that if I make my daughter a bigger plate at dinner he will sit with her and he pretty well, when she is in the sharing mood. If you find anything that works please share.

Hi A.! It sounds as though your little guy is standing firm on what he believes in, MILK!!!! WOW! I guess as long as he's not hungry and is content with the milk all you can do is what you are doing. What would he do if there was NO milk in the house would he eat then? Keep me informed on what the Dr. recs.

A.,
I see you are 'trying' to hide things in his food... are you just putting them in there like a casserole? I read where you wrote he is just 'picking' them out....

Well, one way to solve that is to puree them and mix them into the food before cooking it... I do it as my DH isn't a big veggie person but he is getting them now. Shhh LOL

The other thing is KEEP offering them, I have read that it takes up to 20+ times for a child to eat something before he even can make the decision not to like it.

Just for example, my DD doesn't like tomato's... she will eat cherry tomato's and today we went to eat and I had Fried Green Tomato's and guess who had a few... Yep my DD!

The rule in our house is to take a few bites... about a teaspoonful. I do this everytime and I also remind her that she loved whatever it is I am fixing as a baby...

Just an idea... one more thing, what if you gave a lot of praise when he tried something he doesn't seem to care for.

Give him a healthy snack reward if need be to help him adjust if he eats what he is given... that reward of whatever it is... applesauce, yogurt whatever you decide make it a treat and entice him to eat what he is giving you a hard time about.

Remember too A., to do what is best for you and your family.

Well, you've already gotten a lot of good advice here. I was concerned that my son, age 3 now, wasn't getting enough to eat, and I asked my pediatrician (several times) about it. He just told me repeatedly that as long as he was following his growth curve, I shouldn't worry. He said all I could do was to keep offering him a varied and nutritious diet. You can't force them to eat. So after SEVERAL times of him telling me that, I finally relaxed and quit worrying so much.
Couple of other suggestions too though... Try to be sure that any time he's eating, it's something that's a good choice. I noticed that it's easy to fall into the habit of letting in junk food, particularly with snacks. I don't eat much junk, but my husband eats a lot of cookies, etc. (He buys them. I rarely do because I don't want them tempting our son so much.) He sees Daddy eating them and immediately wants some of course. I discovered that sometimes snack time is the only time I can work in the "good" stuff during the day. A lot of times I'll give my son veggies and hummus for snack, for instance. If I sit and eat it with him, it seems to help things along too. Or I'll make him a smoothie with OJ, bananas, and whatever other fruit I have on hand... throw in as many as I can! If it's winter and there is no good fresh fruit, I throw in a jar or two of babyfood fruit. It's much better than canned fruit often is, without all the added sugar. Another decent choice for snack is a cupful of dry cereal (not the sugary kind)... lots of choices there, obviously.
Next suggestion... don't let your son drink so much milk! Milk is very filling, and he'll never be hungry if he's constantly drinking milk all day. Juices can be filling too (especially OJ), so I suggest giving him water instead of milk sometimes. Less filling, and also good for the body so it's a good habit to start early.
Another suggestion... bribery! Ha! This is a daily standard in our house. "Ok, you can have more ______, but only if you eat your ______." It doesn't have to be all-or-nothing. A bite of broccoli earns a bite of bread (or whatever he loves). Emphasize that it's his choice, and don't make a big deal out of it if he chooses not to eat it. But don't give him unsuitable substitutions, like too much milk.
Last suggestion... we discovered that our son loves those little DanActive drinks. We first got them when he had a bout of constipation, because those are supposed to help you stay regular. Well, in our house they're called "special milkshakes", and when our son eats a good dinner, he gets a "special milkshake" as a reward. It doesn't always work, but generally it works great. If he doesn't eat his dinner, sometimes he'll still ask for his special milkshake, and I just casually remind him that he didn't eat his dinner... no scolding, no big deal, just no special milkshake because he didn't eat his dinner.
I don't know about your son, but with ours his appetite seems to come and go in waves. Eats like a bird for a few days, then eats like a horse for a day or two. I just keep the Dr's advice in mind and don't worry.
Good luck to you!
B.

Well, maybe I'm old fashioned but when it comes to my 4yr old's eating habits I figure he'll eat when he's hungry. I do not believe in making special food for picky eaters. He eats what we eat at meal time or he doesn't eat. I was a picky eater myself and was never catered to and I survived. When my DS was around 2yrs the pickiness started. What he's willing to eat varies from day to day. One day he loves pizza, the next he doesn't, one day green beans, etc. Once he was 3yrs we required a certain number of bites at dinner before he could leave the table. If he doesn't eat more than the required bites he doesn't get anything else to eat before bed, except fruit. He takes a daily vitamin and his weight and growth are fine. I did and do let him decide on his lunch, usually a sandwich of some kind. We started off obsessing with PB&J, then just cheese, and now turkey & cheese. This way he could feel like he did have some control over what he ate. But what's for dinner is what's for dinner. I do try to make 1 dish that he'll eat so that there's something on the table he likes (we had mac&cheese and lot for about a year and then were able to try other pastas like the tortellini). BUt I do not cook separately for him. (My mother-in-law would and will if I don't talk to her about it almost constantly.)
At 2yrs he was still drinking a lot of milk. I never limited the amount if he asked for it but I did start limited the time he had it. He would drag a sippy cup around all day pretty much and ask for more whenver it was empty. If he set it down for more than 10minutes I would put it in the frig. Once it was out of sight he usually wouldn't ask for it for a while. I slowly started offering him applejuice instead of milk when he ask for a drink particularly close to meal times. It's less filling so it didn't fill him up like milk. I'm always careful to buy 100% juice with no added sugar. He drinks orange juice now too.

Alecia, it sounds as though your son is basically healthy in spite of his limited diet. Don't worry about it too much right now.

Theresa C. has given you some excellent pointers re: cutting his milk to skim. Although he may look and act healthy, the excess fats in whole milk can create a dietary train wreck in not checked. Years ago, when my son was a baby, he developed a few food preferences and peculiarities, too. I was fortunate to have a very wise pediatrician who told me, "Don't worry about it. The human body knows its needs better than the human brain. His body craves foods right now that provide some dietary need. His body will eventually begin to demand various other nutrients and he will begin to eat new foods to satisfy that need."

It's sort of like when you are hungry but don't know what for and you eat several different things trying to satisfy that hunger. It's your body telling you it needs something it's not getting.

You do want to encourage your son to try new foods, though. Offer him a new food and, as suggested, tell him to eat one or two bites of the new food before he gets his mac and cheese. Since green beans is his lone vegetable, you might want to start with the veggie menu. Whatever you do, don't try to force him to eat different foods. You can create a veritable phobia about a particular food and he will never eat it.

Do you make his waffles fresh or are they toaster waffles? If you don't make them yourself, you might want to consider doing so. It's almost as fast as sticking them in the toaster and they are far more healthful. With home made waffles, you can make them from whole grain wheat flour or a blend of regular and whole grain. You can add blueberries or chopped strawberries or cherries to the mix as an easy way to add some variety to his diet. (Don't be surprised (or distressed) if he picks them out, though.) You say he eats bread. Consider making fresh bread and letting him help. This way, if he decides he likes the product of his own kitchen, you can start sneaking those pureed foods into the bread.

Actually, he seems to have settled on a fairly well-rounded group of foods. You can mix up the type of hot dogs - beef/chicken/turkey/pork/mixed beef&pork - and he's getting pretty much the same dietary meats that most people do. He's got a healthy dairy consumption, obviously! The waffles are giving him his grain. And, if you can encourage him to eat more green beans, he's really got a pretty well-rounded diet!

You say he is growing well and is normal weight. That, alone, is not the whole picture, which you obviously know or you would not be asking about his diet. My only concern would be a lack of adequate nutrients and fiber in his diet. Talk to your doctor about adding a vitamin supplement to his regimen. If his bowel movements are regular and daily don't worry about a fiber additive but, if not, buy a powdered fiber supplement to add to the waffle and bread mix .

Bottom line: Chances are, in a few months or a year or so he will begin expanding his diet on his own.

His crying fits are another concern. Make him understand that, crying is not the way to get what he wants or he will utilize that modus operandi whenever he doesn't get his way and you will have to deal with fits of crying over everything. If he wants milk at 2:45 p.m and you are not read to give it to him, tell him "Not yet." If he starts crying, tell him he must stop crying or he cannot have his milk. Then show him a clock and point to 3:00 p.m. Tell him that is when he may have his milk. This gives him a specific target to focus on. Tell him to come to you and let you know when the hands on the clock are in the right place. This also can be a great tool in teaching him to tell time so you win twice!

Whenever he asks for milk, other than at meal time, give him a time on the clock, a few minutes into the future, and tell him that is when he may have his milk. Gradually, you may be able to wean him of his craving for milk. But, in the meantime, chances are there is something his body is needing which the milk provides.

Last time: Don't worry. He'll be fine. He's got you to guide him.

I have the same problem with my four year old. This may sound mean but I offer her her meal if she doesn't eat then that is her problem. My Ped said they will not starve herself. At dinner time when she refuses to try her dinner I let her leave the table. I leave her plate on the table and when she says she is hungry I point to her uneaten dinner. 9 times out of 10 she will eat it. I used to make her something else but that is just crazy we eat good healthy food and there is no reason for her not to eat it. I couldn't imagine telling my mom and dad I didn't want to eat my dinner and ask for something else. I think we all baby our kids too much. I know I do but I have tried not to so much. I don't want her to be 15 thinking she is in control of my house.

Well, I am right there with you with my 23 mo old. My son doesn't like white milk tho- only chocolate milk or milk with carnation instant breakfast. He is also picky with food (forget meat altogether!) and we dance around a pretty nasty egg allergy. It can be so frustrating! Things are starting to get better tho. Have you tried other drinks with him? We recently had surprising success with V8 Fusion Light Peach and Mango. It isn't as high in sugar as other juices and gives him his fruits and veggies, so I don't complain. :) Good luck!

Does he like cheese? Shred a little over veggies. When my daughter was that age I would hide carrots in ravioli and spaghetti. I would cook canned carrots, and then mash them up with a fork until they were a thin consistency and then add them to the sauce. I ate it myself and never tasted the carrots. I think the texture of cooked veggies gross out kids. If he likes ranch dressing, you can do the raw broccoli, carrots and cauliflower dipped in ranch. If raw veggies are too hard for him to chew at this age, you could steam them a little. They are softer, but not mushy. My daughter loved that! Also let him try what you are eating, if it's something different than he is having. As my daughter got older, we did not fix her anything different to eat for supper. She ate what we ate for supper, or she didn't eat. If she was hungry, she would eat. If she chose not to eat, that was fine. But if she wanted something later, we would offer her the same thing we had for supper, heated up. My pediatrician actually gave me that advice. She(my ped) said "she won't starve if she misses a meal". I know that sounds harsh, but if your son continues to refuse to try anything, and you give in and feed him the same old things he will get used to that and never develop a taste for anything else. If you give in to picky eating it will only get worse as they get older. I have a friend that all her 1st grader will eat for lunch (every day of her life ) is pepperoni's and potato chips. My friend says she wishes that she had never let her daughter dictate what she would and wouldn't eat. I'm not saying to force him to eat things, just sort of trick him into trying new things....have him try a bite of something new first and "only" after he's eaten that, let him have a bite of his favorite foods. Go back and forth like that until he finishes it all or when he's full. Kinda make it a game. Also my Dr. said at that age, as long as they eat a variety of food during the week, not to worry too much about day to day fare, as long as it evens out over the week. Ask your own Dr. though, it may be different now, my daughter is 7 now. As far as the milk goes...do you think he would still drink it if you added a little water to it, or changed to a lower fat content, like 1% or skim? I'm assuming he's drinking whole milk. Good Luck! I hope my advice helps a little. All kids are different and develop their tastes for foods their own way. But it's up to us (the parents), not the kids, to make sure they eat the right things.

How about those little spinach and cheese tortellinis? You can't even see the spinach. My DD loves them!!! Also, I make quesadillas with finely shredded chicken, carrots and spinach. At that age my DD also liked garden burgers (cut up), just about any fruit, chicken nuggets, fish sticks, mashed potatoes, cheerios, apple sauce, string cheese...
Will he eat any pasta with sauce? I've seen recipes that use the vegetable baby foods as part of a pasta sauce, maybe he'd eat that??
Good luck and keep trying - it make take many, many attempts before he eats something new!
M.

Hi A.-
I know there are some recipe books out there that contain kids favorite dishes and ways to hide nutritious foods in them. Take your son's favorite mac and cheese-you could puree some steam cooked cauliflower and mix in the cheese sauce and he should not notice a difference. I saw these recipe books at Borders.
A favorite of my 14 month old is tofu smoothies. I take firm tofu - child size portion and mix it with a little milk, a fruit serving, an orange veggie (carrots, squash-they are usually sweeter and complement the fruit), cinnamon and a little curry powder and my son just loves it. No need to add sugar. He's a pretty good eater, but he is starting to get picky. This smoothie packs great nutrition and it's low in salt and other bad stuff.
Good luck! P.

There are a lot of good suggestions here.
I would definitely cut back on the milk, give him water, and keep offering foods to him. Reduce the mac and cheese, and stop giving him hot dogs and cut down on the bread too. In place of the hot dogs, you might try rolled up roast beef or smoked turkey; wrap it around the green beans instead of on bread. (Have you tried sweet potatoes with maple syrup or cinnamon?? My kids and grandkids love that and it gives them an extra veggie.) He WON'T starve himself!!
YOU as his parent have to take control, and although you can't force him to eat, he will on his own when he gets good and hungry. The milk and the carbs from the waffles and bread are probably filling him up, so the goal is to gradually steer him toward other foods that are better for him.
The longer you allow him to dictate to you and give in to his tantrums, the harder it will be later on, not only for dietary concerns but for everything else he'll want. Start enforcing boundaries, and don't budge on certain things. He won't die from not getting his milk, and he doesn't need more than four cups a day. If he's taking it from a bottle, it's time to get rid of it, and start having him drink from a cup, and NEVER let him drink milk just before bed or take a bottle into bed with him.

Wish you luck. It's hard but can be done. Even if he only picks out five or six foods that he'll eat regularly, as long as they're healthy foods, don't worry.

well, the things you have been feeding him are not healthy in any way. Hotdogs are the worse thing you could be giving him and the mac and cheese also. I'm sure it would not hurt if it wasnt everyday, but it appears to be everyday. At his age he needs meat and fruit and vegtables and whole grain. have you tried whole grain macaronni? And you could make a fruit salad and try that.you could try carrots or brocolli in ranch dressing. The thing is not to let him tell you what he's going to eat, that puts him in control and makes him think he's the boss of whatever he eats or drinks. And that is way to much milk for him to be drinking, he needs water! And you could try some all natural juices to.i would deff. make some changes to his diet, because he is not eating healthy at all at this point. And dont forget to brush his teeth at night, because that milk will rotten his teeth if you dont. hope this helps, good luck,stay positive and in control.

Suggest that you

1. Give him a multi vitamin and mineral to prevent any deficiencies. Something like Flintstones multivitamin and mineral. His current diet lacks iron.
2. Get elmo's cookbook tape and watch it with him.
3. If you are giving him his milk in a bottle, change to sippy cups.
4. Keep introducing the new foods. Small children's tastes change frequently.
5. Make the food fun. Make creatures out of vegetables. Watch Elmo's cookbook and you will get some ideas.
6. Remember your responsibility is to provide food. IT is their responsibilty to determine if they will eat it and how much. They will not allow themselves to starve. (my daughter hates carrots. One day when we were driving home from MI to TN, all that was in the car was apples and baby carrots. She was tired of apples and kept sneaking my carrots. She ate half the bag. Now she eats raw carrots. BTW that day, she was told she could not eat any of MY carrots. She is 7.
7. When you offer new foods do so in small quantities and don't pressure him to eat more then a taste. It may take up to 10-15 times to get him to accept the new food. This is common for 2 year olds. Sometimes you need to sneak it in. Carrot cake, zucchini bread, chicken/turkey burgers, smoothies, etc.... But you have to at least grate them up.
7. Gradually cut back the milk to only 3 cups per day. Walk away when he starts to cry. Tell him he needs other foods too. Start where he is then start by giving him smaller servings;then fewer ones.
8. I would also gradually change to skim milk as well. He is getting alot of saturated fat in whole milk. Start by changing to 2 percent milk mixed with whole (50-50 mixture) for a week or so; then 2 percent for a week; then 2 percent mixed with skim (50-50 mixture) for a week; then skim. He will accept the skim milk better.
9. But relax. He will out grow this. Just keep reintroducing the food.
10. And try having him help you in the kitchen. I used to have my daughter crack the eggs when I was baking when she was 2. She mostly watched me bake. Now she cracks the eggs, measures and adds the ingredients, and helps me pan the final product. I just run the mixer for her. I put alot of fruit and veggies in my cakes, pancakes and muffins. I also add soy infant formula to them as well. My daughter is dairy and gluten intolerant, as well as picky. BTW she loves milk too and would consume it like your son if I let her. She understands that she can only have 3 glasses of soymilk a day.

Other than not giving in to a picky eater and offering only what the family is eating, I don't have a great cure. Maybe tempting him with a special treat after he eats what is offered (i.e. ice cream or another desert) would be helpful.
I would be concerned with the excessive amount of milk he drinks. My youngest went through the same thing. He drank about a gallon per day for several months (at about the same age), and that kept him feeling full. It took some time, but he eventually gave in and accepted getting three 8oz servings daily. The extra calcium he was getting was not helpful either. It caused his B.M's to be irregular and he is my only child of four to have broken a couple of bones (from playing sports). I was told that the excess calcium would cause his adult teeth to have white spots on them, but they came in fine. I guess that would have happened if we hadn't cut back on the milk intake when we did.
It's not going to be easy making the changes, but you can do it.
Good luck,
L. C.

I never gave my boys the choice to be picky. When they switched to table food, they ate whatever I fixed for dinner, cut up real small, or they got hungry. I don't have time to fix something different for everyone. I also have a rule that they must eat all their veggies if they want seconds of anything or dessert. It's usually not an issue. My 8 yr. old will even eat broccoli, which is the only food he hates, to get dessert. Since your little one has already set a pattern it will take some time to adjust. You set up the rules and he will come around. Good Luck!