Loss of Pregnancy - How to Help

As the below mom suggested; a card with an added personal note saying something like 'If you ever need to talk I will listen, if you need a hug my arms are open, if you just need someone to sit with and to hold your hand my door is open.' That way she knows you are not going to try and say something to make her feel better BUT you will be there for her.

If you want to get her a small gift maybe a bracelet or necklace (religious cross, angel or have it in a favorite color of hers... whatever her style is) to be a remembrance of her angel, it does not need any special charms unless she likes that type of thing.

Miscarriage is a VERY hard thing to go through. Having been through 3 myself, I suggest that you send (or hand) her a small flower arrangement with a card. Tell her that you're sorry for her loss and that you are there if she needs you for anything. Offer to talk, just sit with her, or whatever.

Or you could get her a small gift that contains the birthstone of her baby's due date with a card. Then she will have something to remember the baby with.

I think letting her know you are available to talk is huge. There are going to be people who will say things to her like..."well, it's for the best". or 'you didn't want the child anyway..."...they don't mean it as harsh as it sounds, but to a grieving mother it's horrible. Buy her a card and write a note about how sorry you are and that the door is always open. Just knowing she has someone who will let her talk and not try to say things just to make her feel better, (and sometimes they won't), will be huge.

As a mom who miscarried the best advice i can give is don't expect her to just get over it. It is a real loss, of someone that is loved. My friends walked on egg shells and avoided talking about the loss and that made me feel like my loss wasn't real. Two years after my loss one of my friends finally confess that she never talked about it cause she didn't want to say the wrong thing and truely didn't understand how I felt. On the third aniversary of the child I lost she gave me a beautiful necklace with my childs gem stone of the month we lost him/her and also a stone with the month they would have been born. It was the most special thing ever and really closed that gap of loss and started the healing process for me. Be there, let her talk about it, don't minimize her pain, help her get through the month of the death and also the month the baby should have been born, and buy her a small gift to symbolize her child.

When I miscarried the best gift I received was when a lady with kids who had never had a miscarriage said "I don't understand what you are going through but I will be here to listen and support you in what ever way you need." At that point I felt I had permission to cry and didn't have to sympathize for another mom who had been through it or anything I could just grieve. She had invited me out for coffee and I shared about all sides of my feelings, at first not wanting my baby but growing to love it and then the pain of letting go. Also hugs are good.