Love and Logic Mama's...need Some Help!

My mantra is "this too shall pass." LOL

It always gets worse before it gets better, just so you know. Also, my main thing is not to expect perfection. Sometimes I think we give them too much credit for understanding what they're doing when they're really just little creatures lost in a big world.

I think you're probably doing great! =) Love and logic has worked wonders for us, though we're currently going through a VERY challenging time with our three-and-a-half year old girl.

Oh, and feel free to discipline him for things that he does, even if you don't catch him at it. If he's the lone suspect... =) But discipline doesn't necessarily mean punishment. If he pulls everything out of the drawer, have him help clean up. He'll have fun being big and helping Mom, but he'll also be learning that when he makes a mess, he cleans it up.

Just my two cents. Good luck!

We use L & L - but didn't start until son was 5......we use uhh ohh....this creates quite a reaction now....he knows that we mean business when we say this.

Sounds to me like you are doing good job...other suggestions from our teacher (went to seminar)....His son was about your sons age....and he got into the plant and was playing with the dirt....he said uhh ohh someones in the plant and needs a little room time. He took son to crib and left him there for 2-3 minutes....went and got him....gave him some love. Then sat him right back down by the plant. Opportunity to see if the learning had occurred. He didn't say don't play with plant...etc. Son will figure that out...Anyway son played with plant again.....father said uhh ohh - again picks son up back in room 2-3 minutes....loves him up...takes him out sets him down again by plant. Guess what son got it...never played with plant again. So this might be a suggestion for dogs water bowl...

Good luck.

First let me say you are doing great! I'm not bashing and please don't take anything the wrong way, since I only have a minute to type this, but I would recommend reviewing 18 month olds capabilities, so expectations meet ability. I've never read L and L but I do know, from experience, time out's and natural consequences at this age don't really work. They just don't have the associations yet. That's what we are just starting to teach them. Punishments I believe that go with this age are distraction and redirecting. There is a Huge development jump from 18 months to 2 years and closer to 2, that's when the time outs start working. For eating, I know I just started letting my 17 1/2 month old start having a plate and a spoon and if he throws it I just don't give it back, not take away the meal if I know he is still hungry. They are little scientist right now and testing gravity and physics is one of the most exciting experiments out there :) Plus seeing how mommy reacts!

To finish, any mom who questions what they are doing and tries to get better is the best mom in the world!!! You are doing a GREAT job even if things don't go quite the way you want them to. Keep learning! I'm sending you lots of hugs and encouragement because I know this is a very hard age as my 4th toddler is pushing more boundaries then all of his older siblings combined :)

I agree with Lauren and Sheryl, requiring him to clean up the messes he has made is a learning tool and can be his consequence. He is not too young to understand, he gets it. We started love and logic a few months ago with our 4 year old and it has helped so much, I wish I had known about it when he was younger. We have a 10 mo old now and I use very basic L&L with him and he gets it. I think at 18mo old, your son will respond well to the uh oh song followed by a time out (we also don't like to use the bed as a time out spot). When you are doing your chores, he is old enough to help out so his hands are too busy to get into mischief. He can put the silverware in the drawer, help fold laundry, wipe the floor or cupboards, etc.

I have asked love and logic questions on here and I usually get lots of responses from people that don't understand the system so be prepared for some comments that might be rude. :) Love and Logic is on facebook, you can post your questions on their wall and get responses from people who know the system.

In agreement with some of your other responders, please make sure that you have age appropriate expectations of behavior. Some of the examples you gave of misbehavior could have been avoided by childproofing, making sure objects were out of reach. I think there needs to be verbal reminders that may help your child to avoid certain situations, such as not to touch something, as well as distractions to avoid failure. Some of the examples you gave seem to reflect toddler curiousity but they may also be attention getting--so make sure playing and interacting with your child is a priority. FOr instance, set him up with an activity in his high chair and place the chair near where you are making lunch so you can talk with him, and so he wont get in the dog dish. (You can by the way set the dog dish out of the reach until he is a little older.) I think it is wise that you want your child to have limits, but just make sure you are using appropriate methods for his chronological age. By the way, I am a professional in the area of early intervention.

He sounds like a typical, curious toddler. How fun to unroll the TP, empty a drawer full of things and take a bath in the dog water! AND I am so happy to hear you are NOT using his room or crib for a time out. Kids' rooms should be a happy place...otherwise they will end up not wanting to go to bed. As far as the throwing the spoon, don't give it back. He will test to see just how many times you will pick it up LOL! Kind but firm, consistent redirection with natural and logical consequences. Sounds like you have it down! Good job!

Sounds like you've got a smart, active boy on your hands! You need to continually childproof and supervise and quickly swoop in to physically move him away from the mischief while commenting in a neutral fashion that indicates your love and that you as a parent will help him out. He also needs a lot of attention and your playing with him, getting him outdoors when you can etc. will help with this need and his energy level. I would keep anything negative to a bare minimum, like letting him know when he hurts you but not expecting him to totally get it yet. Prevention, supervision, interpreting to him what's going on, and not expecting too much for his age are important. You may be trying to get too much done when he's up and around. With some kids you just can't. He reminds me of my oldest who wore me out but is a successful doctor today. Good luck!

I've read recommendations for PWLL but haven't read the book so I have a sincere question - do they really recommend this for an 18 month old? IMO that's far too young for time-outs. I would question the veracity of any book or program that recommends techniques that are beyond a child's developmental readiness. I think it's too much to expect that a baby will see something wet like the dog's dish, remember that it's wet and that being wet is uncomfortable, and will then use that memory to refrain from playing in the water in the future. Heck I'd be happy if my 12-year-old thought that far in advance!