Lowsy Daycare Rule What Would U Do?

I wouldn't send my child to a daycare if I disagreed with such basic rules as food. You chose to send him there; you chose to accept the rules. If you disagree with the rules, find somewhere else.

I'd either hope it would broaden my kids "picky" eating habits or I'd find a new daycare.
(Nothing you've listed sounds all that "exotic," actually. But my kid was eating that stuff at 3.)

Then he needs to try to learn to try new foods. I understand the rule about no outside food, for one kids that age are not good about not sharing and some allergies are life threatening. Start making it a rule at home that at meal times he needs to at least taste a dish before discounting it. This really helped my picky eater expand his tastes. Also, don't let him eat a bunch after school, just one small healthy snack, he will learn that unless he wants to be hungry he needs to eat. Also, many kids that young don't really need 3 meals a day, my son often eats a large breakfast and lunch and does not want dinner at all, so if he is eating a good breakfast and dinner then lunch is really not that important.

There are so many reasons outside food is not allowed. Allergies, they do not know if you follow the stringent health codes that they have to follow for licensing. . Or the sharing issue.

I am going to guess the other children eat what is served.. Sure, they may go a few days or a week of not eating, but I bet they eventually get on board.

If this day care does not work for your child, I guess you need to find a new one.

At least now you know to look for a place that will allow you send food from home.

Honestly, it sounds pretty typical to me.

My son went to two preschools. First a traditional daycare and preschool from infant through pre-K, then to another kind of "hippie" preschool for one more year before kinder. At both schools all kids ate what was served whether it was pretzels or hummus. Period. Some kids rejected some foods, but they all ate something. Even picky DS at SALAD at both schools even though he won't touch a leaf of anything with a ten foot pole at home.

The option to "fight this" doesn't really exist. You need to "go by the regulation" go elsewhere.

My advice is to make an appointment to talk to the director so you can better understand WHY they have the policy and what exactly their food program serves. What if kids don't like it? What if kids are hungry? etc. Then ask for her help and guidance about what to do with your picky eater. I'm sure your son is not the first child ever to say he doesn't want the food.

Good luck.
T.

he's been there a month. he hasn't starved. he knows snack time will come soon enough and he's willing to wait. he's fine. yes, you let him go hungry. because he's not that hungry or he'd eat it. maybe someday he'll actually try it and realize it's not that bad. otherwise, yeah...he will skip lunch, and be fine.

If they are getting their meals subsidized through the USDA program, there is only one way to get around their meals. Which is to get a doctor's note. (I had a preschool and have sat through the presentation on this program.)

If it's just picky eating, work with him to ensure he's eating at least one thing on his plate. Tell them that if he is eating just ONE thing, to give him seconds, thirds-- however many helpings they have available and not to make him clear his plate before seconds.

If you think it's textural, then go see your pediatrician and have him evaluated if possible. Unless the program in PA is radically different than ours in Oregon, this may be a way to supplement his diet.

So, if you want to fight it, fight it within their regulations. I can't imagine the daycare wanting to have a child go hungry from morning snack until afternoon snack. Personally, it sounds like pretty high-falutin' fare for kiddos. The daycares I worked at usually served kid-friendly foods like chicken noodle soup, home made mac and cheese, grilled cheese sandwiches, spaghetti, burgers, etc. I'm not saying it's ideal, nor what I would choose to serve on a regular basis, but not what I'm used to in a CDC environment. They do usually try to serve to the largest common denominator, as it were.

I am a horribly picky eater... Always have been. I will (And have on more than one occasion) gone hungry all day if there isn't access to food that I like. If I have to go longer without food I will if it means that I don't have to eat something that I don't like it. When I don't like something it isn't a 'Eh, that's not my favorite' or 'Eh, that's kind of gross but I'll choke it down' reaction... It's a 'Oh my god, must spit it out before I literally puke' reaction.

So the 'He'll eat it if he's hungry thing'... It wouldn't have worked on me as a kid. I'm not saying that your son is like this... I'm just saying that every kid is different and your son could be like me.

That said, I have no real advice for your situation. Sorry.

Go by their rules. You cannot accommodate a 3 year old when the food they're offering isn't things like liver and onions. They're normal every day foods that he'll either eat or go hungry. If he's hungry enough, he'll eat something. The more he's catered to the more he'll fight eating different foods. If he's accommodated for so long by the time he enters school he won't eat school lunches either and you'll have to pack special foods for him then as well. I'm a 5Xs mom. Trust me, he'll be fine. If he's truly hungry, he'll pick and start eating little things. He'll eat heavier at breakfast and dinner to make up. He'll be fine. For tacos, he can pick out what he wants like eat the tomatoes or cheese, etc. But again, if he's truly hungry he'll start picking and eating things. He's just waiting for you to come to the rescue and feed him what he wants. Just remember, you're in charge, not him.

K. B
mom to 5 including triplets

If it's their rule and they are a private school... not much you can do about it. For what it's worth, my son attended a private preschool in NY with a similar lunch menu and I was certain that he would starve... he didn't after a while, he discovered that he enjoys Lemon Chicken, Shrimp and other "hot lunch" options!

Talk with them because you knew the parameters when you signed up. See if they can work with you a little bit. This is a great opportunity to get your son to try new things rather than allowing him to continue refusing things that are unfamiliar. He'll thank you for it later!

I agree with RCC. If he gets hungry enough he will eat. Don't worry about the easy stuff.

Find out what they serve and have that kind of food at home. When it isn't strange to him, he will probably eat it if he gets hungry. The wider the variety of foods he will eat, the less money he will have to spend on food when he is an adult, if he is taught how to shop the sales.

Good luck to you and yours.

If he gets hungry enough he will eat. This is the same stuff most kids eat at home. Exotic is squid, scallops and prime rib.

We had the same experience with our daycare. With my first child it was wonderful. I couldn't believe it but he was eating Brussels sprouts and other cool things. With my second, not so great. He does try things though and that's great for him. He doesn't starve though and isn't even cranky/hungry at the end of the day. So, give it some more time. It really is amazing what they will eat/try if peers are eating it. Maybe you could work with the teacher to get a report on what he at least tried and then you can make a big deal out of that each day.

I am guessing the no outside food rule is due to children's allergy issues? It's not a lousy rule, it's simply the wrong daycare for you to have chosen if you want your child to have lunch packed from home. Your choice is to have him not each the lunch and be hungry, for him to figure out that if he's hungry he's got to experiment with new foods or to choose a new daycare that allows lunches packed from home. Good luck

I'd work as hard as a I could now with management. If they won't budge, I do have to say not all kids get over this stuff. It happened with friends. The daycare said to let their son go hungry, eventually he would eat. He didn't. He's now 9 and still only eats a few things. I could only let my son go hungry for so long...

Talk to the director of the school and find out the reason for not allowing outside food. That may help you understand the policy a bit more and accept it, even if you don't like it. Or, it might be a totally baseless reason and you might be able to talk them into letting you send a small snack - something filling, like an apple. You'll have a better chance of sending in something like fruit than something packaged.

Is there any part of the meal he eats? Are there snacks throughout the day that he eats? What hours is he there?

Make sure you're feeding him a very filling breakfast and have a snack ready for him at pick up time to eat on the way home.

I agree with Veronica P. After this rule, what is the next rule you will try to change?

Not being able to bring our own food would be a deal breaker for me. What most day cares feed kids is rarely what kids should eat - vegetables, vegetables, vegetables, fruit, whole grains and lean protein. Speak with the director. If they won't accommodate you, I would leave. What do they do for children with food allergies? They can't possibly force them to eat food they are allergic to.

ETA: My son was not picky at all. However, I took one look at the menu his daycare was providing (rotating schedule of chicken nuggets, tacos, hot dogs, pizza - all the usual 'kid friendly' foods to which we have NEVER exposed him) and said no. The director was wonderful - she was perfectly fine with parents providing food. And the major difficulty another poster could not imagine of dealing with every kid having their own different lunch - well, um, the parents labelled the kids lunch bags and that solved that. There is no reason to change your son's diet (assuming it is a varied and healthy one) to accommodate the preschool.

It's probably their rule because they get funded for providing food for each child or because they don't want to deal with allergies etc... Also can you imagine trying to manage a dozen or more lunches that kids bring from home...?

What is it that your son is picky about? Is it textures or things being mixed or does he only like a few things?

In general I feel like kids need to be exposed to different kinds of foods. Maybe you can get more on the same page with the preschool and he can learn to accept different kids of foods. The one child that I have had in my years of daycare is a picky eater because his parents allow him to be. He holds out and doesn't eat at my house because they give him chocolate milk when they pick him up. He doesn't eat because he knows that there's something that he wants that he will get once he leave here.

My kids eat well here. We eat a variety of foods, lean meats, vegetables at lunch, and fruit at snack and lunch... whole grains etc... I realize that I am not a typical daycare. Feeding kids good healthy food is important to me, so I plan more and spend more than some other daycare do. There isn't any excuse for a child to go hunger at my house because there is enough variety for even the pickiest eater to find SOMETHING to eat... unless they choose not to eat.

Kids will eat when they are hungry enough if they are presented with food. If your child is peeing and pooping, not lethargic, and not losing weight he isn't going hungry every day. He's just choosing what he will eat and when he will eat it.

No outside food? That's strange. That would have been the first thing I would have checked for my picky eater. If he refuses to eat anything they serve, I would suggest looking for a different preschool. There is no point in letting the kid stay hungry all day. He is only 3, do what's best for him.

Do they not allow parents to pack a lunch? I have never heard of such a rule. I know some people will say "he will eat it if his hungry" but I know from personal experience I would rather go without than eat something I find gross. I would have to be starving to death to choke down a mushroom for example.
Do you have no other options?

stop letting your son be a picky eater at home. Then he'll eat lunch and you can stop making multiple dinners. :)

It's very frustrating. I would have to discuss this with them. At the least he should have access to something he could snack on.
But on the other hand it could expand his food world if you would just let the rule stand. My youngest was the worst picky eater but he always found something he could tolerate at school.
Now in HS, he takes a peanut butter and jelly because he can.

Lisa O. is right -- why are they not offering at least a cheese sandwich or other basic alternative? This is NOT just about accommodating picky eaters and here's why: Kids have allergies, or religious or health reasons for not eating certain things. I for one would have issues with the tacos and chili if they contain ground beef, which we don't and won't eat. At our church's preschool, there are many Hindu and Muslim kids who have food restrictions plus there are kids with food allergies, and all are accommodated -- the kitchen has many posters on the wall listing which kid eats what meal and the preschool manages just fine, thanks.

If your son's issue is truly pickiness, I'd do more investigation -- Is he eating the bread roll that comes with the chicken? Does he eat the carrots that come with the taco? And so on. The staff sounds too focused on whether he's eating the meat main courses. If he's eating the sides, bread, etc. he is fine and not starved. If he truly touches nothing at all, you might wanto to check whether he has issues with textures etc. that are causing the picky eating not just at school but overall.

But the posts saying "they can do what they want" at the preschool - yes, they can, but they are losing out on business!

I'm not sure what I would do but I do know that I would not let a growing 3-yr old go all day without eating.

:(

You don't mention how your son is feeling about this. Is he complaining he is hungry at school, or after school? At age 3, my kids would eat either a decent lunch or a decent dinner, but not both. One or the other was always picked at. I think it's great to expose kids to a wide variety of real foods, vs. the typical "kids menu" fare. If your son is complaining, feed him a big breakfast and hearty snack after school and encourage him to try some new foods at school. If the school is just "tattling" to you about how little he ate, I would let it go. It's their job to provide the food, your son's job to decide how much and what he chooses to eat. You could tell the school to give him his lunch and be non-chalant towards him about what he eats or does not eat, and you do not need a daily report. I would not fight the school food rule.

Every school has an alternative option, come on!

Now, is your child a picky eater due to any other issues?
ex: my son has Sensory Issues and some foods/textures he can not/will not eat, forcing him to eat those foods would be torture to him. IF there is an underlying issue you may have some wiggle room - but it does have to be diagnosed.

they should offer an alternate lunch for your son. it might be only a cheese sandwich everyday if he wont eat the main lunch. but a cheese sandwich some milk and a fruit is a fine lunch.

talk tot he director.

I know that this is not a popular opinion among parents these days, but kids are picky eaters because they are allowed to be. Americans* seem to feel the need to give flavorless foods (Gerber's legacy, perhaps) to infants and toddlers and then seem surprised when they don't want good food as they age. Most people tell us that we are lucky to have three kids that eat just about everything. I usually smile and nod but deep down doubt that we "lucked" into three out of three. We simply fed them good - flavorful - food throughout and refused to make them something different. We also sit and eat dinner as a family every night. The littlest one wanted to be like the rest of so badly that she was eating dinner with us before she was two. We didn't fight with them. If they chose not to eat, they could get down fromt the table. There were no extra snacks and nothing after dinner, just wait until breakfast (or next snack/meal time). This is a long-winded answer to your question, but I believe that you have to determine your philosophy on eating -- does your child get what he wants for every meal or does he learn to enjoy all kids of food? Based on that, you will have to decide whether you want him to stay at a great daycare with what sounds like some delicious menu choices or try somewhere that caters to his pickiness...

* In our travels, we have observed that only in wealthy societies are children given the option to have an alternate meal. In most countries, kids go from nursing to eating along side the rest of their family, regardless of how spicy or "odd" that food may seem to outsiders.

State laws cannot be argued with. 99% of state regulations state outside food is not allowed in child care. However in the Pennsylvania state regulations it states that if the provider agrees you can provide his food.

I don't agree with this rule because it is mean and cruel to the other kids to see a child get special food and it makes them not want to eat. You'll still have to pay the same price even though you're bringing his food too.

IF they feed him at a different time so the other kids won't see his food then you may be required to pay a staff a fee to watch him since his teacher will be working with the rest of the class in a different part of the building.

Special diets prescribed by the doc are allowed. IF he has allergies or a medical condition he can get a doc's note listing specific foods he is allergic to. Those foods cannot be given to him. They would need to offer a child with allergies a substitute food.

I suggest that you tell him he's a big kid and that he needs to eat something, even if it's just the bread or the dessert. They cannot keep food from him, if they offer anyone any food he is allowed to have some too. If they offer peaches to the kids who ate everything and don't offer him any then they are not going by the rules. He must be allowed each food on the menu.

I suggest you use this opportunity to teach your child how to manage eating something even if he doesn't like what is in front of him. He can eat something.

He needs to learn to think outside the box...or plate in front of him.

Good luck!

Here's the link to the state rules and regulations and then below it is the link to the specific section that states IF the provider agrees you are allowed to bring in outside food.

http://www.pacode.com/secure/data/055/chapter3270/chap327...

http://www.pacode.com/secure/data/055/chapter3270/s3270.1...

The food you bring him MUST follow these rules or they won't be allowed to be his meal. They must be able to show that he is getting balanced nutrition. SO you'll just have to figure out how to do this.

For instance, if he won't eat any dairy, you'd have to substitute something that is in that group that he will eat or just send it knowing it will be thrown away. HE MUST FOLLOW THE FOOD RULES. It's not hard for me. The kids might not want something like cottage cheese but they'd eat a cheese stick instead or a yogurt.

http://www.pacode.com/secure/data/055/chapter3270/s3270.1...

If they choose to still say no due to it being mean to the other kids and costly if they'd feed him at a different time then you'll have to settle for a less well run facility. You said he likes it here. Either teach him to figure out what to do to eat something or get them to compromise or find a new place but ask them first about food. I do not think you'll find one that will accommodate your child but I could be wrong.

Lemon Chicken??!!! Preschool? What is this the Wolfgang Puck school for French billionaire's? No outside food? What is this, a P.O.W. camp where the food is dosed to brainwash kids so they can't let the institution's food supply be interrupted? HUH?

I mean, sheesh I GET IT that you shouldn't expect them to provide an alternative menu for your child (although a frou frou place like that should have vegan gluten free options), but he can't bring his lunch? WEIRD. It doesn't sound like and allergy thing since kids could have allergies to what they're serving (two of my kids won't touch meat anyway and I'm glad).

I'd say, "I need my kid to eat during the day so how are we going to resolve this?" Do other parents just let their kids starve? How long does it usually take other picky eaters to cave in and eat the food? If they remain unmoved, then consider if their other perks outweigh the issue. Maybe there's a long waiting list to attend the place, so they're happy to be rid of non-eaters. Maybe he can learn to eat it. Maybe he's getting enough snacks and sides where it won't really hurt him. But if you can't deal with it, then I guess you have to remove him.

I'd complain and see what happens. Try to stay non-combative. In other words, don't word your argument like my post.

Wait... are they great or are they lousy?

Have you talked to the director of the daycare about why they have the rule and about your son's selective eating? You need to have a sit-down conversation with them so that you can understand why they have this rule of no outside food. And you need to explain to them the types of foods that your child enjoys so that maybe they can work it into their menu, especially on the off chance that other parents have made similar requests.

My son's daycare had the same rule. There were some days where he wouldn't eat breakfast or lunch. We got a copy of the menu, and on those days, we made sure he had a really good snack before drop-off and we had McDs or Subway waiting for when we picked him up.

Your other option is to find a new center. My daughter is in a home-based center that I wish I hadn't been to stubborn to switch to for my son. The lady is awesome, allows the kids flexible, healthy options. If she knows a kid prefers something, she makes sure she has it available. Her limit is 3 different lunches, and we are allowed to send in our own stuff.

Are you kidding me? How bizarre! I can't imagine the reasoning behind this one. There was one of my kids that would get ill from the spices that were added to the food at her school and I had to pack her lunch all the time. If I didn't she would be sick and home most of the time. She also has some issues with blood sugar so not eating wasn't an option.

Hopefully he will eventually eat the food, and you can make more different choices for dinner?

My daughter will eat almost anything I put in front of her, my son.. not so much. He has sensory issues which is why he wont eat all the foods. he does not eat at school for lunch, because he is home. We just find proper foods to give him that meet the nutrition standards for the day.

Good luck