Making It Through Church with a 2 1/2 Year Old

Everyone had good thoughts so I just wanted to add one more. Practice having quiet time during the week. Help him practice sitting quietly for short amounts of time doing different quiet activities like coloring or looking at books,etc, so that he gets use to having to sit quietly. Start small, but increase the time as you go. Even let him know that you are going to practice having "church" and explain the importance of it. I'm not familiar with an LDS service, but my experience tells me that the more you take him and teach him to sit quietly, the easier it will get. Help him learn now while he's young!

Why on earth would you want to attempt to make your 2 1/2 year old sit through a church service? He doesn't have the capacity to understand a grown up sermon, all he will do is learn to hate going to church. The responses you've received about people not caring about having a naughty child at church are delusional. Most adults DO NOT like to have misbehaving children around at this time. I think you are doing those around you at services as well as your son a great disservice by trying to force this upon him. Please rethink this.

Hi J.,
I have a very active 3 1/2 year old and some Sundays are better than others :) I think the other moms have had great advice. We also bring lots of snacks, something that she may not get at home like fruit snacks or a special drink. Then we have her be reverent during the passing of the sacrament. We talk about making good choices and thinking about Jesus during that time and then she earns her treat.

After that I am ok with her moving around, she just has to be quiet. We bring favorite quiet toys and you can find all kinds of great gospel centered books, coloring books and activity books that your little boy will probably love.
Good luck

I think the difference in opinion is the religions.

It sounds to me that you are either Catholic or Luthern. These are churches that usually do not have nurseries. Families go to church as a unit, and usually those around have learned how to tune them out, and if it gets too bad I believe they have a crying room. My husband's family is Catholic and I always thought that was a nice asspect about the church.

Now, most of the prodastant churches take the children to a nursery and Sunday School. They learn at their level, while we have the adult sermon. Gradually they begin to stay as they mature. At our Baptist church the kids are down stairs until about 5 then only 1/2 the time until age 10 then at this time they are with the adults the whole sermon.

I don't think Anne meant anything negative about it, this is just how many churches feel.

But, if you want your children with you, I think that is GREAT. It will take time. Take cherrios if allowed,and let them scribble on a paper, or read. They will learn to sit quietly with time!

GL:)

My youngest son, thankfully, has always done fairly well in church. I agree with what the previous person said about finding an end spot. We also bring some quiet things for him to do like coloring or bring his blanket and he sort of zones out. Our church is pretty fast moving with lots of songs and childrens time that he doesn't get too antsy. Best of luck!

Hi J.,
I live in Logan too! :)

I know how stressed out you feel trying to keep things under control at church. I have a four-year-old daughter who generally does a pretty good job, but not always. Church can be stressful for parents! Here are some tricks that I have found work for us.

I usually try to get to church early enough to be able to sit on a side bench with a wall. Then I give my daughter enough space between me and the wall so that she can move around, climb up and down and walk back and forth a little bit. I bring a special bag with books and quiet toys for her to look at and play with, and I make sure she's not allowed to play with them during the week so she'll be interested in them. As long as she's not talking or disturbing others I don't worry about her moving around a little bit and playing quietly. When she does have a bad week where I have to take her out, I make her sit on my lap in the foyer, and she's not allowed to move around or talk to anyone. She has to stay on my lap. That way she realizes that being in sacrament meeting is a privilege and that having to leave is not. We haven't had to leave the meeting for a long time now.

I know how tempting it is just to stay home, but it's really important that you get your son used to going to church now while he's little. He'll have a much harder time feeling comfortable at church later in his life than if he gets in the habit now. And that's the important thing to remember--you're going to church not just for your sakes, but for his as well. I promise that after a few weeks of difficulty, it'll start to get easier, as long as you're consistent.

And don't worry too much about what everyone else in the congregation might be thinking. Most of the people there have been (or will be) parents to a 2 1/2 year old at some time in their lives, and they know what it's like. They're not expecting your little guy to be a perfect angel, and neither should you. If he were, you wouldn't need to bring him to church, right? :)

Good luck!

M.

Wow most everyone has got great suggestions. And of course you will have to adjust these things to your family. Don't worry about what Anne said- she obvioulsy is not familiar with the family oriented and child friendly lds meetings. I agree that the more you take your son the better it will get but you will also need to be consistent about what you expect from him during those meetings. My husband and I also bring books, coloring books for my 3yr old girl and for my 1yr boy we will allow a quiet toy or two- nothing that makes noise. We try to have the books and coloring books church related but they aren't always. And recently we bought travel sized magnadoodle boards (Target had them on sale for $5 at christmas) they work great.
If these things aren't working you and your husband can take turns taking him out into the foyer. There you can decide if you want to let him get down and run or play or if you want to make him sit- that will depend on your family. My husband and I let our kids quietly get their wiggles out for a few minutes, but my best friend makes her kids sit on her lap if they leave the chapel so it is not a reward for misbehaving.

My niece and her husband finished RCIA two months prior to their wedding, and conceived on their honeymoon. They have a 10 yr old with high functioning autism and a four year old; the older daughter never seemed to be able to make through anything, even story time at the library, until her first communion. Because of this, my niece and her husband split up--she goes to Saturday evening mass, and he goes to Sunday morning mass. One may take one daughter dependent upon her mood, but never both when they are alone. On days of obligation, they will occasionally attend mass together, but they have pretty much decided that for the current time, they will most likely divide and conquer. I personally believe 2 1/2 yrs is too young to expect a child to sit through religious service.

J.,
Anne does not have a clue what it is like to have a little one in church. They have every right to be in church and listen to how we praise God. It is a learning process and how will they learn unless they experience it. I have two boys, 3&4. They are a handful during church, but we have found tricks to keep them quiet. One thing that we did make use of was the nursery. We gradually tried to extend the length of time that they stay in church with us. Our 3 year old can usually make it almost the whole service, but it is still an option to take him to the nursery if he gets to restless. Our church offers "busy bags" for little hands that have crayons, coloring books, books and a small toy in it. This is one option if your church offers them. The other thing we do is bring a quiet snack and cup of water for them. I try to hold off until the sermon to give them this. Another great secret my husband found was a small sucker. This way their mouth is busy and not talking. The other thing to remember is to point out the different banners or candles within the church. My youngest likes to play the "I Spy" game in church. It is a wonderful way to get them involved in paying attention to their surroundings.
Don't be hard on yourselves, it takes practice and it will not come over night. You and your husband may have to take turns sitting in the crying room or in the foyer until he can sit longer. Good Luck. Don't give up on church you need that time with fellow Christians and God.
J..

I have some wonderful ideas. I have 3 wild boys to take to curch with me too. So I totally understand! I bought a bunch of those family home evening kit books that you color, cut, laminate yourself and I made a bunch of them and the games are appropriate to take to sacrament. So my kids will play those and in each kit I have laminated them on a file folder, and on the back in a ziploc bag the game pieces are in it with a little of the blue tacky stuff. So they keep really quiet and busy. Your son will love them. Plus, they are great for family home evening. I put a lesson in with it, a song, and a story and keep it all in a large manila envelope and everything is in it. I make them according to what my kids needs are. Like when they are learning colors, or shapes, or about nephi, or prayer, or telephone numbers, or disabilities. ect.... I have over 200 of them. I actually had a little group from the ward to get together (about 5 of us) and each of us made the same one 5 times, and met back in a month and gave ours out so we got 5 back that were different ones. Anyway, this is a great idea! I could give you copies if you were interested.
M.

Hi J.,
I agree with the other moms (except Anne). My 2 boys are learning that if they can sit and play quietly until communion then they may play in the playroom. If they aren't good then they don't get to play. At this age it is hard but you should def. go to church. Even if there are a few Sundays that you or your husband can't sit through the whole service it is still worth going. He will learn that he needs to play quietly. And despite what Anne said people should understand what it's like to have a 2 year old. As long as he isn't screaming I wouldn't worry about it. Good luck.
Chris

I too have an almost 2 year old that has a hard time making it through the meetings. I have found that he likes to sing, so when it is time for the songs we get the hymn book out and I point to the words and sing (this helps with the other kids too). I know that he can't understand what I am doing, but it buys us a couple of minutes of quiet while we are singing. My husband usually has him on his lap while the sacrament is being passed and that keeps him quiet then---I don't know what he whispers in his ear, but whatever it is keeps him quiet. The rest of the time we look at dad's scriptures or his lesson manual. We too would have the snacks and books, but our stake president has asked that we try and make it through the meetings without them. I hope that this helps and good luck. It might also help if you find a "grandparent" to help with the kids---they always have helped with our 6 kids and the kids love the extra attention.

I see some very good responses here, so will just reiterate, for the most part. Good for you for wanting to get back to going to church & for including your son. It is important for both of you. Take an assortment of quiet toys & books, & lots of FOOD :) When there is action going on, point it out to him & quietly explain what is going on. Kids take in more than we think. If he just gets too antsy, go to the back of the church or whereever & let him stretch his legs, then take him back in if he'll tolerate it. And don't worry so much! He can sense if your uptight, & may be more antsy because of it. All the LDS people I know are very much family-oriented; I'm sure most of those around you in church will commend you for trying.
Finally and, I think, most importantly: don't forget to take your baby girl to church too! Even if you have to ask someone else to hold her while you handle your son. The sooner kids start to learn how so sit quietly during church, the easier it is. Good luck!

My 2 1/2 yr old daughter has a hard time sitting still in church as well. Thankfully my church is very tolerant and supportive of families and no one ever seems to mind. We as parents always are more worried than anyone else around us! My church has a special kids table located at the back with colors, colorbooks, etc. to help entertain the kids. It is very helpful, and as we all know even if kids are doing something else they still pick up on things that are going on around them, and it is important for them to hear God's message. If your church doesn't have something like this maybe you could suggest it?! I also like to take 'quiet' toys such as her travel doodlepro or an activity book with reusable stickers, etc. I also tend to sit at the back at the end so if she does get up & down, she's not disturbing to many people. Fact is that you can't make an active child sit without them making a scene so it is less disturbing if you can make it possible for them to be active without being loud or disturbing.
My sister likes to use the nursery, just another suggestion.
I hope maybe this will help!!

Don't worry, you're not alone!!! :-) Most of us just sit in the back row or spend lots of time out in the foyer until they get older. Sometimes you can find another room in the church that will "pipe in" the meeting if you are worried about missing out on the great talks. I've found the mothers nursing lounge to be just a place where other moms meet and let their kids play while they still enjoy the meeting.

Just do the best you can and know that "This too shall pass" !

I am Mormon too, and I felt the same way you do at church when my son was younger. It wasnt so much that others thought it was disruptive, it was more me worried about it. My only suggestion is bring as many things for him to do as you can in a activity quiet bag. If he gets too loud just take them out, I've gone many times to the primary room and turned the speakers on so I could hear the talks too, and he could get the wiggles out. I kinda wanted to give everyone(who is not Mormon) an idea of what the Sunday schedule is like:

1st hour- Sacrament meeting (talks or testimonies given by members of the ward (congregation), singing,etc.)
2nd hour- Sunday school- everyone goes to a class that is appropriate for their age
3rd hour- Men go to priesthood -Women to relief society- Children go to Primary

It makes for a long Sunday, but there is a nursery for the children 18months to 3 during Sunday School and Primary where they have activities, lessons, and snack.

Lastly, I would like to say as someone who is past that stage people are not judging you like you think. We're all sitting there thinking "Geez...we have ALL been there". Hang in there!!! Here are a couple of web sites for activities:
www.mormomshare.com
www.theideadoor.com