Marriage and Sex. Let's Talk About It.

We have been married almost 20 years. It is a lot less often but the sex is way better that it has ever been. So I think like someone said quality makes up for quantity. Foreplay the same if not more...not much french kissing anymore unless it is an invitation for more. There honest. Oh and the question you didn't ask...once to twice a week unless we really tired from life (job, kids, etc etc).

Hubby and I have been married for almost 14 years. We would have dry spells now and then but as of late its been really good. Just making the time and getting creative. Very rarely french kiss but it still happens. Foreplay, well it just depends.

well, we're old and have been together forever, so the frequency is certainly down from our 4 years of living together prior to marriage and kids. those were frisky times! :)
and yeah, the hardscrabble (and wonderful) years of small kids, too much work and exhaustion took a toll on the horizontal bop.
we worked our way through that and then BAM! early menopause. thanks, biology. i wasn't sure i'd ever get the pizazz back.
i'm happy to say that it IS happening. different from the hot panting sex of youth, but deeper, richer, more meaningful in many ways. and not that often. quality has replaced quantity, and that's okay with us. no need for pills or shots or doomed searches for vanished youth. we kind of like exploring what sex for old people looks like. (sorry for the visual, dears.)
foreplay is a prerequisite with me. sometimes we make out, sometimes that's the bulk of it. not always, though. french kiss only when serious.
:) khairete
S.

We've been married more than 20 years and things have certainly changed. the kids are in college and although we definitely have more sex now than we did when the kids were little it's more for him than for me. When the kids were little we had sex maybe 2 or 3 times a month and it was often quickies. Now we have sex about twice a week - I would be happy with less but i love my husband and i always enjoy it but would be happy with less. We do still french kiss, our foreplay is still there, reasonably predictable but we've added a few tricks over the years. We are more in love now probably than ever before. It's a much deeper love and we've weathered a lot of rough times in our lives. But things have definitely changed. The key is to get past the the rough times and always laugh - even when sex is funny and different and not what you expect.

I have been married for 16 1/2 years, with my partner now for 18 years. Our sex now is way better then it has ever been, and we have way more of it. For most of our marriage it was 1-3 times a week and it was usually pretty straight forward and sometimes felt like a chore, but the last 2 years have been way more intense. We finally learned to communicate truly and completely openly and to listen to each other without judgment, and so absent that fear of judgment and with a level of trust that comes with years together we have been able to discuss all our sexual fantasies, and bring many of them to life. As a result we feel way more connected in that way then we ever have, and we have sex almost every day. We both find that the more we have, the more we want, and as a wonderful side effect we are more affectionate with each other all day long. We kiss, hug, and make out way more then we ever did before. Sometimes I joke about us being 18 year old kids again, we just can't seem to keep our hands off each other, But it is better then back then because we have a level of trust that comes with decades together, and we know each others bodies as well as we know our own. And there is way more foreplay, we really spend time connecting too each other these days rather then rushing through it (well most of the time, but there is still always something fun about a quickie!)

Our kids are older now and we have prioritized time together as important and so we make sure to create it. The kids have their own space in the house and they retire to their rooms around 830 or 9 each night even though they do not have to go to sleep. They read, play with each other, play games, or watch tv, and we spend alone time together. From the time they get home from school until "alone" time we makes sure to focus on the kids and family time so they don't feel shorted in any way. And I love that what they see when they look at us are two parents that, not only really love each other, but are still hot for each other even after all the years and changing bodies. We did not have the best role models growing up for what a healthy marriage should look like, I am glad we are able to mirror something better for our kids :)

We've been married 15 years, together for 21 years. Our sex life slowed down quite a bit when we became parents. Now that our kids are older, and we're no longer sleep deprived, we still don't have sex very often. Our teenage daughter stays up too late, so we can never do it at night. We usually do it after our first alarm goes off when we have 10 minutes before it's time to get up. It's quick with hardly any foreplay and it's mostly for him. I see it as a chore.

It's changed. We have a lot less sex than when were young and kid-free! We've been married almost 11 years. In my mind I want to have more sex than we have but frankly, I'm usually exhausted at the end of the day. We have less foreplay because honestly, I'm too tired to have foreplay and sex or we're trying to do it quickly so we just skip that step. :) But I miss it. We french kiss and make out if we're trying to tease each other or during our occasional foreplay.

I feel like were are pretty normal/average but I don't really know.

Married 29 1/2 years. Yes, it has changed. Its better. When the kids were little, sex was the last thing I wanted. All I wanted was 8 hours of uninterrupted sleep!!! Hubby traveled all the time so child raising was my job AND I also worked full time. I was exhausted and he wasn't much help.

He got a promotion and was home more so that really helped. Yes, we definitely French kiss (he is the best kisser in the world) and hold hands. We touch each other a lot. Sex can be every other day or a couple of times a week. Just depends. Might be a few times a month. Just depends on if he is home or not. =)

Yes, we still French kiss. The foreplay is about the same, if not longer, but we rarely make out unless we're going to have sex.

I'd say after almost 16 years that our sex life has improved a lot, though we do have dry spells occasionally due to sleep deprivation, lots of travel, etc.

After 21 years, hubby and I probably have a little less foreplay; don't really make out; but do french kiss

We are far more active now, after 16yrs and 2 kids together, than ever in our earlier years.
We don't kiss much - never have. But have gotten more adventurous in bed, and the frequency has really increased. It's usually every other day for us now.

Been together 20 years. It's changed. I would say having kids made us have to be rushed, which changed everything. Quite frankly, it took the pressure off. It was suddenly silly, fun, quick as you can - which made it light and made us bond I think ... now that I'm not well, it's a whole new ball game. I have a tender, loving man who is concerned for me, so it's not as much into acrobatics (not that it ever really was...) but it's very special. Ugh I realize that sounds mushy. But there's something very special in knowing that it will still be wonderful as we get older.
I would say there's just enough of everything. We're both super honest (which came with age and trust) so it's equal between us completely.

Research shows that married couples/long term committed couples talk about 20 minutes per day. And that is about scheduling the kids to go here and there and who's going to take them and pick them up. Grades. You didn't do something I asked you to do, etc...then they deal with life the rest of the time.

If you want to rekindle that flame then plan some one on one time, literally AND figuratively. Do something both of you like so it will flow and not bomb.

As for us? He's a heart patient and I'm overweight. It just seems like too much work so when it happens it's nice but I can live without it...I'm exhausted due to the holidays.

It's funny, we haven't French kissed in years (been married 25 years). Not sure why or when it stopped, but it would be weird to start again! We do still kiss and have some nice long kisses, just no tongue. :-)

As for the rest- probably more foreplay now, and sex is actually better now. I think it ebbs and flows, so we may hit a bumpy road again. It was fun early on, difficult after baby, then routine and fine, and now easier and more connected than ever. We're 1-2 times a week people, which is fine with me.

married 9 years. we have changed. we used to do it whenever the moment hit. then after baby 1 we hardly did it at all now after #2 we scheduled it for every other day. sometimes were feelin frisky and add the foreplay and sometimes we get right to it. we skip the kissing since i am not a fan of it.

We've been married for 8 years, together for 10. We are in a dry spell now due to our 2 year old and 4 month old. It's worth it but hard at times, especially for him. We still French kiss a lot, but right now foreplay is mostly foregone, haha. Things are getting better, and we are both eager to pick up the pace some. But for now I'd rather sleep.

Married 27 years and yes, things are not nearly as active as they were for the first about 20 years! A good, deep kiss usually indicates a need for romance. Even when we are tired, distracted, stressed out or worried about things we cannot control, a little time together can relax a lot! It isn't easy, and I know my husband wishes for more. But, I read his cues and try to be ready when he needs me.