We both come at parenting from different perscpective and life experiences. His family is different than yours. Of course it is. Even with spouses who truly see life the same way will have different family histories that come along into the marriage. It IS difficult - so just knowing that you are just like everyone else is of some comfort - isnt' it?
My hsuband is a briber. He'd bargain with the kids to have them do something they need to do. I never bargained or bribed. If they needed to go see their elderly grandmother in the nursing home or clean their room or be nice to the miserable kid in sunday school it's just something they needed to do. My husband always offered cash, a favorite toy, etc. So I let him do it - that's what he wanted / needed to to. The kids knew which parent handled things which way. When the kids would try to bargain with my I'd remind them "I'm not daddy, I don't bargain. Just get it done."
But when it came to discipline we were a mess. We were on very different pages. My husband's father was abusive and his mother was neglectful and suffering from mental health issues all of his childhood. So his image of discipline was painful & cruel - so he wouldn't discipline the kids. Sometimes he'd yell - but didn't know what to do. My mom was big on chores for discipline, chores for getting over sad news (I remember very clearly when she handed me a broom after telling my my beloved grandfather died- and told me to get the patios cleaned off becuase we'd be having company over the next few days!), chores for jsut about everything - but by the time I was 11 she was a single mom and it seemed a natural symbiotic thing to do. It took a while for us to learn that disclpline should be about restoration - not punishment. Teh goal should be to get your kids to correct their action not to resent us for inflicting pain when they do something wrong.
Discipline for a careless mistake needs to be different than for direct and willfull defiance. If my child defies me with intent at age 6 I am going to have a hard time with him at 16 unless we work together to get his head on straight at age 6.
Our biggest problem was that we did not show a united front to our kids. We'd argue over their discipline in front of them, we had different standards for what was expected, and they watched us fight over it. SO VERY NOT GOOD! When the kids entered the teen years and we realized so much more was at stake if we differed on how to handle things we went to a counselor to figure out how to be parents. We found out we were each wrong about some things. We were each right about some things. Mostly we needed to resolve our difference behind closed doors and stick up for eachother to the kids. Even if we didn't agree with our spouse we defended eachother to the kids - then discussed it after they went to bed or while driving in the car, etc. This worked. The first few times the kids stood there with their mouths hanging open when he stuck with the other's decision - even when we didn't agree with it. But after a few weeks we found the kids were happier, they didn't resist, and saying no, or whatever became easier. Kids want their parents to agree, they want to see us care about eachother. They don't want chaos.
This is the hardest thing you're ever going to do - parent your children well while keeping your marriage strong. Knowing that you can't just wing it and coast will help you understand and dedicate the proper time into it.
If your kids are still pre-schoolers consider looking for a MOPS group in your area (Mothers Of Pre Schoolers) - they're usually at local churches - not sure if that's something you're interested in - but you may find life- long friends at these groups. My niece is involved in a local MOPS and her youngest will soon be in kindergarten - but in the past 5-6 years she's develooped a great support group and they help eachother figure out parenting and marraige.
While women are generally willing to read self-help books - and articles on parenting, men will almost never do so. But maybe if you try to find some short books - like "You have what it takes" by John Eldridge which is pamphlet sized, it may help. You can also find CD or podcasts by great parenting counselors - so maybe while on a long drive somewhere or while he's on the treadmill?
Last thing - consider church. I know a lot of people don't go to church - but when you have kids you need some extra support. Many churches have children's programs while the adults are in the the service and it makes life a little easier. Think about it. Sunday is Easter why not try going to a local church?