Hi Ladies or any Gentlemen out there,
I wanted to ask another question today....have any of you tried your children on martial arts (boys) and did it make a big difference in there lives using, learning (self control, discipline,focus. etc)??
I have a situation with my youngest, now don't think I agree on what he did but I don';t agree that a kid should have to do nothing. A kid kept running into him in line and after a few times he said stop it, the kid did it again and he hit him.
I see both sides but nonetheless there is zero tolerance and agree, disagree what have you sadly you can't do anything to anyone in any school but let them beat you to a pulp and hope a teacher sees in and intervenes. That's how it is and sadly even though this kid kept running into him he's not a fault my child is for hitting him. Honestly I think both are wrong, the two wrongs don't make a right. He's not suspend at this time but he gets no other chance. Yes, I talked to him, I talked to him and all my boys about these kinds of situations before school started and every few months. Sometimes a parent can talk until they are blue, pray, hope and it's all up to the kid and the situation. I don't encourage hitting but I have heard martial arts may make a difference on how my son can handle this in the future....
The schools say it would have been better for him to tell, sadly the teacher saw him and not that this other kids kept running into him every time the line would stop. They are in kindergarten and also my son again was caught horsing around in PE and it was a long day let me say that.
Let me make sure to say I don't want them to use it to fight more so to learn how not to get into a fight and the self control as to use when someone tries to push them to their limit (like running in to you more then a few times in line), I want them to know their buttons where pushed but not to retaliate and hit someone even for pushing them more then once.
First of all, why do you think your kid is at fault too? All he was doing was defending himself. We will enourage our kid to hit, if someones hitting him...it's called self defense. There is no magic in martial arts, just teach your kid to defend himself. There is a difference in defending and starting a fight.
I've had all 3 (2 boys 1 girl) of my children in martial arts. I highly recommend martial arts. A good dojo can really help a child learn discipline, focus, and self confidence. Now, I found for my 2 boys the best thing they learned in karate was how to duck and how to block. Both of them used those abilities in school and it kept them from getting hurt. A good instructor will emphasise how to avoid fights, how to not use your ability to hurt another child, but also how to defend yourself if you have no other choice. My daughter also benefitted from martial arts, but has not needed to use it against anyone.
My nephew (now 9) has been involved in Tae Kwan Do for a few years now and is about to reach his Black Belt this year. The experience has been fabulous for him. In order to advance to even be able to test for the next belt his program requires the parents sign a form indicating he's been using the 'life lessons' from the martial arts program in other areas of his life - i.e. - respectful to parents/teachers, follows instructions, cleans his room, etc.
The teacher should have required the other student to refrain from running into any of the children. It is the school's responsibility to keep all the children safe. I'm a retired teacher that substitues in the lower grades, there has been a lot of times that I've had to correct students while they were standing/walking in line. I hope that this teacher isn't so passive for the rest of the year.
P. S
I think martial arts can be useful, but wanted to give you the heads-up that it's extremely expensive. We spent $400 on the basic starter kit only to have our son lose interest about 1 month after the return period. We lost a lot of money on that! Fortunately, we were able to sell his kit to some other sticker-shocked parents, but didn't fully recover our investment.
My son (just turned 4) has been in TaeKwonDo for almost a year now. We love it. It's great for coordination and learning to follow directions and respect authority. Also, my son has gained a huge amount of control over his body and impulses.
Contrary to what pp said, hitting the kid behind you in line because he keeps bumping into you each time the line stops just ISN'T self defense. One might be able to make a case that the kid had it coming, but that's just saying your kid acted rationally, not that he was defending himself. The kid was irritating him, not hurting him and he hit him to get back at him, not to protect himself. Sounds like both kids acted in ways pretty typical for 5-year-olds but the only kid who actually used violence was your son, which is probably why he was the only one disciplined by the school. In a martial arts class they'll teach him to speak strongly and confidently and say "No" and to recognize that they can't handle every situation on they're own and they need to ask an adult for help.
Hope this helps.
T.
My Daughter takes Karate. And my son is also interested although he is too young.
Martial arts is great. It teaches discipline, respect, and how to handle your body control, and builds self-confidence and self-awareness etc. IF the Teacher is good, and teaches proper rules.
It is not about how "tough" a kid is. But rather, often the "toughest" and best Martial artist will also be the humblest.
It takes consistency, like anything else, to learn it. AND, children are taught that they must NOT use their self-defense skills outside of their Marital arts school, and it is NOT to be used at school against other kids. Of course, if the child is somewhere else or is in real trouble, then that is another story.
My daughter loves it. Granted, it is not easy and the Teacher can be strict, but she enjoys it very much.
It does build physical fitness as well. Which is good.
For me as a Mom, I am just glad that my daughter enjoys her lessons AND that in the future if need be as a young girl/woman, she will be able to defend herself and be confident in doing so... and it has strengthened her sense of self too. A proper Martial Arts Teacher... WILL teach children proper rules of conduct, and they will not focus on bad attitudes nor tolerate it.
As for cost, it can be costly. BUT... try your local YMCA. The one's in my city teaches a variety of martial arts, taught by VERY high ranking volunteers. Or, try other community programs. Not all martial arts schools will cost a lot. Some are not. But always observe a class... and talk with the instructor first, before deciding on one and paying.
All the best,
Susan
