May Have to Put My Dog to Sleep

I wouldn't go into detail and tell her that there were treatment options, but you couldn't afford it. I would just tell her that the dog had a condition that required you to put him/her down and leave it at that. Or, you could ask her if she wants to take the dog and become responsible for the ongoing cost of care.

You can ask her if she would like to care for the dog for the rest of his life. The other option is that maybe there is a pet rescue that can rehome him to someone who likes taking care of expensively disabled dogs? Some people really do like to spend their time and money that way.

Or you can do what the responder below suggests. You don't owe her a full explanation.

Would you not treat a family member and let them die. When you get a dog you make a commitment for the life of that dog. Find the dog a new home and do not get another one. Dogs are NOT DISPOSABLE PETS. They are family. Breaks my heart to think you would put him down. Find someone who will love him and care for him.

Oh wow... I am so sorry that you & your family are facing such a difficult decision. Those who know me well on this site know that I am a breeder & very passionate about my dogs, & pets in general. I have been on the opposite side of the fence - I have family members that are upset with me because my husband & I have chosen on more than one occasion to have a costly surgery/procedure done on our dogs to save their life. Because they would not spend as much $$, they think we wasted ours.

But cost is subjective - what is a struggle for you, someone else could easily afford, and another person couldn't even begin to contemplate. Bottom line, however, is that you & your family have the financial means to give your dog a wonderful, cared-for life, but not unlimited resources to provide ongoing, intensive care for a chronic condition. There is no shame in that. I don't think people should be independently wealthy as a criteria to have the joy & love of a companion in their lives.

One of the unfortunate lessons I am learning in Pharmacy school is that there are people & families who do NOT get the medication they need, because of cost. Because they don't have insurance, or the insurance doesn't cover the medication, or the out of pocket costs are more than they can afford. But no one is telling people they shouldn't have children because one day they might get sick & you won't be able to afford their care. You need to make the decision that is best for you, your family, the dog & the big picture.

One thing I have noticed over the years is that with better technology available, the costs of caring for our pets is increasing as well. There are things we can do today that we couldn't do for our pets 25 years ago, & the decisions to let our beloved go weren't looked at with the scorn they are today. 25 years ago, people didn't pay hundreds of dollars for an x-ray & labs (non emergency), now that is standard, & most emergency visits don't come with a price tag below $1000.

Just because it's available, doesn't mean we can, or even should, based on the quality of life the pet may face afterwards. I am not a proponent of the excessive life-saving efforts on pets who are in near-death conditions (burns, massive trauma, etc.) costing tens of thousands, & months of pain.

Pet insurance is available, but if you didn't get it when your dog was a puppy, they are very tight on the pre-existing & exclusion clauses. And the coverage that they offer is not always comprehensive to the conditions your dog may develop. Certainly something to look into for any pet owner, but likely no longer helpful for your situation.

Talk with your vet about all the treatment options. Look into whether there might be lower cost options, or treatments that might be covered through programs. And I will pray that the test results come back with better results than you are preparing yourselves for.

If you are facing the worst, & you need to say your goodbyes, do so knowing that you gave your dog the best 5 years it could ever want, and you did it with love in your heart. That's all they ask for. Peace to you. T.

I have a few choice words for your judgemental friend.

The loss of a dog (or any deeply loved family pet) is a singular heartache.

Deciding whether or not to put your dog down is agonizing. No one does it casually.

I am so sorry you have to make this decision. I know, I've been there.

:(

Why do you need to tell her and why does she need to know?
If she asks you just say 'Our dog got sick and died. We're heartbroken.' after the fact - end of discussion.

Cross that bridge when you get to it.
For right now wait till the tests finish coming in.

You don't bankrupt yourself over pets - people anthropomorphize them too much.
If you need to put your dog to sleep consider it a death with dignity decision instead of endless doctor appointments/treatments/bills while the poor animal withers away before your eyes.
You don't own your friend any answers or explanations.

We are faced with a similar situation with our dog. He's a bit older than yours but has cancer and likely it'll be $10k for radiation. We can afford it but honestly seems wrong to spend that much on a dog when there are children who need medical care their parents can't afford. But I wouldn't te your friend the details. We haven't met with the oncologist yet and when I've told people what the vet says, most balk at $10k yet I wouldn't be surprised if they also judge a bit if we choose to put him down. So if we go that route, I'm going to tell people the actual oncologist said the prognosis was really bad like we had no choice. We rescued this dog and have given him a great life. We adore him yet he is a dog, not a person. If we choose not to treat him, I will write a check to the nearby Children's Hospital and actually feel pretty good about that. We are talking children vs a dog. Euthanasia is so quick and painless. Anyway, not sure what we will do but don't tell your friend you have the option. If she keeps pushing, ask if she would like to take over his care. Good luck. If we do put our dog down, we will be so sad.

Mom, here's my strong worded answer. It is NOT any of your friend's frickin' business what happens to your dog. You should not be sharing ANY of this business with her. When you put your dog down, you tell her that you are mourning the loss of your dog. You do NOT tell her that you had her put down.

I simply do not understand why you think you have to justify ANYTHING you do for your dog or your family to this judgmental person.

Your dog loves you. Your dog will accept its fate. If your dog could reason this out, she would NOT want your family to go without and have a huge financial burden. Most likely the dog's condition and medication will not be pleasant for her and cause her to lose a lot of her quality of life in ways you wouldn't even have thought of. Do the right thing for the dog and for your family's financial health.

I am so sorry you are going through this. It is painful.

We lost our 14.5 yr old American Cocker Spaniel last December when he woke up one morning paralyzed. We could have tried surgery but it would be unlikely at his age that he would have survived the surgery. We have a neighbor who is an orthopedic surgeon for animals and he concurred with our vet's diagnosis. It was horribly painful but we allowed him out of his misery.

Next, you owe your friend NO explanation about anything that goes on in your family. You should not feel obligated to share any of your personal information with anyone. Your personal business is NO ONE ELSE's business unless you choose to put it out there.

Since your dog is 5, he/she is relatively young. Is there anyway someone might adopt him and accept the diagnosis? Some people are willing to do this so check that route out.

I am a firm believer of the commitment we make when we get a pet. I also understand that everyone cannot financially fun a devastating health issue.

Our 8yr old Toy Poodle woke up last August,2013 blind in 1 eye from a genetic type of cataract, an overnight issue. We had a choice to repair it or take a wait and see approach. If we waited and the other eye did the same thing, then the possibility existed that one of the eyes would not be viable for surgery. If we fix it, and the other one does the same thing, then he would have a good eye. It is basically a cataract surgery for dogs with artificial lens. We call him our dog with the bionic eye. We did spend a huge chunk of $$ on him and he is perfect now. We know if the other eye were to do the same thing, he is able to see well and will never have an issue with the new eye again. I do cringe every time he is playing with the other dog or outside because I don't want that eye injured!! I have some family that think we are crazy for getting him back in shape but Toy Poodles are known to live sometimes to 20 yrs old.

We have had to put 3 of our beloved pets down at the ages of 14yrs to 15yrs old due to cancer, etc.

You can't go into debt and not meet your regular financial obligations for your family in order to pay for vet care.

Also talk to your vet. Is this something that could qualify for special testing where your dog would get care at a lower price?

Our first Cocker had epilepsy and she was on drugs from about 6 months of age until she died at 13. Get ALL options before you make a decision.

I wish the best for you and your family. Losing a pet this time of year is also especially painful.

First calm down a bit until you get your results. If it comes to that, you don't owe anyone an explanation. If she asks and you care to share, you tell her that your dog had X disease and didn't make it. Conversation over.

No. My answer for this has changed as I have matured and become a mother myself. The treatment cost for this is just not feasible. If the dog were to live another 10 years to a natural life-span (if that is even possible with this condition), you are talking about $30,000. Unless you have your children's education expenses saved for and your retirement accounts fully funded, this is just not smart. I do understand loving this animal. I would feel really bad about this too, but you simply cannot jeopardize the financial health of your family for this.

It is none of this friend's business. I would say that the dog had serious health issues and you talked extensively to your vet and together decided that euthanasia was the most humane option for your pet. Your friend does not get to have a say on this when she is not paying the bills or dealing with the consequences here. I would not give her lots of details, nor would I try to justify my decision to her.

i'm so sorry to hear about your dog. what a painful thing.
:(
i'm sorry i don't have any useful help as far as your 'friend' goes. i think that anyone who would be angry with a friend for making a caring, sensible, decision is not a friend. doesn't mean she can't disagree, or that she might do things differently. i too have friends who go so far as to take out 2nd mortgages to finance their pets' treatment. i think that's fine, although it's not the way we would ever go, and geez, we love our furry babies too.
so i would handle it very matter-of-factly. tell her the situation when it arises, and don't even open the door for her to offer her opinion. if she gives it unsolicited, and it's ugly, i'd slam that door shut and break her nose with it.
'i understand you don't agree, but i will not tolerate you beating me up when i'm already in pain. feel free to call again when you're through being a judgmental twat.'
khairete
S.

I've got friends like that too. Credit card debit and they've refinanced their house a dozen times to pay off the cards only to run them up again.

B's answer is the best so far. Really your dog is sick and after talking over options with the vet you decided that the best option for your family is putting the dog to sleep. You are heartbroken and can't discuss it.

fwiw I have the money to spend $250 a month on my dog but I probably wouldn't do it. My dog is anxious so additional vet visits would be too stressful on him. His quality of life needs to be taken into account and the extra vet visits for testing and treatment would seal the deal for no treatment for him.

First, when I read your question, I don't think you have a 'disposable pets' attitude...not in the least. This seems like a very hard decision and that you are taking this very seriously.

The problem is that you have a friend who might judge you for making a decision she might not agree with. I also imagine that if you come to the decision to have your dog euthanized, it will be with the best possible thoughts for your family and your pet. With friendships, sometimes our life choices change the dynamics. I've had friendships change because of our choice to have a child or our choice for me to be a SAHM for now. It's not lost on me how, even when you do the right thing for your family, some people cannot move along with that.

What I've learned in my lifetime is that is really about *the other person*, not us. It's about their own choices, what they value, etc. It's about "can they see both sides of this-- do they have the grace and space to open their mind and see that, while this might not be the choice they would make, it's the reasonable one for me?" Sometimes, those people need a bit of their own space after we make our choices they don't agree with. Hopefully, your friend will have the compassion and empathy if you do have to make the very hard and difficult choice of putting your dog down. I wouldn't go into a lot of details; ultimately, when we put our cat down his quality of life was very poor and I honestly wished we'd done it sooner, but we just didn't know how bad things would get. It's a terribly hard choice that we have to make, no one should judge you for it. Period.

First off I am so sorry for what you are going through but wait until you find out for sure then cross that bridge.
As far as your friend, she does not need to know anything other than your dog passed away if that is what happens.
I had a lab/rot mix with grand mal seizures due to epilepsy. We adopted him when he was 7 (his org owner did not want to deal with it and took him to shelter) we medicated him, calmed him during seizures and when he was about 10 ish he was getting them really bad and I was so torn about putting him down. I did not and he went into a seizure and never came out, died in our back yard with me by his side. it was horrible and i should have just went with my gut.
Many blessings to you in this difficult time.

I had to put a dog down about 2.5 yrs ago. She was a healthy, happy 1 yr old dog but ... she would occasionally attack my other dogs and once knocked over my grandson and started growling at his throat.
Some people understood - some didn't and it didn't matter. I made the best decision I could at the time.

I stayed with her as she died and held her head and cried my eyes out. I truely loved that dog but I had to put her down before she hurt someone.

You have to do what is best for you, your dog and your family. For those who understand -- no explaination is necessary.... For those who don't understand ---- no explaination is enough.
This is a deeply personal and difficult decision, do your best and move on.

Tell her simply that you and your DH have discussed your dog's health and care with the vet and came to a decision. It is not up for debate. We let a cat go a few years ago - we took him to the ER, we got all the tests done...and my biggest regret was not letting him die at home in peace. So when it came time this summer to let our cat go, we called a visiting vet who helped us at home, where the cat could be with things he loved and people who loved him. Sometimes more $$ is not the best solution. If you rehome him instead (does the vet know anyone who would take him?) I'm not sure this friend would be the best person, as she is already judgmental about such things. It would ruin the friendship, I think.

We had to put our 14-year-old dog down two years ago next week. He had a lifetime of expensive medical issues. We called him our gold plated dog. This dog was like a baby to me -- we got him the minute we got married. I loved him so much and my husband often joked that he thought I might be nursing him when no one was looking. :)

At 14 we found out he had 15 (!!!) bladder stones. We had an extremely expensive surgery to remove them. He did not recover well. The surgery was so hard on him and he never regained bladder control after it.

I told my husband I would probably never get to the point that I just was willing to put him down unless he was majorly suffering. However, his treatments were getting increasingly expensive, increasingly inneffecitve and his quality of life had decreased pretty dramatically. But -- he was not technically suffering. I asked my husband to just make the decision and tell me when he thought it was time. He did, and I took him to the vet to have him put down.

It was one of the most awful experiences. Primarily because I loved him so much. Whether it was the right decision or not (and I believe it was) - I chose to end my pup's life, and that was hard.

It's been two years, and I still struggle with it. I miss him something awful and so does his canine brother who really had a hard time after his brother died.

Anyway, all of that to say -- it's so hard and so personal to put a pet down. If a friend judged me for making that awful decision, I would probably just say: I had to put my dog down. I'm struggling. Please do not make this harder for me, and please don't say anything about it again until you can be supportive.

I'm so sorry. I've been there and it's so hard! I wish pets had longer life spans. :(

As yourself if their quality of life will change. Regardless of treatment. . Is the treatment painful? Will it come with side effects?

Wait til you get the official results of the test to make a decision.

As far as I'm concerned, if my pup had a serious condition and would need treatment for the rest of their life, I would wonder what their quality of life would be. If they would slowly get worse overtime, have terrible side effects from medication, and not be able to live like the happy pup he is now, I wouldn't want to see him that way.

If I could afford it, I might see how the treatments go for awhile. If I couldn't afford it, I may consider rehoming to someone who is financially able to handle it. It just would depend on how they managed the treatment, their quality of life, and financial availability.

Your friend shouldn't be the focused person. Just focus on your family and the decisions you may need to make with your Vet. It isn't their dog, it's yours. It's not their business what you do for your animal.

Keep us posted on the results. Maybe at that point we could help you further.

I'm a huge dog lover, and I am always sympathetic to owners when this kind of thing happens.

Perhaps your friend would like to provide a home for your pet. Also - there are some well funded pet rescues that have the finances to provide lifelong care for some chronic diseases in a long term foster home. If your pet's quality of life would be good (and certainly QOL can be excellent for many pets with such diseases as Diabetes, Addison's disease, etc) this might be an avenue to explore.

Beyond that it isn't really your friend's business, but you may find that your relationship with her changes. Just like you might feel differently if you found out a friend had made some decision you found morally wrong (for example if she cheated on her husband). They are not equivalent acts, but we all judge and it affects our relationships.

I went through this kind of situation with my beloved dog as well. I also have a relative who would have passed very harsh judgement, even though I did not judge her for what I thought was unnecessary pain and suffering that her pets went through, before ultimately dying anyways.

It is no one's business except between you, your pet, and the veterinarian. I simply told EVERYONE that my dog had passed away. If anyone started getting nosy about what exactly happened, I simply said I didn't really want to talk about it.

I'm so sorry about what you are going through. I think ultimately it is a beautiful gift that we can give our beloved animals a peaceful exit from this world, in our arms, feeling safe and secure.

I'm sorry this has happened. I was curious as to how your dog is doing thus far. Was this disease found during a routine exam or test, or is he displaying symptoms that are causing him pain and a reduced quality of life?

If his quality of life is good and he's not in pain, I'd not do a thing. Continue with that modified treatment and cross that bridge as it comes.

I firmly believe that pets are family. And we shouldn't cause our family to live in pain and misery if we can help them out of it. You do what your family feels is right. You owe explanation to nobody.

Wait for the diagnosis before making a decision. Ask the vet about ALL treatment options, quality of life for your pet, expected life span with treatment. If your pooch has the chance to live another 1+ years with a good quality of life, why would you euthanize it? If you're unwilling, or unable, to cover the cost of treatment, consider giving your pet up to a family who will love and care for it. Our last rescued Husky came to us with cancer (we didn't know it when we adopted him). Over the course of 3 years we opted for two minor surgeries to remove 2 tumors and 3 years treating with a "chinese medicine" vet. The oncologist wanted $10k for radiation therapy, surgeries were $900 each. The alternate care included a cooked diet, which I prepared and herbs in his food at a cost of about $100 per year. When his quality of life declined and he developed grand mal seizures, we made the decision to euthanize. His life would never be good after that point. That day was the worst in my life as far as I'm concerned, but the right thing to do. When you bring a pet into your home and make it part of your family, commitment to it's care should be part of that decision. Get all the information you can before making your decision. I must say it bothers me when people suggest a beloved pet is disposable because of inconvenience or unexpected expense. This being the case, perhaps you shouldn't have pets. Would you want your child put down if he/she required meds costing $250 per month or more? I think not. For me, my dog has the same right to care and if I can't afford it, I would give him to someone who could.

Wait until you have the facts.

Don't make a rush decision.

Think about whether you can euthanize a 5 year old dog. Have youdicussed this with the vet? Did the vet say that the 2 options are $250 a month forever or euthanasia, or are there other choices? Discuss options openly.

Ask about humane societies or rehoming organizations that might be able to find someone willing to take this on. A lot depends on the dog's prognosis and the pain level. There are many people who feel that dogs should live out their natural lives, and they budget for that. There may be another choice for you with people who have deeper pockets.

As for your friend, tell her less than you know. Tell her you discussed it with the vet and this was the best option. Don't explain more than you think you can deal with.

I'd probably talk to her. Make her your confidant. Talk to her about how you'd have to go hungry, how you'd have to sell your house maybe, etc....make it sound horrible, worse case scenario. Then ask her if you should do that or let your pet die in his own timeline.

Your pet, your checkbook, your decision. Your friend doesn't get a vote.
You do not have to inform her of your plan ahead of time. Just do what you feel you need to do.

Euthanasia is not be certainly painless. Be aware that your dog, or any animal; including humans, will still go through the same partsofbdeayh regarding who summitrf anything,?etc.