Mean Girls at School?

Tell her whenever someone does this to her to go straight to the teacher. She needs to be brave enough to speak up. The teacher will put a stop to it very quickly.

Teach her to fight back and fight dirty.

If she's over 12, she talks to the PE teacher to discuss the incident.

If she's under 12, you call/email the PE teacher, ask what happened (give the date & class period), explain your concerns without accusing the teacher of not being vigilant, and absolutely allow for the fact that kids don't always tell the whole story exactly the way things occurred. Right now, you have no idea if there are "mean girls" there or not - you only have your daughter's account.

How old is she? Where was the teacher? Does she not know how to ask for help from a trusted adult when you aren't around? You need to teach her that skill, and you need to call/email the PE teacher to confirm your daughter's story and find out what exactly happened and how they will handle incidents like this going forward.

How old is your daughter? We'd need more information to offer appropriate advice.

Eta: the original post did flame a mom and that's why I posted that its not ok to flame "other" members. There was NOTHING in my reply that said its ok to flame new members. MOST people here are regulars... No need for snarky!!

Original: If you read the terms and conditions of the site, you will see that it is against those terms to flame other members on your post. If you don't like what someone says, move on. This is a public Internet forum, you are talking to strangers and we do not all have the same opinion. Your form of flaming could be classified as bullying to others. Be responsible for your actions!!!'

The term bullying is thrown around so loosely. It's to the point if someone looks at someone oddly that's bullying to some people.

If your daughter is almost 14, why can she not speak up for herself? That's more bothersome to be than a game of dodgeball. Think about it... Engage her in some activities to learn to assert herself. She needs to stand up for herself because it's up to her to protect herself. If you can't grasp this idea now, think about a boy pressuring her for sex, etc. She needs to know how to firmly say no and stand up for herself. Get her some counseling if she's that emotionally upset.

My 21 yr old is a black belt and she will not tolerate anyone messing with her.

Dodgeball is a game and the ball is thrown at others!!! Teachers should be present during the game and I find it hard to believe that teachers would witness this activity and not stop it.

Speak with the immediate teachers involved before you go crazy going above everyone's head.

Speak with confidence and get your emotions out of your head when you address the parties involved.

In closing.... If you don't like a response, keep reading on and don't flame regular members here. Your post will be pulled.

If you're really from Lusby, you're close to me. I would think you could talk to anyone at the school or the superintendent's office. We are on the other side of the bridge, but I work with the school for things like that. However, why is she home already? I checked the calendar and your county isn't off today or on a 2 hour delay early dismissal.

That makes me think she is in half-day pre-k?

Being mean is one thing, bullying is another.

I think your first step would be to call the teacher and leave a message for her to call you immediately. She might have had something going on where she didn't see this but she might have also seen it and not cared. She is the responsible party, not the principle.

I would have sent the email to both parties, if you can't include both in the email then copy and paste same email to both.

"Mr/Mrs PE Teacher and Mr/Mrs. Principle, my daughter came home today and told me about a very distressing event that happened today.

She was XXXXXX and SSSSSS and they LLLLLLLL and GGGGG. The girls that did this to her are SSSSSS, IIIIII, RRRRRR, and JJJJJJ.

This is how I expect this to be handled by the teacher on Monday morning: these girls listed above are standing in front of that entire class and are apologizing to my child.

I also expect the principle to follow the school policy in this context from page XX, section XX, line XX of the student handbook where it states:

"asdjfaeorjaoiesjfasdxfjnsadjfewruaower" is a concequence of this sort of behavior.

I expect these girls to be dealt with by the end of the day on Monday.

One mama said to not flame regular members here... So is it okay to flame none-regular members?

talk to the pe teacher to find out why such behavior was allowed to go on. and why there was lack of supervision with the hair pulling scene...

Without knowing any more info such as age, etc. I approach it like this -

- ask kids to stop - say it loudly if they don't listen "STOP"
- if they don't you go to a teacher and get them involved

Depending on that outcome, if it persists, I've had to call the school just a couple of times over the years. One was because of a school bully who was making kids' lives miserable. Another time a boy with behavioral issues was just being overly rough with my son, and was not listening to "STOP".

I always try to have the kids handle it as much as they can, given their age, so they feel empowered and I think they know what to do in future. But if needs be, call the school and just ask to talk about what happened. Be open - there may be two sides to the story. Just ask how it will be handled in future.

This is awful! I would say to take it up with the PE teacher and if that doesn't work, the principle. I read a few of the comments and would like to point out that there are some mean people online. Let's try to be a little respectful, ladies? Hope your daughter feels better!

How old is your daughter? I ask because people may have different advice depending on her age.

It surprises me that so many asked her age when you posted it, as well as the seemingly lack of compassion.

Have we become so crude that we assume that the child somehow brought it on and therefore it must be her fault or that she must be tougher than the mean girls and beat them up? Isn't this why there are mean girls and mean girls are bullies? It's easy to be mean and hateful and always trying to push others around especially those that look weak.

I'm very sorry this happened to your girl and I know she was mentally and emotionally hurt more that physically and that's why she cried so hard. It's hard to see these things happen to your child. It's hard to see it to a stranger even.

I hope things will get better and the teachers will support what is right and peaceful for her and all the children. Is there a program set in place for these kinds of situations? You may want to take your concerns to the board of education if need be, if nothing is done. The problem is that even when the culprit is punished, they take out on the kid again.

Rely on your strengths and the standards that you have given her through the years. I don't know your belief systems but you can give her a silent mantra to repeat to herself when she feels troubled or concerned about other students to say to herself before the students even get near her or at any time she needs it. It could be something as simple as, "Brightest light, brightest light protect me both day and night." It needs to be something she believes in and says with sincerity and strength. She needs something that will give her a sense of control, of strength and stability. And you may want to consider the idea of her taking judo or something like it that is about strength in peace.

Sending the best thoughts for you and your child.