Hi there, I am a single mom to a beautiful 3 year old girl. I have suffered with anxiety most of my life and with the changes in my life since my daughter was born and moving from San Diego to Illinos it seems it had gotten worse. Thankfully I have found a great therapist and am now taking medication to ease the panic attacks and such. One of the issues I have had over the years is making friends and meeting people (I have been out with a few friends, we go to bars and the such but just looking for something a little more grounded. They are single and still free to run wild). I was scared to death before of making friends because of fears of unacceptance. I found myself not wanting to leave my house. The funny thing is I am a nice, outgoing, fun person but unfortunatly the fear has held me back. So... I am trying to get out there but am lost on how to do so, I dont have much time between work and my little girl (her dad lives in San Diego) and most of the mom groups seem to do things during the day on the weekdays. I would love to have friends and support for myself and my daughter.... kind of lost on how to go about meeting new people??
I thank you all for the wonderful notes! It has been tough for me to accept friendships and I truly plan on getting in touch with all of my new friends and spending time with other mothers. I will try the library and other groups around my area. The problem is getting the nerve up to go, but with all of your support you made me realize that I am no differant and people can accept me. I thank you all from the bottom of my heart for taking the time and reaching out to me.
Where do you live? What town? I may have some ideas for you :) You can email me if you would like .... ____@____.com
I know of some awesome mommie groups in the Plainfield, Naperville, Romeoville, Joliet and O'Hare areas also, so let me know if you're close to any of those places :)
Hi J.. My names D.. I like you don't have a lot of time as I find myself single again with three children and a hectic work schedule. However I'd like to be your friend even if it's just through email. My email address is ____@____.com. I hope that you have plenty of luck and fun finding other friends. God bless!
What town do you live in? I can give you some ideas
hi J.!
Sounds like you are taking good care of yourself and your daughter!
For me, I was able to meet people at the library events. After you attend a few regularly, people started to be more friendly. A lot of the mom's would meet (after the library) at McDonalds and chat while their kids played. I also met people at my child's daycare. I would just chat as I was dropping off/picking up and asked if they wanted to do a weekend playdate or go to a movie with the kids, etc. Have you tried Facebook? Maybe reconnecting with friends who have children of similiar ages. Is your daughter in any activities? Sometimes that presents the opportunity to meet other parents or how about a single parents club?
It is nerve racking to meet new people or to be new. I always remember to use FORM: ask about their (F)amily, (O)ccupation, (R)ecreation (hobbies what they do for fun) and (M)otivation (religon, excersize, diet,ect). These topics usually help break the ice and put you in control!
Good luck.
where do you live ? we have some small groups that meet weekdays night or weekend.
J.-- I also have lifelong problems with anxiety and depression (panic attacks, too), and my husband isn't in San Diego, but he does work 60+ hours a week, so I know how you feel.
I have a 2 year old and would love to chat-- I also have a hard time making like-minded friends. My schedule is really flexible, so please just email me and we'll chat.
I'm lonely, too-- so I'm here if you want to connect. :)
Hang in there, and good for you for reaching out. I bet this is the first step to some really rewarding relationships!
C.
Find an activity that you love doing and join. If you have wanted to learn yoga, join a yoga class (I have heard the Oaks is a very nice facility in your town.) Or sign up for the library programs/classes for adults or join a book club through there or go and see a band with a friend (i.e. CD & Me, Frankfort; Morgans, Mokena or Charlstons, New Lenox - check out Martini & Manicure night, if you are into that.)
Anywhere you go that, potentially, has an event that interests you, will potentially have people who you will find interesting. It sounds like you are a nice person. Just do a little rehearsing before you go... think of small talk ("How 'bout those Cubs?" ... or I suppose you could say... "How 'bout those Padres???")
Peoples favorite subjects are about themselves so just be interested and ask questions. Don't worry about acceptance. There are lots of nice people in the Midwest - just move on if you don't clique - it's not your fault! You will find those good friends when you least expect it. When conversation wanes, throw in something about the weather, kids or ANYTHING about San Diego, because it is one of my very favorite places to visit and I'd love to talk to someone about California! (Love, love, love La Jolla!)
It is great that you are not letting your fear rule you anymore. You're already succeeding by taking that stand!
Well, I know about anxiety problems, as I am a long sufferer too!!!! I have a 21 month old boy who loves older children. I have friends with kids too. You can always contact me as I know how it feels to be isolated at times, but cannot imagine starting a new too!!!!! ____@____.com. I live in the Bolingbrook area!
First I would like to commend you for writing this post! That takes alot of courage when you suffer from anxiety. Congrats to you! What area are you living in? MamaSource is a GREAT place to find what you need! Hopefully you live close by and we can connect! Welcome!
K.
