Mens or Womens Restrooms W/ 5 Yr Old Son?

I did the same thing. I wouldn't let him go into the mens restroom without his father. If the women can't handle it, tough beans.

You are NOT wrong. My son is 4, looks like he's almost 6. If we've gotten "the look", I've never noticed, but if I ever get it, I'll give it right back. My son isn't going to peep, he's going to pee. I'm not sending him into a bathroom alone. Any woman who doesn't like it can kiss my booty!

I don't give a hoot about the look, my son who is going on 8 will still come in with me especially if I have all 3 of my kids with me.

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i just read about an 8 year old boy being molested in the men's room in a park in broad daylight with plenty of people around. as he left, a few witnesses took note of his car and license plate but the boy's already molested. i say 5 is way too young to go into a men's room alone. who cares what others think?? you keep protecting your son!

Still ok at five. By seven or eight, a different story.

I take them in there until about age 8. In this day and age, 5 is too young to go to the men's bathroom by themselves.

5 is fine. anything over 8 i wouldnt

My son is 6.5 and I bring him to the women's restrooms with me or let him use the single family restrooms alone as long as I'm sitting where I can watch him the whole way there and the whole way back. I don't envision letting him go into the men's room alone for quite a while. The world is just too crazy and the bad guys don't have any problem taking advantage of a single moment.

At 5 I think it is fine to keep taking him with you. Ignore any looks and keep your boy safe.

Uh, Mine are 7 (and he looks much older) and 4 and they still go to the women's room with me. As long as my boys are polite and respectful I could care less what others think ;)
C.

Sue - If that one was yours you would regret it for the rest of your life and that's not mentioning the "other" things that can happen in there. I think there is a big difference between raising a paranoid child or just simply a wise child. When it comes to my children statistics mean nothing to me.

Believe me! I just "started" letting my son go into the mens room and he's 8! I totally agree with YOU! How do you know who's in that restroom with your son? It's a scary world and you never know what can happen. I see it all the time and it never bother's me. As for the one's that give you the "look" ignore them because if they don't like it then they shouldn't use a public bathroom. I still get freaked out when my son goes into the mens bathroom and if I feel that he's taken longer then usual then i'll actually open the mens bathroom door and call his name out, I don't care only because I am responsible for the safety of my children and need to make sure he's ok. Just pay no attention to the one's that give you a bad look. But I totally agree with you!

You have to be protective of your children. Short story here: A friend of mine was sitting at a restaurant one day and took her young nephew into the ladies room with her. Outside the mens room was a woman who was waiting on her 12 year old son to come out of the restroom. When my friend came out of the ladies room with her nephew, the woman asked if he could go into the mens room to see if her son was done. She said, no, they do not allow the children in their family into a public restroom alone. The next man that walked into the restroom, she asked for him to check on her son. He came out screaming for an ambulance. The last guy that had been in the bathroom, had raped and murdered her son while she was standing outside waiting on him. Your son's life is well worth all the looks you get! If I had that choice, I would never allow my child to go to the restroom alone. I was blessed with girls so they always went with me.

Unless he physically needs your help, I think you could let him try the men's room, if he wants to. I wouldn't really mind seeing a 5 year old boy in the ladies room, but it does seem you have a fear-based reasoning. I would ask him what he wants to do. You could always stand outside the door while he goes into the men's room alone.

Whenever possible I have my son (who will be 5 next week) use the men's by himself while his little brother and I wait outside but very close to the door. If it's really busy or something about the situation makes me nervous, I just take him in the women's restroom.

The biggest reason I've been sending him by himself whenever possible is that he will be going to all day PreK in August, and I don't want him to be freaked out when his teacher expects more bathroom independence. When I went to the orientation night, that was one of the things the principal mentioned. This was in March, so I'm so glad she mentioned it. Definitely gave me time to work with him and help him not to feel pressure or feel rushed. Anyway, I figure the more opportunities he has to do this with me standing outside, the better.

Added:
So I just read the other posts, and I want to clarify. If I need to use the restroom and there's not other adult with us, he comes with me, period. If he needs to use the restroom and there's only one entrance and it's not crowded and nothing about this situation is giving me the heeby jeebies, I send him. Otherwise, we go in the women's.

I had my grandsons (ages 6 and 8) a couple weeks ago and when they had to pee during a trip to target we headed into the woman's restroom. I don't consider myself super protective however I wasn't about to let them go into a bathroom alone and since I'm sure the men using it wouldn't appreciate me in there I decided to take the boys with me.

I didn't have my son use the men's room until he was 8. And by then, he was asking to.

I still would ask him before he went it, what he needed to do (pee or poop) so I would know how much time to allow while standing outside the door. Then, if it seemed to be more time than was necessary for him to do what he needed to, I'd open the door halfway and call in to him.

I did that for about a year or two, probably. Now he goes on his own, as long as it's a place we are familiar with......restaurants we frequent, our grocery store, etc. But if we are traveling or in a strange store, I will stand outside the door waiting for him, and check on him, if need be.

And talk about "looks"!! You should see the stare downs I give the other men as they walk past me to go in the men's room! LOL Just lettin' them know - I'm watching!

ADDED: Kristi, Sorry, but your short story sounds like an urban legend. Unless you have dates and locations to back up that story, I don't believe it does anyone any good to perpetuate it. You're only making moms freak out. We're on this site to help each other, not be a sensationalist!

I really think 5 is fine. What can he really do in a woman's restroom, that would be so bad? Ignore the look! You're fine.

Continue to take him into the Women's restroom and ignore any "looks." I've gotten them, too, but I AM the one responsible, not them.

I have never gotten 'the look' from anyone yet....but even if I did I SO would NOT care! This is my child's safety we are talking about here!

I have a 5y/o and if it is just the 2 of us I absolutely take him in the womens restroom with me.

I am paranoid about the restrooms, I admit that...but like I said, I do NOT care what others say or think about it. Sorry.

*We were just in Portland, Or. for a vacation and we were driving so there were lots of rest-stop stops and shopping being done and while we were there, there was a news story about a guy (average looking 20 something) they had just caught who was molesting 7y/o boys in rest-stop and shopping mall bathrooms! Apparently, they had caught him once, he was released and then caught doing it again and he had already served time in another state for the same thing...Scary!!!

The threat is real.

Our son is 6 and still goes into the women's restroom with me. Quite frankly, my son's safety is much more important than the judgmental looks of a stranger I'm never going to see again. There is more than 1 story out there of little boys going into men's restrooms alone and getting hurt or killed. Our son would be too scared to go into the bathroom on his own and wouldn't use it anyway.

There was one boy murdered in a public restroom in 1998 in the US. There are about 73 Million children in this country. What are the odds? The world is not crazy. The crime rate is lower than it's been since the 1970s, including crime against children. The biggest danger to children is riding in cars. Thousands of children are killed in car crashes every year. The second biggest danger is drowning.

Please put things in perspective and teach your child some basic safety rules and proceedures, for all situations. Please read the book "Free range Kids" to get some real data and perspective on what the dangers to our children are (they are safer than EVER before). Never letting our children out of our site only raises insecure, fearful, and incompetent young people.

keep him with you! Who cares what others may think. He's yours and you want to keep him safe!

I'm surprised that other women would give you bad looks for taking your son into the women's bathroom. I wouldn't pay them any mind whatsoever!!!!!!
Listen, I have two kids, a girl and a boy and I took my son into the women's restroom. I have had more than my share of dads approach me and ask me very politely if I wouldn't mind taking their daughters in to go potty. I always said yes. My gosh, can you imagine being a single dad or a dad just out with a little one and wondering what to do? You surely wouldn't want to take a little girl into a men's room with the urinals and stuff. Ick. I always happily obliged and thankfully I'm not a weirdo and they could trust me.
There were times I let my son go into the men's room, but I checked to make sure no one was in there first and then stood outside the door. If another guy came along, I asked him to please wait for my son to come out. I said he was little and it was a safety thing. The men always waited. The first time that happened, there were 50 people in line in the ladies room and my son really had to pee. There was no one in the men's room, so I let him go in. But, I stood vigil.
One of our malls has a "family" bathroom. It's spacious with changing tables, etc. You see moms and dads and their little kids in tow. Nobody stares at anyone in there because it's for "families".
I don't know what you mean by "older" women...I'm "older". I grew up in a time where we didn't have to worry about a lot of things we have to worry about these days. Still, I understand completely when I see a little boy in the ladies room. 5 is still young enough, for sure.
When my son got older, I had him go into the mens' restroom first and tell me if there was anybody in there. Sometimes he didn't like the looks of somebody and wanted to wait. But otherwise I waited outside and he did fine.
Not all people are pervs and I found both men and women to be understanding.
You will eventually have to let your son go into a men's room. And, let him have the confidence to do so. But at 5, I don't blame you for just taking him in with you when you go.

Best wishes.

Me - single mom to boy.
He went to the women's bathroom with me until he was old enough to complain about it which was older than 5. :)
Ignore the looks - do what you think is safe and best for your child.

He is not too old to go into the restroom with you. My son is 10 now and only since he was 8 have I felt ok with it. And if he takes too long, I have asked male store associates to look in or even peeked in and called out to him.

My boys are 7 and 8. If we are someplace I'm comfortable with (a place we frequent), I will let them go together into the men's room. Occasionally, I'll let them go alone. If I'm not familiar with where we are, I will take them in the women's room with me. However, I have been known to march myself into the men's room if my boys are taking too long. Ya seen one, ya seen em all. lol

I don't think I let my oldest go to the men's restroom by himself until he was about 7 or 8. And even then, I told him - if you aren't out in 5 minutes, I'm coming in after ya. And don't think I haven't. I most usually will call into the bathroom after about a minute and make sure that he is ok....:). Call me over protective but ya gotta know that its serious business if you mess with my kid.

Don't mind the older women. They all have their opinions and if they were in the "mom" moment like you - they'd most likely do the same thing!

My boy is 6 and he still goes in with me. I will not send him in alone until I am ready to. I say let the "older" women look and do what feels right to you.

i would not let him to to a public mens room alone yet, you are right, there are super creepy people out there. i wouldnt even let a girl that age go into a womens room alone, women can be sexual predators too.

You are fine....I am "old " (67) and I would not think twice about a 5 or 6 year old boy in the Ladies' room. I was taken aback last year by a woman who brought her 8-10 year old son into the Ladies' Locker room at the indoor pool I swam at regularly, and she was not very circumspect about his behavior......not acceptable.

Looks Shmooks... I wouldn't worry about what other people think, or what you think other people think. My son is almost 6 and he goes into the women's restroom with me. Do what you feel is best and safest for your son and don't give it a second thought.

Id have him use the womans....I answered an earlier post about letting a 4 yr old girl go potty alone while the dad stands outside and waits....so this may be a big contradicting BUT....woman use stalls and it is more private.

if there is a single stall bathroom and hes the only one it in, i'd send him in, other than that I';d ignore people...although depending how mature he is, i think its fine to send in a 5 year old and stand at the door of the mens room if its a not that crowded place like at a resteraunt (at the shore or amusement park, def take them to the girls), i send my 4 year old in the ladies bathroom at resteraunts and stand at the door and check on her after 2 min...i've only done this after seeing it was empty though...but at 5 i think they can if you're not super paranoid and he knows to go in and get out...worse that happens is u have to go in the mens room and fish him out...i don't worry about someone doing something inappropriate in the 2 sec i leave her alone

no way would I send a 5 year old into a bathroom by himself. I took my boys into the women's bathroom until they were about 10 - and even later depending on where we were. Never once had a "look" or a problem. There have been reports in the paper of boys being molested at 8 years old in CrackerBarrel. I have heard of issues in McDonalds in other states and at Magic Mountain a few years ago. Keep doing what you are doing.

I have to agree with you. I am a single mom of an almost 5 year old. No way do I feel comfortable sending him into the men's room by himself in today's world. He goes in the stall in the women's closes the door does his business while I stand outside the stall and wait for him. He washes his hands and we leave. If there is a family restroom I do utilize it, but not all places have that option. So no I don't think you are wrong to take him in the women's bathroom.

Let 'em look. Crabby prudes.

I took my boys into the women's restroom till they were like 17. (I'm kidding, but it was something like that.)

Don't pay any attention to them. Bring him on in... That's why there are doors on the stalls! I wouldn't even flinch at seeing a 5 year old boy in the restroom.

I have a 4 almost 5 year old son.
This is what we do:

1) NEVER send him to a public restroom by himself.
2) If he is with me, he goes to the bathroom with me, to the women's.
3) If he is with my Husband, he goes to the bathroom with my Husband to the Men's restroom.
4) If he is with Grandma or Aunty, he goes with them to the Women's restroom.

5) NO WAY, would I let him, go to ANY public restroom, by himself.
NO way.
It takes only seconds, for a child to be molested or to be abducted.

And if the bathroom has 2 separate entry/exit doors... then that is adding more uncertainty, to the safety of your child.

6) I... personally have NEVER EVER, had nasty looks from other women, when I am with my Son in the Women's restroom. THEY understand. This is a young child, my child, and he goes to the bathroom accompanied... by me. I don't send him in there, by himself.

Now, my daughter is 8. She can go to the bathroom by herself... but I am still, there at the door. Outside. I don't send her, across a huge store to walk to the bathroom by herself and then come back by herself. Nor in a Restaurant. I accompany her to the restroom, and wait outside the door.
IF she is with my Husband, he does the same. Walk her TO the Girls bathroom, and wait outside the door.

Kids, can and do disappear, just in a few seconds.
No matter, what the age of the child is.

totally with you. People should appreciate that we care about our children. % is young. I did it until he was 8 maybe later. But I try to plan ahead and I do stand right outside the men's room now that he is older.

I would definitely let him go in the men's bathroom =)

Absolutely take him in with you!!

You aren't crazy. You are right in protecting your son. Besides, unless there are open stalls, they aren't seeing anything. The locker room is another story. I don't see the big deal here.

If I am alone I take my six year old to the restroom with me. In some cases I would let him go to a mens restroom depending on the environment. But what else would I do with him when I go to the restroom? leave him alone at a zoo? standing alone in a highway rest stop? I dot think so. No adult has ever given me a strange look, once a girl said something but she was too young to understand why..

My son is 5 and I still take him into the womans bathroom too and for the same reasons, I don't trust anyone! My son can lock the stall doors but we all know sometimes they get stuck and can't unlock them so then we would have to do what...........run into the men's bathroom to save them?? Or hope some kinds gent would help them?? Heck no!! You keep taking your boy to the women's bathroom till you feel he is capable of handling himself in the boys room!

S.

Okay, I may sound too opinionated on this but no way would I let him go into a men's room unattended ! If someone looks at you funny, look at them right back because in this day and age, I wouldn't let him go unattended until he is at least 8, but probably more like 10. I see boys all the time in the women's restroom with their mom's and it is no big deal. I was at an event the other day and the mom and I were talking. It was at a very nice and new park. The boy ran into the restroom and the mom actually went in there to check to make sure it was empty ! He had to be 7 years old. I was out a couple weeks ago to a McDonalds. I talked to this 80 year old woman and she was spot on when she said you can't take your eyes off your kids these days !

Don't do it. What if...he went in there and a pervert "flashed" him? You simply cannot prepare your son for, at his age, for all the weird stuff these monsters do. Don't let him out of your sight.

I've gotten 'the look' with my 3 1/2 year old son! Granted he looks older, but whatever. I'm going to bring him in there as long as I think is necessary and too bad for the moms who don't like it.

Try to use family restrooms when ever possible.

If you are afraid of letting him got to the men's room, then take him to the women's restroom. But some day you will have to let him go to the men's room. When will that be?

Good luck to you and yours.

My oldest is 9, and i just started letting him go into the men's restroom by himself, but only in specific situations (places we are familiar with, etc). My second son is almost 7 - i will not allow him to go by himself most places, but if his big brother is with him, I will allow it. I think i'm way over protective, but I get nervous when I'm in an uncontrolled public place and I'm unable to see my children lol - maybe by the time they are ready for college I'll be more comfortable with it???

Do whatever you feel is comfortable and safe - that's the best we can do for our kids, and the world is definitely not as safe as it was when we were kids!

sending hugs!
~T.

Nope ignore the look and keep doing it. Safety first.

I don't give a hootin nanny who complains, my 5 1/2 yr old will go with me! He can't even reach the sink for heaven's sakes to wash his hands. No way I'm sending him in the men's bathroom alone. The only way he is going in there is if my husband takes him.

I know the rule at our gym is 5, but to me that is way too young.

6 is the cutoff for the city of chicago public facilities for anyone of either sex to be in an opposite sex restroom. They have signs posted. I'm not sure how much anyone actually pays attention to the signs - but they are at all the park district facilities throughout the city (or public venues controlled by the park district - for example areas of milenium park that are city property but managed by the park district.

I wouldn't be able to say if you are 'wrong' - I would say it depends on how you have taught your son to behave in the women's restroom. At 5 he may be physically big enough to cause discomfort if he is staring etc and there is a woman who is modest - so you would want to teach him to be respectful. I have been in bathrooms were kids try to peek at you through the slats in the door/walls of the stalls. That is completely unacceptable. So as long as you have taught him manners I wouldn't think anyone would mind. Most adults would understand you are bringing him with you out of concern for his safety.

However, within the next couple of years you definitely will want to work with him on being at the maturity level to be in the mens restroom alone and how to handle any situation that he might encounter in there.

My 10 & 7 year old still come with me if my husband isn't with us to take them. I know of a 12 year old boy raped in a restaurant bathroom (a relative).
My kids know manners, we take care of business and leave. They don't peep, they don't make rude comments. Just in, take care of business and leave.
It'll be a while before they go alone still.
Don't care what others think, my kids, my piece of mind.

Right around 6 is when I started having my son use the men's restroom alone & even then I stayed right by the door & have been known to give a 'mom yell' into the men's room to check on him if he's been in there too long.

of course you are doing the right thing! kids have been killed in bathrooms!!! if someone is looking at you just ask her whats wrong. i mean all the stalls have doors in womens restrooms so there shouldn't be a problem. my son is 8 and i dont let him go by himself, if my husband is with us, he goes in with him and if its just me than i stand outside the door but if he takes more than 2 minutes i yell in and ask if hes ok, just so the other men will know that i'm right there. good luck!