Messy Household Need Help

As my kids get older I see how fast they grow and change. They will be gone before I know it (they're now 6 and 9, house still messy). I just tell myself that someday the house will be clean and it really doesn't matter in the big scheme of things. I know someday I'll be able to keep a better house but now I just want to enjoy my little ones.

I'll never forget about the time my sister and I had a pillow fight (we were about 6 and 4 at the time) with goose down pillows and one of them broke. Our bedroom looked like it was snowing, with goose down floating almost suspended in the air. Our Mom walked in about then, and we were almost in tears about what we sure was going to be some horrible shouting, and she surprised us by almost falling over laughing. Fast forward 32 years. My 2 yr old son decides to help with the newspaper recycling. In the few minutes it took for me to get a snack in the kitchen, he had gone to the papers and one by one got them from the pile, spread them all over the living room floor. I got out my camera and have pictures of him rolling in it. A few months later, we got a large box delivered which had a lot of corn starch packing peanuts. Soon as I had the object out of the box, my son launched himself into the box. Ultimately, I took the box out onto the deck, and when we finished playing, I hosed down the peanuts and they melted away - I just love corn starch packing peanuts. I've got pictures of that, too. Sure, every mess took a bit of cleaning, but the pictures are priceless. Yes, there's general clutter with kids and it can be frustrating. But don't let it stop you from just enjoying your children. When they are grown up and happy and healthy, is anyone going to remember or care how clean you kept the house? Kids are the ultimate out-of-the-box thinkers. They will surprise you in ways you never dreamed possible. Some of it will be messy. Just roll with it and keep your camera handy.

We have a tiny house and two kids and have found that the best system for not feeling completely overrun by toys is 1) make sure everything has a place and 2) everything gets picked up and put away before afternoon naps and again before bed. I'm not perfect with this system, but it makes a huge difference when I stick with it. We have some cubbies and baskets for different kinds of toys, and only what fits in them stays in the house--everything else lives in bins in the garage, and I try to rotate out toys every month or so (and give some to the thrift store occasionally to make room for the new stuff). My 3-year-old helps me put things away, and now he can even help with the toy rotation--deciding what he's bored with and what looks fun to bring out again. Good luck!

Ugh I know the feeling. I am constantly surrounded by clutter and mess and it makes me freaking crazy. I get the kitchen and the living room cleaned up but then my kids rooms are a mess. (which are right off the living and dining room so they are very visible, daily). If I get the kids rooms clean then the laundry and dishes suffer. Its like I can never have more than 1-2 things orderly at a time. I have 3 kids. I dont mind some toys here and there, thats expected. I dont think you really can overcome or get used to the mess if its something you dont like. I certainly dont plan on liking it anytime soon. I just tell myself to do my best and enjoy the clean parts when I can. So basically you just deal. Try not to stress over it. I know thats easy to say. I stress daily over it. I feel like if my 11yr old would do her part that would help and also if my husband would pick stuff up as he sees it that would help too. But unfortunately they are oblivious to it all. Thats ok, that means they have no grounds for complaints about how messy the house is, lol.

Hi K.... are you the mom with 2 girls or you are another K.? Anyway, I just want to tell you that: 1. Your life has changed, so you cannot expect to have everything organized at home as it was before having kids. This is the most important issue as it's "you against you", so only you can solve this contradiction. 2. Be a little bit more relaxed with mess... widen your limits of what is a proper house and what is not. Accept that life with kids implies living with at least a little bit of mess around you. 3. Teach your kids to tidy up the area where they have been playing BEFORE they go to the next activity/action/room. Do it as a routine and as part of the game. Announce "ok kids, time for lunch, but BEFORE that, we need to tidy up the room". And start to throw the toys into a container (a bag, a box, whatever)making a lot of noise as if that was the most exiting game in the world, so your kids feel that they are "playing to throw toys" and that's just a stage of the game before steping to the next game, lunch time. It works, believe me. This will not help you keep your home as clean and organized as it was before you had kids, but will help a lot.
If you still can't cope with the mess, then consider paying somebody to help you 2 - 3 hours a week on Fridays, for example, so you can "enjoy" weekends in a relatively clean and organized home!
Cheers from Spain :-)
C.

Give yourself time you have two small children. It's going to take a while to get into the swing of things.
Kids come with toys but if they annoy you than you may need to restrict them to certain rooms (like the bedroom) Good luck

Hi K.~
I know I'm a little late in responding, but I want to share what works for me. I have two boys, ages 2 and 4 1/2. The house is always a mess... to me... I have people come over and say the same thing... wow... your house looks great, while I'm cringing at the mess! We use wicker baskets in the living spaces to keep toys... the boys help clean up when it's time. I try to have them clean up the last thing they played with before they get out something new. Sometimes that works, too. ;)

The most important thing is mental, though. Picture the house clean and quiet. No toys... no screaming... no tv blaring the latest Disney flick... no crayon/play-doh/snack mess... Great, huh? Now remember what else that means: no sleepy smiles... no hugs and kisses from your beautiful children... no funny mis-spoken words... no one running to you yelling, "Mommy" when you walk in the door... no one to watch grow and learn. The list goes on and on...

This may sound funny or weird, but if you really think about what it means to have that "mess" and think about the alternative... well, it made it easier for me to give myself a break now and then. I recently had a terrible fall... I broke my back among other things... I've had awful dreams that my children or my husband have died... I'm healing really well, but I've also found my priorities... I'm still struggling with keeping the house from getting too messy, but I don't beat myself up if I let it slide sometimes.

Be well. This time will slip by too quickly. Forget about how clean things are. Enjoy yourself and your children.
~J.

Even a 2 year old can play the "put toys in bin" game. We give our house a decent cleaning every other weekend as a family. If everyone pitches in, it doesn't seem so tedious. Especially with young children, give yourself a break.

I saw in your other request where you said your newest is only 3 weeks old! Just remember this time will pass. Try to remind yourself that they are only this little ONCE, and when your youngest stops needed to breastfeed as often, and can sit up in her bouncy and watch you pick up toys, or do dishes, then you'll have more time to keep the house more like you want to. I wish I was motivated to do mine at all! Since having my 2nd BOY, I haven't wanted to do anything and its just getting worse and worse...and he's almost 3, now! Depression over a cheating husband doesn't help! I kicked him to the curb, though, so hopefully I'll get movitated soon and make him wish he wasn't so stupid! If it bothers you that much, see if hubby is willing to pick up the toys at the end of the day so that when you wake up, its clean...if only for a few fleeting moments! Don't forget you are still healing too...give your body time to get its energy back! You just brought a life into the world! Pray about it and ask for peace. God will help you, and remember: "You only get just one time around You only get one shot at this One chance, to find out The one thing that you don't wanna miss One day when it's all said and done I hope you see that it was enough, this One ride, one try, one life... To love..." --33 miles (its a song if you didn't know that)! Kiss that baby!

I am the same - people think my house is immaculate, but to me there is always dirt...comes with being a perfectionist - and I don't even have a baby!! Try making a game out of it with your 2 year old...sing a song or have her play like she is putting her toys away - so you get interaction with her and things get picked up at the same time...you can also teach her how to dust...just get a swiffer and have her go to town while you are vacuuming or something. It must be very hard with a small baby....but you could try to have one room where kid stuff doesn't go, where you can relax, and take a breath! I can't stand to look at mess - it just makes me tired! But when I go to the sunroom or out to the back porch, I can read a book or something and then feel refreshed and clean the rest of the house. I compartmentalize a lot - so take one room at a time...and not let the kids stuff all over the house. And cut yourself some slack! Remember that time passes and your kids will only be young for a short time, so maybe get a maid once a month (if you can afford it in this economy) or go out to eat instead of cooking, or just make a schedule of days to do certain chores so you don't feel like you have to do it all at once and you can keep track of it (this helped me a lot - dust only on Wed and vacuum only on Thursday, so I wouldn't get overwhelmed on Wed and try to do both and then Thursday something else...each day had it's own thing).
Also - STORAGE! If there are places to put things, then it will be easier to put them there....so I have some little storage ottomans that are three sizes - I keep video games, massage pillow, and movies in them - but you can easily store toys, etc in them and they are pretty decorations and functional too - they have lids that flip over to make a hard surface for drinks...and they roll around so you can use them as a foot stand, end table, or whatever....

Having organizing tools that fit into the decor can help some. Wicker baskets, Rubbermaid 3-drawer/4-drawer rollaways, and colorful bins all make the clutter look neat and tidy. Also, rethink and assess the functionality of each room where you think there is clutter. For instance, with one child, we could have a designated play area. With two moving children, we moved all toys to their rooms. When they are being punished, they are not sent to their rooms (unless Mommy needs the time out). But moving all of their toys to their own rooms helped rest of the house stay clean. Still have one area set aside as playzone, but really it's for guests who have children. My children play with their faves in their room. If one strays into another area (like our bedroom), I remind child to come get their toy. If Mommy has to remove it, it might end up in the Goodwill pile. It helps.

good thing you have a 2 year old! when my 2nd daughter was born 21 months after my first, i felt the exact same way. it literally brought me to tears a few times, i was so overwhelmed. but, since youve got to tidy up anyway, get your daughter to start helping out and learning how to clean up. it will take a little bit of extra effort at first, but after a while you can tell her 'you know where that goes'... she'll be proud to be your little helper! teach her where the dirty clothes go, so instead of discardd garments everywhere, just make ONE pile, so its not so overwhelming. teach her that the dishes go on the counter, and she needs to put her toys away before lunch/bedtime/school whatever. not only are these skills she will need for the rest of her life, it will be an enormous help to you, and she will have a feeling of self worth for pitching in. good luck to you!!

Yes, I feel the same. I kept it together fairly well when I had just the one child. But now that I have two of them it's a never-ending battle and on some days I just give up. I have definitely lowered my standards. I just hope that when they are like 5 and 3 that I will be able to involve them in helping and things will start getting better again. Also, maybe by then they will actually sleep through the night and I'll be less tired and have more energy to declutted and clean

K.:

Hello! I didn't read the other responses first. Do if this is a repeat, I'm sorry.

She's two - she's old enough to put her toys away herself. Remind her that if she takes it out, she puts it away. If she doesn't you will take it away.

You may be tired - which is normal for having two small ones. Jus tmake sure you don't have post-pardum depression - it doesn't always happen right after the baby is born.

If you can afford it - have someone come in and do the basic cleaning for you - trust me, it was a life-line for me when I was a SAHM - we paid a cleaning company to come in every two weeks and it made the difference for us - not just me, but my husband. I didn't feel overwhelemed with mess, clutter, etc.

The best thing though to get started on right away is having yoru 2 year old pick up after herself.

Take care!

K., let me just start by saying all of us mom's feel that way. For me, it took us 10 years to have our 1st - who is now 6, I also have a 15 month old and another one on the way - - I have learned that my kids come 1st - play time with them has been so important for me. My son, now in Kindergarten is top reader and top Math in his class - all because I took time with him to "Play". Once the kids get a bit bigger, they can start helping around the house. But for now, we are enjoying the "play time" and being a very relaxed family. I also have to admit that time is hard to find and I have someone come in every other week to do the "Cleaning" - bathrooms, dusting, floors, etc. I do still have to keep the floors vacuumed and pick up stuff before she comes - but hiring a cleaning has been the best advise I have ever taken!

Check out www.flylady.net She has some GREAT advice and tips for just this topic!!