I'm not sure if I can help since I am no longer nursing but regarding formula and dairy, I've had some experience. Good Start formula gave my son eczema and he now struggles with asthma & allergies. I've had several moms and recently our chiropractor recommend giving up dairy to see what happens. We're on week 3 of no dairy guess what, no more cough! No more throat clearing, no more "gunky" sounds coming from my toddler. Time will tell if no dairy helps his asthma but for now, I am one thrilled momma!
We tried rice milk & almond milk, both he drinks but he's not crazy about them. I feel like the almond is more nutritious, not just a starch like the rice milk. I don't like soy milk because of the hormone-like estrogen in it which I've read about. I don't feel comfortable giving him soy but you could always try it. We are now giving goat's milk a try because I've read it's very close to breast milk and much easier for them to digest. Dr. Sears has some good info on goat's milk. My son loves goat's milk so far and I'm hoping he tolerates it alright. It does have a strong smell, so I'm not sure if you would like it but you could try. There's also special formulas if it comes to that for you, out there for milk sensitive babies, like Neocate. Good luck, there are lots of options for you!