Mom Needing Advice on Taking Away the Pacifier

When my son was about 18mths, I started only letting him have the pacifier in his bed. Then at 2 or so, I cut down the middle of this pacifier. When he put it in is mouth, he immediately took it out and looked at it. He never used it from that point on. Suprisingly he did really well and there wasn' a lot of crying. I hope this helps.

Hi Dawn,
My girls are thumb suckers. I haven't had personal experience with this, although I have friends who have. My aunt cut the very tip off & let it go for a few days. Then she cut a little more off & let it go, and so on. My cousin was a HUGE paci user, he would have 2 or 3 in his little mouth at once & try to talk with them in! I've heard of giving them to the "Pacifier Fairy" or giving them to "poor" kids, or even traiding them in for a toy. In my opinion that's very hard to do with a little guy ~ probably better for older kids. Good luck, I hope it's an easy transition!
H.

We cut the tip off and told my daughter that it was broken. She cried the first few nights, but soon replaced it with singing herself to sleep. It wasn't nearly as bad as I thought it was going to be. Good luck.

This is going to take tough love. The first couple of nights he may cry himself to sleep,but,at 2 years old he should know the meaning of no. I suggest you pitch all the 'pacies" in the trash. Out of sight--out of mind. My daughter was attached to her blankie until she tossed it out the window on the highway. She survived without it.(although i was not sure i was going to)ha-ha after 2-3 nights she was fine. Good luck

Schedule time & activities DAILY WITHOUT the pacifier...things that require his hands doing something else.....finger painting, singing silly songs or nursery rhymes. Make sure to remind him how much fun you had MINUS the pacifier. Make SURE to emphasize that he's a big boy and doesn't need it any more.

See if a soft animal and/or truck (Maiter) or something of that nature, might be able to take the place of at least the one he's holding.

Allow him to put it into a pocket on his clothing and pull it out if "necessary". THEN.....he's only allowed a few limited amount of sucks on it and it goes BACK into the pocket. It's a security thing, too, so knowing it's in his pocket is helpful. I've seen some of my 3 year olds use this method and it WORKS. At some point, he'll forget to even put it there.

My daughter had her tonsils removed before she was three. It was at this time that I decided the paci had to go. The approach that I took was to puncture the end of her paci with scissors so she couldn't suck on it. After a few days I clipped the end of the paci off and continued to do so every couple days until there wasn't much left. It was then that she decided her paci wan't doing her any good and she no longer wanted it. This may sound cruel, but it was a very easy transition with no trauma.

The paci became a bed/crib only item when my daughter was one. Then, as her second birthday approached, we decided we needed to get rid of it altogether. We told her for weeks that pacis were something for babies and when she turned two she wouldn't be a baby any more. We talked this to death!!! We did let her pick out a big girl item (some kind of animal or something like that, I don't remember) to receive when she turned two. We talked about how much babies need pacis and that we were going to collect hers and give them to a baby that needed them.

On the morning of her second birthday we went around and collected all the pacis we could find. She somberly placed them in a little gift back, which we tied with a ribbon and wrote "For babies" on the outside. I just tucked them away and then tossed them when she wasn't looking. I thought it was important to get them out of the house so I wouldn't cave in and give one back to her! This seemed to work remarkably well. I had gone as far as asking a woman at our church (who had a new baby)if we could give her the pacis for show, just in case my daughter got hung up on the giving them to another baby part. Turns out we didn't need to do that, but I wanted to have my bases covered.

I have also heard about people gathering the pacis and leaving them someplace for the "paci fairy" to come and get, leaving a surprise in their place.

Good luck! It took my daughter about two weeks to stop asking for her pacis at nap time and bed time.

-K.
http://mdwestmom.blogspot.com

We are going through the same thing with our 2 year old...our biggest problem is that we are expecting again (our 4th) and i hate to take something away from him when thing are going to get crazy around here. What I have started doing is snipping off the end of his bink and plan on doing a little more every couple of days. That worked for my oldest who is now 8....but than again every child is different...good luck.

Does he only use it at night? With my middle daughter, she was about the same age when we started this. We cut her back ot only using it at night. We had a clear glass jar with a lid that we called the "binki jar." I held the jar and she went around the house and collected all of her binkis and put them into the jar. Then we put the lid on and put it on mommy's dresser. We explained that the only time she could have a binki was when mommy or daddy gaver her one (which was only at bed time). When she got up in the morning, she put the binki back into the jar herself so she knew it was there and safe. One morning, after doing this for about two months, she asked me to get the jar down so she could show me somehting. After a short discussion, I did so, and she took the jar to the kitchen and dumped it into the garbage! I asked her why she did that and she simply said "because I don't need them anymore." Of course after she left the room, I fished out a couple of them and stashed them away just in case we had a blow up at bedtime. That night she asked for one, and I jsut told her that we didn't have any because she said she didn't need them and threw them away. She was totally ok with it, and never asked for one again. I never thought it would be that easy because she was really hooked on them. Good luck.

Hi Dawn,
I cut the tip of my daughter's off a little at a time. It worked great. Then when it was completely cut off, I let her throw it away, so that she knew it was in the trash. You could do this with the one he puts in his mouth, then do it to the one he holds. That way you aren't doing it to both of them at the same time. It worked so well, that I did it with both my kids who used pacifiers. Good luck.
T.

Our orthodontist said that most teeth problems are due to genetics and diet--not sucking on anything(thumb or paci) at least until the age of 3 or so. My 2nd daughter had the most need for orthodontic work and was the only one who did not suck anything for comfort--my oldest and youngest sucked their thumbs, the oldest needed simple braces and teh youngest had perfect teeth. you can not allow him to have the pacis except at sleep time to cut back on how much he has them--but otherwise let him decide when he is ready(he will in time!)

Hi Dawn!

My husband and I are doing the same thing with our almost 20 month old daughter. The only time she really takes her "bopper" now is at bedtime or naptime. If she cries for it during the day, we ask her if she really wants it. She usually walks away. And if we do give it to her any other time besides bed/naptime, she just carries it. Ask your son if he really needs it and see what he does. It just may be that he's not ready to give it up yet. Good luck! I hope this helps.

Don't stress on this one. My daughter was close to 3 when we forgot it on a trip. We said, Oh well. She didn't take to that to well. She obviously wasn't ready to give it up, and used it only at nap/sleep time. It's not worth traumatizing your son! He WILL let go when he's ready, and it will be a lot easier on both of you. For now, only let him have it in his crib/bed, and make him leave it in there. Also, about the braces- EVERY KID is going to need them!!!!!! There is no way around it. VERY FEW kids will have "perfect" teeth w/o them. it is not worth stressing him out at the age of 2 for something that is inevitably going to happen anyway.
HTH,
K.

I heard of someone putting all the pacifers onto a bundle of helium balloons and sending them to fairy's , Santa Claus, you name it whatever he is into. and watching them float away. The child willingly gave them up that way.

I have friends who have used both the "Paci Fairy" and packing them all up to give to another baby ideas sucessfully. With our son I told him paci's were only for bed & wouldn't let him have one anywhere else. After a few weeks (2 or 3) I started "loosing" them until there was only one left. I told him when that one was gone, there were no more. It rolled under his bed one night & that was it. He was OK with it. He's 5 now & I just found one in a box under our bed! :)

Hello,

I remember these days! At a 18 month dentist visit he said the pacifier needed to be gone at 2. My daughter is a Christmas baby so we told her she was going to leave her Pappy's for the baby reindeer on Christmas eve. When we left milk and cookies for santa we left the pappy's for the baby deer. She did fine and to my surprise slept great. I think it helped she was involved in the transition and she loves giving, so it helped they were going to someone more in need! Ha! Ha! I have also heard of people leaving them to the easter bunny or Pacifier fairy in exchange for a small gift. Hope this helps!

My son also loved his binkies and he was about 2 1/2 when he stopped. He would hide them all over the house and would have one in his mouth and one in his hand. We found all his binkies and cut the tips of them off and then replaced them. When he found them he said,"What happened to my binkies?" I told him that he sucked them so much that he sucked the tips right off of them. He then wanted to go to Walmart and get more but I told them that we had already had our limit of binkies and they would not sell us anymore. He then decided to give his broken binks to the trash man. The first night was a little hard but then I reminded him that he gave them to the trash man and he never looked back. I hope this works for you.
T. E.

I have a couple of ideas......My son had his paci until he was 18 months and I took it away after we got home from Disney World. I didn't really replace it with anything. I just took it away one night and he cried for awhile, but the next night he was fine.

Another way is you can tie it to a balloon and tell him its going to another baby that needs it more than him (I read this idea in a book).

Or if you know of a baby you can tell him to give it to the baby because he is no longer a baby.

Hope one of these ideas helps! Good luck!

Hi Dawn!

My daughter was extremely attached to her paci as well. I don't know if your son wants his outside of bed or not, but my daughter did. We started "weaning" by limiting her usage to when she was in bed or in the car. Then we took that down to just long trips and bed. Finally eliminated car use altogether. Once that was done we sat down and had a "talk" with her and told her that she was getting to be a big girl and didn't need to have the paci so once her last one wore out we weren't going to replace it. She sucked that last one to the bitter end but we kept reminding her and tried to make it a fun, big deal and when we did throw it away we didn't have any problems. She didn't get rid of it till she was 3 so it was a bit of a process - probably about 8-6 months in the making. My cousin also had to deal with this and she took an interesting approach. She weekly cut off a small part of the nipple on the paci until there was nothing left/her daughter couldn't suck it anymore. Her daughter gave it up without a fuss that way. Good luck!

This is probably the most expensive idea you will get but it worked. My M. wanted to buy my son a ride on power wheels. I made hime give her all his paci's as a trade for it because big boys have big toys, only babies have paci's. He only cried about it for two nights. We left them all at Grandma's and said goodbye to them there. He was almost three by the way (he had only been allowed to have it in bed after 2 years old) and tried to give the excuse of not leaving them because he loves the paci and the paci loved him. Good luck.

I've heard of having a ceremony where you tie the pacifier to baloons and let it float away to another child who needs it more.

I also have a friend who cut the tip of the pacifier off and told her child it "blew up" because the pacifier knew the child didn't need it anymore.

When I was a 3, my family moved to a new state and told me that it wasn't legal for 3 year olds to have a pacifier. They let me have it one last night and the next morning I gave it up.

Hi Dawn, this is just one of those things--it will be REALLY hard no matter what you do. Just DON'T give in--you need to go cold turkey! It will absolutely break your heart when your child begs and BEGS like HIS heart is broken for his beloved paci, but stay strong. Within a week it will be okay. you'll get through it. I thought we were going to have to take my son to rehab those first couple of days, but he finally got through it! :)

My children didn't give up their paci's until they wre close to four. They didn't use them much during the day maybe a car ride here or for an owie. They used them at bedtime and nap time. Their teeth were a little crooked then but quickly recovered after a few weeks, once we took them away. They look fine now. My son was hooked like crazy and his teeth are fine. It is way better then thumb sucking. I wouldn't worry about it if I were you. If he is sleeping well why battle it now. There are worse things then slightly crooked teeth. You could wait until he is a little older then let him help you get rid of them. The paci fairy could come and take them away and leaves a really cool toy. He can get that concept at 3-3 1/2 but not yet. Good luck with whatever decision you make but follow your heart.

Wow..I have read all your responses and they sound all good. However, the one of cutting it up, I have heard is not a good thing to give your child is a cut up pacifier. Our son was 22 months and we were expecting any day. I wanted to get rid of it before we had our second child, however that didn't work. The way we got rid of it was easy. He took it to the bath with him one day and he spit it in the tub, I grabbed it and said it went down the drain with the water. Never wanted it again, and the baby did not take one so therefore it was an easy break. I have heard of the balloon thing as well as giving it to Santa at the malls, the Easter Bunny and the tooth fairy. Sometimes when we were tired of looking for it at night we just let him cry to sleep. It does work but yes I hated hearing it too. Good luck!

I know how you feel. My youngest would not give his up, but when he turned 3 I told him beforehand that on his birthday he had to throw away his paci. And that morning he threw it in the trash. When he cried for it that night, I told him the trash man already came and took it and I did not have any more for him. He went to sleep without it. He did have to have braces- the top of his mouth was narrower than it should have been due to sucking on the paci.

Hi Dawn.

I totally feel your pain. MY daughter is addicted to the paci, and she's also 2. However, the pediatric dentist told me not to take it away from her until she was closer to 3 because she would just replace it with her fingers. I know I felt better. Then at least she'd understand that the paci fairy came and took it away and left a her a present. She just doesn't understand right now. Before the dentist visit, I tried cutting the tip off of one, and all it did was make her so upset. She still kept it up to her mouth, but now she had to hold it in. I hope this helps. Good luck with whatever you decide.

Hi Dawn,
My daughter just turned 2 and we decided to say bye bye to the paci. She too was very attached to it and would not go to sleep without it. We talked about it for about a week with her and tried a few different strategies...giving it away to a baby that needed one...having a paci party where it flies away on helium balloons...and she finally decided that she would be willing to give it to a pony at the zoo (who's name is Happy) because she really likes him. We had quite the ceremony taking it to the zoo and it was hard for her to hand it over but then we did lots of fun stuff right afterward. She cried for the first couple of nights and continues to ask for it. But she's doing fine and has managed to go to sleep without it. I'm glad it's not in the house or we might be tempted to give it back. Good luck!

Hi Dawn,
I haven't dealt with this with my daughter (yet!!), but I can tell you what my sister-in-law did. She met her daughter halfway with it -- when they're old enough to understand a little give and take, you can explain that the pacifier is only for certain times, such as sitting in the car seat or going to bed, and then really restrict it to those times. If he wants it, you can tell him he will have to go to bed or sit in the car seat to have it. I know it's not the ultimate result you want, but it's a step in the right direction and will help him find other ways to soothe himself if he can't have it whenever he wants it.

My son still used his paci by his second birthday. His pediatrician asked me if he still used one since his teeth were getting a little crooked. He told me if I took it away now his teeth would go back to normal. It's been 7 months and his teeth aren't crooked at all. I just threw all the pacifiers away, no pacifiers were hidden for a 'just in case' incident. We just threw them out. He didn't fuss at all. I think it was more my fault that the paci problem went on for so long. I thought it was soothing to him to have it but I guess I was wrong. Try this and hopefully you will have the same luck I did.

I will admit that neither of my kids had an issue with giving up the paci. Both had gotten to the point where they were biting them. I told them that if they bit a hole in it, we would throw it away for good. Amazingly, each of them, once a hole developed, handed them over for disposal and never asked for one again. BUT- other friends of mine have used the "paci's are for little babies" tactic. As a matter of fact, when my daughter was a baby, a couple of friends had there 2 year olds wrap their old pacis up in a pretty package to give to my baby (of course, we didn't actually use the used pacis- but these kids never knew that...). This way, they felt like a big kid who was helping out a little baby. After this happened the first time, I was prepared for future situations with a return gift for the "Big Kid"- just a dollar store toy, but NOT a baby item. I also had my baby "write" a thank you note to the big kids. So, maybe you have a friend with a baby who would be willing to help you out...
Good luck!

You are the one who NEEDS the " paci ". I say this from experience. I told my 4yr.old(who had a paci 24/7), that when Santa came ,we would put out cookies and milk for him to have and because you are a big girl, we would put your paci on the plate, also. If Santa knew of a baby who was poor and needed a paci, he would take it. Well, when I was at work in Sept. ,I got a call from my over excited daughter stating that Santa had come. I was confussed. She explained that her paci was gone and a poor baby needed it.My husband saw it on the floor and simply hid it. That was all and her adult teeth came in fine.

I would try explaining to him that a paci is for babies and now that he is almost 2 he is a big boy now. Tell him that the paci fairy collects the pacies for babies that need them and have him put it in a special place for her to pick up during the night (kinda like the tooth fairy). In return the paci fairy will reward him with a big boy toy. Maybe get something that could replace his paci as something that could soothe him like a blanket or stuffed animal. Set a date ahead of time and talk to him about the paci fairy. Remind him throughout the day that there are 2 days until the paci fairy comes. After she comes, remind him that the paci fairy took the pacies for the babies who needed them and he is a big boy now so he doesn't need it anymore. You may have a couple of rough bed times but he will soon adjust. Good luck!

Dawn,

I attempted to take the paci from my daughter and it was horrible.
She had been in a toddler bed for 3 months and never had gotten out and she did, and she sat by the door screaming and crying for hours despite our attempts to get her to sleep.
We gave it back to her and 3 nights of constant screaming even with the paci, we considered putting her back in a crib but she slept last night, we'll see how she does.

I think we're going to have to try the snip trick in a month, she turned 2 in July.

Hope it is easier for you cos she's very attached to the paci, more so than my son who si 13 months. But I can't let her have one and not him, he slept fine but he cries each time he sees hers so we had to give them back, bummer...

I never had probs with my teeth despite a paci so I hope its the same for her.

Dawn,
I hear your pain! Both of my boys, now 4 and 7, LOVED their "binkies." It was awful to get them to give them up! They would hold 2-3 of them and suck one too. It wasn't until they were 3-3 1/2 that they completely gave them up by telling them the binkie fairy needs to take them away to big boys. They got a favorite toy and a note from her. I would recommend having several discussions to warn him or count down the days when the fairy will come. I won't lie, it wasn't easy, but they did it and actually once they were gone, it wasn't so bad after a few days. Good luck....hang in there!
K.

I have 3 children and I didn't give them a pacifer. I got this advice from a friend. Her daughter was 2 and she would bite and chew on the pacifer. So some of them would have holes in them. One day M. cut the passifer and then kept cutting it a little each day till there wasn't anything left. Her daughter gave it up becuase it was all gone. Hope this helps some and hang in there.

It sounds like everyone has the same idea I do..lol. We took it away at 2 also. We would only give it to him at night or in the car. I was tired of looking for it, making sure we had when we went somewhere, so I was done with it before him. We let him fall asleep with it a few time at night with out it and it finally worked. Cold turkey seems to work the best. I took it aways from him in the car 1st and just dealt w/him being unhappy about it. I made sure he had toys in the car to take his mind off it. I threw them all away. He actually found one about a month ago, put it in his mouth and threw it on the floor. What was easier for me was that he is in day care all day and I never took it to school with him. So he was used to not having it at school. Start easy at 1st if you don't think he is going to adjust well. Or just cold turkey it all together and deal w/him being unhappy for awhile. It makes for long nights but well worth it in the end.

Dawn -

Boy does your story bring back memories for me of my daughter and sucking her thumb!!! She sucked her thumb and waved a blankie until she was 5 years old!!! I thought it would never end, but it did when she knew she was going to Kindergarten. We discussed with her doctor several times and he said not to worry & that it wasn't hurting her in any way. She only did it when she was tired. The dentist said the same thing -- that it was not hurting her teeth. Just wanted to share our experience. Good luck -- we rewarded her when she gave them up.

L. L.

when we took the paci away fromm our daughter, she was about two years old. we gave here stuffed animals and everything else, but we finally just broke down and took it away...we had three very long nights of bad crying...really bad. but she broke the habit. and every time she asked for one, we told here the "other little babies neede more than she did and we gave them away". you just have to be firm and hopefully have a soundproof room for a few nights...

I'm with the just taking it away and letting them cry it out that one mother mentioned. Also, take it away a lot earlier with more children you may have. Neither one of my kids had a pacifier once they hit about 9 months. Pacifiers are not intended to be used on babies once they're out of the sucking phase they are born with as newborns. They're ESPECIALLY not intended for toddlers and preschoolers. Trust me, my kids never went through any transitions that I read mothers having to have their children go through. Pacifiers, gone at 9 months, bottle-gone at 12 months (never had any crying for this one), crib-transitioned into a twin bed at 15 months (slept straight through the night with no crying from day one). It's all about timing when you're a parent. Take advantage of that, it makes it easier for the parent AND the child.

When I took my daughter's paci away, I thought it was going to be a nightmare, but it wasn't. A week before Christmas (last year) we were going to see Santa. I told her that she needed to give Santa her pacis so that he could give them to the babies, and in return he would bring her big girl presents. It worked, and she never asked for them again. She does still talk about giving them to Santa, and how they were a present for the babies... which is really cute.

Ironically, that is also the same exact day that she #1 stopped taking napes (a nap that I think she still very much needs!) and #2 started potty training.

What a good day!

Oh, and she was 2 1/2 when she gave up the paci. Before then, for about a year, she was only allowed to have it in her bed.

Hello there. I saw someone say the cutting up is not a good idea. It worked GREAT for my daughter. The Dr actually gave me the idea to do it. She was a little over 2 and I wanted her to get rid of it SO bad b/c of her teeth. She talks with a wisp (sp) a little and her teeth did not grow together to good. Anyway I cut the tip off to where she could still rub it on her face like she did and OH MY she got MAD at me when I did it lol. She said I do NOT appreciate you cutting it up lol. It was so cute how she said it and I told her the Dr said you need to get the paci bye bye. She (Avery) my daughter said I told her I would NEXT WEEK. lol Anyway She did try to suck on it BUT there was not enough on it for her to suck on it she did not cry but the one night and THEN the next day I took a little more of the tip off. By day 3 I asked her to go to the store with me and get a balloon and SHE picked it out it was a hillium Cinderella and she sent it up to the sky. It was so cute she said ENJOY your new home as it was going up. We made a big deal how she was a BIG girl now and that was it she was fine after that. She never did try her fingers and IF she does better then the paci. I saw a boy that was 5 have one in his mouth at the mall. I was like you are KIDDING ME. WAY to old if you ask me and if a child is going to have one that late do it at home not in public just did not look right lol.... Good luck and try the balloon it might do the trick. My son who is 1 HATES the paci and never did take it now he just chews on it from time to time for the teething comfort . :>)

My first thought is he might not be ready for NO paci's ! I do encourage you to be gentle :-D Like the other moms have shown, each child is different ... we first told our 2 yr old she could only have her paci when she was going to sleep, after about a month we then "couldn't find paci" ... we would look for it as a game-where are you paci? It was a pretty easy transition. With our 2nd, it wasn't as easy... especially having a 5 yr old that kept saying "don't take away her paci - I love her face with her paci!" So, the awful happened ... she started sucking her thumb - which lasted over a year! Our son was easy, like our first. Mommy still has a couple leftover pacis! I guess I couldn't give them up :-D ha !

My boys put theirs in their Christmas stocking. Santa replaced them w/a really cool stocking stuffer!! They were 2 & 3yrs.old.
Don't beat yourself up over it. Your son's only 2. Having a new baby will mean less attention for him and the binky might really help to soothe him.
My oldest was 3!! It was hard for me to take his binky from him because his baby brother had one and he'd just pop it out of his mouth and put it into his own! LOL!!
He's now 15..no braces..straight A student. It worked out ok!

I have read that ped. dentists agree that up to age 3 is ok, but that you should only use them for bed after the first 6-12 months. Hope that helps put your mind at ease:)

Don't sweat the small stuff. Let your little one have the binky, at least at naptime, in the car, and bedtime. Life is too short to worry about something like a binky. The pediatric dentist says it is okay and will not bother their teeth. Who cares what anyone else thinks?

We just took them away. They cried and fussed for 2 nights, but the third, they were fine. You just have to let them cry it out.

Hi Dawn!

My son was also very "addicted" to his "dee-dee's" - why he called it a dee dee is no one's guess....maybe your son is still too young for this -- but when my son turned 3 we told him that when you turned 3 you had to give the dee dees back to the store and exchange the lady would give him the toy of his choice but he would have to take the bag of dee dees to the store. We collected them (except for an emergency one) and took them in Toys R Us - then he picked up his toy and when we went to pay for it - it cost exactly the price of the toys plus the bag of dee dee's...the cash register lady played along really well and we never heard another request for the dee dee's as he knew we did not have them. Never had a problem. Good Luck! - A., The Avon Lady

I thought it would be horrible when we took the pacifier away from our son but it was surprisingly easy and he slept a lot better because he wasn't searching for the pacifier (and waking us up to find it) when it fell out of his mouth. We got to the point where he had chewed through all of his so I told him it was "broken" and that he had to throw it away. He didn't do this the first time I asked but he did throw it away the second time. Then he went straight to the cupboard and pointed to the container we kept them in for another one. I showed him that they were all gone. I think he asked a few times for his "ba" but I just reminded him that HE threw it away because it was broke. I'm sure someone else has mentioned this but a lot of people cut of the rubber part so there isn't anything to suck on. This might work better for you son since he likes to hold on to one.

Good Luck!

C

There are many opinions about how to do it. But this is what worked for us. We simply snipped a small amount off the end of it. When he went to suck on it, it was like it was broken. So he threw it across the room. Never had another problem. If your child still wants it 'broken' let him keep it. In a couple of days snip off more. Until it is just a nub. He will give it up or at least stop sucking on it. That way he is giving it up on HIS terms instead of someone elses.

There are other ways as well such as the paci fairy comes and takes away the basket of pacis to take to other babies. And then leaves him a special toy or something. Also a good idea but tough when he wants them back.

My daughter was only allowed her paci when she was in her room. One night, around 22 mos. old, we looked everywhere for it, and couldn't find it. She also used to sleep with two, but we couldn't find either one. She had done something with it during the day. We looked for it for awhile, and couldn't find it. Fortunately her older sister was there to tell her what a big girl she was and to encourage her to go to bed without it. We told her we would continue to look for it after she went to bed and if we found it we would bring it to her. This scenario of her asking for it every night, and us telling her we would bring it to her made the transition painless for her and us. I do think having her older sister there cheering her on really helped, but maybe you could try something similar.
R.

First, a word of encouragement about the teeth issue - - Both my pediatric dentist and my sisters (2 different dentists) assured us that teeth "moved" by pacifier use would still return to normal if they stopped using the pacifier before the palate structure started to become permanent - and this is not until 5 or 8 years old (I don't remember which one, but still much later than I thought). Also, they preferred pacifiers to thumb sucking, and cautioned us to watch that they were truly ready to give up the "soothing" need, or they could resort to their thumb/fingers. It's also interesting to note that boys have a greater NEED to have that soothing suck a pacifier/thumb provides! Anyway, I was skeptical that the teeth would not be permanently damaged, but within a few weeks after giving up the paci, my son's teeth noticeably began returning to normal (his palate had become high and the teeth pushed up and together as well).

Our trick to getting rid of the pacifier??
1. from about age 2, only used it at naps and bedtime.
2. Nearing his third birthday, we kept talking up that he would be a big boy soon and wouldn't need a pacifier. We talked about this for weeks, and he even could tell us "when I turn 3, I won't need my pacifier anymore."
3. We also suggested that he could give his paci to his baby brother (due 2 weeks after his birthday), but we weren't sure he was liking that idea.

The result? 2 weeks after his baby brother was born, he saw me giving the baby a pacifier and simply stated, "Elias needs my pacifiers now." We rounded them all up, put them in a little gift bag, and "gifted" them to baby Elias! That was it, no fighting, no crying . . . it was done. And this was from a boy who was literally addicted to the pacifier from day one!

Now, I know all kids don't respond like this, but my encouragement is to make sure your son is ready to give it up. Yes, I felt pressure from people around me, but I do not regret waiting a little longer to take it away. And no, I am not a push-over/kids rule the house type M.. This was just one battle I chose not to fight too hard!

Anyway, good luck! He will survive without the paci . . . and you will too! :)

I can relate with you on this, pacies are such a comfort to little ones. When my oldest was almost two her daddy said (not thinking she would really do it)"you don't need that pacies you are a big girl, go throw it in the trash". To our surprise she went over and threw it away proudly. Inside I was screaming what did you just do? That night she asked once about it and we reminded her that she threw it away because she was a big girl. She never said anything about it again. I know this is very uncommon, and we tried it with our second daughter who looked at us like we were crazy. With our second daughter she was two and a half before we could get her let go of it. It was when we began potty training. Months before we made her keep it in her crib during the day and only let her have it at nap and at night. This helped her to lose some dependency on it. We had many talks about how big girls who use the potty and are two do not need baby pacies. This took us quite a while of talking but not pushing her. However, what really got her to give it up was losing it at my parents house. We could not find it anywhere, so we told her that the pacie fairy must have taken to a new baby who needs it. THe idea of the fairy made her think that it was cool. My M. hurried up and found some glitter and wrote her a simple note when she wasn't looking. She said "look what I found, a note from the pacie fairy, she said a new baby who was just born needed your pacie and because you are such a big girl you didn't need it anymore, so she thought you wouldn't mind passing it on." My daughter sat and thought about it for a while, and we made a big deal about what a nice girl she was to share her pacie. She was proud that about it, but did question it when it was time to go to sleep that night. We just remined her that she doesn't need it, and that a baby needed it. She did go to sleep with her favorite blanket and soon adopted a new favorit stuffed animal for comfort. I have heard of people taking the pacie and putting it inside a "build a bear" that way they can still sleep with it even though it is not in their mouth. I have also heard of poking a hole in it so that they lose the suction and then lose interest. Every child is different, as I found out with my girls. I have a little boy who just turned one who loves his pacie. Once he was moble (crawling) I left it in his crib so he gets used to just having it at nap and night-time. Plus it is eaiser to find without panic when it is time to sleep. I am not looking forward to breaking him of it. Just remember, kids are resilient and transition better than we do ( I think I might have missed the pacie more then my children did LOL). Take your time with it and try not to frustrate yourslef too much, and remember that there are kids much much older than him walking around in public with one hanging out of their mouths. Good luck to you and your son ;)

Dawn,
First of all, don't beat yourself up with guilt over your son's tooth issue. The cause of his seemingly crooked teeth may not be related to the pacifier sucking at all. He is not really all that old, and many children have pacifier issues and don't crooked teeth from it. If he ends up with crooked teeth it could be from an entirely genetic cause. We as mothers have enough to worry about without bringing undue guilt on ourselves, so just don't do it!
About taking the pacifier away, my little niece's were terrible addicted to them, especially the youngest one. My sister nursed both babies and was a 'fashion horse' so they had 'nuk's' to match every outfit, adding to her difficulty in breaking the habit.
What she did though was very effective, she trimmed a small portion of the pacifier off each day. Using scissors, start with just a bit off the end and trim more off each day. You won't get real far and your son should notice something different and lose interest in it. Of course, don't let him see you do this, and yes, you have to do it to all of his pacifier's each day. Go ahead and try to introdce some other source of comfort into his life, he may fall for it. Reading books or watching a favorite video and using a stuffed animal from the story is sometimes a subtle way to trick them with a replacement. I know Kohl's has a line of stories and coordinating stuffed animals for $5. each. Right now I believe their promotion is the "Brown Bear, Brown Bear" series, and there are about 5 to choose from.
Good luck to you and God Bless.
~T.