Mom Not Allowed in Class by Daughter?

I was in my daughter's class one day she mentioned that she found it very stressful for me to be there - feeling as if she had to be on her best behavior. It's ridiculous to think that you daughter is "up to something"! She may be relishing the experience of being on her own and being a big girl without mom observing everything she does. My daughter didn't want me to walk her to class either. I think it's perfectly OK for a child to dictate this aspect of her school experience. Good-luck. Michele

Tania C is completely 100% correct. Do not let your daughter call the shots.... no matter what it is she is trying to control.
My sister is 13 years younger than I am and from a young age like 3... she called the shots. Decided when to get up, sleep, play, eat, etc. As she got older it got worse. Now that she is 15... it is not cute anymore and a major problem. Both of my parents are at their wits end and can't control her at all. She does and says what she wants when she wants and how she wants and no one can stop her. Its terrible!
I am very strict on my children and they know dad and mom are boss. If they ask why on something (like why can't I have ice cream I ate all my food) i say simply... i'm the mom and they know that means moms the boss.
I would talk with your daughter and find out why she doesn't want you in class. Maybe she has been teased or something but don't let her decide what you are going to do or what she is going to do.
Sorry to should harsh- hope this helps :)

Hi Eenemm,
Yes, you're right! *You* are the mama, and she is a six year old girl.

I'm not saying she doesn't have *totally* innocent motivation for not wanting you to walk her to her class, but it should NOT be a limiting factor: it's your job to be staying in communication with her teacher, learning who her friends are, and guiding her in social issues.

If you allow her to make the decisions now, you will surely have less influence in the future.

Good instincts!! Follow them :)
t

Your daughter is calling the shots a bit too much, but there is a happy medium.
My daughter didn't want me walking her to class her first day of kindergarten because she was a "big girl". I'm sure she could have handled it, but she was 4 years old. There was no way I was dropping her off to walk to class by herself. Period. No matter how big she thought she was. After a time and I knew for sure she was perfectly acclimated we made a deal. I would walk her to the end of the hall and she could walk the rest of the way by herself, but I would stay to watch her go into class. That was it. That was the deal. Take it or leave it. By 6, she already had a couple years under her belt, but I still walked her to class the first day of school to greet her new teacher. I walked all the way with her on days I needed to talk to the teacher or other parents who were arranging things and told her ahead of time...I'm walking to class with you today because we are planning a party or the book drive. It wasn't because I didn't think she could do it herself. I volunteered in the class, chaperoned field trips, helped organize parties. She had no problem with any of that and loved that I was there. But walking to class by herself was really important to her.
The crush thing? Get her to talk to you about it. Maybe she's nervous you'll know she has a crush on a boy in class and freak out. I was 6 when I had my first crush. I still to this day remember his name and exactly what he looked like. But fear not, the next year I experienced the natural progression of discovering that little boys are rough, gross and stinky. It was about the same time the boys were thinking girls were gross too.

I say let your daughter walk to class by herself on the condition that you will stand back, even down a corridor, and watch until you can be sure she is safe. It's normal for a mom to want to be sure. And, it's normal for her to think of her school as hers. They learn to stand in line, they learn how to walk down the halls, they learn where the bathrooms and the library and cafeteria are. It's a big deal to know all that stuff.
Surely, they should be able to find their own class.
Have her help you with things for her class parties so she will be glad to have you show up with it. A gift and surprise to her class from both of you.
AND, you're the mom so you will be in her class from time to time whether she likes it or not.
Take it or leave it. LOL.

Make a deal with her about it.

Volunteer if you want to. Don't worry about what your daughter thinks. She'll appreciate it when she's older.

I don't think you "need" to be present - 8 year old crushes don't mean much - the main reason for you to volunteer is to share in your child's school life, not monitor it.

maybe start out talking to her teacher. The teacher may be able to give you some insight as to why your daughter doesn't want you in her class. Remember, you are the parent and have a right to visit your daughter's class when ever you want. I wouldn't let her have her way much with this deal. Most likely if she is that concerned with you being around, she is up to something.