Mom of Two Help I Don't Know How to Make It All Work

Breathe...
A schedule doesn't have to be hard and fast.
Breakfast at 7
Get dressed
Make beds
Playtime
Lunch at 12
Nap
Snack
Playtime
Dinner at 6
Bath
Stories
Bed at 7

Modify at will....
LBC

K.,

Take a deep breath and calm yourself. :) I can assure you that you do have a schedule for your 2.5 year old, you just don't have it in writing etc. Here below, is a sample of a schedule you could have....

7am Wake up
7:30am eat breakfast
8am get dressed and brush teeth
8;30 -10am free play
10am snack
10:30-11:30am read books, do an art project, snuggle/play together
11:30-- lunch
12pm-1:30 nap

Hope this helps you a bit-- as for the baby, feed on demand and invest in a sling/wrap/front pack carrier etc. to carry baby around with you and do whatever you are doing with 2.5 year old. Make time for you to rest whenever the kiddos rest and let all of the housework etc. go---focus on bonding time with you and baby and your older child. Good luck!

M

You have to stop looking at everything as a whole and just proceed with baby steps. My son was 16.5 months when we brought our daughter home. I put him to work with small tasks and he really loved it. I think it made him feel valued to do "big brother" work and less likely to be jealous of this new arrival. Like you, I didn't really have a set schedule with him before baby #2, but as a former school teacher, I knew I needed one to juggle both of them. I even went out and purchased a daily lesson planner to plan our days! This is how it looked:
7am-give kids their first bottle and change diapers/clothes.
My son liked taking the trash to the trash can.
7:15- Make beds, put in a load of laundry. My son liked putting pillows on the beds and helping put in/take out laundry.
8am-Let kids watch a show on PBS or Nick Jr. while I showered and dressed.
8:30-breakfast ( I was usually able to clean up the kitchen during this time too)
9am-stroller ride around the neighborhood
9:45-play in the backyard (weather permitting)
10:15-play music and read stories
10:45-free play (some days we would have playdates or do activities outside the home from 10-noon, such as Gymboree, MOPS, Music class or PE 101)
11:45-lunch
12:30 I chose this time to bathe my son because he had gotten off of his afternoon nap schedule when baby sister arrived. Giving him a lukewarm bath and then a bottle of milk afterward while I fed my daughter got them both in synch to nap during the afternoon. As they both got older, we would do a lot of car rides in the afternoon to help encourage naptime!
1-3pm- naptime (during this time I could get a lot of things done around the house or I would veg on the couch or nap for awhile, depending on how my day was going.)
3pm-snack/tv show
4pm-play outside/free play/simple crafts
5pm-dinner

This schedule was flexible, but it was a nice blueprint of our day to keep things in check. I could usually keep up with bed-making, dishes and laundry on a daily basis, but left cleaning bathrooms, dusting and vacuuming for the weekends when I had help from my husband.
Good luck!
HTH,
A.

You would be surprised what you can get done in 15 minutes. www.flylady.net has been amazing in teaching me how NOT to try to tackle the big jobs all at once. I do almost all of her little 15 minute tricks and believe me, it works. You will see little improvements day by day so that before long, you are absolutely on track.

NOW....take a big breath. You are doing amazing work being home with two little ones. It is difficult to have a schedule with a 2 month old but certainly with your 2.5 year old, it is possible. Set the schedule in 15 minute increments and let loose! Good luck Mama!

With kids that little I found I could only be flexibly scheduled - which means I had goals more than absolutes. I had a goal to have the dishes cleaned up, everyone dressed, and beds made by 9ish. Start lunch by 1130 ish, clean up afterward, and nap (or quiet time) for the 2 year old after that.

Group things into the morning block or afternoon block that you want to get done. For instance in the morning get a load of laundry started and get one cleaning job done (about 15 minutes worth). The only goal is to get it done before lunch. During naps, give yourself a little break, do one thing that requires more focus (a phone call, pay bills, etc). Then in the afternoon do another 15 minute job and get everything prepped for dinner that you can. I would dice onions, get the salad made, have the veggies ready to steam in the pot - everything that I could. It really helped take the edge off dinner.

If you don't get the morning one done, well just move on and keep trucking. Don't try to catch up; then you get feeling behind and overwhelmed.

I tried FlyLady and pulled a lot from her, but I found that when I tried to follow her too much I stressed myself out - exactly the opposite of what you are supposed to do!

Awwww. First thing. Take a deep breath in through your nose and let it out slowly through your mouth. That should help you relax just a bit.

Second: Remind yourself you have a new baby! Few people have the ability to be organized during this time unless you have help, which many of us don't.

Considering this, know that it will get better. There are many things you can let go of now. Don't try to do it all. The house does not have to be as clean. Your husband can help with meals after he gets home (ask him to help you) on the nights he is home. If he is not, make meals easy. When my husband is gone I drink Meal Shakes! Can't get much easier. Let the clean laundry pile high on a chair and fold here and there when you have a spare minute. Hubby can help with that too. If possible hire a teen to watch your 2.5 year old is napping. Then consider napping yourself!

Don't make your schedule complicated. When do you have dinner? Work backwards and make breakfast and lunch 4-6 hours apart. Everything else will fall into place.

Your children are your first priority. YOu'll have plenty of time once they're older to get all the housework done. Make a list of what needs to be done and then decide what has to be done and what can wait. Write down the tasks, first priority to last.

Then write down the schedule you have with your daughter. You most likely have one even if it's flexible. Fill in the spaces with necessary tasks.

For example, tend to the baby, then throw a load of clothes in the wash to wash while you feed the toddler and yourself. Throw them in the dryer, first chance you get. When you take them out of the dryer, set them in the living room where you and the toddlers can fold clothes. I know, I know. She can't fold clothes but this can be a way to spend time with her. lol Or.....don't fold clothes. My daughter separates them in baskets without folding. Daughter's clothes in one basket. Son's and adults in another. Set them in the bedroom and you're good to go.

I suggest that at 2 mos. you just haven't developed a routine yet. You had one, tho not recognized, with the first. It takes time to manage a new situation. But once you write down in order of priority you'll be able to fit in what absolutely has to be done. Be easy on yourself. Remember, taking care of the needs of your two babies is first priority.

Taking care of yourself is second or first depending on how you look at it. You have to feed the babies. In order to keep doing that you have to have some time to yourself, have adequate rest, healthy food.

Hi hun. It sounds to me like you're feeling overwhelmed? I have 4 girls and I'll tell you that going from 1 kid to 2 was way harder than going from 3 to 4. I completely understand how you feel cause i felt the same way too and alot of people will tell you "oh just focus on the kids and dont worry about the rest" well if you're anything like me, you cant just NOT worry about the rest. I don't thik it's too late to start your 2.5 yr old on a schedule now. Kids are so smart and can usually adjust well. Does she nap? my 2.5 yr old naps from 12pm-2pm, if she does try to lay her down around the same time each day, i think that would be a good way to start your schedule. I found that it really helps when they also have a consistant nighttime routine too. my girls eat dinner at 6pm, play till about 715, then bathtime and bedtime is 730.if you can, try to do the same thing with your baby, can u imagine how nice it would be if you got them both to bed by 730 everynight??? then you could finish up your cleaning, take a shower, and RELAX ;) What i try to do is get as much as i can done during the day, when i get home at 3pm from work and picking up my 4 girls i clean kitchen 1st, then pick up living room and leave bedrooms for last, atleast if i have visitors the front of the house is cleaned,even if it means i dont get a break, but because i know that once it hits 730 i can just relax.Maybe you can fill/wash all your bottles for the next day at night , and i do laundry like this i wash whites one day, reds another, darks another and light colors another, that way its gives you time to dirty enough clothes of each color to fill a washer machine. i know it all seems like too much to cordinate, but in a couple of months you'll be a pro!! try really hard to sync your baby and your 2 yr old it will help soooo much!! HTH!!

My children are grown, but I do remember the stress! Even now, I have lots of things I try to get done...I have a tablet (the small about 5 x 7 kind) and I write down things for 2 or 3 days. If I get them done, I cross them off...if I don't, I move it to the next day! Obviously the things that get moved to the next day can't be feeding the baby or making dinner, but there are things that can be flexible. I like the general schedule and suggestions Angie made...it WILL all work out if you relax and don't stress yourself out!

I've never been strictly scheduled and I manage a lot. You just have to take it one step at a time. Never sit more than 15 minutes, with or without baby. Start there. Baby can eat and burp in 15 minutes. Baby needs to know how to be alone too. Alternate all day long. 15 minutes with baby, 15 minutes cleaning house, 15 minutes sit and relax and invite toddler over to sit with you. 15 minutes get the toddler a snack or a bath or diaper change or whatever needed. That's an hour. Every hour is divided. If you don't have a DVR, get one. Tape your shows so that they can be paused. But at the same time, tv is a huge waste of time for grown ups. I absolutely don't believe that for the kids. I watch the shows today with my daycare kids and they are cranking out some great shows with lots to learn.

Not to upset things too much by enforcing a strong regime begin by having set meal times and bed times. This will make a great difference in your lives. Just knowing that breakfast is 7:30 am and lunch at noon and dinner at 5PM for instance sets a schedule in your lives. If your daughter will go to sleep by 7:30 pm you will get a bit of breathing room. She will need to be read to or sung with so she has a special time with you before sleeping.
If you can stick to meal times the rest of your day will fall into place.
This is for you and your daughter. The baby will not fit into the schedule since his will change over the next several months quite frequently.

For the first 6 months you are in parenting survival mode. You are up all day with your daughter and having interrupted sleep all night with your son. Don't be hard on yourself. As long as everyone is wearing clean clothes, fed, and the house is not being condemed by the health department you are fine. Trying to set a schedule at this point will only add to your stress. Just get a white board and write a couple things you want to get done for the day. They can be things like clean the kitchen counters or do a load of laundry. Nothing hard but when you finish something cross it off. It'll give you a sense of accomplishment.