Mom Seeking Advice from Other Moms

I don't know much about potty training (my son is only 10 months old and not yet ready) I do however have some advice on the sibling thing. I think it would be a great idea to get him a baby doll. Little boys love to do what thier moms do just as much as little girls. You can even get a boy gender doll if you are uncomfortable with the notion of a baby doll (Im not saying you are but some parents don't like the idea). You can help him to learn how to be a big brother and at the same time you are teaching him skills that will help him become a great father. Just let him do with the baby doll what you would do with the real baby. You can start now so that when his brother comes he will be ready.

Hi, my name is C.. I have two little girls, 5&3. When I was pregnant with my 2nd child I just told the 1st one that she has a little sister on the way, I said you will be her big sister, she loved hearing that. She asked me if she could help me feed her and hold her, when I said yes she litup with joy. Now with the potty, have you offered him something special? That worked for me (like lolly pops). good luck, C.

When I had my 3rd child...my oldest are twins and they are 10 years apart..but anyway, there was a class at the hospital for siblings. That really helped my older girls. Also, involve him in everything you do with the new baby but make sure you still give him his own time!
Regarding the diaper issue....try big boy underpants with him.

Hi S. my name is Dane and i have 4 boys 13,4,2,and 1 so as you can guess i have alot of experience in this at least i think so if you dont mind can i ask you a question do you let your son go with you and your husband to the bathroom if you do it will help for him to see what you need to do in there and it might help for him to chatch on the other thing is but a small radio in there and while your in there sing silly songs or even take a book in there and read to him it might get him relaxed enough to go in the potty because it will focus his thoughts elsewhere and get him involved in your having a new baby let him pick out a spical toy for the new baby let him talk to your belly and rub it and even have him lay his head on your belly and listen for the sounds of the baby moving and if you have a name picked out for the baby use it when you talk to him about having a baby make it fun and talk to him like he is going to be a big help let him help in this because if he does youll be suprised the baby will end up being his and not your (hahaha) thats what my four year old said when my two year old was born well thats all i have for now good luck with the boys and if you have any other questions please ask

S., have you tried giving him a little alone time? My son plays and talks when I'm in there with him but if I step away, he does his business. We use a potty ring on the toilet so that he can't hop off by himself (and less clean up). Also a verbal cue has worked well for us. When we started, when he would go on the potty I would hum. Now if we hum he goes - and hums too. Like others have said here, each child will learn this at his/her own pace. We started with infant potty learning at 7 mos. yet my son still has potty strikes every now and then. Do a search for elimination communication and you should find some great resources.

you sound a lot like me. except that now my son is three and my daughter is 10 months! i know that it is important to you that your son be potty trained before the new baby's arrival. no one wants 2 kids in diapers. The key to potty training is to wait it out. make the potty fun. I used to put the potty in the living room and let him sit on it while he watched cartoons. Then when he finally did it we rewarded him all day! we made it such a big deal that when he had finally done it that he wanted to do it all the time. within weeks of the first time doing of doing it he was doing it all the time! and he was very proud of himself!!!
as for getting him ready for the new baby, let him know that his opinion matters and ask foor his help. When you go shopping, let him pick out some stuff for the baby and when the baby gets here let him give him to his baby brother. also buy him some stuff so that he doesn't feel left out. and make sure when the baby gets here that you let him be part of the excitement! let him hold him (with your help of course) and tell him that he is a great big brother!!! i gave my son the job of throwing the diapers away and that made him feel important because that was his special job!

When I had my daughter, my son was 16 months old. I decided that I did not want two children in diapers, so I devised a reward plan to potty train my son. I bought stickers from different stores and cut them apart so that I had individual stickers. I then made a grid on a construction sheet of paper so that I had just squares (but they had to be big enough to place a sticker in the square). I taped the grid on the wall in front of the toilet so that he could see his success at any time. I explained to him that when he went #1 he would be able to choose one sticker from the box and place it on the grid. When he went #2 he would be able to choose two stickers from the box and place them in two squares on the grid. When he filled up the entire paper with stickers I would take him to the toy shop and buy him one toy of his choice, whether big or small. He was potty trained within two to three months. Since it worked so well for my son, I also used it for my daughter and, again, it worked within a couple of months. No fighting. He actually wanted to use the bathroom toilet in order to win his sticker.

Don't worry about the baby issue it won't be so bad for him. My Children are 17 months apart, I got my daughter a Cababge Patch Doll to get her ready for her Brother, but at the time she didn't even care to hold it that often. What did work is showing her pictures of other babies and telling her to talk to my Belly and give it kisses. That way she got excited. I would also talk to her about the new baby. And when we went shopping I would show her things that we need for the new baby. At this age it might seem weird to them at first, like who is this thing that makes so nuch noise but they will get used to it right away. You will still have to do all the same things with the first kids that you do with the second. And soon enough they will be big enough to bathe together and do everything together. Your son wont remember being an only child, for the rest of his life he will be known as a big brother. make him proud of that (they sell T-Shirts at BabiesRus)Everything will be fine

G.

What to Expect the toddler years has some really good points on toliet training. I recommend the book. Also try getting the book and video Once upon A Potty for Boys. It comes with a Potty Buddy in some cases. FOr my daughter a "buddy" works well. She brings bunny in with her and bunny
"goes" too. My daughter needs to alternate between her little potty and the big toilet. This seems to work well for her. And as some experts say, 19 months could still be a little young. Don't stress and don't let him see you stress. He'll be fine. Congrats on the new baby. Are there any local mom's groups or playgroups in your area? That's a great way for your baby to be around babies of all ages. Not sure where you live but try Babyzone.com or craigslist.org or http://mommyandme.com/ Often churches have playgroups (and you don't have to go that church). Libraries have storytimes and lots of community colleges have programs that child development students run. Chek your local hospital for mom's group and support groups. It's out there, you just need to find it ;-)

I don't have a lot of advice on potty training except that it takes time and patience and your son is still very young. Most girls are potty trained by 2-2 1/2 and boys normally aren't until 3yrs old. Just keep devoting your time to training him and never get upset with him just reinforce. Put him on the potty every 30 min., read books about it or get movies, Dr Phil suggested a potty training doll even for boys and have him trian the doll first etc. As for helping him adjust to a new baby, I am dealing with this same issue since I am due in Dec. A friend of mine and some websites offered some great advice. Have your son pick out a present for the baby or the going home outfit, have the baby give him a present at the hospital, let him come in to see the baby alone so you are making him feel important and get some quality time with his new brother/sister, reinforce to family members to not make too much of a deal over the baby i.e. instead of rushing in to hold the baby and constantly talking about him/her see if they can’t address your son first and ask him how he likes having a new brother/sister etc. At home you can make him apart of everything from helping to get diapers to bottle feeding. My friend went to the dollar store and bought some toys for her daughter that she hid. When someone came over to see the baby and brought a present for the baby but not her daughter then she would pull out one of those presents and say the person bought it for her. If family members are constantly talking about the baby then change the subject slightly to include something else or soemthing about your son. If you plan on nursing the baby a friend of mine created a nursing box for her child. It was a special box she took out only while she nursed and it had diff. toys in it so the child could play with toys he doesn't have all of the time while you nurse your baby. The best advice I got was to keep your child involved with everything and break out some quality time for just the two of you where daddy is watching the baby or the baby is sleeping. If you make him feel just as important I think he will adjust great or at least I am hoping with my daughter (they will be 19 mths apart). Good luck and congratulations!

You have to remember the only control your child has right now is when and where he uses the bathroom :) you tell him what to eat, when it's bed time and so on. But you can't tell him or make him go to the bathroom. It can be very frustrating. However just stay strong and don't give up. What I found to work with my three girls was using 5 ply undies, they used to sell them at target and they had plastic sewed over them. Which was awesome for bed times and leaving the house. Also we used gummy bears and M&M's for rewards but only if they used the potty. GOOD LUCK :o)

I was 22 when I had my first son, and I got pregnant with my second son 3 months after my first was born, so my 1st one was not older than 11 months when my second son was born. I think it was more of an ajustment for me than my first born. I felt like I was taking time away from my 1st born. I adjusted by having my oldest take part in as much as he could when it came to the baby. I'd tell him that this was his baby and he was the big brother and mommy needed his help. When he could I'd let him help get pampers or sit next to me close when feeding the baby, or hold the bottle, I'd let him hold the baby while sitting with me, and I'd encourge him showing affetion to the baby, but most of all I'd say to you not to forget to spent quality time with your oldest too, because in a sence he is sill a baby too. Sounds rough Huh? It's do-able, and am a divorced, we separtated when my kids wee 1 and 2, and it was hard. I did it going to school full-time and working full-time. Finding balance and routine is he key. About the pamper thing, try reward system. If you know he like something, tell him he can have it if he make stinky ot pee-pee in the potty or get one of the potty seats that go on the toliet, and have him use the big toliet and tell him what a big boy he his "PRAISE", is the key. Make it a big deal, that he did his business on the potty.

Hi S...
I have two girls, My 3yr old was potty trained at 18 months and my 2yr old is just now "allowed" to go out with no diaper for a short trip of course. I moved the little potty out into the family/living room so that it would be close to them most of the time and in a not so sacry place, like the bathroom. (its a small room and the toilet makes a loud noise, to most it's scary)Once they see that they CAN do it, it becomes more interesting. when my youngest wastaking her diaper off after every pee, I knew it was time to introduce the potty. Yes, every child is different and will do it when they are ready. Patience is deff. key. I hope you find what works for both of you.

Potty training is an individual accomplishment. Every child does it at their own pace. Just be patient. It doesn't hurt to use some of the other suggestions by others either, but it will still happen when he is ready. As for the new baby coming, include your son as much as possible in the planning of it. Make him it aware it is his baby too. Since they are so close in age they could become best friends if you let him participate now. Sibling rivalry is going to happen regardless, but the impact can be minor if you start that bonding now. Get him a doll (I don't care if he is a boy!) and let him practice "helping."

What I would do with my boy when i was potty training him is i would pour some warm water on his "thingy" and he would pee, that worked for me. It's worth a try lol

My son is 2 and when he was about 19 months I went to the library and checked out "Once Upon a Potty" it helped, he watched it for a week. I took off his diapers during the day and he would pee on himself and didn't like it so he started running to the potty. Offering rewards for using the potty also helped. And reading potty books to him. The library also has books on being a big brother, you should try it if you havent already.

Dont get discouraged b/c 19 months is early to start potty training. It took me 1 week to pottytrain my son b/c i had a "potty jar". I kept a jar in the bathroom filled w/cheap toys, candy, & other goodies....everytime he went to the potty w/out an accident hed get to pick something out of the jar. He loved it & it was so easy. I also told him if he went to the potty w/out accident for 1 week that we'd go to the movies as a treat for his good work. It was soooo easy & he loved being rewarded.

I am a proud mother of 3 boys. My advice to you is if he is showing signs of not wanting to go in his diaper, leave him naked and sit him on a training potty in front of his favorite tv show or game and have him stay there until he does go and if he succeeds in going on the potty make a big deal out of it and he will want to go on the potty.

As for getting him ready for a baby. Something I tried and it sounds silly, but it worked. Get a baby doll and dress it in a baby outfit, swaddle it and treat it like the baby for a couple of days and see how he does. Involve him as much as possible so that he doesn't feel left out.

Good luck.

S.
Mommy of 3 boys