Montessori or "Traditional" Pre-school?

Updated on September 28, 2009
S.F. asks from Englewood, CO
9 answers

I need advice from all you elementary ed teachers out there and from Mamas with kids 3+ years old, especially if your kids are in first or second grade. My son just turned 2 1/2 and, now that he's eligible age-wise, has been attending Montessori at the Marina in the Greenwood Village area for a month now. He goes to Montessori 3 days a week and his old school, Goddard, 2 days a week. Our plan was to do this for a month and see which school, teachers, kids, he seemed to like better. But it's really not clear after a month and we don't know which school to choose (going part time at 2 schools costs $1350/month whereas full time at one school is $900/month). Note: We’ve been told by several teacher friends that our son is “quite advanced”. We want him to always be challenged but still happy-go-lucky like a young child should be.
GODDARD – Typical day care setting, more time for fun, our son has good friends there, 8:1 student-teacher ratio, all kids in class 2.5 years old, learning limited to what toys the school considers appropriate for his age, five minutes closer.
From what I've been able to observe, our son seems a little bit happier at Goddard, but he's been there part time since January so that's not completely fair to the Montessori school. When we take him to Goddard, he runs to his friends and immediately dives into whatever they're doing at the time. He was having some aggression issues about six weeks ago so I decided to try the more challenging Montessori environment, thinking maybe he was bored and that's why he was hitting other kids. But the aggression issues have passed, thanks to the very patient and hard work of his Goddard teachers. This morning I took the time to observe the next three class levels that our son would be in at Goddard if he stayed there. The kids seemed to be having fun and liked the teachers. The environments were laid back and happy.
MONTESSORI – Teaches independent educating, 10:1 student-teacher ratio, kids in class ages 2.5-6, great extracurriculars, no limitations on what he could learn and when, slightly less expensive.
At first I was really impressed with the self-teaching, unlimited growth concept of the Montessori method. They also have extracurricular activities like bi-weekly Spanish classes, Kung Fu, art class, and gymnastics. Our son loves all these things (except the Spanish). One of the biggest selling points for me is that, according to their literature, children learn to self-teach and love learning at a more appropriate cognitive age than when they are in first or second grade (I guess it’s harder for the brain to self-teach by then). So I was really excited about this new school for my son.
The first few days I took our son to Montessori school he was really excited and wanted to check out all the new "toys". But, sadly, some of the older boys in the class told him he wasn't allowed to play with those things because he "hadn't had a lesson yet" and he quickly withdrew. When I observed this, I said something to the teacher and she corrected the older boys. But I think it was too late by that point. He was already discouraged. Now when we take him to Montessori he is quiet, withdrawn, and sits in a corner. (My husband says it’s killing him. Me too.) I think our son is afraid to touch anything and the 5 year-olds intimidate him. The Montessori teachers assure me he is well-behaved there and "works" (that's what Montessori schools call playing with toys) well when I’m not there. When we pick him up at the end of the day, he is usually playing with the older boys (I know, I'm confused by it too), is smiling, and having a ball. It’s completely the opposite of how he acts when we drop him off in the mornings. The teachers are very caring and bright…but I guess I’m just not sold on the subdued environment of the Montessori classroom where the kids all “work” quietly alone most of the time. (It seems to me that kids this age should be playing, not working. There’s plenty of time in life to work. But I digress.) On the one hand, our son could progress in skill level at his own pace (unlike at Goddard), which would be great for his self-esteem and education. On the other hand, there seems to be much less playtime and socialization with other kids, which is what makes him the happiest.
Since my husband and I both have master’s degrees and are very bright ourselves, I wonder if it makes more sense for our son to stay at Goddard where he can play, have fun, and continue building friendships. It’s easy enough for us to add the intellectual challenge at home. But would I be making a big mistake for our son’s academic career? Or should we just wait until he is a little older and hope there is still space at the Montessori school?

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D.M.

answers from Denver on

Lots of good points. I have a 2 1/2 year old little girl and have been starting to think and research some similar choices when she goes to kindergarten. She's currently at a Primrose (which I love).

My two cents - keep him where he is Goddard is a great place, and he seems happy and is learning and thriving. Don't make the change until Kindergarten or 1st grade. Montessori can be good - depending on the school and the child - all about fit. My concern (before I read far enough) is that at 2.5 it's too young to be expected to interact with all ages. I think the more focused and fun approach of Goddard is the way to go.

1 mom found this helpful
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K.M.

answers from Denver on

Hi S., before I say anything I want to let you know that I am ALL about education and academics. I've struggled with alot of the same issues you are talking about. But my thought is that you are way over-thinking this issue. Your son is happier in Goddard. He will be just fine and will not be any better prepared academically by going to Montessori! I had my now 2.5 year old son in Montessori at Fiddler's Green for a year - from 1-2. I loved it, he loved it, but we couldn't afford to send 2 kids there when I had number 2. Both now go to Children's Choice and he's learning a ton! One big thing that I like about Children's Choice is they actually provide a bit of discipline. We had some problems at Montessori (owned by the same company as the one you go to) with a couple of kids with obvious aggression and emotional issues and they wouldn't remove this child from their care. Nor could they stop him from literally attacking other kids. I digress, but my point is that I think you should put your son where he's happy. He'll be just fine academically no matter what choice you make!

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E.T.

answers from Denver on

Choose the place where your son is happiest. At 2 1/2, I would put his emotional needs ahead of his academic career. Your son sounds like a bright, curious little boy -- he's going to do just fine in school when the time comes, even if you keep him where he is.

I understand that there is a push to have children more academically advanced than we were at a younger age. But I can't honestly say that I agree with it in my heart -- and studies are showing that early performing does not always correlate directly to later success.

From my own experience, I know that the "right" pre-school doesn't make a significant difference in life. I didn't go to pre-school at all, and grew up in a large family with a SAH mom who didn't have a lot of formal education and who was too busy to "work" with us much. (My dad was a workaholic who was never home.) But what I did have was a mom who shared her deep love of reading, and her innate intelligence and curiosity, with her children. Not having a pre-school education didn't keep me from getting scholarships to a very competitive college or finishing graduate school. My own son is 2 1/2, and in a wonderful in-home daycare -- and he's very high-functioning for his age.

Your son will only have so long before world is making demands on him that he cannot avoid -- so I would choose the place where he can enjoy his childhood the most.

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J.K.

answers from Denver on

After reading your post, it seems that you already know that Goddard is a better fit for your son.

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J.L.

answers from Denver on

My 2 cents. My 2 girls are now in a Montessori environment and my oldest who is 5 has been in this since she was 7 months old. I believe they get the "social aspect" of learning as well as "work" with more practical life skills at this age. Which is great. Its difficult to observe what is better for your child because they always are different in a school environment when Mommy is not around. My 3 year old is doing fantastic with her new situation. She is in a classroom with 3, 4 and 5 year olds. Granted she is in the same classroom as her sister but I have not heard or witnessed any 5 year old "bullying" and she interacts with all her classmates well. Again, all environments are different with different children and different teachers so I guess go with your gut. I just wanted you to get a Montessori Mom's birdseye view.
P.S. I have learned that Montessori is best up to 5 then it can be a bit chaotic, which I don't believe is a good learning environment.
My girls go to a dual language Public school in Denver and after Kinder they are in a more traditional learning environment with English and Spanish teaching...

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J.H.

answers from Denver on

Both of my kids are also very bright, have been tested gifted, and I have done both schools. It totally depends on the kid. My daughter, who is now in second grade, went to a regular preschool, she is very social, and did well there. She is in advanced classes at school, and has been happy. We did a lot at home for her, with extra reading and math

My son, who is now in kindergarten, and 5 years old, went to Montessouri. For him, it was the best choice. He needed the advanced teaching montessouri could give him. At that type of school, the teachers will go as far as he wants to go, in reading and math. When he left preschool, he was reading at 1st grade level, and starting to do mulitplication tables. This never would have happened in a group setting regular preschool, because the teachers just do not have time to give the one on one attention, that they do in montessouri. He went to Columbine Montessouri, in Southwest Littleton. He also made tons of friends there, and got to play quite a bit.

My son knew all of his letters by the time he was 18 months old, and could write them by 2 1/2. If your son is similar, then I think that montessouri could give him all he needs. He will make friends wherever he goes.

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O.L.

answers from Denver on

I say keep him where he's happy. Really, if you and your husband are saying the Montessori place is killing him, is there any debate?

It seems the trend right now is a huge emphasis on the academic advancement of our children...infant reading programs, the race to have your kids know the alphabet...what about social skills? I've kept my son (who is just a bit after the cut-off) in preschool this year instead of pushing for Kindergarten just because of social skills. I am certain that we can provide any extra academic stimulation he needs at home. What we can't do is help him learn how to interact successfully with other children his age.

You might be encouraged to know that my son is 4 1/2 and is doing great with self-teaching and he definitely loves learning. If your son is in an environment where he's happy, he'll be curious and interested. If he's unhappy he'll just shut down.

One last thought, I know of two adults whose intelligence was 'accomodated' in school--unfortunately, the additional academic stimulation came at the expense of learning to interact with other students. To this day, they both have problems with communication and interacting with other people. Food for thought.

Okay, that's my .02. :) Best of luck in your decision!

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M.H.

answers from Denver on

I want to start by saying I don't have a child old enough to be making this decision yet, but I have already begun to research it. It's not fair at all to say your child is happier at Goddard so keep him there. He knows those kids better, and has been exposed to it a lot longer, so that would be the only reason I could definitively point to as to why he would be happier there. That said... the atmosphere at the different places is very different. There may be days when he prefers one over the other based on mood or whatever. I can't say what is better - I understand your request to have teachers chime in - is there a difference at the second grade level?

You don't want to over-do the education thing... but you also want your child stimulated, and it's a tough call. I don't know if there is any way to know what is best. Just as intelligence is critically important, and thinking skills, without social skills your child can wander through life a bit lost. Obviously there are degrees of proficiency both educationally as well as socially, and I hate to say that early on, it is more about your needs than theirs. It's very hard to tell what their needs are at this stage.
Good luck with your decision.

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K.K.

answers from Denver on

Listen to your gut. From your writings, it sounds as if you're leaning towards Goddard. It is a great school. The Montessori approach is great too, but it sounds as if your son is more comfortable at Goddard. And a comfortable learning environment is a critical first step necessary for academic and social development. At this age, play and imaginative games are at least equally important as preliminary academic concepts. If he feels more comfortable playing and exploring at Goddard, why not keep him there?

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