Moral Support for Getting Rid of Stuff

I hear ya!! Im cleaning out stuff too. A few years ago I came across the tools my dad used for concrete work (hes still alive but not doing this type of work) and put them on Craigslist for really cheap. I wanted a person who would really need and use them to call, and free items get taken by people who want to sell and make their own money. A guy called and said he could use them. I met him at a store parkinglot and when he drove up in a small pick up truck, with concrete tools in the back, I knew he was telling the truth. I gave them to him free and got the biggest hug you can imagine! Made us both feel great! So, think about that. And go back and toss something else out of that shed.

ok here's my rule IF it stinks you have to toss it.

I know you can do this and you are going to be so happy to have this job done!! Daddy would be proud of you!

:-) Once I got over the initial shock of decluttering, I totally got into it and never looked back. Clothes and shoes too small, they go to someone who needs them and can wear them TODAY. Duplicate tools? I give them to Goodwill or someone who can either use them or resell them. I don't have to have a storage unit, shed, or even extra closet.

I am not into stuff. However, a VERY CHOSEN FEW THINGS OF IMPORTANCE, VERY few, make the cut.

You keep going back to your Dad's tools.

And I wonder whether you might shadowbox them, or go buy a cool shelf, I mean to display them, where you'll see them, might be kinda cool, a collection displayed. One more thing to dust, sure, but they're YOUR DAD'S TOOLS after all.

Everything else GOES.

:)

Hi,
I don't know if this would help or not, but is there a way to take an artsy (maybe black and white) series of photos of the tools? Then frame them, hang them in a place of honor in your house, or put them in a scrapbook of memories of your dad, and part with the actual tools. It will serve to remind you of your dad's livelihood and will do the tools and your father's memory justice (where having them rot away in the shed, not so much).

Another thought is, are they still useful at all? Could a student in a design or architecture class use them? That might be a way to give them new life and move them along in a way you could feel good about.

Good luck. It's hard to part with the things our loved ones have left us. My husband still has all his dad's hand tools (but he uses them for carpentry from time to time).

For drafting tools? I would sell them on ebay or craigslist...or have a yard sale - don't let good tools go to waste....

I'm sorry this will hurt - piece by piece - but realize you are NOT throwing your dad out - you STILL have him in your memories and in your heart....

Know that your dad doesn't want you to have the clutter in your life...he meant more to you than that. All this is IS STUFF...just STUFF YOU already have the important stuff....

God will guide you ... trust me...it will be okay...yes, it will hurt...yeah, they'll be some tears as you pick up something and think of something your dad did - but it's OKAY....relish it...cherish it...you got it girl...

Your dad doesn't live on in the stuff he used, but in the memories he made with you. Take some pictures of his things & then get rid of them.

My mom collected pigs - pig statues, pig cookie jars, pig salt and pepper shakers, pig envelope holders, pig canister, pig coffee cups - you get the point. She passed away when I was 16. I'm now 31 and ready to get rid of most of it. We we're trying to sell our house so the boxes are actually in storage right now, but we only have the storage place thru August. So when the "pig boxes" come back I will sort them and keep one small box and the rest goes bye-bye!!! Not sure what I'm going to do with them, maybe place an ad on Craigslist and try to find another pig collector??? I don't want/need money for any of this stuff, I just don't "need" it anymore - except for the cookie jar and a couple of things that I remeber she/we had when I was really young..........Good Luck. Maybe just pick one tool to keep? and donate the rest.

**any pig collectors out there :)

I used to hold onto every sentimental thing that was ever given to me. Over the years though I have gotten tough and am much better at getting rid of things that no longer serve a purpose in my home whether it's a practical and functional purpose or a sentimental purpose.
I have three things that were my dad's (he died when I was 11) or something my dad gave me before he died. One is a cookie jar that is now without a lid. I gave it to my dad for Father's day when I was 9. I keep it because I remember clearly going to the store with my sister to pick it out and I was so excited to be able to get daddy something with my own money.
The second thing is a canopy bed frame. I keep it (currently in our shed) because he sacrificed a lot in order to buy me that bed. It's not even solid wood and it's banged up but even at 10 years old I knew the things he wasn't able to buy because he bought me that bed. It is my plan to turn it into a daybed once my kids are all moved out. The third thing is a teddy bear with one eye and no nose and is ragged and dirty but it is the last thing my daddy gave to me before he died and makes me smile whenever I look at it.
So things like these are worth keeping. If there isn't a story behind it or doesn't make you smile then yes, it's okay to get rid of it.
May I make a suggestion? If the tools and anything else you find can be cleaned up and are still usable then consider giving them to a group who is having a fundraising yard sale. In my neighborhood there are a lot of groups (whether they're raising money for Relay For Life or some other cause) It's a double good type of thing-you are giving something that will benefit twofold once to the fundraiser and again to the new owner of the items.

Anyhow sorry for the long spiel but you can get through this stuff and in the end you will feel better. Good luck!

Hi Rosebud!

I clean out ruthlessly on a regular basis. It feels like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders when I get rid of things that I don't need or want anymore. It makes keeping my home in order so much easier.
But when it comes to your dad's drafting tools, listen to your heart and don't be too hard on yourself. My Mom passed away when I was 6. I'm now 34 and I am finally able to let go of **some** of her things that I have been carrying with me from place to place throughout my life.

If there is no one in the family that can use the drafting tools nor wants them for decorating purposes, your dad would probably rather you gave them to someone that would use them. If that means donating them to Goodwill so someone can get them, so be it.

Ya know...if they're in reasonable condition, you could donate those drafting tools to maybe one of the colleges or tech schools that offer drafting or maybe one of the high schools. Our high school offered drafting as an optional class so before throwing them away, give them a reasonable look over & clean them up some if they're still in useable condition, try donating them to a school first. At least they'd be getting some use & someone else can enjoy using them too. Good luck!

I'm the queen of keeping everything from my grandparents...well, the ex queen, I have gotten so much better practically my whole house is downsized and 3/4 of the garage! Here is the secret...don't think you have to do the ENTIRE shed in one sitting...its overwhelming and won't get done. Just think...I'm going to clean up everything off the floor. Then next time think....I'm going to clean everything off the shelve on the right side...etc, you get the picture. And if there are things like tools that you really won't use yourself but you are having a hard time letting go of it, take a picture of it, print it off and keep in a little album that you have of just those special things. That really helps. I know its hard. Many of us have been thru it. Baby steps! Good luck!!!

I didn't read any of the other reply's so sorry if I'm repeating.
If someone else hasn't said it already (though I'm sure they have), check out Flylady.net. She's all about decluttering and taking baby steps.

But the thing I really made me want to reply was your dads old drafting tools. If you or your children do not have an interesting in drafting, there is no reason to keep them. But don't just throw them away. Donate them to your local high school, if they have a drafting class. It will really honor your father to help another learn his craft.

Good luck with the decluttering!

I'm the Queen of Getting Rid of Stuff, and yes, it is like a weight falls off your shoulders when all that clutter is gone. I clean out everything yearly, just about, as I believe in traveling light. We often find very useful things, or fun toys, that weren't being used because there was just too much stuff around. It's amazing how it accumulates over a year!
That said, please be aware that once something is gone, it's gone. You can't go back and get it. I've learned that if I have that twinge of sorrow when I look at something because it brings back memories, I should wait. I've gotten rid of some things I regret now, and there's nothing I can do about it. On the other hand, it IS just stuff, so don't get swamped in the sentimental mire.
You might want to clean out everything else from the shed first, and then see if you can find a place or use for your dad's tools. Maybe you could create a shabby chic decoration of some sort, which you would always treasure.

Yes, you can do this. You havent needed his things to keep your memories of him intact. They have been hidden away for a decade. Think of your donation as a way to help them become useful again and valuable in the life of another person. That's a much better way to honor your father's memory than allowing his things to rot away.

Donate them. You will create room in your life (and your shed) for wonderful things to come.

Make piles of useable stuff and list it on FreeCycle.com. You go to the website and find your town and make an account. I have gotten rid of so much stuff! You have to give it for free, but thankful people will get a lot of use out of your old stuff.

Decluttering feels so good! I understand the sentiment though. I have tons of one of my grandma's things, but only 2 from my other grandma. I realized the 2 things I have are special and precious to me, but that I have to go through my other grandma's things because it is just too much. I have gone through some to donate and a few things to sell. There are some more sentimental items that I am deciding on. Getting rid of these things is not getting rid of grandma! I am taking some of her ornaments and making a wreath for my mom. I am keeping some doilies and linens that will make me think of her when I use them. Maybe you could take one of your dad's tools and clean it up and mount it in a glass covered shadow box. That way you have one special representation of him that will last and last, but the clutter will be gone.

I still have the old circa 1930's adding machine my grandpa used to use in his gas station in Southern Texas. It hasn't worked in years, but it reminds me of both the strength and integrity of my family (my grandpa was 1st generation in this country) and of the benefit and pride in hard work. Fittingly, I keep it in my office. Choose one thing of your father's and put it in the place where you work.

I was going to recommend taking photos as well. Shutterfly.com has beautiful photo books you can make with the photos to help preserve your memories!

Hmm... Im not going to be much help here. I have 2 of my paternal grandmothers bird houses ( she collected those) hanging on my wall. I have one of her crystal butterflies hung in my window ( she also collected those) I have a hidious Kenny Rogers clock of hers also on a wall. ( its large and yeah hidious, lol). I have her bell collection ( not a small one) she gave me for my 16th birthday also on a wall. I have two of her coca~cola shirts hanging in my closet. Pretty much one room is "dedicated" to her.

I have my paternal grandpa's gas tank figurine.
I have my maternal grandma's dolls she made me from when I was younger, a couple of the dresses she made me from a child and few of her fingurines that she collected.

So I say if you want to keep something that belonged to your dad even if its never going to be used, put it in some kind of shadow box or find a way to use it as a decoration in your home. Or keep it put into a box/ tote as long as its not taking up room you need and pull it out every once in a while to look at it and remember him by. Not that you need materialist things to remember him by, but for me its comforting to look up at it. Always brings a smile to my face even on the worst days. Good luck on your choice

Somebody may absolutely LOVE your dad's drafting tools! And wouldn't it make him happy to know his tools were in the home of someone who loved them? I hope so.

You aren't throwing a piece of him away. That doesn't make sense. You're giving someone else a chance to enjoy what he enjoyed.

You will want to keep some things. Keep what you love, what gives you a happy feeling. (Don't have happy feelings about too much!)

Good for you. I am doing the same thing. We just moved into a home that has less storage space than our previous place. Our neighbor told me that she just rents out a storage unit, but I am just going through all our stuff and trying to create a fresh start. It feels good.

Last night I was going through a giant trunk of baby clothes. We are done having babies (and have been "fixed") and have gotten rid of all the baby stuff except a bunch of clothes which are in great shape. I have held onto them because of the memories and I guess because I have had this fantasy of lovingly handing them on to my grandchildren. Anyway, my husband walked in and was like, "We are NOT keeping that gigantic trunk around here for the next 20 years just so you can reminisce about when the kids were babies!" For some reason, just having him say that CLICKED. I went through the trunk again and kept their blessing outfits and the few outfits that were extremely special. It amounted to a small boxes worth. The rest will be sold at our yard sale. I also went through my old art projects from high school. Many of them are poster-sized paintings, and honestly, I would never hang them up, they are not great. My best ones are framed. Anyway, I took photos of them and am getting rid of them. It feels so good to LET GO of all the clutter. For me, my mid functions best when the space around me is clean and organized.

Good luck!!!

Take a picture of the tools as they are.
Then donate to Goodwill.

You can do this!

Hope you had a successful day of decluttering! Go to flylady.net for the world's biggest de-cluttering cheerleaders!

3 bags or boxes: Put Away, Give Away, Throw Away

Give away can be so awesome - when you have something that's usable that you don't use, want or love, bless someone else with those items. Let go, let go, let you - you will still have your memories of your dad, and someone else may be able to use those items. It does no honor to his memory to have a bunch of old stuff sitting unused in a space that you could use.

Work 15 minutes at a time, don't take out more than you can put back, and you will get that shed emptied out and usable in no time.

You CAN do it! If you have anyone in the family who would want them and have the room to hold on to his drafting tools ask if they would like them, otherwise if they are still usable donate them so someone else can be blessed with them, and if not usable throw them away.

I know it's hard, but your dad is in your heart, not in the tools he used to make his living, and he can never be thrown away.

God bless, Rosebud ƸӜƷ

Have you heard of Freecycle? The only thing is it has to be free. But you can post what you have to get rid of and usually people will want it. You can also post to come and empty our shed and they will come take what they want. I think it would be really helpful to you... if you are sure you want to be rid of it. I live in HMB ad we have CoastsideFreecycle which is all coastside communities, but there are others. I think if you search freecycle and your location you should be able to find it. Even if you don't use it this time, it's a great resource for future items you are looking to get rid of... or things you are in need of. It works both ways! Good luck!

You can totally do it. Keep one drafting tool, and one thing from your mom, and one from your grandma (or whomever). Trash the rest. Anything that's been in your shed for more than a year would be better off in someone else's house. There are people out there would would LOVE to have your stuff. Make their days!

You CAN part with those things! And I am very, very sorry for you loss. A friend of mine lost her dad and it's been so hard for her. She doesn't seem like the same person. You will always have the memories of your dad. I know it can be hard. Your dad would want the best for you, I am sure. Sounds like the stuff is just in the way. If you're not using it, let someone else who might want it have a chance to have it.

If you're crafty and do want to keep your dad's stuff, maybe you can make a shadow box/college with them and pictures of your dad. Otherwise, see if there is a Freecycle community in your area. I like them a bit better than just listing stuff on Craigslist. It's an online community that one can offer or request free items. That way maybe someone can actually use or at least apprieciate those items. Good luck!

The objects are just that: objects and things. Unless you have someone in your family who is also a draftsperson and could use the tools, give them to Goodwill. Someone who might not be able to afford these in a "regular" store might be able to buy them. OR a collector might add them to their wonderful collection and get lots of joy from them. You have your dad in your heart and memories. And, really, if they were that valuable to you, why are they in your shed getting stinky? When you die, no one will say "oh, she had the greatest stuff!", they'll say "she had the kindest heart, she was the best friend anyone could have!" It's okay, your dad wouldn't want you cluttering up your life with things that you can't use.

Piggy-backing on others who are encouraging you to let go: have you considered selling them? I don't know what they may or may not be worth, but it might feel more justifiable to you if you sell rather than trash or donate them? I used to keep everything, and I just can't do it anymore. I have maybe one piece from each of my grandparents. I mean, who needs an angel figurine with a the trumpet broken off just because it was my grandmother's? hehe

Less is more!!! It really is true. And I know it is hard to throw away all your dads stuff. I had to do it. That does not mean that you don't love him or cherish his memory or the tools that he used to use. You will always have the memory of him, and you will not lose those memories if you get rid of his stuff either. I know it takes courage to do it. Maybe you can do one trash bag at a time, and do another one the next day. If they are nice you could have a garage sale too. That way you could pass on your dads love to someone else.

I am purging as well. Just wish I could purge some of hubbies things. I can get out of hand easily so at least once a year I purge magazines, collectables, crafts stuff I havent used (except the expensive stuff). Starting to reuse stuff as well. I have nothing on my walls. Going get some frames for record album covers. Going to bite the dust and frame some of my sons art. Using his old wooden play table for a side table for my couch.

Oh but I wish I could purge some of my husbands things.

Oh my gosh, I can't help you because I'm in the same situation cleaning out my craft room... (but what if I NEED those snowflake shaped stickers for an art project or something in 2 years?!?!).

If you are attached to his things, take a nice long picture. Maybe choose one or a few small items that you have a special memory of to keep for posterity's sake. Put an ad on craigslist, a "cleaning out the work shed sale, from 9-2 Saturday) lots of workers love coming and getting tools.

I lost my dad too and I got rid of a lot of his stuff. Honestly, it makes me sad I got rid of so many of his clothes, b/c I could have made quilts out of them for the family. But we kept his most loved items, a few books some of his trophies, journals, pictures we kept... all his Tony Robbins collection, yeah those went to Goodwill! But the things that held meaning we kept and distributed.

Good for you!!! You can do it!!! I know it sounds impossible, but once you get rid of stuff and really follow through-- that is, drive it to Goodwill and drop it off or take it to the dump or wherever you will feel great.
A few weeks ago I took some of my children's baby things to Goodwill. It killed me to do it. I felt sad like I was giving away a part of their precious baby-ness but I live in a tiny house with no garage so I just can't keep stuff around like that. Anyhow, last week I dropped something else off at Goodwill and remembered how I felt about those baby things and, you know what? I couldn't even remember what they were! I still have no recollection of what the exact items were. But I DO remember my babies in all their delicious babyhood. The memories won't go away.
And if that story's not incentive enough here's another:
My mother-in-law's father was a painter. Okay, a pretty average painter. When he died, he left her, an only child, with hundreds of mediocre medium sized canvases to deal with. It's taken weeks of her life to try to get rid of SOME of them and to honor his memory and store them properly. She still has a huge Rubbermaid shed full of them in the cellar and they're all over her house, cluttering the walls. And really, they're not that great! I don't want to leave that kind of burden for my children or anyone else. By taking care of your stuff you're taking care of others too.
You can do it!

Sounds like you have it down pretty good! If you aren't going to use it, toss it. I get why you feel like you're tossing part of him, but you REALLY aren't. If you're unsure, and if you think you're keeping it mostly for the memory part of it, you can always take some photos of the items and then toss them. That way you can look at the photos and remember whatever it is that you think of when you see any particular item. Good luck and have fun!