More Babies?

A.-
I have three children 8, 6 and almost 4. They all have severe food allergies. We are a strong, healthy and loving family. I have to remind myself everyday it's just food!! Something I can and my kids can control. Food Allergies are easily managed. Please feel free to contact me for some support. I would not change a thing. My children are not defined by these limitations... they embrace it and are leading a great life inspite of the it!!

You can do this!! Having another child is a tough choice but food allergies should not play a big role.

Good luck to you!!
L. Campbell
____@____.com

My theory is that you are only given what you can handle and if you do have a second child, there could be nothing wrong or they could have allergies but this time around you are more aware of what to look for and how to handle it. I say go for it.....one day you will wonder what might have been if you don't.

We had the same decision to make. My first is allergic to peanuts, almonds, cashews, walnuts, and pecans. She outgrew her egg allergy around age 3. She also has excema and asthma -My next two children (7 and 2) have been tested and don't have any food allergies. - I really don't think of my daughter's allergy and asthma as limiting her life. We take every precaution we can and educate everyone around her, but we don't let it stop her. She has participated in track, ballet, gymnastics, soccer, swim team, and loves kick ball! -

Dealing with the food allergies seems to get easier with time. If your second has any, you will be prepared and they will have a big sister to look up to as an example.

Feel free to e-mail me if you want to talk more. Best of luck!

Go ahead and have another child, allergies will come and go and Children do need siblings. If you can afford another child and truely want another don't let allergies stop your joy of haveing a well rounded family.Nothing can ever replace having children to carry on your heritage.

My aunt currently has 5 kids. Her oldest one has a whole list of food allergies. At a very young age she knew what she could and couldn't eat---and how to ask ask and even read some of her major allergies (peanuts & eggs) on ingredient list. I would say my aunt taught her that by the age of 4 at the lastest.
She is the only child of the 5 to have allergies. There are 2 girls and 3 boys in the family and no one else does. She is very grateful she didn't hesitate to have other children!

Chill
Have another child if that is your hearts desire. Don't let allergies stop you. You will be denying yourself great joy.

I'm not trying to be mean and this is a totally dumb question but do you love your daughter any less because of her allergies? would you love a new baby any less if something were wrong? there's always a chance something will be wrong with our kids, either now or later, it shouldn't be the controlling factor in this choice.

Honey, I would not rest your decision about having a baby on what you THINK MIGHT happen!! For one thing, nothing is certain. My sister and I are complete opposites. She had a lot of allgery problems as a child whereas I had practically none. Also, do you love your daughter any less because of her allergies? No way!!! Trust God to give you what you can handle. None of us has any idea what to really expect when we get pregnant, but that's part of the joy of being a mom.

The other thing to consider is that your daughter really has very little for you be concerned about in the grander scheme of things. Many, many children are born with much worse problems that can make your life challenging. So, give your unborn a chance to surprise you!!

My husband & I just had a tearful conversation about growing our family again. I own a growing babysitter placement service that is a local business & also a growing regional franchise. We have aggressive expansion plans and it's almost crazy to think we could accomplish all of our goals if I'm pregnant, on a maternity leave, and still being as involved as I want to be as a mother. When my husband asked me how on earth I thought we could have another child, double the # of franchisees, and increase local revs 25%, I just started crying.

When I think about all the things we'll aspire to, be successful at, and what kind of legacy we'll leave, the one thing I know is that our greatest accomplishment will be our children. I know they will be the one thing we will never regret having more of, we'll never regret spending any of our moments with them, and I know we'll grow strong, healthy, responsible kids that can change their world for the better. So when something's got to give, I don't want our children to be what fall behind our ambition in our priorities. They are the one thing I KNOW is right. Now, don't think I'm the Duggars on my way to 18 kids! Just a couple more.

Good luck on figuring out what's best! My only thought specific to your situation is to make your decisions based out of your strengths and faith, not out of fear.

P.
www.BabysitEase.com

Don't let "what could happen" keep you from trying again.

If we did that, we wouldn't have our second. Both our daughters were conceived "with help", and our first daughter had a twin until 10 weeks into the pregnancy. There was no rhyme or reason to it, it just happened. They attributed it to "vanishing twin syndrome". Then she had to have tubes in her ears at 1 year old due to recurrant ear infections, and had to have the muscles in her eyes operated on to keep them from turning in, then another surgery to take the tubes out - all surgeries went very well.

I could have let all that scare me from ever trying for #2 for fear that we might have to endure all that again. Instead, we tried again, and no, it didn't happen again. #2 hasn't had but 2 ear infections (she's now 33 months), and her eyes are fine. BUT I wouldn't have know unless I tried.

Someone else suggested altering your diet with #2 and that that might have an impact on #2 not having so many allergies. Couldn't hurt to look into that - you never know.

For what it's worth - and good luck!!

My oldest has allergies, his brother is 18 months younger and isn't allergic to any thing. I have a friend with 3 kids and only the oldest is effected.

You have been through the hard part. You know the allergies are a possibility and what tests/doctors to help you identify. Don't deny yourself the joy because of fear of the unknown. You have experience on your side this time and your daughter may really enjoy having a sibling.

I have three children, my oldest also has peanut and egg allergies (along with a few others). Adjusting to the allergy with the first was nothing like adjusting with my other children. When my daughter was born, we assumed she was allergic to the same things as my son and avoided those foods. She was not tested for food allergies until she went to Kindergarten, when we also discovered she had a lot of the same allergies. This game plan also worked for my youngest. He has not yet been tested for food allergies, but avoiding the same foods as the other allergies, he has not had any problems.

My husband had food allergies as a child that he outgrew, but I came from a family where no allergies, whether food or seasonal was ever an issue. That being said, I just want you to know, that after adjusting to the allergies with my oldest, it never really was an issue with the others. It was just a way of life. watching food for two or three children is no harder (or stressful) then for one, and I wouldn't trade having more children for the world.

I hope you find the answer that is best for you and your family.

First and foremost, if the ALLERGIES are the biggest of your concerns, I wouldn't hesitate to try for another one. What you need to realize is that there are WAY more allergies etc than kids 10, 20 & 30 years ago. OUr diets are WAY worse and contain MANY more chemicals, etc. In addition, when infants (& partially from the parents) don't get the nutrients it takes to BUILD an adequate immune system, this can contribute, as well.

Secondly, allergies are manageable! Have you seen someone who specializes in allergies & asthma? Don't know where you live but there is a lady doc who's got offices in Carmel & Noblesville who does just that. In addition, I have a client who's got a grandson who had a dog allegy. He went to FULLER CHIROPRACTIC in Brownsburg, I believe. He had two treatments and NO MORE ALLERGIES. She said that the doc said he wouldn't have to come back for follow up treatments, either. The only reason he'd have to come back is if he developed another kind of allergy.

Focus on WHAT YOU CAN CONTROL. Don't miss out on the opportuntiy and experience because of a fear that CAN BE OVERCOME and RESOLVED.

Hi A.,
I understand your fear. It sure sounds like you want another. I was born with reflux of the kidneys & needed surgery when I was 10. My dr.s said there is a big chance my children would have it & would have to get them checked. Our 1st daughter had a cathedar (sp?) at 2 mo. to check her kidneys & she's OK. Our 2nd was checked at 4 mo. & 16 mo. & she has it. She's 2 & needs to be checked (with a cathedar) annually and surgery is a possibility. Of course I'm a nervous wreck & don't want my kids to go through the pain that I did. We really wanted children & think it's unfair to have an only child. My husband & I both have siblings & think that sometimes things are easier to deal with having siblings. My mother-in-law passed away on Halloween & although my husband has me, his dad, cousins, etc. having brothers helped him a ton. My best friend is an only child and is struggling with her mother having cancer. She's married and has supportive friends and family but has said that she wishes she had a sibling to share help her through the process.
Sorry it's long winded! I feel kinda strongly about having more than 1.
Good luck in what ever you choose.

I definitely would not let food allergies scare you from having another child. If you are that fearful, perhaps you are actually worried about having another child for other reasons? In terms of the allergies. I have a daughter who has been allergic to soy and eggs since before 1 year old (she vomits, gets hives, trouble breathing, etc.). Recently she has also been diagnosed with peanuts and milk allergies due to chronic stomach aches for the past two years (she's 4 now). My next daughter (almost 2) does not have any symptoms of allergies and has now officially eaten all of the "offending foods." It is really scary when you give them the foods that their sibling is allergic to, but you have experience now with food allergies and you would be able to spot trouble a mile away. Besides, we wouldn't trade our daughter for the world. If she had ended up allergic to wheat and seafood, for instance, it would make planning impossible for us, but I'd rather have my two girls and deal with the allergies than not have their smiling faces to enjoy. Oh, and I love that there are two of them now. They are so cute together (aside from the usual rivalry!).

My dad had seven kids and only one of them has any allergies. My brother Lucas is allergic to wheat, nuts and eggs. Having another child can be a difficult decision for some couples, worrying about allergies or other complications can make it more difficult I'm sure. I would think about your daughter and how much you love having her in your life - allergies and all.

I feel your pain. I had to make a similar decision. When my daughter was 2 and a half I was diagnosed as bi-polar. I had always hoped to have two children so that they would have one another when my husband and I were gone. But my daughter who is eight now, has a 50% chance of getting this disease. Personally, I could not inflict those odds on another child for my own selfish reasons. Not to mention having a very difficult living situation...I rapid cycle so my energy level changes every third day. So after giving it much contemplation my husband and I agreed that we would have no more children. This has been very hard for my daughter because she desperately wants a sibling but I know the limitations of my illness and understand that children don't ask to be born into a difficult situation. Hopefully one day she will understand that too. You have to ask yourself, "Do I knowingly want to watch my child suffer and be able to do nothing about it." As much as I love my daughter I have to admit that had I been diagnosed prior to conceiving her, I would have chose not to have children. She has suffered because of my illness and she is already showing symptoms of this horrible disease. Like me, you had no idea that your daughter would have these allergies but with baby number two you know your odds so you will have to accept the responsibility of any problems that child may have in the future. That will be a heavy yoke to carry. Good luck my friend, I hope this has given you some insight.

Ok, so here's a question I have to ask...

If you had been able to know about your daughter's issues with food before you got pregnant, would you still have had her? And whatever your answer to this is your answer to your question. If you say yes, you would have had her no matter what, then have another baby. You also have a 30% chance of having a completely normal baby with no allergies. And allergies aren't that big of a deal as long as you watch what she eats. The other things that usually come with the food allergies aren't that terrible either. Asthma is no big deal, I've had it my whole life and it doesn't affect my life any. I keep an inhaler in my purse and use it when I need it. Good luck.

My friend's first has horrible asthma, and everything that could possibly go with it. She was in and out of the hospital placed on oxygen several times before she was 6 mos old. She is allergic to peanuts, tree nuts, and several other things. When my friend decided to have a second she and her ob decided that she would cut all nut products and I believe most dairy out of her diet through the entire pregnancy. He second (a son) is 5 now and has absolutely no allergies food or otherwise, and is asthma free.

I guess what I am trying to say is you will never know if you don't try. If there are problems you will learn what they are and deal with them just like you have with your daughter!!! Just think the second time around things will be so much easier because you already know so much.

Hope this helps you a little. Good luck with what you decide

JMHO, but I would go for it. If you had known you would possibly give birth to a child with food allergies, would you have done it the first time? Can you imagine life without your daughter now? (Of course not!) She is going to live with these food allergies her entire life--that's part of her living situation and she will adjust and adapt. If you have a child with other food allergies, YOU will adjust and adapt, and so will the child, and so will your older child...Maybe they won't have allergies. Maybe they'll have something else that is much harder to deal with or live with...I know I wouldn't limit my family size if I wanted more children, simply because of a 70% possibility of food allergies.

Hi A.,

I'd say go for it. Another possibility: adoption. (of course, that child might also have allergies lol!)

Good luck whatever you decide.

K. Z.