so i live in a city where none of my original family or friends are just the inlaws i married into, and am in the process of divorce. my son and i have been doing awesome recently, just having fun and enjoying life together. usually my ex husbands family knew everything going on but now i feel like they shouldn't be so involved. my mother in law has to know everything about everything and is constantly trying to raise some kind of hell with other family members about my parenting or decision making. i feel like im on a stage with everyone staring me down. i know i'm a good mother and can do it by myself. but whenever anything goes wrong in my life i have only aquaintances to turn to and friends that can't be there everytime. i feel like i should move to my hometown, but do know it would do know good for my career or my son. there is support here for my son especially his grandmother my mo in law and etc. i just want to be able to walk away from this divorce knowing i can make the decisions on my own without having to tell my old in laws. i wish my mother in law would lay off and have attempted telling her but unfortunately i have to ignore her for her to listen. she's going through menopause and definately has it all her way. where do you go with this?
How would she know how you're parenting unless you told her? I'm confused. I would be more careful about what info you're putting out there, personally, if you don't want people judging you.
Show some backbone, you are the one in charge of your life and your childs. Once they see you being secure they wont mess with ya. If you are "dependent" on them they see that as weakness.
My MIL is good overall, but she is also annoying and very opinionated. The first couple of years of motherhood were very tough for me because I was insecure and she seemed to be criticizing me quite often. I've learned to ignore her negativity for the most part. She still gets to me occasionally. I try to be as positive as I can, sincerely listen to her advice (even if there is no way in hell I'm going to follow it) and ask her for advice when either I don't care or I genuinely think I will be willing to follow it.
We have a pond on our property, and of course the idea of one of my kids drowning is terrifying. But we also have a fenced in backyard, and I'm very vigilant when they are outside. The gates are locked, and they cannot get out of the yard. She will not shut up about it. She's always telling me how much the pond scares her. I got so tired of it that I asked her (very nicely) if there was something she thought we should do about it or that we should do differently. Nothing! She just kept telling me that it keeps her up at night. Well, I don't mean to be insensitive, but that's her problem. I've done what I can.
My point is, you are the mom. You're doing the best you can to raise your son. Just believe in your self. Try not to volunteer too much information, and only ask for advice if you really do want it or really don't care what she's going to say. Fit her into your life when you can, and don't let her guilt you into doing more than is healthy for you and your son.
You're going to be just fine!
I went to the wedding of my eldest son in November and lo and behold the mother in law from my first marriage was there. Why I thought she wouldn't be I don't know. Fantasy perhaps? I divorced my exhusband about eighteen years ago and never saw her again,. Actually didn't see him much either, even when he was supposed to have visitation he chose times to not show up. Ok, so she is at the wedding and proceeds to annihilate me talking about what an evil person I am, etc. etc in front of her family (my ex sister in law was so supportive even told me she was sorry this was happening) and my son went and told her to cut it out. I'm getting there...bare with me. Well, the point is, I had the mother in law from h--- and sounds like you have simply an annoyance who could prove to be a real help and your son's life will be healthier if you can roll with the punches. Write down a list of the negatives and positives. Sounds like more positives than negatives here, and choose your battle carefully. The time is gone now and my sons, despite how hard I worked to create a wonderful life for them, have been affected by nasty inlaws and how they have tried to make their mother look bad. My advice? if you want is to choose your emotions about this you can. Menopause sucks, but that is not why she is being like that. She is after all her own son's mother and will be around for awhile. You do not have to tell them what the decisions you make are unless it affects their life someway. You are after all his mother. Don't tell on yourself. Not worth it. Just live your life.
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You MIL is not being supportive of your son, she is criticizing you and that is not supportive. Even if she believes you are doing something wrong she should speak to you and not your son or anyone else. Parenting is hard enough you don't need to have someone telling your son you are wrong. Your son will lose respect for you.
Try writing her a letter. Sometimes it's hard to get all your words out. Alot of times things are too emotionally charged and a letter gives you a chance to get it all out there.
