My son came home with a note from the teacher assistant saying he has been out of control at lunch, in class and recess. She is referring to his body. He has nearly knocked her over more than once! He swings his arms and hit another peer in the nose! He will not sit still at lunch and causes a commotion nearly every day! He is seven years old and very loving with no more energy than other boys the same age. I felt like her words were hostile and personal.
What do you think?
My husband and I have a private conference set up with the teacher next week to discuss this hand written letter.
Thanks so much for all of your responses. I too agree, to have all of the facts and observe his in school behavior. I did ask my son if he had ever placed his name on the red light in class, and his answer was no just yellow. The class uses a stop light to stay on taskl.
I would contact his teacher and request a conference to get more of an explanation from her not the assistant.
You need a personal discussion with the teacher, so I'd call and schedule one. The teacher is the one who should be giving you an assessment and collaborating with you on solutions if there's a problem.
I think you need to get more information in person as well, however I don't understand others' comments about THE ASSISTANT! As if she is not qualified to make an observation of student behavior. Obviously she was hired for a reason and has responsibilities as a staff member at the school. She is not giving an academic assessment, she is talking about behvior she has observed and that directly affects her and the students she supervises. I would not go in there with an attitude that the assistant is somehow inferior. Maybe it's because my kids go to a private school of my choosing, but I fully trust in all the staff at their school and work with them rather than against them from the beginning.
I've been a teacher assistant. I agree, she shouldn't have been allowed to contact you directly, that's the teacher's job, request a meeting with her.
I agree to talk to the teacher. But talk also with the assistant there. Perhaps the teacher ASKED the assistant to write it. Perhaps the assistant is a college student, and part of her responsibilities include writing letters to the parents. Who knows.
And show up at school and observe your son in the cafeteria. You can show up, check in with the office, and if the cafeteria is crowded like most, your son and the teacher's assistant won't even see you. Make your own observations to see if he really is out of control. Then you can decide what to do at home to deal with it. Could be that he's a wiggler (like most boys his age as you said) and they're not giving him activites that allow him to get out of his seat - so at lunchtime and recess he's trying to get some wiggles out and he's having a hard time doing so 'gently.'
I think whether it's true or not, that is something that needs to be discussed in person not via a note.. I would call the school and ask for a meeting and get to the bottom of this.
Talk to the teacher and get some further info.
Mom, have you seen this behavior in the past? has he ever been diagnosed as hyperactive? I would sit down with your son and tell him he needs to be much more aware of his surroundings and explain what that means. Sounds like he needs to settle down and not act so wild unless of course he is on the playground ourdoors. Do tell him that real roughhousing eve outdoors is not good at school, like tackling others, hitting etc. but he can run, jump, climb, kick the balls. I agree that boys are very active but your son may need to tame his behavior a little. If it is a big problem I am curious why the teacher has not addressed this with you. I would send his classroom teacher a note and see how she feels about this behavior and if she sees it as a problem, it then set up a mtg with her to address this and get some suggestions since you dont want to start his school yr off on a bad note.You may also want to stop in and visit him sometime at lunchtime and have lunch with him to see how he is acting? I would set some firm consequences with him on poor behavior at school after you talk to his teacher to see if it is real concern of her or just a new assistant who is not used to being around young boys. Sounds like he may need to learn to use more self control in public. Hope this helps, keep us posted.
sounds like you should observe...
Is the Teacher "Assistant" even allowed, to send notes home to Parents??? Did she get an "approval" by the Teacher, to send you a note on your son???
I would talk to the TEACHER herself... not the "Assistant."
Before you get upset about it.... make sure, the Teacher, 'knew' what the Assistant did....
Don't respond back to the Teacher Assistant... deal with the TEACHER.
Be aware I am a mother of an almost 5 year old who has learning delays and is in a preschool class with children of all sorts. This may be due to either a psychological problem which he doesn't really mean to do these things or something else. I'm not saying your son is ill I'm just saying that his behavior should be examined by someone professional. I am sure he doesn't mean to do these things. He may just be an excitable kid in school. I found that my son behaves differently in school. He's more attentive=). However we have had incidents in the bus that needed to be addressed. So far we have made progress. Each kid is different. I'm just giving a suggestion. Maybe she came off as hostile and aggressive because she is frustrated. Where I live, instead of just complaining about a child the teachers make us aware and provide resources. We even have outside of school educational support that is paid by the government. It takes a while to get it but it is worth the hassle.
I wonder what she means about being "out of control" at recess. Kids should be allowed to run around and do whatever, as long as it doesn't hurt them or anyone else. Having an active recess may help your son be quieter in the classroom and cafeteria.
I have six sons, all nearly grown now--my youngest is 15. Boys do need to be active. Mine were able to behave in school because they were allowed to be energetic at home and during recess.
You might want to connect with the mothers of other boys in his class. Together you can compare notes and also arrange activities for your sons. I led a Cub Scout troop for a few years and found that was another good way to let the boys get rid of all that energy.
Not having read her actual words... it sounds as if she was trying to put things in context. AKA if she had just said that Johnny B hit another peer in the nose and nearly knocked me over, it wouldn't have given the actual picture of the day. I would have read temper tantrum, as opposed to if it was an all day thing, that he was bouncing off the walls. A temper tantrum is a punishable offense... bouncing off the walls means something is going on. Same token, SOMETHING has to be sent home. I would be furious as a parent if my son was crashing into others on a regular basis (as opposed to just an accident), or had hit another student and I wasn't informed. Ditto, as the parent of a child who had been hit I would be furious if when talking to the teacher that the other parent hadn't been informed.
