Mothers After 40, Wisdom, Please. Shall I Have One More Biological Child?

Why not? If you want one then have one. I think you're entitled to have as many children as you want. So go for it.

The phrasing of your question screams loudly that you are just looking for people to say "yes".

So - "yes"!

You're welcome.

(If you included any information about concerns that are weighing on your mind, it would be easier to give a balanced answer with opinions related to your specific situation.)

I am 40 and have gone back and forth about whether to even bring up to my husband the thought of having another. But I never do.....because I like where I am at. I have a full time job, my 3 kids are 6, 12, and 15...so they all sleep through the night, adding a 4th child to our group would just be too much. Plus, even though you are healthy there IS a risk of you having a child who may need extra care. (1 in 60 chance that your baby could have Down Syndrome. And while that wouldn't make much difference to me, I don't know if it would to you. And it could cost a lot of money. And in the future your child will live with you, probably into adulthood. And then when you and your husband die...who would raise your child?)
As wonderful as kids are, as much as I sometimes ache to have a baby...I know that it just doesn't make sense for ME to do so.
BUT...if you are willing to take on the medical risk, if you don't mind giving up your nights to feedings, diapers, and crying, and if you and your husband are on the same page...go for it!

My husband had no interest in kids, and I wanted a brood. We stopped somewhere in the middle.

I wasn't questioning it about our 'baby'. I just knew and my husband loved our family (turns out he is a great dad) so he was on board. We were older. I had to have more testing during my pregnancy, but otherwise - totally uneventful and healthy baby. We did talk at length about risks, and made sure we were approaching it on the same page.

My friends who have questioned whether they should, ended up not. For me, I was as sure with my last as I was my first.

My thought is - life rarely turns out as you expected so I wouldn't personally hold on to what you planned or wanted as a teenager. Will another baby add to your life? Answer that honestly together, and think of what it will be like with an infant, a 5 year old, a 10 year old, etc.

Once I had our baby, I was 100% sure our family was complete. It hadn't felt complete until that point. Hope that helps!

I chose not to. My two boys were a handful. I knew that I didn't have the stamina to do it at 40. And that is how old I would have been if I had tried for a third...

Fast forward now to having one out of college and one in his last year of college. The amount of money we have spent to raise these kids is astronomical. I am grateful that in December we will pay our last college tuition payment. I can't tell you how glad I am that I'm not having to do that for another one...

I had my first with 40, my second when I was 42 years old. Healthy and easy babies. Uneventful pregnancies, both natural birth. We planned to conceive each time we had a vacation and it worked like a charm.

I would not hesitate...
Wishing you a wonderful new addition to your family!

If you are both on board, I say go for it. I would just go over all the essentials first. Are your finances set? Can you afford another from birth through college? It sounds like you are healthy and had good pregnancies. But, as we all know, anything can happen. Are you prepared to be on bed rest? Are you prepared for medical or other costs if the baby has needs? I know this can happen at any age. Do you have good life insurance? Do you have the energy for a baby and toddler...and, yes...another teen? It sounds like both of you are wanting to, you are in good shape, and you have considered the possibility of risks. My cousin just had her first at age 46ish and has talked about having her next one! She had no issues, a supportive husband, all her ducks in a row, and now a healthy baby girl. Adoption is fantastic too. Good luck to you!

I am a mom of 1 and our family was complete with 1. We never considered or got the "baby bug" for more.

I am a believer that it is my (a parental obligation) responsibility to provide for all of my child 100% which includes getting through college 100% debt free and setting her up so that when she starts her career, she is not starting it with school or other debt. Of course, she has worked along the way in order to establish work ethic and learn about hard work. My late husband and I have always been very driven and she is the same way.

That said.... it is your family and your decision. I know you want everyone to answer with glowing yes yes yes do it but only you know in your heart if that is the right thing to do. If hubby is on board and you are up for changing your lifestyle back to pregnancy, one in diapers and toddler years, potentially a special needs or sickly child, and being an older grandmother/mother, it is the choice of you and your hubby. You have to think of the financial and emotional changes it WILL make to the dynamics of your current family.

Keep in mind that the age difference plays a big part. Not all siblings create a bond and are close.

I am 6 years older than my brother. We have NOTHING in common, we do not visit, talk or keep up with each other's families. We are simply NOT close and never were. I have not seen him in at least 4 years. I was too far ahead of him in years and as we got older, my mom used me for helping raise him which I am sure is a part of the reason we are so different and not close.

Best of luck whatever you choose. If it were me.... no way

If finances are fine - you have enough to retire in relative comfort and have something saved up for college for your current kids - then fine - go for it.
Raising kids is certainly an adventure!
It might be easy peasy - but if you have a special needs kid - although a labor of love - the resources needed to care for someone until you die of old age can sometimes be more than people can handle.

We have just one and he's heading off to college next week.
I'll go a little nuts not being an active parent anymore but I need to find a job that will last me 10 or so years until retirement and I'd like to take a nice relaxing adult vacation with Hubby every so often.
Eventually when son has his degree, has a career, has a wife, a house - maybe THEN I can look forward to a grandchild to spoil.
But right now - as soon as our son starts making a decent living - I'd like him to set up an IRA sooner than later because if it has 40 or more years to grow - he should be very comfortable when his retirement comes.

Eventually every mother has to face never having another baby again - whether it's after 1 or more kids.
Maybe you can put that off for later - but not everyone is able to get pregnant at > 40.
There's still a lot of living to do after raising kids.
Think it over carefully!

I was one and done, and there was nothing that would have ever changed my mind and made me even consider having another. But that's me and my life.

If both you and your husband want more kids, and can afford more kids, then go for it, whether you build them from scratch or adopt.

i am not in my 40's. but i will say this. if you want one and your spouse wants another they why are you online asking random mommas what they did or didn't do? if your dr says your healthy and can have another then go for it. if your dr is cautioning you for some reason then talk with the dr about risk before you move on. if you want it do it. other wise you might regret not doing it.

Here is why I wouldn't (and I am in my 40s). You don't mention how old your other children are, but if they are older, they really won't have much of a relationship with a new, much younger sibling. Other reasons we didn't have more children in our 40s was age. While I could "probably" do the whole baby/toddler thing in my 40's, did I want to do high school/teenage drama in my 50s and high school graduation in my 60s and college graduation as I was approaching 70? NOPE. I also know that I would not be able to enjoy my grandchildren from offspring in my 40s, like I enjoy my grandbaby now.

I guess we spent alot of time thinking about the future for both us and our mythical baby - and for us it was a no.

We did also adopt 3 children (plus we have biological children) and our personal experience is that we would never do it again and never recommend it to anyone.

Good luck

I am only 30 (mother of 2) but my sister who is 41 and my mother who are here with me both agree that you should do whatever makes you happy. Having a biological child is always wonderful and a blessing. Trust God. There is alot of work and money involved in adopting but if you choose this option you will be changing the world for the better. God bless!

I'm in CA and it is not uncommon to see pregnant 40 year olds. I do know of many that happen without help (meaning the mom became pregnant either on accident or without doctor intervention). Also, the children in school born to 40+ moms seem perfectly healthy. I only say this because you mention risk and no abortion.