Moving My 2 Year Old Out of Our Bed and Sleep Issues....

Updated on March 19, 2008
P.G. asks from Surprise, AZ
5 answers

Hi-

I am a 40 year old first time mother of a now 2 year old daughter (her birthday was last week). Logan is a wonderful child; easy going, very loving, smart, funny, and the perfect little person for me and my husband. She was concieved through IVF and was originally a twin. We lost her sister to Down Syndrome at about 18 weeks of pregnancy. Due to some complications of the loss, Logan was born a month premature. She had a very hard time nursing at first because she was so tiny (4 1/2 pounds). I used a pump for 3 1/2 months and she finally got the hang of nursing at that time.

Until then, she was sleeping in her co-sleeper next to our bed with no problem. Once she started nursing though, it was so easy and comforting for me to allow her to sleep with us that that is where she has been ever since. I waited for so long and worked so hard to get this little angel into my life and would not change a thing if I had it to do again. The snuggle time and the bonding with the three of us has been priceless! I do feel though, that the time has come to try to get her to sleep in her own bed so that the snuggling can resume between me and my husband without having to "schedule" it!

We were thinking of moving her crib into our room to see if we can's start the transition, but are open to suggestions from those of you who have been through this sort of situation.

As a side note; my daughter has never really slept anywhere but our bed (other than her first few months) because she does not nap. The only time she is asleep is at night in our bed or in her car seat when she realizes she is trapped and finally gives in. Sleep has never been something that has come easily for her, she fights it tooth and nail! We have tried several different methods to force her to nap, but she has literally cried for over an hour and still never put herself to sleep, so I gave up. I hated to put her through something like that, but was willing to try anything.

Any suggestions you can give on us making the transition to her own bed would be very much appreciated.

Any help on getting her to sleep peacefully would also be welcomed.

Thanks in advance for your help! We are hoping to have sweet dreams for everyone in our household soon.

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D.W.

answers from Phoenix on

Hello!

When our daughter was that little, we had a lot of sleep issues, too. We referred to
"Secrets of the Baby Whisperer: How to Calm, Connect, and Communicate with Your Baby by Tracy Hogg and Melinda Blau" which seemed to us common sense advice on the issue. They also address how to stop habits that started as good intentions, but have evolved into new problems : )
I liked the tone of the book and the way she goes about things, working towards the desired result without forcing either parent or baby to tear their heart out.

Good luck!
D.

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L.G.

answers from Austin on

She will surely cry when you move her out of your bed, but a few nights of crying and persistent hard work will be worth it in the long run. Put her in her crib and lay her down and tell her to go to sleep, tell her you will be in your room, turn out the lights and walk away. Set a timer for 5 minutes. Then if she is still crying, go in lay her down, tell her to go to sleep and be reassuring that you will be in the next room over. Set the timer for 10 min. If you have a strong-willed daughter like ours, it was hard to hear the crying (and yes, head banging) for 10 min. but we held each other back for the full 10 min. Then we did the same routine and set the timer for 15 min. We did this, adding 5 min. until she gave up. It only took a couple nights. Do not put on quiet music, rock her to sleep, pick her up, etc. as that is what she will cry for every night. Just lay her down and tell her to go to sleep in a very reassuring voice and that you love her. She will learn to put herself to sleep even when she awakes in the night if you keep up this routine. I learned it from some show like 20/20 years ago.

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D.K.

answers from Phoenix on

Hi P.,

I am a 40year old first time mom. My daughter is now 13 months. I just started puttting her in her own room in her crib. SHe has always slept in a pack n play in our room. I would suggest going right to the crib. The pnp is too uncomfortable and probably to small for your daughter. I will tell you that I wait until my daughter is tired then I put her in her bed. She cries for 5 minutes then falls asleep. I wont let her cry past that as some people suggest.

Good luck!

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J.V.

answers from Phoenix on

We are also co-sleepers and absolutely love it! You are right, though. Eventually the time does come to move them. I found the information found in The No Cry Sleep Solution to be very helpful with sleeping and napping issues. I also love www.askdrsears.com. Here is a link that will help you:

http://www.askdrsears.com/faq/sl20.asp

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D.C.

answers from Phoenix on

Wow, you have a challenge in front of you. The transition will be harder on you and your husband than it will be on her. I would probably not put her in a crib since she has been in a regular bed her whole 2 years of life. A crib mihgt be very scary to her. I would invest in a toddler bed...under $200 bucks. Start to prep her by letting her know about her bedroom and that the plan is for her to start sleeping in her big girl room. Take her shopping for the bed and let her be a part of it. That way she will get excited. Make it special. Whatever you do, do not put it in your room. It is okay for you to lay down with her in her room but not yours. stay with her until she falls aspleep then leave. If she wakes up go in and wait till she falls asleep again......and so on and so on. Eventually she will start getting used to it. You are the one that has to be strong and persistant. Once you give in and let her back in your room even for one night you will be starting all over again. Load her up with her stuffed aniamal if she wants....a night light if she wants. Anything to make her want to be there...within reason. Develope a routine of books and songs. My daughter likes the same songs sung in the same order every night. As soon as the last one is sung she says "goodnight mommy, be careful" (I don't know what I am suppose to be careful of but she does I guess) Once she starts to like sleeping in her own big girl bed try to read the books and leave before she falls asleep. Eventually she will get it. Kids follow what their parents lead and if you are persistant and don't give in they will eventually give up the fight. But you must be calm and not get upset when they do.........just reasure her thatyou are near. Good luck

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