Moving up in Daycare

This is actually very normal for preschool-type day are situations. Small children thrive on schedules and when you're trying to manage a roomful of them, having a schedule is key! You can discuss it with her new teachers. Maybe you could try it and if it's not disruptive they probably won't have an issue. If she can't adapt to the different days or it's throwing the class out of whack, then youneed to comply with the rules. Also, if they feed them meals and snacks, they need to know which ones she's definitely missing so they don't waste those. Yes, you're paying them for a service, but they have to have rules and boundaries or they would have chaos. My son's preschool has an "in by 9" rule as well and so have the many I've tested in and researched over the past 5 years.

I do home daycare, and have a few certain timing rules...like if not here by 8am they get no breakfast...times for lunch (like if they leave for a Dr appt, or whatever and come back, half days, etc). I have several provider friends who do NOT allow pick up or drop off during nap time (as they use their front room for older nappers and it disrupts everyone, etc).

I know many providers, so I assume centers do similar, that do not want kids arriving during "learning" or class/activity times. Its very disruptive. Perhaps in her newly moved up class there is more organized activities, etc? I would discuss with them the particulars of why.

Just because you are paying for it, etc, doesn't mean you have the right to be disruptive to the entire mornings going's on's, as some might feel. Keep the communication open and see if there is a compromise in the timing or an alternate solution?

EDIT to add~ after reading a few other replies, I just feel the need to reiterate, as I usually do on any daycare related posts. Just because you have your child in daycare...home daycare or a center (unless its a nanny who comes to your house and only cares for your child/children and you pay all of the appropriate employer taxes and benefits and compensation for a person to LIVE off of and pay a regular persons bills), you are not the boss. You do not get to make the rules. Like "Sara B" says about how they work for you. Thats just plain bull. They operate a service business. If you do not like the rules and regulations of such, go elsewhere.

Just like if you do not like how a particular Dry Cleaners does your shirts, or the hours they are open (maybe its a small place and they shut down at lunch time for an hour..they can!)...you as a consumer can look in the yellow pages and find another place to go to. Daycare is the same way. We, as providers, are running a business and you are not our employers. If you are licensed, as I am, you follow certain safety guidelines and rules set forth by your state, etc...but the business practices are for US to set and enforce. I am sorry if this sounds harsh or witchy, but so many parents here and everywhere seem to forget this point.

I pay self employment taxes (more than your regular joe-worker bee does), have none of the benefits offered that an employee who works for someone else might have access to (medical/dental, etc, etc). The perk I do get is being the boss and making my business the way I want and I happen to be very successful at it.

Ok off my soapbox.

Best of luck.

I'd tell them that when it works for you you'll get her there by 9 but you can't promise anything since it's our late moring we're not really in a rush to get out the door - and please start without us. Your child will get the circle time or whatever on the other mornings. She's 1 and she should be able to spend PJ time with mommy on late mornings. There will be enough of her life when she's got to run out the door to be on time - she does not have to do this when she's only been on the earth for 365 days!!!

Dear J.,

I just typed a huge response and then it didn't get posted. So here is the short version - get a copy of the schedule from her teacher and then get your daughter on the same schedule (meals, naps, snacks) as the rest of the class - even when she is at home. I understand the teacher's point of view but if you continue to wake your daughter at the same time every day, and keep her meals consistent with school then she will be used to eatting and napping and will do so whether she is at home or school. Honestly, that is what we have done with both of our children (11 months and 5) and it has worked great. I work M,W, F and home T, TH with the boys. Down the road, you might need to be in by 9 if they are doing more "academic" circle time - but they shouldn't be doing that at one anyways!

I would say no. I'm sorry, but they work for you, not the other way around.

This is daycare, not preschool right? What time are you taking her in? If you are taking her in at 10:30, that may be tough if she's getting there (ready to play) and the kids are sleeping. What would she do for that time?

I would continue to take her on your time for the first week. If it's really disrupting the schedules, then consider making the change. Otherwise, you may want to consider having a babysitter at your home on those days.

No way. I could understand if she were in her late 3's or 4's and this was preschool. You can keep her on the school schedule at home, then bring her either for lunch time (assuming this is before nap), or post-nap. You could bring her at a transitional time for the school (like, not in the middle of an activity but at a time they are switching gears), but you should NOT give up your time with your daughter at this age for the sake of a school schedule.

Is this a daycare Facility or a home? I can see a home making requests based on schedule field trips. But not a facility. If your child misses out on the morning story time, oh well. Of course, my daycare experience was one of the low scale daycares, so they may have higher standards.

I would talk to management (not about the teacher), but just to ask if there will be any major changes that you need to know about when she moves up. I would think that a schedule change would be a major change.

If possible, keep your current schedule. If it's not daycare policy, but rather the teacher making it easier on herself... Then no major worries.

I think you should definitely keep your mommy/daughter time. When my oldest was in daycare, it wasn't uncommon for kids to come in at different times. If your daughter was in a preschool class and it would somehow impact the curriculum, I might (and I stress might) consider getting her there for the same time everyday. I don't think a 1 year old coming in late should be that disruptive to the schedule. You might want to talk to the teacher to find out exactly what would be disruptive and maybe you could help with the transitions. Good luck!

I wouldn't get rid of mommy/daughter time. But I think it would be very nice of you to drop her off right before or after nap time. Could you tweek your hours at work a bit to accomodate this? I don't think it's necessary to drop her off at 9 a.m. though. I would tell them no on that one.

If it is going to disrupt all the other kids in the class that are trying to take a nap I would either bring her in just before nap time or right after nap time. It is not fair to all the other kids and teachers for you to bring her in in the middle of nap time. Nap time is also usually the time teachers take their own break or get things ready for later in the day so it is also not fair to the teacher to have to watch your daughter if all the other kids are sleeping.

As a daycare provider I am really surprised that they would ask this of you. Your daughter is 1 year old, she'll have plenty of pre-school and school time in the years to come. No, I would not miss out on my Mommy time just because it makes things a little easier for the teacher, she needs to be flexible. Honestly I am outraged for you that they would even ask, does the director know about this request??????

M.

No, I'd keep what you are doing now. She needs you during that time more than the daycare needs her.

I would consider bringing her in early. I worked I. A one year old room for years and to be honest it's really not fair to the other children to be kept awake when they are tired. I had a parent that brought her child in during nap and the child never slept. Some days we would have to keep her out of the room so she wouldnt disturb all the kids. And then the days that wasn't possible all the kids were woke up way early and 12 tired and cranky toddlers=not a good afternoon!

Well is there another time u can do mommy time? Since she is going in earlier those days maybe u could arrange to have mommy time later..if not I would so keep mommy time! It is so crutial to keep that time with your daughter.. good luck! From a mom with a daughter of a 3 year old..:-)

I have been on lists for years where I speak with other providers and daycare center directors and teachers. I've never understood how it is that so many of these people think they can or should dictate to a parent their schedule. I understand how easy it is to be frustrated when someone else's schedule does not mesh well with what's happening in the daycare. But I see it as my job to find a way to meet the needs of each child even if it does mean that I do all the changing and or find a way to make it all work.

HOWEVER... I did run into a situation this year where a child comes to me for only 45 minutes per day and it has been her nap time. She has thrown up repeatedly upon arrival. Mom and dad convinced me that it was because she was abused or neglected at the last daycare. But over time they admitted that she has always thrown up randomly for a variety of issues. Mom told me once she would throw up if she ate strawberries. She did indeed throw up once when I forgot and she got some strawberries. Then recently dad feed her a bunch of strawberries and both mom and dad had completely forgotten her "strawberry allergy".

I finally had enough and was so sick of cleaning up this kid and I INSISTED that they change her schedule. She now walks in happy, awake, does not throw up, and she plays for the 45 minutes she's here. It was all car sickness due to being asleep in the car.

I am assuming that your daycare will NOT suffer that much from you sticking to YOUR schedule. You do what you want and what you think is best for your little one.

I would do what is best for my child…not myself or the school. If you think she will adjust to the new room, teachers and kids without a problem, I would stick to your normal schedule and just tell the school that coming in early will not work for you. They don't need to know why. If you think it will take her a little time to adjust (and I would think it might for a 1 year old) I would alter her start time for a week or two. Let her get comfortable and then go back to your normal schedule. 2 weeks with less time with you will be hard on you, but it may keep her eating and sleeping patterns better if she is not "stressed" about the change. And she will not be upset when you drop her off. These things always seem so dramatic and in a month you will wonder why you were ever even concerned ;) I know…I do it ALL the time!

I wouldn't give up your mommy time - they are working for you (remember that check you're writing them) - you are in charge! I would politely say that isn't possible.

I think you are paying them and they should be on your schedule. I mean it's not like this is something new. She will just get on the schedule once she is there. I think it's rude of them to ask you. However I don't use daycare so I'm not sure if this is normal or not.