Much Ado About SEX

I know exactly how you feel. I wanted sex ALL THE TIME before I was pregnant with my first and while I was pregnant.. After I had my first my self confidence went down the toilet.. I had an extra 15 pounds on me that I never had before (i was always very very skinny) My sex drive died... Then I got pregnant with my second... then it became non existing... I jsut had my second baby 3 months ago and honestly I only want to have sex when I am drinking and if we watch "sexy movies" together... Be upfront and honest... I told my husband that I love him very very much but I just have no sex drive at all... So we are working together to get it back... Exercising together so that I feel good about myself... I also sell sex toys for a living so I can bring home the newest thing for him so at least I can help him out. Please just be honest... My husband was very very understanding and even though he is still trying to "get some" all the time he knows I love him and am working on how to get my mojo back.

Sorry to be so graphic but why don't you keep your bra on ( so everything stays still on that front!!) and do it 'doggy style' w/ a bunch of pillows under you if you need the support?? You won't see anything moving (a.k.a fat!) and you may just start to enjoy it!!

Dr. Laura said something many years ago that really impacted the way I think about this in general (i'm 7 yrs older than my husband and am about 30 lbs overweight right now, I'm in my early 50's with two teens and NO energy!). Men are simple creatures - if they're not horny they're hungry. They'd rather have your non-perfect body naked against their naked body than not. So unless he wants a sandwich your husband wants y our naked body (even with all of *your*percieved imperfections) against his naked body. It's that simple.

You are harboring your husbands soon to be child, he finds you wonderfully, incredibly beautiful right now. Let him enjoy you. Making love is not always about looking sexy, it's really all about "love".

Sometimes if you just walk the walk, you'll find yourself talking the talk!

Your husband thought you were sexy and probably thinks you are even more sexy now that you are pregnant with his baby!!!

Go off that - don't psyche yourself out over feeling fat - I bet you are beautiful and not giving yourself enough credit...feed off your husband's attraction to you...don't listen to that nasty voice in your head...listen to your husband, feel your husband...he thinks you are sexy!!!

find your sexy. you CAN do it. You want sex - tell that voice to shut up - really - you CAN do it!!

If you don't want to be made love to, but want to make him feel loved, why not just give him head?

Oh hunny I am pretty sure your hubby thinks you look amazing right now!!

I had this issues with my 1st pregnancy. I felt gross and shy about my body.
My b/f told me "You are carrying my child, how can you NOT be gorgeous to me>??"
He always said how he loved the way I looked pregnant.
You can try to have you hubby help you get in the mood more.
Start by having him give you a massage to help you relax.
Exercise is also a good idea
Take a bath or shower together??

Keep reminding your self of how your hubby views you. YOU CAN DO IT!!!

Exercise really helps with energy during pregnancy and can actually make you feel "sexy". Try a light exercise routine several times a week and you just might notice your libido rise.

my first pregnancy had my hormones racing from week 1 to 40. my second pregnancy, i was like the sahara desert. no matter what i tried nothing helped.

to be candid, i remember going through the motions (aka, whatever it took to HELP him out, wink wink) for my husband's sake. it's only fair, you can't deny him for 9+ months, that's just mean.

don't force yourself, though. he should understand that it won't be frequent, for now. you have a few more months left, then it will be back. maybe with a vengeance? (re: a past posting of mine :/)

you'll get through it mama.

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it's up to you to find the happy.....

I know what you mean but that is how I feel after having the baby because of the flabby tummy and fatigue. Though while I am pregnant I feel so sexy because it is the only time that my boobs are big and my tummy is rock solid. I love being pregnant!

I have learned over our 15 yrs of marriage that just because I don't "feel" like having sex does not give me the right to deny our marriage that intimacy. If you truly love your hubby and want him to feel loved,adored,appreciated and sexy then go and be with him. He loves you so much and wants you...stretchmarks...cellulite...blueish veins all over boobs and belly(and God knows where else) and all. You need to get passed the image that YOU are desiring and love the fact that he wants YOU. You don't want him to suffer...so be with him..initiate it. You also don't want yourself to suffer and that is what happens when you think you're not pretty,sexy or slim enough. Feel sexy knowing you two created this little life growing in you. Go out and get some exercise daily...get sleep...eat healthy...drink plenty of water and take your vitamins...those are great mood changers.

Learn to fake it better. Explain to him how you feel but let him know you need his help by rubbing your back..doing dishes before bed...giving you some time to unwind and then shower and then be ready to love on him. Then ask him what he would like from you. My hubby knows when I am not in the mood but I do become an active participant and am always very happy afterward. ANd then there are times I am more frisky and more of the initiator. But..he is grateful for either way...and he loves me so much for always being game.

YOu are not alone. Most women are not programmed to be sexual tigresses. I had a wonderful OB/GYN that explained to me after my first(everything was soooo new) She told me that it is a mother's nature and very primal to not desire sex during and especially post partum. THis is the body's natural tendency to do everything possible to keep that baby safe and fed and alive. Hormonally your body does not want to be pregnant again and knows it needs time to heal. Your instinct is to be a mother bear and you are constantly subconsciously thinking about the baby. Sooo, the thought of sex is not a strong desire.

But we know how important it is to nurture the relationship so we talk ourselves into being intimate. I was grateful she talked to me about it so it made me feel normal. But she told me this was not reason to deny our marriage intimacy...she said you have had 6 weeks...now go home and be with your husband...he is probably climbing the walls. Dang I love that doctor...she was great. I kept her for all 3 births..

Good luck and best wishes for a great pregnancy and at becoming a better actress!

I have the opposite problem, Im 21 weeks pregnant and its my husband who doesn't want sex. Or at least he wont initiate. Driving me bonkers!

If i were you i would try giving him a little buzzy toy to use on you, or some exciting new stimulating gel......get the blood flow going to that region and badaboom.

I think a lot of us have been there sister! What I did was try to put myself in hubby's shoes...and I didn't want him to feel u-loved!

So, yep...fake it till you make it!

Updated

I think a lot of us have been there sister! What I did was try to put myself in hubby's shoes...and I didn't want him to feel u-loved!

So, yep...fake it till you make it!