My 1-Yr Old Cries Everytime I Leave Him at Daycare and Its Been 3 Weeks

He's probalby not ready for daycare. The first 3 years are the most important time for all day mommy/daddy time with kids.

Some very good advice has already been given, but I have a couple of things to add... First, you say your son is a year old. That can be a difficult age to introduce a child to daycare, simply because of the developmental stage of stranger anxiety. This is not something you can change, and you should not feel guilty, but just realize it may take your son a bit longer to adjust at this age.
Second.. I assume you did your homework and researched to be sure you've chosen the best provider possible for your son. However, it never hurts to do more observations to see just how things are going. My suggestion is that you talk with the provider and see if there is a way she can suggest for you to drop by and observe without your son being aware you are there. That way, you'll get a better idea how he's fitting in with the provider and the rest of the children in her care. It is probably good to make several observations at different times of the day.
Third... It may be that the time you are dropping your son off is too hectic. If several children are arriving at that same time, or the provider is involved in something with other children, your son may not feel he is getting the complete attention he needs during the drop-off transition. You might consider adjusting your arrival by ten or fifteen minutes to avoid a busy time. I would advise you discuss this possibility with the provider before making the change.
Finally... One thing I notice is that you say you are "a working mom that never sleeps". I get the impression that you need to do something for yourself to relieve some stress. If you are too stressed out in your life, it may be that your son is picking up on that. I don't have any specific suggestions, but it's something you may want to talk over with your husband and try to come to some plan that will work for both of you and give you some sort of stress relief.

I am a grandmother who has worked in childcare centers for over twenty years. We are now in the process of getting licensed for our own home daycare. Currently we take care of our 4 month old grandson and his two cousins, 2 and 4 year old girls.
Over the years I've seen many children enter daycare with anxiety issues. Most of them adjust within a week or two, but others take much longer. Sometimes a child who starts daycare easily will develop issues later on. I've seen this happen simply because of the child's developmental age as well as because of something going on either in the home or the daycare situation that created a stress issue for the child. I have found that in most instances, the child who cries when being dropped off will cease crying and begin to play and enjoy the day within about ten minutes, and the crying usually won't cease as long as the parent is there. If you haven't already done so, ask your provider how long your son cries, and how his day goes after you leave. Most providers will give you a run-down of the day in writing anyway, but you can sometimes get more detail by talking with the provider.

B. R.

I think the question is, how long does he cry? If he cries in front of you but ends it within 5 minutes of going inside, he is fine. Crying is his tool for saying, "I would rather be with you." If you have selected carefully, and know he is happy once settled in, you can't let him get to you. Tell him you love him, that you know he will have fun, and then CALMLY LEAVE. They sense our anxiety and play on it, but there is a difference between what they WANT and what they NEED, and you shouldn't feel guilty about not giving in to every WANT.

However, if he is not adjusting at all, and crying through most of the day there, it is another story. I had one child who acted "normally" being dropped off places, ie crying to protest but ultimately being fine, and one who simply was not suited to group care, who cried most of the time there. I'm the same me, just two different children. For one of my children the "need" was to not be in group care. For the other, it was just a "want." I had to resolve each differently.

This is the toughest part of being a parent. And it's exacerbated by the fact that he goes 3 times a week so it's not a set routine for him. What helped me was hanging out with my little one for a while (maybe 10-15 minutes)... then I'd drop him off with one of the teachers that he really liked. Even if he was crying in her arms I knew he'd be comforted by her later. I'd also hang out by the door (where he couldn't see me) to just see how long he'd cry for, and in time it really didn't last long and he got used to it. Another thing you could do is say "Mommy's going to leave when xyz (when I count to 10, when this song is over, etc)" so he can mentally prepare for the moment. Hang in there, it happens to the best of us.

My son would cry also, even when he went to preschool and Kindergarten!!!! He is now in his second year of preschool and does GREAT!!! I imagine my son was one of few who took this long, so cheer up, it's hard, but it does end!! PROMISE!!!

I'm a preshool teacher as well as a mom who went through the same issue, It's called seperation anxiety, and sometimes it just takes awhile to overcome. Don't give up just wait it out, i see plenty of children who 5 minutes after their parent leaves is fine and they have a blast playing and interacting with the other children all day, Then i see the same children, not want to leave when their parent comes, once they get adjusted, they have fun. I recommend bringing a special blanket or stuffed animal from home for rest time to help him feel more comfortable in his surroundings. And unfortunately, lessen the goodbye time, as not to drag out his anxiety, A nice hug and kiss and bye, have a good time and walk away. it's hard but it will help the caregiver attend to his needs quicker and avert his focus to other things. Hang in there and good luck!

I just started taking my 17 month old to daycare about a month ago, and she also would start getting upset at the site of the house and just scream when I left. It took almost a month for her to overcome it. Now we are in our 5th week and she is finally ok with staying and playing with the other kids. Although it was SO hard for me to leave her upset, it was good for her to learn to be with out me for awhile. My evening are also starting to get better too. She would miss me so much during the day that she would not let go of my leg when we got home each evening, I thought I would go crazy! I couldn't cook or even go the bathroom. Last night was the first night she was in a much better mood.Yeh! Maybe try to increase the time, I started out 4 days but in a row, mon. tue. wed. thur.I also had my daughter with me every day only she came to work with me which eventually, as the more active she got I had to put her into daycare.It was one of the hardest things I have had to do! Hopefully you get alot of good advise! Good luck! JT

I too have worked as a preschool teacher and agree with many of the other moms. I have seen this many times and some children take longer to adjust than others. there are some things that will help. one being a toy or stuffed animal he can have with him when you leave and a very quick goodbye is key! hard for you but best for him and the teachers. before you know it you will be looking for him to say goodbye to because he will be too busy off playing! good luck.

I have been an infant/toddler teacher for many years plus a mother of two. My biggest advice is to find a caregiver that is there every time you go and hand off to that person EVERY TIME. Let your son see you talking, laughing and trusting this person. If he senses that you or comfortable with this person and trust them then eventually he will come around. Be prepared though it might take awhile, it took one of my daughters 6 months to have an easy transition, but eventually she came around.

The best thing to do is to explain that you will back to get him and make sure that he is distracted when you actually leave to walk out the door. On your way there tell him that you are taking him to see his new caretake. Keep telling him how much fun it is and then when you get there sit with him for a minute if you have to and let him color or play with cars and then make a quick exit. He will soon start to see that you always come back. When my daughter first went to preschool I was just always honest with her, I told her, "mommy has to go to work and in a few hours I will be here to get you and then we can do X. (Whatever our plans were for that day) I was actually the one upset when she didn't cry for me on her first day. The provider should be trying to help you distract him while you leave! What does she say about this?