My 10 Year Old Daughter Hates to Leave the House.

is it actually about leaving the house, or is it driving?

because that's a big difference.

if she can leave the house to walk or bike somewhere, or to play outside, she's not agoraphobic. then you need to address the carsickness with medication and perhaps some slow desensitization.

but if she is struggling to go to school or won't play outside, you've got a bigger problem. that will probably require some visits to a child psychologist.
khairete
S.

Does she leave to go to school? Does it seem to make a difference depending on where you're going (for example, a grocery store rather than a mall, or grandma's house rather than a doctor's office) or is the anxiety the same regardless of the destination?

And since you're not a fan of traveling as you say, could you possibly be showing some fear yourself that she picks up on?

Have you tried a really fun or really soothing CD in the car?

I agree with Margie about the relaxation techniques and breathing. She had good advice for you. But if your daughter is that reluctant to get in a vehicle or leave the home, some visits with a therapist might help. Make sure to put it in helpful words, like "I'm going to take you to see a special doctor who helps with nervousness, that feeling like you're going to throw up, and who can help you learn to relax when you're nervous or stressed. I'm going to learn some helpful tricks and tips too and we're going to do them together". Because when my daughter went through psychological counseling, the psychologist suggested that it's good to do the breathing techniques together. You can each make sure that the other is doing them correctly, or help to count, etc. Participate in it with her.

Most people who get car sick find that sitting in the front seat is much, much easier. If you are able to turn off the airbag, you might consider letting her sit up front. If you're not comfortable with that yet, consider trying that when she's a bit older. It makes a huge difference to me. I much prefer sitting in the front seat when we travel.

If she does need to sit in the back seat, give her a Sprite and some pretzels or saltines and maybe some mints or gum. Those can definitely help settle her stomach if she starts to feel queasy. Also, try listening to music she likes or an audiobook or having a nice conversation. Do not have her bring a book or tablet or phone. Those will only increase her chances of getting sick.

I wouldn't be looking for another reason for her not wanting to travel. Instead, I would help her find ways to make travel easier. If there is something more going on, you'll find out in time. For now, take her seriously and try to work with her to make it manageable.

I think you have to figure out if it's actual car sickness vs anxiety.

One of my kids gets anxiety (every few years) and it manifests as stomach upset. She will belch and gets a mouthful of vomit (that's the extent of it). Mostly though, just nausea and it passes.

She learned relaxation techniques. These helped tremendously. I've listed them now a number of times - you can Google them. Essentially they involve breathing. Anxiety with kids kind of involves their feelings/bodies speeding up, so I think of it as slowing them down .... and a good one for my kid is to get them distracted - focus on 5 things you can hear, touch, smell, etc. with the breathing.

Another exercise is - what's the worst that can happen? What's likely to happen? (and you come up with plans). When it's done, you say "What happened?" it's likely a good experience. You keep reiterating that the worst cases never happened. It's empowering.

You work on empowering your kid. Get her into activities where she feels stronger as a kid, where she takes risks and does well. Could be climbing a tree, doing a cartwheel, riding bike, calling a friend, ... whatever it is.

Breathing though is where you typically start.

For your daughter if it's getting out of house, baby steps. Start small - short little trips, to local ice cream store, or whatever. I would come up with things she'd like to do.

I don't really know much about agoraphobia - I think maybe some sessions with a child psychologist would be helpful.

Does she open up? They have a hard time talking about it - because anxiety feels physical - she may just feel car sick. A therapist can get her to explain it or you can look online - lots of resources. Good luck :)

Why haven't you tried giving her some dramamine? At least then you would know for sure if it was a physical problem or not.

Take her to an eye doctor and get her vision tested. Quite often car sickness is caused by vision problems.

I agree with the eye doctor. But also get her checked by a pediatric ENT. Something could be off with her inner ear.

Make sure she sits in the front seat in the car. No reading while you are driving.

Its actually a problem because she's looking out the side window and the car is going forward. I get that too if I'm in the backseat. My trick is either I just look at the seat in front of me or I shift a little to the side and look out the front window. If your car has 3 spaces in the backseat have her sit in the middle and that should solve it.

Also no reading, playing games, or watching dvds while in the car because that'll cause car sickness

As a lifelong sufferer of motion sickness, I can relate, but it's still not clear from your answer if the dramamine helps her or not, and if she is comfortable going places if she can walk or ride a bike. If it's anxiety she's struggling with, it would probably be helpful to find a therapist who specializes in anxiety, possibly for both of you. It might help her to see you address your own issues and see what is possible. If it is primarily related to the motion sickness, there were lots of good ideas to try in other answers, but I would add ginger chews. I get a brand from Trader Joe's that are wonderful. I thought they tasted gross at first, but they really do help me, and I've learned to love the flavor.

Sea Bands and mint gum help my younger son. We always carry a bucket and a water bottle in the car as well. Eating soon before getting in the car is to be avoided.

When he was very small, we restricted his car travel to only when necessary because he was so miserable. For example, he had to go to his doctor appointments but there was no reason to take him to the grocery store since only one parent needed to go. We didn't go out of town to attend events or holiday stuff for a good 2 years. It was too much of a hassle for all of us.

When he was younger, he had some inner ear issues that needed time to resolve, but the frequent car sickness lasted to 12/13. Now it is only occasional.

When he was old enough to be home alone, we let him opt-out of non-essential car rides. He didn't choose to stay home when the end result was going to be fun, but having some control over it helps on the psychological side. I was/am also prone to motion sickness and have memories of my childhood was being forced into car trips that made me miserable.

If this is an anxiety issue where she melts down or has a panic attack at the idea of getting in the car, then she needs to see a therapist who can work with her. Cognitive behavioral therapy can work well but it has to be done properly and in stages.