My 13Month Old Will Not Sleep Through the Night!

When my son did that I gave him a book and asnack before I went to bed. When I woke up in the morning I could see he used the books and ate his snack and quietly went back to sleep. That was great.

First of all Congrats on another miracle. Ahh, the ultimate question of sleep. Let me just say my 6yr old daughter still does not sleep through the night. However, I have noticed that I do not sleep through the night either. I have no idea is this is genetic or not, but it seems to have trickled down throughout my family. Needless to say I understand where you are coming from, I like to play soft classical music for my daughter when we put her down at night, she has a nightlight and no other noises around to distract her. I have done this since she was a newbie, as well as given her a bath in Lavendar oils, or that Johnson and Johnson night time stuff. They all seem to work wonderfully for her. Trial and error with everything as well as PATIENCE... Again, congrats to you. From one sahm to another..

Try letting him camp out in your room. Try putting the crib matrice (I can't spell tonight?! sorry :) on the floor. Then you can all be happy. Or just let him fall asleep with you in bed and then gently move him to the bed you've made on the floor. The sounds of you two sleeping will be soothing to him and will help keep him asleep.
Try reading The Family Bed. It helped us A LOT.
Hang in there, if all else fails, you'll sleep again in your forty's :-)

God bless you sister! Well, I want you to know that I'm a testimony to a child "sleeping thru the night". My son, Elijah, has been sleeping 10-12 hrs a night from the time he was 8mo old and has had 2 good regular 1.5-2hr naps during the day until he was 30 mos old where he went down to one 2hr nap in the afternoon. I strongly recommend you read the book On Becoming Babywise for a great routine. The basics is to have an EAT,AWAKE,SLEEP pattern. A child should learn to fall asleep on his/her own rather than depend on a meal or a parent to sway them to sleep. Very good book, just use it as a guide, not the BIBLE. A parent will always know his/her child best. Also, if you're interested, another book I've recommended is "Shepherding a Child's Heart" by Tedd Tripp. It talks about how to properly discipline a child by taking him to the cross. Well, best wishes and God bless you and your family!

C.~
http://www.HelpUStayHome.com

ALoha. Welcome to parenthood. Take heart, NO, babies/children do NOT sleep through the night. (remember, "sleeping through the night" for a baby/child means sleeping 6 hours straight without waking. It is NOT according the the "adult" ideas of sleep).
Remember also, that sleep patterns are NOT static... they change. Think back as an adult... have you yourself had the SAME sleep patterns all your life since you were a baby and never woke up in the middle of the night even as an adult??? To expect a baby/child to NOT wake up will only lead to misery. Because they will wake up. Babies/children are always going through developmental phases and changes, cognitive and physical changes, and growth spurts. Their level of "awareness" changes too, separation anxiety develops, "night terrors" develops etc. as they change and grow. Sometimes they wake up because they are hungry, sometimes they just wake up for no reason and we will never know the reason why, sometimes the are having growth spurts, sometimes as they get more mobile they will actually stand up & pull up in the crib and may not "know" how to go back down to sitting or back in a sleep position without falling on their bum, sometimes they miss the parent, or have gas, etc. The list goes on and on.
The important thing is to keep to a "routine" to go to bed... kids and babies need to know what to expect. Sure, co-sleeping is so cozy for our little ones... they love sleeping with Mom or Dad. Many Parents co-sleep. But you need to figure out what method works for you. Crying it out, co-sleeping, etc. Sometimes their waking up is just a phase as they go in and out of developmental milestones and such. You are not alone... every parent goes through this. Since you will be having another baby, perhaps get a routine going now, with your current child, and "assign" either yourself or your Husband to put your son to bed (including wake up at night to put him back to bed too)... then you can put the new baby to bed,and be waking up for the new baby during the night. That way, you won't be having to put BOTH children to bed yourself every night or having to put both of them back to bed in the middle of the night. That is what we do. I put my youngest to bed (he's 1 yr. old), and my Hubby is in charge of putting my 5 yr. old daughter to bed.
It's much less stressful, for me, and it's better that way for us.
Are you still nursing your son? Sometimes if you are pregnant and nursing it can change the breastmilk taste and the flow or quantity of it. Look into that. Perhaps your son is noticing this change in his milk? If your milk flow is decreasing... then naturally your son is going to notice. Yes, I know, when a woman is pregnant they say to stop nursing... for various reasons as it may cause contractions. But, go by what your OB says.
Perhaps try a "transition" object for your son... ie: a pacifier, or something to cuddle with. My son likes his pacifier and a stuffed cow he hugs to sleep with. He's done this since he was 6 months old. But he can go back to sleep even if he wakes during the night.... he soothes himself back to sleep. So this works for us, in our case. Every child is different. Try different things. BUT... you NEED to get a bed/sleep routine going with your son before the new baby comes.... or it will be difficult and you will be too busy, as you will need to give attention to both children.
Children/babies learn by "repetition"... and consistency. Whatever method you choose to get him back to sleep.. you need to stick to it. They need to transition and to adapt to it. It won't happen in 1 day.. it takes time. Both Parents have to apply it. There are tons of different sleep methods, which you will be a lot of suggestions here, I'm sure.
Good luck, you are not alone in this, take care,
~Susan
www.cafepress.com/littlegoogoo

Congratulations on the new little one. It always amazes me when I hear stories of people who's kids sleep all night. I have one close friend who has three kids 8, 6, and 2months and she always has her kids sleeeping through the night very early I however have three kids 16, 14 & 5 and can't remember ever sleeping through the night.(ok not never) All I can say is God only gives us what we can handle and I too am so thankful that He is my strength. I could never do it on my own. The one thing I have learned is if you don't have a good sleeper at night you as a mom need to get rest when ever you can. I have learned that the house doesn't always have to be perfect and I get rest when I can. Children are not little for long they grow really fast and I try to just enjoy them as much as possible. By the way my 5 year old sleeps through the night about 50% of the time now but he still wakes and climbs into bed with us therefore I don't get a good nights sleep all the time but I miss my older ones not wanting to coudle like that anymore. Hang in there this too shall pass.

L.~
This too shall pass.
Yes, you and your husband will get sleep, just not until your kids are grown and out of the house. Ha Ha!!
My kids started sleeping through the night when they were about 2 month old. They would wake up during the night, but would usually put themselves back to sleep. Not to say that they never woke us up. Now, at 8 and 10, they still don't sleep through the night. It's normal. Most people wake during sleep for whatever reason.
My kids used to crawl in bed with us, but I finally had to tell them that they couldn't get in our bed because they took up too much room and they can't keep still. Sometimes we wake up to find our 8 year old is sleeping on the floor next to our bed.
If your son sleeps better on the floor, maybe you can get him a sleeping bag. Maybe he will stay in his own room or if he does come into your room, at least he isn't in bed with you keeping you up all night. You can try lots of things. Every person is different. Getting him on a night-time routine will definitely help.
Congratulations on your new blessing!! Now you really won't get any sleep!
Blessings to you and your family
~K.

Good Morning L.,
As my girl friend told me years ago when I was pregnant with my first son (I have three children), "sleep as you know it will be a sweet memory." I think the sleep deprivation was the toughest part of parenting for me so far. Try to take good care of yourslef so you can get through these times. You are the reason your baby wants to be awake. He wants to be with mama. There are books and sleep patterning things you can do. I chose to let my children find their own patterns. They are individuals snet here for their journey not mine. I am but a guide. In doing that I had to be willing to wake up and comfort and rock, and sing, and I also had the baby with me in bed at times. They all sleep well now, they all know how loved they are and I can tell you that every morning before I get out of bad, God and I set my intentions and make plans for a good day in my corner of the world. Good luck and be the blessing for this wonderous gift that now lives among us.

I am actually going through the same issue with my 8 month old. He still wakes up to nurse..... A full nights sleep is a thing of the past for me :) My son's name is Jeramiah also! I actually haven't came accross that yet! Even though it is 'well known' it is not common at all!! What is his middle name? Sorry, no advise! I need advise of my own!!!! ;)

Oh my gosh, I am so glad that I am not alone! My daughter just turned one on Saturday and since then she has gotten up 2 of the last 4 nights and wouldnt go back to sleep! On Sunday night she was up from 2-5 and my husband finally fed her some cereal and she went back down, for an hour and a half and then was up for the day. Last night she got up at 1 and had a bottle (thats not uncommon) and then went back without issue. But she woke up at 3 and didnt want to go back down. She will lay in your arms and just stare at you. I broke down and gave her another bottle at 4:30 and she finally went back down. Until 6:30. I feel your pain and I am seriously hoping that this is just a phase and will be over soon. The only other thing that I can think of is that shes going thru a growth spurt and shes just really hungry. We are tired too and I feel your pain! I work until midnight, sleep for a little bit until she gets up, nap again and then we're up for the day. I swear I wasnt this tired when she was little! I know that they say that I shouldnt feed her at night, but that seems to be the only way we get some sleep....I'm just as lost and confused as you!

Good luck!

Dear L.,
Don't give up hope. The first time my son sleeped through the night every night for a whole week, he was 2 1/2 and it started the day we swiched him from the crib to a big boy bed. He has done very well ever since. He is five now. We now have twin 15 month old girls and they have been great sleepers. So your next one may be entirely different. I say do whatever works for you. If you can all get some much needed sleep by camping out in the livingroom then go for it. It seems like forever while you are living it but in the big picture it really is a very short time in our lives. This time will pass and we will wish we could have it back. That's what I keep telling myself;)

L.

Hi L.--

Try putting him down earlier like between 6-7 & read the book Healthy Sleep Habit Happy Child. It is very rigid but it totally works if you are 100% committed to it. I probably sound like a broken record because I've said this 100 times on this site to other moms--- but really it changed my life.

God Bless

My daughter did not do well sleeping through the night and it got to a point where we just had to let her cry it out. She started to do a little better, but, as she got older her sleep patterns were still really irregular. She was restless, snored really loud and was up a lot of the time. Finally I took her to the doctor and they did a test on her. Her tonsils and adnoids were huge and she had sleep apnea. As soon as her tonsils and adonoids were out she slept soooo much better. I wish we would have been more proactive earlier on because I think it would have changed a whole lot of things for my daughter for the better. So, all that to say, if your son is a restless sleeper, snores and is constantly awake, it may not hurt, in a couple of months, to take him to the doctor and have them look at his tonsils and adnoids.

I hate to seem like a Johnsons commercial, but you absolutely have to get a bathtime/bedtime routine established! It is somewhat late but no too much, for your 13 month old, but get it started on the new one right away as soon as the umbilical cord falls off. This is mine...EVERY NIGHT (barring of course when it is impossible, but we have even done it at friends houses, hotels, anywhere there is a tub or just recently, a shower for now 16 month old, if we think we might stay late).

6pm dinner and last liquid
7:15pm bathtime (15 minutes) we played the same Bach CD for a year until it skipped
7:30pm tickle, pjs, kisses, hugs
7:45pm to 8pm put blanket back in crib a couple of times, tickle some more
8pm FREEDOM!!!!

The reason this works is even though he may not sleep right away, he now has the expectation of exactly how things will go, and he is comforted and feels powerful and knowing. He almost leads the way at this point. Also keep in mind naptimes. It sounds like yours has a natural cycle so all you have to do is provide specific times for "alone time". For instance, my son Wade gets up at 8am naps at 10am and again at 3pm. 2 hours each session whether he sleeps or not. This is all since he was 2 weeks old. This is as much for me as it is for him. I am due on April 3.

Now it may seem like this is a bit rigid, but let me tell you, it is so much easier that chaos. I'm all about ease!

Good luck!
M.

As a chrisitian I would strongly recommend the book Boundaries for Kids by Townsend and Cloud. Boundaries give a child a sense of safety and security. It would appear that there are few boundaries for your child. I know it is difficult to set limits and rules, but a child feels much safer when he knows what to expect; set bed times and nap times. You only have to give in ONCE and you have sent a message to your child that you are pliable and thus not steadfast. With my first child I remember her crying for five nights, but after than she slept in her own bed. I need my sleep or I cannot take care of others. Sometimes we forget the importance of a child learning to self soothe; a learned trait that we often rob them of!

L.,

I realy know where you're coming from because my daughter is almost 13 months and usually is up about 1 time still wanting to nurse. It is extremely exhausting. My son never did this at that age. He was always a good sleeper, so this is hard for me. I try and let her cry it out for about 10 minutes and if she doesn't go back to sleep then I tend to her. Sometimes she wakes up and then cries a little and resettles. If she doesn't go back to bed I nurse her. I think you have to give your son a little time maybe to put himself back to sleep. I wouldn't let him cry too long because that's hard on both of you. Yes it will pass and hopefully soon. Good luck and congrats on the upcoming baby! Try and relax. I had a 15 month old when I found out I was pregnant the second time and it can be exhausting.

L.

Great to hear L......As you know, the one thing God forgot, was the darn Instruction Manual. The Irregular sleep patterns appear to be normal. I heard that a lot of babies wake up every 2 hours for feeding...Tyler is now 4 months as of TODAY, and he is Finally sleeping up to 5 hours in a row, but mostly about 3 on average...Is Jeramiah COLICY?
Nice that you stay home, at least you can get a little nap in here and there throughout the day.
Remeber, prverbs 16:3 "Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and your plans will succeed...
Well, youve shown commitment, so your plans to sleep are comming.....
Stay healthy and strong, it will only get easier. We experienced a little frustration at first, now it becomes habit, and every day is a blessing with little Tyler....

Ferber method! You can tweek it to fit your sanity but we did it and it worked great!! Our daughter would wake up every night and have to be rocked back to a deep sleep before putting her back into her crib. We did this from birth to 6 months. Finally we had had enough and developed a routine, every night close to bedtime we'd do the same 4 things. Bath, short 30 min. movie to calm down, book, a short rock and before she fell asleep into the crib she'd go. I'm not going to lie, it was an awful 2 weeks. She wailed as if we were plucking every hair out of her body with red hot tweezers. At first we'd do what the book suggests.
Go in after 5 mins., don't pick up just reasure them you haven't left them forever.
Don't stay in the room for longer than a minute than leave.
Next time you wait 10 minutes.
Then 15 and so on.
It may take an hour but they will eventually go to sleep. Even when you think there soooo worked up there's no way.
I found out every quickly that as soon as I went in and left again the wailing was 20 times worse. So once we put her in bed, we didn't return. The result of our hard work and dedication, at 15 months old. our daughter would walk into her room all by herself when we say its bedtime after giving out night night kisses!
P.S: Earplugs also help...and wine

Hi L. I'm L. too! don't worry about the not sleeping! i have six and only one of mine ever slept through the night. bummer! she would only sleep in her crib so we had to bring it with us where ever we went!!! I had the crazy sleeper too kick you in the head because he ended up sideways on top of you pillow! I still have two in my bed an almost 4 and one yr old. It will get better and they do move out of your room! jusdt do whatever it takes to get sleep!! GOD bless you and Jesus ROCKS!

My first born son was the same. We do have the same routine we did then though and stick to the same time every night to do it. We read scriptures starting at seven or seven thirty. Pray together, brush teeth, pajamas, stories, then bed.
Even at almost four years old, he has a hard time falling asleep about half the time. However, he knows what's expected of him and will usually lie in bed looking at stories with his night light for one to two hours on the nights he can't fall asleep.
Sometimes when I see that he's really trying, I'll rub his feet and scratch his back...not enough that he depends on that to relax him though.
But I feel for ya. We tried cold turkey with him when he was a baby. He would cry and scream until he fell asleep holding the crib bars...poor kid. We just felt the need to teach him how to go to sleep on his own. Not sure what that did except make him feel more insecure. But he does know now what is expected of him-and he fights less than ever because he knows if he gets out, we just take him back in. Oh, and his reaction to bed time a lot is "I'm hungry". Anything to get out of it. We just tell him he needs to eat his food at dinner next time. They learn real quick how far they get with Mom and Dad and giving into their every whim does nothing but create insecurity, confusion and too much dependence.
I think a bed time routine will help the most if you don't have one already.
Also, I turn on a small fan and have specific CD's (mostly hymns in beautiful arrangements) that I've turned on for them very quietly since my oldest was a newborn.
That's their security and though at first it may be a struggle-just stick with it...my boy didn't really sleep through the night until he was two and even then he'd wake up at least once a night wanting me. Hopefully for you, your next will be a lot easier. It really does have a lot to do with the child. My second, a girl, was an angel sleeper from the time she was born. And still easily falls asleep when she's tired. She'll get off my lap in the middle of story time and say "bed" or "sleep", go lie down and be out within a couple minutes.
Just have to be consistent and with more high maintenance kids, a little stern...learn where to give and take-you need your rest and sanity.
Both my kids get up once or twice a night most nights even now and come to get into bed with us. I have to lead them back into their own beds-and the rule is not before six o'clock can they come in and snuggle with Mom and Dad. Otherwise, I wake up with every move and sound. Besides, I've got a new baby coming in a month and a half-so they're the big kids now. You can train them. It's also training yourself to stick with a routine and a set of firm rules (I'm far from perfect at sticking with the rules, but when I do, it gets much easier). It's hard, but once you get the hang of it, it makes your whole life run a lot more smoothly.
Good luck...hope your next is an angel sleeper for your sake. I still feel sleep deprived most of the time because I'm not a deep sleeper after having a first like yours-that and I'm a worrier-want my kids to be comfortable at every cost...but it's not worth it when I'm giving way too much and breaking down every couple weeks to the point of insanity. So don't allow yourself to give more than you can-they're capable of more than we think.