My 18 Month Old Wont eat....What Do I Do?

He isn't hungry. Children will eat if they're hungry, and if they're not they'll play or get the stuff they don't want out of their way. If he's eating well at daycare, he's probably getting enough that he just doesn't want dinner, especially if they have an afternoon snack.

First, make sure the daycare snacks and lunch aren't all cookies and gummy bears. If he's getting fruit, veggies and whole grains along with milk at daycare, he's fine even if he never eats dinner. Second, find out what time the afternoon snack is given (my kids in kindergarten were often given their snack right before dismissal and didn't want lunch.) If the snack is cookies or chips, etc., either provide him with a more nutritious snack, or ask them to cut his portion way down so he's not eating so much late in the afternoon. Then, only give him two or three bites of whatever his dinner is, maybe one bite of meat, a couple of green beans, and a chunk of potato. There's less to throw in the floor, and with less to choose from he might not dismiss it so quickly.

Also, if you're giving him milk or juice in a sippy cup or bottle on the way home or when you get home, start giving him water instead, or water down the milk or juice. Lots of kids fill up on liquid and don't want dinner. And give him water or a very small amount of milk with his dinner so he doesn't just drink that and get full.

You might try the book Feed Me I'm Yours, which is an excellent guide to how much a small child needs to eat (surprisingly little.) It also has good recipes and suggestions on feeding toddlers.

Last, unless your child is losing weight, don't worry and don't make an issue of eating. Children will not starve if food is offered to them and they're hungry. They might hold out if they don't like something, but very soon they'll eat. And if they're offered a wide variety of healthy food, they don't need butter, sugar, salt or other "sauces." They'll learn to like healthy food.

Just so you know, I'm not a health nut. I'm a school cafeteria manager with three kids and my own bad eating habits. But when my kids were little I started making grilled cheese without buttering the bread, and they love it that way (mine drips.) I started giving them whole wheat bread and they don't like white (I had to teach myself to eat it long after they learned.) When I took over the cafeteria at school, I quit deep frying anything, took the butter out of the veggies, and started offering more raw foods and whole grains. I have more kids eating lunch now than they had under the old system. The teachers don't like it as much! But the kids are learning healthy eating habits that will last all their lives.
Don't worry! This too shall pass.

We've gone through this and still do with my 2 year old. Here's what I think-- as her mom, it's my job to serve her healthy, nutritious, yummy food, and it's her job to eat it... she can't do my job, and I can't do her job. I think your son is just trying to assert his independence, and he's realizing at this point that he doesn't HAVE to do what you say. I would advise not to turn mealtimes into battles, nor would I fix him any and everything. We always try to make sure there's at least 1 thing on the table our daughter will eat for dinner, and she's expected to try the other things... not that she usually does, but she still gets some on her plate. He won't starve, and you know he's eating well throughout the day. Also, I wouldn't let him get away with throwing the food. We made our daughter help us clean it up after dinner-- just a little bit, so she'd see there were consequences or results to her actions. We didn't yell or punish, just say "Ok Maren, help Mommy clean up the food we spilled!" and give her a paper towel, or if it was something dry like cereal, have her pick up some pieces. Or if you think he's throwing food for the fun of it, or if helping you clean doesn't get the message through to him, I'd give him two chances and remind him not to throw food, and third time I would take the plate away and say "You must be finished with dinner! Let's get down and go (whatever)." I would try very hard not to make dinner or meals in general a battle though, because if he sees that it's getting a rise out of you he may continue to do it even more. At this age kids become so aware of cause and effect, and they can start to manipulate a bit. Just remember, this too will pass! Good luck!

Hey J.
From one single mom to another!
Don't fret to much, he will eat when he gets hungry. Since he's eating plenty at daycare, so far, it shouldn't be a medical thing. Kids' intake waxes and wanes. As for the food throwing, I would do what it took to save myself work. You throw food on the floor, you don't eat by yourself like a big boy. I've often fed my daughter who's three, off and on depending on cranky moods, sleepiness, bad temper etc.,just because I knew she could eat something but wasn't necessarily in a cooperative mood. Also, if he's getting to hungry before dinner, try having some goldfish or something for him to nibble on the way home. Watch for signs of him struggling with giving up babyhood and coddle him and reassure him he'll always be your baby. My daughter would have days where I knew she was sad about it . She's almost 4 now and loves being a big girl most of the time. I haven't heard anything from her lately but one day she just came out and said "I want to be a baby again". And I thought "don't we all sweetheart". So baby him when he needs it, and take back some of his independence when needed. You'll have fewer messes and I promise you he will grow up to be independent but will know that there are rules to. Stick up for yourself, you work hard, teach him to be good to you. God Bless.
J. Rogers

children go thu what they call sprits, they will eat when they are hungrey , just keep food near,L.

He's doing it because he wants to be in control. He wont starve hon. I haver 5 children and they all went through this to some degree, my 21 year old son was the worst. He'd eat a HUGE breakfast & not touch anything else all day!! I freaked & the pediatrician told me he woudn't starve himself to death...and he was right. I would our food, DO NOT fix him anything different, put it on teh table, if he wanted it great if not great...but nothing else would he get. This went on for a while and then he slowly started to eat. I never made a big deal of his not eating or his eating. Also, he was not allowed to throw his food & he had to sit at the table till we were all done. He couldn't get down & just play. Wasn't easy but in the long run it was very worth it.

Good luck.

my 3 year old son never eats a good dinner and he is at the 75% of height and weight! Don't worry. You could get the daycare to give you a list of what he is eating. YOu would be surprised! I'm sure he is getting enough caloric intake! Don't change anyting, always put the same food you are eating in front of him, if he throws it down, he does not get it back. He will learn and so will you! Good luck!

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J.,
Hello, My name is R.. I have a 4 year old daughter who just completed feeding therapy at Richmond Children's Hospital Day Program. You can see her at http://www.myspace.com/millerrenee. Her case is a little different she was totally g-tube dependent! She refused pretty much everything. However, in 7 weeks we were able to get her to eat 100% by mouth (all pureeds in her case because she doesn't have the chewing skills yet). Hope you can get some ideas from my videos! The biggest thing for Reanna is the rewards. She loves her DVD player. I reward her with each bite by letting her watch her video! You can also use toys at the table. You just don't give the reward until the bite has been taken. You would be suprised what rewards will do. You should think about joining my yahoo group at http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/learn_to_eat/. This group was originally designed to share her feeding progress as we were in the program. However, others have requested to join and now it is turning into more of a support group where other people can join and talk about their own challenges with feeding their children.

Sincerely,

R.